Single Mom | Single Mom Blog | Ms. Single Mama » Thomas

Pulling teeth, my nerves, and the Dane.

mssinglemama — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 04:36:24 +0000

Benjamin will probably lose his second front tooth tomorrow.

I’ll have to watch them strap him down, gas him and then pull. All of this after they stick a needle into his gums. And I’ll have to do it alone…again. The first time they replaced his cracked tooth with a cap, the second time they pulled it all out. This time they’ll be pulling out the second front tooth that has been rotten for months now.

His little feet are the only things sticking out of the body wrap, which is put on after they strap his wrists. So I kiss his little toes while he screams and I try to stand up so he can see my face.

The nurses have to remind me not to look so scared. But I can’t help it. He’s screaming his brains out – scared as hell. He uses all of his muscles to try to break free from the straps. Horrible. Could be worse. I should not be complaining. It’s just that baby pain = mama pain.

Another thing on my mind…

I’m incredibly nervous about leaving for Denmark. Not for the trip itself – Thomas will be quite the host – I’m nervous about leaving Benjamin. His grandmother wants to plan her own vacation and isn’t sure if she’ll be around. Which means his father, who has never had Benjamin for more than 36 hours, may have him for seven days straight.

If he does, I may not be able to completely relax. Which means I may not be able to completely enjoy the Dane. Benjamin stress aside, I’m starting to get excited … the trip is only four weeks away now. I try not to think about Thomas (he lives so far away, it’s just pointless to me to miss someone that badly). But every time he e-mails me I smiles or laugh – and my heart usually goes all aflutter.

We don’t even talk on the phone and we only exchange e-mails intermittently but I still feel connected to him. He’s planning out our trip and it’s the most adorable thing ever… we are going to see castles, old churches, his friends, beaches, the countryside and we may even squeeze in northern Germany.

Maybe I could fit Benjamin into a carry on? Or maybe he’ll pass as a baby and he can ride for free? Maybe if I show the flight attendants his missing teeth they’ll let him on out of pity. Nope. He’d need a passport. Besides if I bring him with me – there’s a chance – I wouldn’t come home.

Chocolate. Cheese. Men. Castles. What else could a single mama ask for?

UPDATE: The x-rays show the tooth hasn’t changed. Still dead but no obvious signs of infection. So it stays and I will just have to watch him closely over the next few days to see if it is hurting him… it may have been that he bumped the tooth at day care – hence the soreness. And Benjamin was SUCH a big boy, got his x-ray all by himself and everything. I’m a very proud mama.

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 4

mssinglemama — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 22:31:00 +0000

On Saturday night Kris came over. Yes, I’m weak. Damn it.

We met at a bar. I called him after writing my baggage post which stirred up all kinds of Kris memories. But by the time he got there my sickness, which had started creeping up on me earlier in the evening, was now a full blown stomach cramp. I could hardly stand up let alone swallow my drink.

“We have to go home, I feel sick.”

“No…,” he takes a step back, “No way. I can not get sick right now.”

This actually made me laugh because the look of fear on his face, he has a very charismatic face, and it looked like I was pointing a gun at his head. I couldn’t blame him. Benjamin’s day care bugs are the worst illnesses I’ve ever had, each one with it’s own unique set of vicious symptoms – pounding headaches, severe stomach cramps or violent coughs. It always surprises me that the little guy handles them with such grace. But not us adults. And Kris, having dated me for six months, has had his fair share of them.

I live just a few blocks from the bar so he walks me home anyway and I promise not to kiss him. After thanking the sitter we curl up on the couch. No kissing, just cuddling. So nice. I told him about the post I’d just published.

“I wrote about my baggage tonight.”

“Baggage? You don’t have any baggage. You just can’t ever hang out.”

