My phone has been on fire for weeks now.

The culprits? A number of men, some of whom I really want to hear from and the others… well, I think they definitely have me in one of those “fish nets.” They cast a text out to a several women they’ve gathered numbers for over time and then wait for someone to bite on the bait.

I heard this “fish net” texting term from a gorgeous man I met recently who is wise in the ways of flirty texts. “My buddy actually purges his phone book once a month. He deletes the women who haven’t responded.”

I’d heard about mass texting before but didn’t know there was a name for it or that there was a science to it. Anyhow, I think I’m in two men’s nets right now and it’s really starting to annoy me. So I must vent.

Man #1: An engineer in his 20′s. We met at a bar while playing pool, over two months ago. Haven’t seen him since.

You may remember him, and yes, he’s still around … well I should say, he was around (I hope). After several more texts and two more back to back drunk dial phone calls I sent him this text:

I really appreciate my sleep. Please take my number out of your phone.

Haven’t heard from him since, but that was only a few days ago. I can only hope he deleted me.

Man #2: A single dad, in his late 30′s. We met at a poker game over one month ago. Again, haven’t seen him since.

He has been texting me every night for two weeks now. He may take a few nights off, but – sheesh – poor guy needs to get a clue.

Here’s a sampler of what he sends me:

July 24, 7:45pm

Would you like any company 2nite?

July 24, 9:33pm (same night)

Would you like any company 2nite? … I will be at the (bar) playing tx hold on (x) ave.

He almost got me here. I love poker so much I would play with, well – with anyone who had a deck of cards and some chips.

July 26, 10:47pm

I have a new btl of win. call me if interestd.

July 28, 6:41pm

I have a glass of wine, want 2 join me for a glass?

Ummm. Fellas, if you want to catch a fish, don’t light up her phone with text messages like these. Give me a reason. Ask me how I’m doing. Tell me a funny joke. Throw some variety out there. Stick out from the crowd. And DO NOT make sexual jokes unless you’ve at least established a relationship with us already. Or, man up and pick up the phone

Here’s and example of the perfect flirty text exchange – romantic and sweet:

Me: We should have pizza and wine at my place.

Him: I know it’s not a summer wine but do you like Cabernets? I know a good one that goes with pizza. Otherwise I have a good backup white.

Me: Sounds perfect! Should I grab the pizza?

Him: I can grab it. Let’s give you a well-deserved effortless night.

Wow. Now, that got my attention and scored him some major points.

Related posts:

1. Dear Single Men:
2. He texted me again! WTF?
3. Via Text: Wanna Go Out?