Last I checked Benjamin had just learned how to walk.

We still spent every night together cuddling up on one another in between play time bouts that included the likes of hide-and-go seek crawling and tickle attacks. My biggest worry when I took this picture was whether or not that scar from a fall he took would ever completely heal. Little did I know I should have been worrying about those two front teeth instead.

Then we moved out of my mother’s house and back to our little, big city where Benjamin, obviously, just kept growing. Here he also learned how to master the art of throwing fits.

The sweat on his forehead in this picture was from the hot August sun, under which Benjamin had been dancing for hours. First with me and then with some hippie dude. He loved men at that age, always wanting that extra attention from Mommy’s mysterious deep-voiced, broad shouldered brethren. Before I snapped this picture I took a quick moment to sit down with a tarot card reader. I needed some advice, the kind you can only get from a stranger with a knack for reading people and cards.

“You’ll be fine without a man so it’s just up to you. You have to decide if you want one or not,” she told me.  I didn’t know the answer then, but I do now. And then suddenly, almost in a blink, Benjamin shot up from that little two year old to this absolutely gigantic three year old.

I know he’s still small to the rest of the world, but to me, to his mama, he is a little giant. And finally, after all of this time, we are both free. That baby stuff is behind us and we’re moving into new territory, big boy territory.

How did this happen? And where did it all go? All of that time? The only thing I can recommend to any new mothers out there is this – buy a decent camera. I don’t care if you have to put it on your credit card, but for the love of all that is holy, buy your family (whether there are two or eight of you) a camera that can capture some decent photographs. I use this one now and regret, daily, that I didn’t have it from the beginning.

The decent shots I do have of Benjamin during our first year are few and far between. Pictures of us together are especially rare.

I took this picture of us just one week after I left his father when Benjamin was four months old. Looking back on the last three years the only thing I can think is, “How in the hell did I do that?”

This week is my blog’s two year anniversary. For this reason, the fact that my baby is turning into a boy in front of my eyes and because of some life changing news I have yet to share with you I am going to take a one week break from blogging. I just need to think and enjoy my moments. I don’t mean to be a tease but that’s all I can tell you right now – more to come, I promise.

Win a Silver New Leaf set and a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored

If you are a fan and have been reading just leave a comment and you’ll be entered to win one silver new leaf necklace set and a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored. There are only 20 silver necklaces left and this really is the last batch of 2009 (unless someone else starts making them because my designer is officially off on her extended European vacation).

Related posts:

1. Why I am a single mother.
2. Big Tease
3. My Camera (and My Aprons).

I am beyond busy right now.

Things are happening and I’m not quite sure what will come of them but I have to be focusing my attention on all of these things, and there are a few.

Namely the funky smell creeping up out of my basement and my apartment that needs to be cleaned three times as often as it used to because I am here all day long messing it up. And this week Benjamin’s father bailed because he didn’t have the $10 in gas money to get up here. Yes, a winner that one.

Did I already mention that I am busy?

So busy I can’t even write a blog post worth reading. What is happening to me? I am growing in so many ways but being a work-at-home mom is by far the most stressful and time consuming job I have ever had. Not that the rest of you hardworking individuals aren’t out there busting your butt every day but come on – could you really do what you do with a three year old jumping up and down in the same room shouting and screaming at you to transform his Transformer that happens to be covered in some kind of mysterious goo?

Sure, there are the rewarding moments like when he looks up at me and tells me, “Mommy, I love you so much, I really do.” Or when his pre-school teacher tells me what an amazing colorer Benjamin has become, “filling in every empty space and practically staying within the lines.” But I’m not sure if I can handle this stay at home, work at home mom thing.

Time will tell. While I wait for adaptation to kick in I wanted to take my new readers back to an old school video of Benjamin. I think this was one of the first we made for my little blog.

Can you believe how much he has grown? YouTube tells me that video is from June 3, 2008. He was that little one year and three months ago? Not possible. And he was only missing one of his now two missing front teeth. What next? Will he grow another arm or something?

I measured him today and he has grown two inches since July 31st. Two inches. So doesn’t that mean he is growing 1/32nd of an inch every day? Amazing. What a little shit. And he tells me so too, every day he says, “Look, Mommy! I got bigger!” He’s up to something and I’m on to him. As for you work at home moms – my hat is off to you. I truly don’t know how you do this.

Watch the rest of my videos here to catch up on what you’ve missed. And if you’re wondering what happened to Benjamin’s two front teeth read this.

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1. The oddest day.
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I’m announcing the winners to three contests today but you’re all winners.

You know why?

Because, long ago, you learned how to go on the potty. If you’ve seen this video you know I don’t like talking about bodily movements or anything close to them in public. But because Benjamin’s bowel movements, or lack thereof, are the reason I am up – right now – at 6:00 a.m., I feel obligated to share.

I am tired but happy, curled up in a little blanket on the big chair in the living room. Benjamin is coloring. I’m happy because he just ate a magnificent breakfast,  breakfast fit for a big kid – three eggs and an entire bowl of oatmeal. He woke up at 5:45 saying, “Mommy, I’m hungry.” Hungry and awake because last night he couldn’t go on the potty and then decided not to go at all. The tummy ache or cramped up poopy feeling made him pass on his dinner. Like the bad mommy that I am, I completely forgot to force a bowl of yogurt on him before bed. Now here we are – awake before the sun is even up.

