Single Mom | Single Mom Blog | Ms. Single Mama » wedding

The dress, the dress, the dress!

mssinglemama — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 00:17:27 +0000

After finishing up a photo shoot for a client in the Short North today I couldn’t help but pop into Big Rock, Little Rooster to say “hello” to the dress I’m considering.

The dress is in one of the photographs in this post. Obviously, I can’t let the cat out of the bag because one Mr. John Bear may be reading – although he is strictly forbidden from clicking on the “click here to continue” link after this image.

The rest of you can move right along.

For the record, I am in love with all of these wedding dresses. And, as you all know, I am not a wedding person.

Maybe it’s this boutique.

The perfect mix of high end glamour and down to earth raw beauty.

Kristin, Big Rock’s owner is giving me first dibs on these beauties when they move to sample sales in April – that’s the only way I can rationalize actually owning one of them.

You can guess all you want and tease me but I’m not going to tell you which one it is until the big day in May. I also want all of you to be surprised…

Technically speaking, I’m still on the fence about the dress. But with everything going on in my life right now the dress is far from the top on my list. I’m trusting the universe and Kristin will show me the way.

The Wedding Dress

mssinglemama — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 01:34:27 +0000

My Mom and I stopped into a bridal boutique a few days after John and I’s engagement.

We were right there. So, why not?

I’m not by any means a wedding planning bridezilla. Quite the opposite I’m afraid. The very thought of planning another wedding, even though my first happened so quickly, makes me a bit queasy. What can I say? I’m just not that into weddings. But, I am into romance. And, I do understand and realize that even though this is my second wedding this is John Bear’s first.

With that in mind, one thing John and I agree on is that our wedding won’t be completely traditional. For starters, we are bypassing the whole sit down dinner thing to save money and also to save everyone the trouble of sitting with complete strangers and eating food that (typically) is well, you know… anyway, we would rather have our ceremony and then dive straight into the reception/party.

Our dream wedding scenario plays out like this.

Ceremony. Vows. Kiss. Tada!

Band kicks up (and we hired the most amazing, dance your ass off band).

And then… the party begins, everyone has a great time and takes a shuttle bus to the hotel just around the corner.

That’s the plan anyway. But I know as hard as I may try to keep things simple there will be a lot of planning, decorating and overall loveliness to create. I’m going to get into it, I will. But I won’t get caught up. After the year we’ve had I just want to relax in to the new house and let the wedding happen on its own.

So… as Mom and I walk into the store she says immediately upon seeing me gazing at a long, white dress, “Well, you can’t have a long dress.”

“What??! Why not?” My typical naive-self, I was completely ignorant to what she was implying.

“Well, because, this is your second time.”

I threw a bit of a fit and said, “Seriously? Really? You think that means I can’t wear a long, white dress?”

“I don’t know. What will people think?”

“What people, Mom?”

“You know, people.”

Uh-huh. People? And this coming from my mom, the most liberal woman you’ll ever meet. Smells fishy. Smells like some old rule her generation had. But does ours? So then I did some Googling and there are all kinds of sites devoted to planning your “second wedding” with tips on choosing your “second dress”. And yes, they all suggest that I wear something short or ivory.

Turns out… I do really, really like the shorter styles. They’re cute. They are practical and they are less expensive. Besides, as Miranda said in Sex and the City – “The gig is up!” But above all, I could dance in a shorter dress.

I’ve asked John Bear and he, in his usual John Bear fashion, says he just wants me to be happy and to wear what I want.

Now your turn. What do you all think about this second wedding dress issue.

Beauty

mssinglemama — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 01:55:25 +0000

A few things happened this weekend that I will remember for the rest of my life…

Lesson #1: Never leave home without your camera

I realized one hour into my drive to Katie and Brian’s wedding, six hours away from home, that I had forgotten my camera. I couldn’t turn around, although I thought about it. Instead I resolved to make good with what I did remember – my iPhone camera and my digital video camera. So a movie is coming… but forgetting my camera – devastating. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to leave the house again for a destination without triple checking for that camera.

Lesson #2: My single mom status may be in the midst of retirement

I left my son for 36 hours with my significant other, my partner. I came home to a perfectly clean house and to find Benjamin completely content, well-fed and napping like an Angel. I am beginning to feel less and less like a single mom as John Bear steps up into his role as a potential step-father. (And don’t even ask me what I am going to do about the name of my blog, because I am not crossing that big of a mental bridge yet… )

Lesson #3: Some things never change

Weddings can be amazing if they are simple, pure and between two – or sometimes three – people who love each other more than anything else. And, even though Katie and I haven’t been in a church together in 17 years, making eye contact with her during a Catholic hymn still results in a juvenile like giggle attack by yours truly. Fortunately, I think everyone thought I was crying.

Coming this week:

The wedding video… along with the pictures I did manage to take with my iPhone.

Like this one of Katie, Brian and Spencer (their 5-year-old son). If you missed their story click here to catch up.

