Single Mom | Single Mom Blog | Ms. Single Mama » texting

The dating front

mssinglemama — Tue, 05 May 2009 01:23:59 +0000

I’ve met a bear.

It’s quite ironic actually because after I wrote about the tiger and the lion, a bear showed up. What’s even odder is that so many of you had commented telling me only a bear would do. And I sat here reading those comments, wondering – perplexed. Why the bear? What’s with this bear thing?

And then he surfaced with his crystal blue eyes, soft smile and then his big bear hug. So clearly not a lion or a tiger, the bear is as you all said – comfortable, strong, delightfully funny, intelligent, patient and respectful of all of my boundaries (emotional and physical). And he calls me. On. The. Gasp. Phone.

It’s too early to tell much of anything, except for the teeny tiny fact that the bear has potential.

Dating is always fun for me, easy almost, until I bump into someone who is really there, someone I may actually want to keep around, someone who wants to keep me around… someone I can see myself with. Then fun typically turns into something more intense, something that sends me into a soft panic. Of how and why. But so far, there will be none of that.

This time I’m ready. And I’m going to enjoy him, not fear him.

—–

Another single mama bites the bullet.

Tracy of a Brand New Day, Tracy of One of My First Single Mama Blogging Friends, is now engaged. I can’t even tell you how odd it is to sit here and watch the single mamas all fall. Mommy Pie, Morgan and now Tracy. Fall in a good way… I mean fall into love land when they least expected it or wanted it. That, is the trick, it appears.

So go check out Tracy’s blog for her proposal story. I know you love those. The best part? Her big man asked her little man for permission. Wow.

—-

Sometimes it’s a good thing when you receive an errant text…

meant for another girl with a name very much like yours.

“Drinks with you went much better than expected : ) im glad we met up tonite!”

And suddenly you realize why your perfectly dateable, totally attractive, single dad friend is still single.

He can’t text girls worth a shit.

This is not the good thing. The good thing is that I can help him.

So I text back:

“Wrong girl!!!! Haaaaaaa. And never text a : ) to a girl again. You need texting lessons!”

I called him and gave him the some tips, the first being not to text a girl seconds after you’ve parted ways. Let her wonder a bit. And yeah, the smiley face from a guy – not so much.

After my divorce I realized quickly the world of dating had changed thanks to text messaging. I soon discovered that many guys, especially the younger ones, actually ask you out on dates via text and sometimes even cancel them via text. At first I balked at all of this but now I’m slipping into the texting camp.

I’m also discovering that a man’s texting style, like his kissing style, can either turn me completely on or off.

Sometimes guys, it’s better to just pick up the phone.

With that said, if it’s a single mom you’re calling be prepared for the sound of her three-year-old in the background, “I want to talk! Let me talk.”

Or, “Mommy! Mommy! MOOOOOMMEEEEEE!!!!”

I still can’t even imagine what it must be like to be childless and dating someone with a child. Some of the men, upon hearing my screaming little one in the background, ignore it all together and jump off of the phone.

Others patiently wait while saying, “No problem, take your time.”

I prefer the later, of course, and typically drop the ones who are uncomfortable with the kid factor. One thing nearly as annoying as the sound of a three-year-old begging for attention is a man who can’t handle kids.

Sometimes the benefit of the doubt is in order, but only if he’s not meant for serious things.

—–

Winners.

It’s taken me SO long to do this. But congratulations to Lindsey Jay - you won the Dating Topics game, courtesy of SingleEdition.com.

And congratulations to Nydia, Sheila, Margaret from the NM, Angela and Mary – you’ll all be getting a copy of Christine Coppa’s Rattled!

I am still necklace shopping but have one on its way that may be the perfect fit. We all made it together! And I’m SOOOOOOO excited to unveil it here. Hopefully it will be here by Friday. So hang on… keep leaving your feedback until then, everyone who comments has a chance to win that very necklace, or the necklace of their choice.

I’m thinking the winner will want the new necklace though. The first one.

Dear Single Men:

mssinglemama — Fri, 23 May 2008 02:36:09 +0000

I would like to introduce you to a phone.

That thing with numbers. You push them. Then you talk to the person on the other end, and if it’s a girl you’re asking out for the very first time you make the call at a reasonable hour – ask her questions about herself, yada, yada – find a mutual meeting spot and set a date. You DO NOT SEND A TEXT MESSAGE.

If I were 15, it might be okay. But I’m 29! And I want to date a man, not a boy.

Remember the guy who kept texting me? I was so annoyed I texted him to call me the next time. Five days later, not phone call and then – another text. At this point the Dane had landed and the guy didn’t have shot in hell, but this is still funny.

Here’s how it ended.

Five days later … another text!

His Text: What are you doing this weekend?

My Text: Going to Athens.

His Text: Ha! See ya there.

My Text: Which festival are you going to?

No response.

And then late that night, while I’m falling asleep… my phone rings. It’s him! What??? I send it to voice mail. Then it rings again! And he leaves another voice mail. Two voice mails. The next morning I listen to them.

Message 1:

“Hi, Alaina, It’s Engineer. I – ughhh – hope you still remember me, I’m the guy you met at the bar the other night. Anyway, I really hope we get to hang out again. Later.”

Message 2:

“Hi, Alaina!” repeat first message but slightly altered and insert “So, if you ever need help with your fish, let me know.”

MY FISH? I DON’T HAVE ANY FRICKING FISH.

What is wrong with this guy? He’s calling two separate girls. He probably doesn’t even remember what I look like. The thing is, he seemed relatively sober when we met, was totally together, sexy and smart. Now I can clearly see that he’s an alcoholic or something. Or is he just a complete idiot?

The next morning I call him back.

“Hi, Engineer, it’s Alaina.”

We are actually talking. For the first time since the night we met at a bar three weeks beforehand.

“So…you called me twice last night.”

“Oh, I totally don’t remember.”

“You said you’d help me with my fish. I don’t have any fish.”

“Well, I totally don’t remember.”

Random chit chat ensues and I hang up the phone completely mystified as to why and how I could have ever thought this guy was dateable. He proceeds to text me that night and then call me on Monday, I sent it to voicemail and this time he didn’t leave a message. And I’m not calling him back.

Moral: Guys – if you’re asking us out for the first time – call us! (we think texting constantly is creepy and cowardly); Ladies, respect yourself enough not to let them get away with it.

Had to finish this story before I could write about the weekend with the Dane.

[Photo caption: Lamborghini iPhone]

He texted me again! WTF?

mssinglemama — Tue, 13 May 2008 16:03:53 +0000

Last night I was running around cleaning like crazy. (I have a house guest coming, a very handsome house guest from Denmark and also one of the sweetest men I’ve ever known). So I’m bustling around cleaning as much as I can because Benjamin was at his father’s.

Then I hear it. Beeeupp.

The text beep.

Hmmm…could it be the bar guy texting me again?

Yep. I have completely written him off twice now. The first time for just letting my last text go unanswered and the second time when he asked me out a few days later via text…

And tonight the poor guy tried again:

Text Case #3

His Text: How was your weekend?

My Text: Lovely. Yours?

No response. And then three hours later.

His Text: Lovely also. I’m bad at text messages. My response time is about two days.

Yes, I’m thinking – you’re really bad at texting and even worse at asking a girl out.

My Text: I hate texting too. Next time call me.

If and when he does call I can’t help but think it will be incredibly awkward. We met over a week ago, just a fun encounter at a bar. You know the drill. Not even interested. (Purple Octopuses). To get me, albeit that he’s an adorable engineer, he’d have to knock my front door down or something.

For Text Case #1 and #2 click here.