“This isn’t working is it?”

“No, it’s not,” John answers.

Working together, in the same office, just two feet away from each other had been talking it’s toll on John and I’s relationship. My boyfriend had been replaced with a co-worker and we couldn’t break the two, draw the lines, separate work from play. Starting your own business is one thing but dragging your relationship into it is another thing entirely.

“Where’s John?” Brad asked during week two.

“I’m not sure. I think he’s at home today. This working together thing is killing us.”

“Really, why?”

“I don’t know.  It’s just killing our mojo.”

“Your mojo?”

“Yeah, you know – our mojo – everything is off. Everything.” And I didn’t know how to fix it. John wanted to stop working together immediately, to my protest.

“If we can’t make it work at work can we work together while raising a family? That’s work, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” John told me, “it is. But that’s different.”

I wasn’t sure whether or not I could buy into that school of thought. Newborns, diapers, sleep-deprivation, cleaning, coordinating schedules – work. Or not. I couldn’t be sure and then, after a few more weeks of working in separate spaces, things fell back into place. Our relationship felt more like our relationship again and I realized that he was right.

Choosing not to work together was a pre-emptive move to prevent an all out assault on our relationship. But, it did not mean we were incompatible. So, with me as his ultimate cheer leader, John started looking for another job and within two weeks he had two offers. He chose an absolutely awesome SEO company where he’ll have his hands in all kinds of fun strategy stuff – the perfect fit.

This first year, our first year, has been intense. Our careers have both been shifting on a micro level along with the entire marketing and advertising industry at this dawn of new media. Now we’ve both landed and can finally just sit back and have a toast to riding the wave and surviving.

To celebrate and because we’re long overdue for a little trip, John and I are taking off for a beach on Tybee Island near Savannah. We weighed the pros and cons of bringing Benjamin along but I vetoed and insisted we go alone. This will be our second full week alone in the year we’ve been together. We need this time. For ourselves, yes, but largely for Benjamin. Adult alone time is essential, I believe, to feeding a relationship and therefore to creating a happy family.

And we’re starving.

Stay tuned for random vacation pics and posts over this week.

——

And some notes on work…

All is going incredibly well with Cement Marketing. Remember Lifeline of Ohio? My first client? Check out their new website – designed, developed and created by Cement Marketing. Sweet. And if you can make it – meet me on Sunday when I get back from vacation at the State House for their candle light vigil.

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I’m not sure where this little vacation will take us.

But our much needed reprieve from life will be just in time to catch the Joshua trees blooming.

Spring hits early there.

The Joshua Tree National Park lies directly in the path of two merging deserts. One more lush and green, where the Joshua trees grow, and the other dry and filled with cactus and shrubs.

The past and the future.

Lately mine have been going at it. My past will always be a part of who I am, as it is for all of us, but it needs to move into the back seat and let the future drive. I’m not sure why – maybe because I’m about to turn 30 or maybe because I’m just ready – but I have an overwhelming feeling that something is brewing, something big.

But first, my future has to beat the shit out of my past.

I’m hoping it leaves all of those shattered pieces in that desert.

P.S.

I am completely prepared for this flight, thanks to you. We’ve got wrapped present surprises, books, flash cards, movies, a spare outfit, a car seat, a stroller and tons of sugar-free treats.

Not quite sure what I’d do without all of you.

And thanks again for cheering me on in my fight against the evil nicotine. I’m still winning. Cold turkey, baby, and I feel fantastic. Finally. 9 days later.

I’ll be back with tons of stories and pictures on Tuesday – 3/2. In the meantime, keep up with me on Twitter. I’ll be posting updates there. And if you’re bored as hell check out the Best of MSM with all of my favorite posts.

No related posts.

I am actually listed right under Dooce on Alltop’s list of the top mom bloggers.

Color me speechless. Dooce, Heather B. Armstrong, is my personal hero. So it’s very surreal to see my name next to hers. If you haven’t checked out Alltop yet - get over there. Could be just a random shuffling order fluke, but I’ll enjoy seeing my name next to hers while I can. Thanks Guy!

Some other exciting news... iHeartSingleParents.com has asked me to lead their Dating & Advice group (note, I’m a dating expert not a relationship expert. Ha!). And Loovya.com, a new online dating site, has asked me to be a feature blogger, check out my posts here.

I still have yet to make a penny off of this blog, largely because I’ve been too lazy to activate my membership with the BlogAd network, which a dear friend and fellow blogger sponsored me to join. I’m just too busy writing, being a mommy and working full-time to get that going but it is definitely on the horizon.

All of this excitement is thanks to you … so my dear readers, I have a little perk to pass your way.Loovya is offering 50 of you a 3 month membership to their site at no charge. Right now the site is free to everyone, but your free 3 months will be good even after they start charging the masses. There aren’t very many members yet, but take advantage of this anyway. Who knows? You might just meet someone. The site kicks ass too, it’s not your average dating site. Think Facebook meets Match. Very refreshing because that’s how it should be. To take advantage of their offer to my readers, click here to register and enter the promotion code “mssinglemama”. 

It’s my little thank you present, because without all of you I would be … well, that’s a scary thought so I just won’t go there. 

And this weekend I’m headed off to San Francisco for a little vacation. Two days of travel and two days of play with Morgan Siler from iHeartSingleParents.com and Jim Everson from DepotDad.com. I’m excited but also nervous as hell because I’m leaving Benjamin. I know … he’ll be fine. But outside of one  four day trip I took in March, we haven’t been apart since he was born 2.3 years ago.

During that mini vacation I missed him the entire time. So he may be fine but I don’t know if I will. I hate being away from him. I guess this weekend’s seperation will be a trial for the big seven day trip to Denmark in August.

When was your last vacation? Did you enjoy it or miss the kids the entire time? Have you even had one?

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My mom has had Benjamin since Tuesday morning (his dad dropped him at her house after their Monday night sleepover). She’d been dying to see him and begged me to hand him over for a night. I did, gladly. “Take him. He’s been driving me nuts!”

Now she’s offering to take him for the rest of the week, “You need a break. You do. And that’s what grandmother’s are for, right?”

So at this point (Wednesday morning) … I’m still all for it.

I do need a bit of a break. Benjamin has been in full blown terrible two mode for weeks now, and it’s been tough – really tough. I’ve reached my breaking point way too many times. If she can really make it until Friday, it could be good for both of us.

But I’m not sure if I can make it until Friday. Major Benjamin withdrawal could set in. But I feel like I have to allow myself a guilt-free week of fun dinners out with friends, shopping and sleeping – lots of sleeping.

UPDATE - It’s now Wednesday night, about to leave work and I’m still sitting in my office. I miss him. Half tempted to jump in the car and go get my little guy. Sigh. Not sure if I can do this. But mom called and he’s still having a blast.

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