And yeah, she’s wearing the New Leaf Necklace.

Boxed in…

mssinglemama — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 02:22:05 +0000

Everyone in the world needs a new website.

It makes sense. The Internet changes daily and the website you invested in even one year ago is now out of date, out of whack and just plain useless. This is a bad thing for most businesses but a very good thing for me. I am flooded with work and starting to feel like I’m in a box that keeps shrinking. But then I pop out, crack through a window and meet another huge deadline and everything seems right in the world again. I love my work so it’s all very exciting. Can there be anything more rewarding than giving a small or medium sized business a website that actually works for them, rather than against them?

On top of my own work and this blog I have been spending a huge chunk of my time with these guys. Click onto this page and scroll down to the bottom – see? That’s me, working away, with my hand on my head trying to digest the gigantic amount of work my Troy Allen just handed me. When you say Troy’s name you have to say his first and his last together. He is the stuff of creative legend in this town and sometimes I can’t believe I’m working with him. You’d all love him, or be scared to death of him – I’m not quite sure… stalk him on Twitter here and if you get a chance ask him about the time Alaina gave him a branch of a pine wrapped up in a bow with a card attached.

Point is, I’m busy… very busy. Finding moments to myself are tough.

I’ll find more than a few this weekend when I’m driving up to Michigan for Katie and Brian’s beautiful wedding. John Bear will be back here watching over Benjamin for the 36 hours it will take for me to get there, to watch the wedding and then get back. It will be their first time alone for longer than three or four hours but as John says, “I’ve got to do it sometime. Why not now?”

And besides, being alone with Benjamin on in our cozy apartment will be far easier than embarking on a seven hour road trip with him in the car.

I’ll be going to a wedding stag, just me and my camera. Expect a huge recap along with a video when I get back.

Until then, check these out – a new round of photographs – the video about the Browns game and Fiesta Movement Mission #5 is coming soon.

The Trip Story, Part 4

mssinglemama — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 21:29:55 +0000

On the Friday after the Wednesday night when we finally got home, we took off again. This time Benjamin and Murphy were stuffed into the back seat and we were driving John’s car instead of Fiesta Dave. Even after hours of driving on our vacation, John never could get comfortable driving the stick.

The rehearsal would be on Saturday afternoon with a rehearsal dinner out at my mother’s house and then the wedding on Sunday. Up until now John’s exposure to my family has been limited, only because, aside from my mother, my family just isn’t around. When we do get together it can be quite overwhelming for anyone new to the mix. My stomach flipped on the way down just thinking about what John may or may not witness.

It was nearly dark when we pulled into our cabin, the Big Pine at Lake Hill Cabins. Tucked just one mile away from my mother’s house where wedding madness would be ensuing all weekend.

The cabin owner, Shelly is a long-time acquaintance of mine so she gave us a sweet deal. If you’re ever in Athens, Ohio mention you saw her cabin here on my blog and she’ll give you a discount too.

On Saturday, I reluctantly left Anna knee deep in cooking and party prep

while we headed off to the rehearsal where Benjamin practiced his impromptu role as his cousin Josie’s flower basket holder. He absolutely loved the idea of “going to work.”

Later that afternoon we headed back to Mom’s for a rehearsal dinner that would have made Martha Stewart envious. My mother and sister are master chefs in their own right, and had food fit for royalty.

And they have the shabby chic thing down pat.

And thanks to the Texans (Mom’s man Larry and his son, Micah)

there was enough brisket to feed an army.

But I was distracted by my handsome man, in his outfit that made him look he’d just stepped out of a J. Crew catalog.

On Sunday we were packing up, sad to leave the cabin but excited to get back to reality. After he popped outside with an armful of luggage John came bursting back through the door.

“Alaina!” he screamed.

“What? What?”

“The key broke, the key to my car just snapped in half.”

The wedding started in one hour and our cabin was twenty minutes away. I tried not to hyperventilate and reached for the phone. Who could we call? We tried my mother’s house but no one answered. We tried Shelly but she was away from her home phone and her cell wasn’t picking up. I managed to reach Eliot, who could only say, “Just don’t be late for the ceremony!”

Breaking the key, being so close to finally home and now completely stuck had not only snapped his key, but also John and I’s patience. We were both snapping, at each other, even at Benjamin who at this point could tell that he needed to keep playing with his toys and ignore the adult chaos above him.

Eventually we reached Larry who zipped over to the cabin. John jumped in the truck, took Larry back to mom’s and then came back to pick us up. While he was there I put Benjamin’s tuxedo on him and he looked up at me and said, “Mommy, I am a prince. And you are my princess.” As I buttoned his vest and secured his bow tie I saw his eyes on me with such intensity and knew this would be one of those moments he remembers for the rest of his life. Then I looked at him, kissed his little cheek and whispered, “Yes, you are, my little prince – always.”

Then John Bear pulled up.

