Single Mom | Single Mom Blog | Ms. Single Mama » single mom love

Romance vs. Love: What’s the difference?

mssinglemama — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 17:04:11 +0000

I always pick books up, read a chapter or two, set them down for weeks and then pick them back up later to read a few more. If you recall a few posts back I recommended Gloria Steinem’s Revolution from Within. And as usual, I then didn’t finish it… but a few nights ago I started reading it again and flipped directly to the chapter titled Romance versus Love. I’ve attempted to write about the difference here and here – and it’s been a running theme on this blog. The big questions being – what is love, what does love mean to us as single moms, as single women and why do we always seem to choose the wrong men? Had I found this book then, I would have found that Steinem has already sorted it all out for us.

I wanted to share some of her thoughts, as I found them completely awesome.

It’s not easy to generalize about love. Like each person who feels its invisible filaments stretching to another person, it is unique in each instance. Unlike romance, whose plots are uniform enough to be conveyed by shorthand – “if-I-can’t-have-you-no-one-will,” “transitional affair,” “middle-aged crazy,” “the other woman,” “wartime romance,” and so on – love has no standard storyline and no agenda except to deepen the joys and cushion the blows of very individual lives. As Robin Morgan sums up in The Anatomy of Freedom, “Hate generalizes, love specifies.” And romance generalizes, too. When we look for a missing part of ourselves in other people, we blog out their uniqueness. Since most of us have been deprived along gender lines, we generalize about the “opposite sex”, thus rendering it a blank screen on which we project our hopes (in romance) or our fears (in hate). No wonder romane turns so easily to hate, and vice versa.

Steinem continues to write that, as described by those who experience them, the characteristics of love are remarkably similar to the marks of high self-esteem. You’ll have to pick up the book to read the details of each, but here are the characteristics of love:

1. Each partner feels loved for an authentic self. You have to discover the independent part of yourself first, before you can love another.

2. Each one knows she or he could get along without the other – but doesn’t wish to. Free choice is essential to love. We can’t say yes to anyone unless we can also say no.

3. There is plenty of room for playfulness, lightness, and humor. When two realities bump up against each other in intimacy, romance views the contradictions with anger or disillusionment, but love acknowledges them with humor. Romance is inflexible because it tries to predict and control, while love is open-handed and can improvise.

4. Each partner feels empathy for each other. You feel each other’s pain and joy.

5. Love is not about power. Romance is a means to the end of self-completion, but love is an end in itself. Or, as Margaret Anderson put it, “In real love, you want the other person’s good. In romantic love you want the other person.” If we love someone, we want them to continue being the essence of themselves. If so, then we can’t absorb or change them.

And then this, she adds, “All of this sounds like common sense – but unfortunately, it isn’t common. There are many more people trying to meet the right person than to become the right person.”

You can buy the book here. Do it and we can intermittently read along together. Love you, mamas!

Single Mom Question: Why can’t I commit?

mssinglemama — Wed, 25 May 2011 11:02:07 +0000

I promised you a series devoted to your questions about being a dating single mom. And here is the first. This one is from April.

“I am so happy being a single mom that I find it hard to settle into a relationship.”

“I have been divorced for five years now and a single mother to two little girls. I have dated off and on during the past five years, but I find the longest I can maintain a relationship is around 2 months and then I start to lose the excitement, feel smothered and just keep thinking of how much happier I am with it just being me and my girls. There is nothing more liberating then knowing that you are on your own and can take care of yourself.

I was married for 9 years and was totally in love with my ex husband, but he cheated and that is why our relationship ended. I have healed and moved on and we have been able to maintain a friendly relationship for our girls. So, I don’t feel that it is if I am not over him, but I can’t find that spark that I had with him. I feel content with my single life. I do have thoughts from time to time of wishing that I could find prince charming again, but it just seems so much easier and less stressful to go it alone raising my girls. Is this normal? Does anybody else feel this way?”

