Single Mom | Single Mom Blog | Ms. Single Mama » toddlers

A car full of single parents.

mssinglemama — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 19:47:03 +0000

How often does this happen?

Morgan (Modern Single Momma), Jim (Depot Dad) and I are having such an amazing weekend! We’re on our way to downtown San Francisco to interview people about dating and dating a single mom or single dad. We just shot this little video in the car on the way into the city.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=txLdn-I-pHA

I miss Benjamin like crazy but Grandma says he’s in heaven out in the woods with his uncles … making bonfires, playing in the mud – all of that boy stuff. Flying out tomorrow, hopefully I won’t freak out all of the parents with toddlers on the plane again.

O’ Daddy, Where Art Thou?

mssinglemama — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 16:25:16 +0000

Benjamin has this nasty little habit of calling every man in sight “Daddy.”

I’m sure if his father had a greater presence in his life this wouldn’t be the case. I’ve convinced myself, actually, that he does this because I’m a single mom. It’s just killing me. It happens in the grocery store, at the park, on the street, in the car, at his day care and in the coffee shop.

I’ve tried correcting him.

“No, honey, that’s just a man. A man, not a daddy.” And when it’s someone we know, “No, Benjamin that’s not Daddy that’s our neighbor, Ted.”

But to no avail. It’s so bad actually that when I see a man walking toward us on the sidewalk my body actually tenses up. Uh-oh. Here it comes.

“Daddy! Daddy!” He shouts, “Hi, Daaaaddeeeeeee!”

The poor, unsuspecting men usually smile and give Benjamin a big Hello. Then they probably go home and can’t sleep with their girlfriends that night.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Please, oh please say yes. You know what? Just lie to me and tell me it does. I could lock his real dad in a closet and force him to spend more time with his son. By the way, he was a no show last week (car problems again) and even though he hadn’t seen him in two weeks he tried to drop him off at my grandmother’s 8 hours early. I told him – no, that he had to spend time with his son.

Sometimes I think we’d be better off without him in our lives. What happens when Benjamin is old enough to know that his dad, his hero, wants to dump him off at Grandma’s the second he has the chance? What’s to say he doesn’t sense that already?

[Photo: Benjamin and his uncle Ezra, who he, of course, called Daddy all night. His cargo shorts are way too long! They look like short pants. So funny.]

How to Make a Toddler Laugh

mssinglemama — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 17:59:56 +0000

1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…

My toothless child.

mssinglemama — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 02:24:20 +0000

[This post is dedicated to Benjamin's first two front teeth.]

You might remember when Benjamin lost his front tooth on Christmas Day. After he took a big fall, the tooth cracked. Eventually the dentist had to pull it out (there were straps, it was horrible). Lately I’ve noticed his second front tooth greying … fading away almost.

A quick Google search for “discolored toddler tooth” tells me there’s no hope – the tooth’s roots are damaged and it will eventually fall out

Here are my words: “It will be fine, he’ll just have a gaping hole where his two front teeth are supposed to be for two-four more years. No big deal.”

Here is my brain: “F**K!!!!!! NOT AGAIN!”

It must have been the bad fall he had a few weeks ago at day care (my kid has no fear and is 100% boy. His falls are frequent and mighty – the day care is not to blame … believe me).

It sucks though. Seriously. They might have to pull this one out too. And what if he has speech issues? Or can’t bite into steak? And then, there will be the inevitable, “You’re a lousy mom” glares from mean parents.

Saturday night, it was too hot upstairs so I brought Benjamin to my bed. We were both asleep when he reached out for my head and pulled me into his chest. I’m not sure if he was comforting me or if it was the other way around, but in that moment I realized a few things:

1. Benjamin is about to become really protective of his mama.

2. He is the best thing that has and ever will happen to me.

3. And, teeth or no teeth – at least he has everything else, including his sweet, sweet little heart.

We’ll be visiting the dentist on Thursday. Keep you posted…

[Photo: Benjamin this weekend – notice the one missing front tooth…but, he’s still THE cutest little guy on the planet.}

If you liked this post, you might like, “Rock a Bye Baby – I want to kill the Barnes and Noble Lady.”

UPDATE:

The dentist says the rotten tooth can say, it doesn’t need to be pulled out at all. It will just stay there and won’t even get darker. But I do have to keep my eye out for a possible infection.

How to get a toddler into the bath.

mssinglemama — Sun, 25 May 2008 13:41:14 +0000

Tell toddler his or her microscopic plastic monkey wants to ride in a boat. Hint: Make monkey whisper in your ear. Act alarmed and sad when plastic monkey tells you he’s never, ever been in a boat before.
Ask toddler if he or she knows where the monkey can find a boat.
Remind toddler of the toy boat in the bath tub.
Bonus: tell toddler the monkey also wants to help wash his or her hair!
Toddler will lead you by the hand to the tub, his or her jaw will hang open upon the realization that small plastic monkeys can whisper in Mommy’s ear.

Photo Evidence: Sorry it’s blurry, I was giggling.

See the little monkey???

He’s there, in the center of the white thing. HILARIOUS. Benjamin would check on him every few minutes, just to make sure the monkey was having a fine time in his boat.

Will you ever have another one?

mssinglemama — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:44:03 +0000

If not, you could just get a fun widget and pretend.

I have to pass this on, a Pregnancy Clock for your MySpace page. Get it here, and share it with any of your MySpace pals or other bloggers who are expecting. Look, it measures your baby’s progress in real time! Maybe I should make a fake baby due date just to watch my fake baby grow.