Somehow we made it on time

but it was right before we walked into the ceremony that I noticed John’s vacant stare, he had reached his limit. We were here but how would we get home after the reception? Until we figured it out we sat back and watched my littlest brother get married to my beautiful sister-in-law…

I just love Katie. And would you look at this?

At the reception, you couldn’t tell but John and I were still tense as hell. See? Just look at me… I secretly want to kill a baby bunny, even though I’m standing next to my brother Ezra’s awesome super model girlfriend Monica.

And just look at John. He’s ready to snap.

In the end my brother lent me my old Focus, the car I’ve been letting him drive while I use my Fiesta. We drove it home and finally made it back around 1:00 am on Sunday night. A few days after I picked up his car, with the fixed key and things had settled down a bit I melted down. It was too much. The residual stress of the weekend and the trip and now I was feeling some kind of tension between us.

“I just think that maybe we are spending too much time together. Maybe,” I said to him over the phone in a hushed voice even though Benjamin was upstairs, “we should spend less time together and that would make things easier. Maybe there is too much pressure on us.” I had used these lines on men in my past and they’d been very effective in pushing them away, forcing them into a corner where their only option was to fight back, claw their way out and break my heart. But John wasn’t playing.

“Woah. Wait a minute,” he said, “that doesn’t make any sense. To me spending less time together would be running away from this. We’re going to be fine. We just have to work through these things.”

“You’re right, you’re right. I’m just trying to run. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, babe, everything is going to be fine. I’m not going anywhere.”

The next day, a Sunday, John came over and we all three spent the entire day together from start to finish. Our first full day together, it was absolutely splendid. And in the daily moments of chaos between juggling a child and a dog and everything else we just looked at each other and solved the problem, not with stress in our voices of faces but with laughter and smiles.

Compared to the last two weeks of our lives, this was cake.

Now for the rest of whatever life has in store for us, I can only imagine but I think we’re ready for whatever it brings.

The wedding album is now complete. I labeled the pictures… start with this one and read the story in the caption. Something crazy happened to Eliot and Katie en route from the wedding to the reception in their Just Married car.

—–

P.S. One of you said in my last post that these long trip posts seem manipulative. I can assure you, they are not… it just takes me forever to write them. This one, for example, took me five hours to put together. Five hours. It just takes a long time, really and between everything else – I do have to work still and then there’s the 3.5 year old thing. That’s all. Just don’t want any of you to think I am taking advantage of you. Thank you.

The weekend

mssinglemama — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 00:13:43 +0000

On Saturday morning John Bear (he now has a first name) and I headed up north to Cleveland for his cousin’s wedding. Between meeting his entire family and the ceremony we took a drive and made a few pit stops along the way.

The first to snap a shot of this

and the second to pick up a wedding card at this place, with a giant robot outside

and tons of memories inside.

Big Fun. Check the place out if you’re ever in Cleveland.

I could have spent the entire day in there, staring at those toys and remembering what it was like to be that young, that innocent. But when I look into his eyes I do feel completely young again, new almost. Like I’m starting over on a clean white sandy beach with not a soul in sight but his and Benjamin’s.

There’s a peace in finding this kind of a connection – a peace I may have lost hope of ever finding. But now it’s here and the only thing we can do is enjoy every moment.

After wishing we were 8 again, we headed to the reception pre-party at John Bear’s uncle Mark’s. It was here that I walked out onto the drive way and right into a total Bear bashing by this guy and this guy – John’s little (and single) brother and his brother-in-law.

Apparently the word is out about this blog and my little nick name for John. The Bear jokes would last the entire night. But John took it like any Bear would, he laughed and then sent a wink or two my way.

Between Uncle Mark’s and the wedding reception we stopped along the way to take a few glamour shots of our fabulous wedding outfits.

At the reception we took our seats at table #7. More luck. I’m not quite sure what to do with all of it or where it’s coming from… but I can’t seem to shake it off.

Part of me thinks I’ve died and gone to heaven.

As luck or fate would have it – I adored his family, each and every one of them. All I can hope is that they feel the same way about me because I’m thinking I may want to keep their John Bear.

We woke up Sunday morning and headed back to Columbus where we rescued our babysitter from Benjamin and headed straight to Athens for another kind of party.

Benjamin’s cousin’s third birthday party.

It feels like just yesterday that these two were just an idea, the little projects growing in their mommy’s tummies as my older sister and I gabbed on the phone about what baby clothes we’d bought or how long it would take our husbands to get the cribs together.

And now another story is here… another story entirely.

[I also want to point out the dude crouched under the pine tree with the camera - he's my brother Ezra and he is awesome. This Friday he's graduating with a Master's. Being Ezra he told me about it today and being the proud big sister I am I have to be there to watch him finally make that walk.

Unfortunately that means I'll be missing Morgan's wedding and her bachelorette party at the Hyatt in Lexington. Both the party and the ceremony will be broadcast live here - so tune in.]

P.S.

If you want some more good party reading check out my post about Benjamin’s third birthday party surprise and then the party for the kids (and adults) that followed.