My short answer.

I can relate. I think just about every single mom I’ve met has commitment issues. Why? I think there are a few reasons.

1). Because we have discovered that we can live happily ever after solo.

2). We haven’t found that “spark” and are holding out of that same fire we felt before.

3). Even though we may feel “over” a traumatic experience like losing a husband of nine years to cheating, there is still hurt there. We have found happiness and it seems so scary to risk ever feeling that hurt again.

So, yes, April – this is normal. What should you do about it? Keep dating. Because it’s fun! But from here on out don’t let the relationships make it to two months, eliminate them faster to make room for some of that spark.

What are your thoughts? Please comment and help April out. Do you find you have fears or commitment issues? And there is nothing wrong with just being a happy, solo single mom. Don’t ever force a relationship just because you think you “should have one.”

If you have a question of your own please e-mail it to me with the subject line: “Single Mom Question” to mssinglemama-at-gmail-dot-com.

Ms. Published Mama? Pinch me, now.

mssinglemama — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 02:18:06 +0000

Something has happened again. Something I was not expecting in the least.

You all know about our soon to be brilliant and dare I say, ground breaking, Single Mom’s Manifesto.

I’m working on my first entry, assembling the mailing list and also am trying to figure out a way to make sure my return address is always, always on the envelope just in case one of the three books ends up at an address one of you have moved from. The Manifesto could be out in snail mail land for 6 months, so if you are planning on moving – please, let me know so I can send it to your first or remove you from the list.

So, back to the unexpected.

After I bought the Manifesto notebooks I noticed this blog post featuring a new, local publishing group. I don’t believe in coincidences and as many of you suggested, the Manifesto would be brilliant published. Like a Post Secret for single moms. Anyway, I reached out to James and Lori and we set up a meeting. When I arrived they agreed that the Manifesto could indeed be a success but they’d been reading my blog and impressed with what they found, they were curious– could they read a copy of my eBook?

Most of you don’t know this but my eBook, Ms. Single Mama Uncensored, is a bit of a sore subject for me.

After spending six straight weeks writing Uncensored–very few of you actually bought and downloaded a copy. To date, I’ve only sold around 300 copies. But, I’ve sold three times as many necklaces. Go figure. My mamas like things in the flesh, including their books. I can’t say that I blame you. I don’t have a Kindle or an iPad. After a day online the last thing I want to do is read online. In fact, one of my favorite things in life is curling up in bed with a new book.

But rather than shopping the book to a publisher, in spite of John Bear urging me to, I buried it along with the 6 weeks I’d lost into my Lesson Learned closet.

But now, here were publishers wanting to read a copy.

“My eBook?” I said, surprised. “Sure, why not?”

I gave them a download and went my merry way.

Less than 24 hours later, they e-mailed asking for another meeting. As soon as I arrived James, a 28-year-old single guy, told me, “I started your book and by page 30 I was hooked. I couldn’t put it down until I finished it and I can’t say that about very many books. And I’m clearly not a single mom.”

Lori said the same. She also couldn’t put it down and read it in one sitting.

This was a first.

I have read compliments on Uncensored from many of you, but to hear it from two live people sitting in the flesh before me, neither of them single mothers… well, you can imagine my face. My mouth was hanging open a bit, my cheeks were flushed and I didn’t know if should believe them or poke them to see if they were real. They couldn’t want to…

“We want to publish your book,” said Lori.

“And we think,” said James, “that it is going to be very, very well-received.”

Their enthusiasm was hard to deny and the book, thanks to my six weeks last summer, is very nearly ready to be published.

“This book,” added Lori, “fills a need. There aren’t many voices like yours out there.” We went back and forth for about 45 minutes. Me with lots of question and Lori and James answering them all without wavering in their conviction that my eBook would and could be a success.

“Okay, let me digest all of this and I’ll have to talk to John Bear.”

“Take your time,” they said. And so the discussing began.