I’ve tried every bribe in the book, every imaginable thing a kid could want he has been offered on multiple occasions. Last week, when he started clutching his belly and begging for a diaper, jumping up and down saying, “Mommy, it hurts, Mommy, it hurts! I need a diaper”, I told him a big, rotten fat lie. It went something like this, “While you were at your Daddy’s this week Santa came into the house and took each and every one of your diapers. Then he told me he’s watching to see if you poop on the potty. If you do, then he’ll bring you tons of presents at Christmas.”

The kid shot like a dart to the toilet, sat there for a few minutes and then dropped a tiny, little package that was worthy of me freaking out. Then Benjamin joined in the joyous shouting and jumping. At one point he even crushed his arms together like a WWF wrestler and growled, pulsing all of the muscles in his little neck, “I pooooooppped on the potttty. Grrrrrr.”

We called John Bear immediately, “Hello, Santa.” I said. “Benjamin just pooped on the potty and he wants to talk to you.”

“No way! He did?” John Bear was beyond thrilled. It’s something about being a man, he wants Benjamin to learn how to use the potty like one. The diaper thing, although John has been amazing about it, is definitely up there on the slightly uncomfortable although entirely tolerable side effects to dating a single mom.

“Yes, he totally pooped on the potty. So Santa, can you talk to Benjamin?” Benjamin was buying the whole thing hook line and sinker, gazing up at me with his mouth hanging open.

“I’m at work. I can’t do that right now,” he laughed. Well, you’re about to anyway, I thought while looking at my adoring kid.

“Okay, hold on Santa, here he is.”

I handed the phone to Benjamin and then I heard John Bear’s booming Santa voice pipe through the phone. Benjamin could barely speak and after a few seconds of chatting handed the phone back to me. Then we headed out to our favorite used toy store to pick out a prize and when we got home there was a mysterious present waiting on the kitchen table.

“How did this get here? It must have been Santa!” I exclaimed while Benjamin looked on in amazement at the Transformer bobble head doll.

“I was at the grocery store and I saw it so I picked it up,” John told me later. Wow. Perfect timing on all fronts. But, in spite of our flawless pre and post potty package drop extravaganza the next day when he had to go Benjamin gave me one look and then ran up into his room for a diaper. He didn’t even think twice about trying the potty again. We’ve been downplaying it and ignoring it ever since but still encouraging him to go when it’s time.

So, here I am. Wide awake and knowing that I’ll be exhausted in a few hours. Isn’t that the rule of parenthood though, the reason why we all fall off the face of the Earth for years after the newborn arrives – poop and sleep, poop and sleep and then other stuff like teething and growing pains and scary monsters in the closet.

Now you know why you’re all winners.

It’s because at one point in your life your mother was freaking out training you how to use the potty and eventually you both crossed that victory line together. You don’t remember it, I’m sure … but I promise you it was probably quite a feat.

Congratulations.

Now the winners of those fun contests:

My Single Mamas (a sexy contest)

Grand Prize Winner of the Flirty Apron, Ms. Single Mama Uncensored and New Leaf Necklace in brass is: La Primera.

Runners-up, who all receive a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored:

Miss Kitty
Victoria
Hollie
Angela

My Super Hero Contest

Grand Prize Winner of the I’m Your Bus Back to School Kit, the BabyPop.com cape and a copy of Ms. Single Mama Unccensored is: Single Mom in New England!!!

[I pick these winners randomly by scrolling down with my finger on the screen and when it landed on her I freaked becuase she's been reading my blog since its start.]

Runners-up, who all receive a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored and I’m Your Bus:

Carol
Kaylin
April

Haunted Bedford Contest

Winner a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: @alyssainez

Thanks everyone for entering. I think we had over 200 comments in all to the contests. You should know I read every single one of your comments, always. Can’t respond to all of them anymore but I am reading them.

More big contests coming up next week. Going to be really, really good. Not sure why but I get the coolest prizes ever.

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While the rest of the world continues to spin, with all of its good news and bad, there is one little universe that remains unchanged.

The universe of Benjamin, where he must – by now – have realized that he’s kind of cute.

He’s also learning how to play the adults in his life like a fiddle.

With just one pout of those puffy little lips, or one convincing, “newdea” – translation, “new idea” - he can enrapture you with his seemingly true tales of life as a three-year-old.

Somewhere along the road he used this little face to convince his mommy that “daddy said it was okay to pee pee in his diaper” and vice versa. He’s been pinning us both as “diaper push overs” and we’ve both been buying it for weeks.

This next photo, below, this is a photo of his victory smile. It’s the sly little crook of his mouth he whips out after he’s pulled a Don Corleone on your ass.

So if you run into this little man on the street and he starts telling you a tale that has anything to do with ice cream or Transformers and that story involves you or someone you know

whatever you do

do not be distracted by those eyes and that adorable little nose, or his pip squeaking Elmo-esque voice

because this guy has your number (and he knows it).

P.S. Any potty training tips would be appreciated. He’s going #1 just fine but just can’t make the jump to #2. And man, oh man, is this mommy fed up. I’ve tried bribing.  Big bribes. This week John Bear even bought him a Bumble Bee transformer but so far he won’t take the bait.

Check out more pictures from this weekend in my Recently photo album.

—-

It’s been hot out (a contest).

Very hot. The nice, awesome folks at Baying Hound (a locally owned business here in Columbus) gave Benjamin and I some stainless steel drinking bottles so we can drink to our hearts content wherever we may go. I picked Pink Love.

Now it’s your turn.

Pop over to their site and surf through all of their beautiful reusable bottles, then come back here and leave a comment telling me which bottle you would like and if I draw your name – Baying Hound will send you that very bottle.

Good luck! Contest ends on Friday, July 3rd.

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