by mssinglemama on March 16, 2010
In the last few days, I have received hundreds and hundreds of e-mails, comments, tweets, Facebook notes. All of you sending me off with the kindest words and thoughts…
Reading your stories, how far you have come or how you are just beginning in your journeys – whatever they may be – has left me a bit speechless. What do I say? What words can I offer up that at all let you know how I feel about each and every one of you? There aren’t any.
But there are your words…
I decided to publish this letter in particular because I think it captures, in so many ways, the reason why I blogged for all of these years. We are all really, truly on an path that is intertwined. You know that, right? This letter makes the case. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on March 12, 2010
Introducing Him to the Kids
I know it’s been a while since I’ve offered up a around of single mom dating tips, but here is a fresh batch. The subject? Introducing or not introducing men to your children.
First, a few real-life single mom dating experiences. In both cases, each single mom did what she felt was right at the time. We can’t hold them responsible or judge them for their actions. We are all learning as we go… dating as a single mom is by far the hardest and most misunderstood experience mothers can have. But we can learn from each other.
Single Mom Dating Scenario 1
She bides her time, listens to her ultra-protectionist mama gut and waits 9 months to introduce the man she’s dating to her toddler. She introduces him only after she’s certain they’ll be together forever and have fallen completely and totally in love. Did her patience pay off?
At first, yes. Everything is going so well that they all move in together three months after the introductions. Four weeks later her boyfriend, likely caving under the stress of what I’ll call Sudden Toddler Exposure, jets. He leaves. Completely and totally leaves and she hasn’t heard from him since.
Single Mom Dating Scenario 2
She doesn’t wait. Knowing instantly that he is the one. She brings the man into their lives, introduces him to her 6-year-old and then – because he lives out of town – allows him to practically (but not really) move in. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on February 24, 2010
“Mommy.”
“Yeah, Benjamin.”
“You have a tattoo on your butt. That’s funny. Ha. Ha. So funny.”
“Well, it’s not really on my butt.”
“Yes, yes it is Mommy! Look!”
“Okay, that’s enough, keep your hands off of me.”
——–
“Mommy.”
“Yeah, what’s up Benjamin?”
“I want to lift your car off the ground tomorrow morning. Before I go to school.”
“Okay, you can try.”
“No, I’m not going to try – I am going to lift your car.”
“Okay, Sweetie. But first go to sleep. In the morning you can try.”
“Not try Mommy!”
“Alright, alright – you will lift my car tomorrow morning. Now GO TO BED.”
——-
“Mama?”
“Yeah.”
“Is John Bear coming over later.”
“Yeah, he is. Probably in about 30 minutes.”
“Is he coming over forever, Mommy? Like, forever, like he’s never going to leave?”
“I don’t know, Honey. Hey – let’s go upstairs and play before he gets here?”
“Okay. Sure. Hey, good idea Mommy, that’s a really good idea.”
——-
“Mommy, I hate school.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I hate school.”
“Do you know what hate means?”
“No.”
“Do you like school?”
“Yeah, I like school.”
“Cool.”
by mssinglemama on February 21, 2010
When I met John Bear I didn’t have non-stop butterflies jumping around in my stomach.
I didn’t ache or pine for him.
I didn’t daydream about him, waiting for him to call.
Instead, I felt like a level-headed woman, slowly falling for someone who swept me away with his generosity, kind spirit, sweet surprises and constant mantra, “I’m not going anywhere.”
And he didn’t go anywhere. Not then.
Not even then.
And not now.
And I don’t think that’s going to change anytime soon. We are completely and utterly into each other, but in a new kind of way (for both of us).
Earlier this weekend a single mom girlfriend of mine was telling me about a recent nice guy she’s dating who pampers her with dinners, gifts, nice words and kind actions but there’s something missing.
“I just don’t feel the butterflies,” she said.
And while this guy may not be a keeper, I still had to slap down some advice in hopes of breaking her in for a future of dating only nice guys, or as I like to call them – real men. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on February 13, 2010
On Friday, after an incredibly successful photo shoot for Cement Marketing client, Lifeline of Ohio, Morgan and I met up Jen K for a night out.
I think this picture speaks more than 1,000 words.
The three of us were so happy and excited to be hanging out that people nearby asked us what we were celebrating.
Friendship.
That’s what.
I don’t know where I would be without the friendships I have formed because of this blog and the virtual ties it has afforded me. Being single moms, it’s hard to meet new people because our free time is filled with kid-time. What do you think? Is finding new friends easy for you or tough?
How do you let your guard down to trust? Is there hope for us 30+ year olds who don’t yet have a tight niche of friends to form new ones?
P.S.
I start my 7 days of the 30 Day Shred tomorrow. Will let you know how it’s going. And yes, I’m nervous but pumped, too.