If only I had one of these when I was pregnant. I remember going into work and saying, “Hey, what are you doing (co-worker).”

Insert random answer.

“Oh yeah? Well, today I’m making some toes!”

Cheers to pregnant women. Do you ever miss being pregnant? Do you think you’ll ever have another baby?

I’ve got to admit, the bigger Benjamin gets and the more amazing parenting becomes, I definitely don’t think it’s out of the question. I also want him to have brothers and sisters, I’m one of six – so I can’t imagine a life without siblings.

“They Repeat.”

mssinglemama — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:24:12 +0000

My best friend Mia mouthed this to me the other night while Benjamin and Sydney, her four year old daughter, were huddled beneath us eating cookies.

I had been talking about another adult, someone everyone in the room knows and has contact with frequently. Bad mommy. And naive mommy.

I may know a lot about being a dating single mom, but this mommy stuff – all of the rules – not so much. Mia is a few years ahead of me so she gives me pointers whenever she sees an “issue” cropping up. I welcome them and thank her profusely.

On the way to daycare this morning Benjamin started worming his way out of his car seat straps. He likes to do this because it pisses me off, I turn my head and he gets a mouth full of concerned shouts.

“Benjamin! Get your arms back in there! If you don’t – and we crash – you could go splat and die! Now put your arms back in there! Die, get it? Splat – dead.”

“Die! Die! Die! DIIIIIEEEEEEE!” shouts Benjamin.

Uh-oh. Distraction needed. He can’t go into daycare saying “Die!”

I turn up the radio. The girl on the air is so annoying. I flip the station – even worse.

“God, these people are HORRIBLE.”

“Orubleee. Orrrruble. Orub?”

“It’s horrible, honey, horrible.” I sound it out carefully. Is this okay? Where’s Mia when I need her? But he needs to know how to say horrible, right? It’s a useful word.

“Horubule!”

“Nice! You got it, baby!”

I love this kid talking thing btw – makes being a single mom much, much easier. Just have to watch it from now on. What are the MOST EMBARRASSING things your kids have repeated in public? Teach me some lessons, please …

[Photo credit]

Minor crisis or blessing in disguise? You tell me.

mssinglemama — Fri, 09 May 2008 14:15:17 +0000

***Crisis Management Update***

Two words – Thomas sheets.

Original Post

For the past three nights Benjamin has insisted upon sleeping in my bed.

Suddenly, after two years of sleeping in his own room, he wants to sleep in mommy’s bed. Last night, I went up and soothed him back down – four times – four times! Finally, I gave up and brought him downstairs.

Could this be a blessing in disguise? With Benjamin in my bed every night it would keep me from letting a man into my bed – prevent any flings with unworthy bedmates.

Or is it a minor crisis? What’s with this sudden need to sleep with me? How do I break the cycle? And what if I do meet someone, a potential boyfriend or even a fling? Future Alaina definitely won’t want Benjamin in my bed.

My co-sleeping pro and con list

The Pros:

He doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night, which means solid sleep for moi.
We get that physical bonding time, I’ve heard it’s especially important for working moms.
I get to hear him breathing and snuggle up to his little cheek – pure bliss.
If he sleeps in my bed every night there’s no way a man will ever get in there (could be a pro).

The Cons:

I can’t clean my room, usually I clean after his bed time. My room is TRASHED.
What if he has some weird mommy neediness issues later on.
If he sleeps in my bed every night there’s no way a man will ever get in there (could be a con).

What should I do? I have to turn to all of you on this one … I mean, without a husband around why not just sleep with my kid?

A sweet little reunion.

mssinglemama — Sun, 04 May 2008 19:29:49 +0000

I picked up Benjamin Friday night.

He saw the car pull up my Mom’s driveway and stood there in disbelief. Could it be, could it be Mommy’s car? When he spotted me behind the wheel, his little mouth dropped open and just stayed open … hanging there as he ran to me in a stoic force of energy that only a two-year-old can harness.

“Mama!!! Maaaammmmmaa!!”

Big, deep hugs and lots of laughing and kisses ever since. It’s been a phenomenol weekend. And he hasn’t thrown a tantrum once. Not once. Oh, and that talking thing – you know when they say the babbles suddenly turn into sentences? It’s happening. Awesome by the way – when your little human starts spouting thoughts. Can’t wait to find out what’s in his little head …

And I’m thinking visits to Grandma’s more often might not be such a bad idea.

No related posts.

Toddler-free (for one week?)

mssinglemama — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 13:07:17 +0000

My mom has had Benjamin since Tuesday morning (his dad dropped him at her house after their Monday night sleepover). She’d been dying to see him and begged me to hand him over for a night. I did, gladly. “Take him. He’s been driving me nuts!”

Now she’s offering to take him for the rest of the week, “You need a break. You do. And that’s what grandmother’s are for, right?”

So at this point (Wednesday morning) … I’m still all for it.

I do need a bit of a break. Benjamin has been in full blown terrible two mode for weeks now, and it’s been tough – really tough. I’ve reached my breaking point way too many times. If she can really make it until Friday, it could be good for both of us.

But I’m not sure if I can make it until Friday. Major Benjamin withdrawal could set in. But I feel like I have to allow myself a guilt-free week of fun dinners out with friends, shopping and sleeping – lots of sleeping.

UPDATE - It’s now Wednesday night, about to leave work and I’m still sitting in my office. I miss him. Half tempted to jump in the car and go get my little guy. Sigh. Not sure if I can do this. But mom called and he’s still having a blast.