Nothing like the clarity of a 24-year-old’s mind to make you feel like a goof for psycho-analyzing yourself. So I have two more tips to add to my list on How to Date a Single Mom:

1. Single moms can’t hang out all of the time. Take me for example, I am only available on Monday nights, which I’ve already got booked solid for the next two weeks. So to squeeze you in I’d have to find a sitter. Usually after a few dates and if I really like the guy, I invite them over for wine on my front porch (after Benjamin’s asleep). Once a guy’s in – like Kris was – I can be very spontaneous as long as Benjamin is invited. But, to a younger man, I’m sure a single mom’s inability to go out on the fly (without the kids) is a big negative. But that’s okay because young guys aren’t ready to settle anyway…

2. Pack your vitamins. If you’re dating a single mom with little ones in day care or school. And if they do get you sick you may experiences sicknesses the likes of which you could never have imagined – don’t make a big deal out of it, just take it like a man – because if you’re dating a single mom, chances are she’ll be too busy to bring you chicken noodle soup.

P.S. Kris left me a bucket by the bed and tucked me in … no drama, no crazy romp in the hay, just a good friend. And Benjamin’s illness had me on my ass for two days. Fun. One of the only times I daydream about having a sweet husband or boyfriend to take care of little me.

Related Kris posts you might like:

One Step Back, Two Steps Forward

Did I lose my Mr. Good Enough?

And my other How to Date a Single Mom posts:

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 1

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 2

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 3 (Thomas‘s perspective)

[Photo Credit: Spring Love, find it here]

Thomas would kick Mickey Mouse’s ass. Elmo would watch.

mssinglemama — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 17:02:50 +0000

In hopes of preventing my son from unnecessary and costly material obsessions – I have limited his exposure to all typical child fascinations. But all of the following have somehow slipped in. Benjamin, just shy of two, has now developed fascinations with Thomas, Mickey and Elmo. And I’m afraid, there’s no going back. Thought I would vent on our new roommates…and distraction is good when you have relationship issues.

Thomas “the freaky” Tank Engine.

He discovered Thomas at the used toy store when a kind old lady (who I wanted to hug and kick at the same time) handed him a Thomas toy after he yelped for it. He wouldn’t let the thing out of his sight for two weeks. Then Benjamin was on a mission. He remembered this blue, smiling face from somewhere. His book stack! Yes, buried in the book stack was a Thomas story book I had bought for my nephew years ago. Then, a few days later, he emerged from his basement playroom with a Thomas DVD, also my nephew’s. “Train! Train!” He cried. Okay. I give in. Now we watch Thomas episodes, read the book and of course, play with that freaky Thomas toy.

Mickey “Prozac” Mouse

My best friend dropped her daughter off for an impromptu play date. She left a Mickey Mouse Club House DVD behind. A few weeks later Benjamin and I both caught a nasty sickness. Unable to move much, we had a movie watching marathon. Baby Einstein was driving me nuts. So I popped in Mickey Mouse. That was it. Mickey or “Ickey” was here to stay. Faced with any challenge – Mickey always rises to the occasion. Even when Pete, the nasty big cat, shouts in his face – he’s still smiling and always forgiving. Sometimes I want to punch Mickey in the face but I’m glad he’s teaching my kid how to be nice. And he has a really, really cool Club House.

Elmo – the pacifist monster

Ahhh…little Elmo. He’s so damn cute. I was a huge fan of Sesame Street when I was a kid. I remember when they introduced Elmo. I hated him. He just didn’t make sense and didn’t have anything on Cookie Monster – but now, as a mom, his appeal is clear as day. He’s Sesame Street’s answer to whiny, little toddlers. But he’s smart and that kid’s got character. I like him. If you haven’t seen Elmo in Grouchland check it out. Elmo loses his blankie – quite dramatic.

Hopefully all three will die a slow death and my son will play with inventive toys that inspire creativity. But I have a feeling that Thomas, Mickey and Elmo might win this fight.

[Photo credit: ThomasTankDepot.com, SesameStreet.org and Disney.com]