——-

After several talks, largely centered around John’s chief concern–our family’s privacy, namely the privacy of our children (existing and imaginary future children)–we decided that yes, we should publish the book. As for privacy, the title of my eBook, Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, is going to change to something that will be suitable on our living room book shelf and as for the content, it’s nothing I wouldn’t let my daughter read as soon as she hit her dating age.

So…

by this Christmas you should all be able to buy my book.

Woah.

I can’t even say that last sentence out loud.

Love, true and sure.

mssinglemama — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 16:18:53 +0000

When you’re house shopping together and have verbally committed to marriage and creating a forever together, popping the question and actually surprising one Ms. Single Mama is not an easy feat.

On Thursday, the night before we were going to drive Benjamin down to Athens and then spend the day working from coffee shops and golfing I asked, “Why are we going to Athens anyway?”

“I don’t know.” He said.”Why?”

His impending proposal had become a bit of a game between us.

Me trying to figure out how he would do it and John trying to avoid all conversations around the subject. On occasion I felt a bit guilty and tried to imagine being in his shoes, trying to surprise a woman with such a question – not even to mention actually asking her. But, inevitably, the girl inside me always trumped rational thought and I tried to hatch his plan.

“No reason,” I answered, “Just wondering.” But he could tell that I was on to him.

On Friday afternoon, after we’d dropped Benjamin off at his father’s we headed uptown for lunch. I had completely forgotten about the potential proposal, at mercy to my growling stomach. John found a parking spot in front of Casa Nueva and O’ Betty’s on one of Athens’ brick-lined streets. The same streets he and I had crossed countless times as Ohio University students while missing each other for years before finally meeting in Columbus. These streets and this town mean so much to both of us. But John wasn’t thinking about the streets or the town, he was thinking about pulling off a surprise.

And he did.

As I was gathering up my purse to get out of the car he leaned over, locked his eyes on mine and said, “I was wondering if you were in the market for a hairy, Irish husband?”

“You’re doing it in the car?” I screeched.

Then he pulled out a ring box and opened it with a snap that sent the ring on a spiral, deep down underneath the car seat.

“It’s under the seat!” I said.

“Oh my God. You’re kidding me,” John said as he plunged his arm underneath, searching for the ring. He found it a few seconds later and then between laughs and tears and kisses, I said “Yes.”

Without a doubt. Yes.

Yes to the man of my dreams who I never expected to find.

Yes to a man who is also my best and dearest friend, my confidant and the person who I trust with everything.

Yes to the man who my son has also completely fallen in love with.

Yes to love.

And to the sweetest man on Earth. I love you my John Bear.

[P.S. If you want to check out the ring - it's ridiculously beautiful and custom designed locally by Worthington Jewelers, see it here.]

Read the beginning, how John Bear and I met here.

Single Mom Dating Tips, Part 5

mssinglemama — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 16:47:55 +0000

Introducing Him to the Kids

I know it’s been a while since I’ve offered up a around of single mom dating tips, but here is a fresh batch. The subject? Introducing or not introducing men to your children.

First, a few real-life single mom dating experiences. In both cases, each single mom did what she felt was right at the time. We can’t hold them responsible or judge them for their actions. We are all learning as we go… dating as a single mom is by far the hardest and most misunderstood experience mothers can have. But we can learn from each other.

Single Mom Dating Scenario 1

She bides her time, listens to her ultra-protectionist mama gut and waits 9 months to introduce the man she’s dating to her toddler. She introduces him only after she’s certain they’ll be together forever and have fallen completely and totally in love. Did her patience pay off?

At first, yes. Everything is going so well that they all move in together three months after the introductions. Four weeks later her boyfriend, likely caving under the stress of what I’ll call Sudden Toddler Exposure, jets. He leaves. Completely and totally leaves and she hasn’t heard from him since.

Single Mom Dating Scenario 2

She doesn’t wait. Knowing instantly that he is the one. She brings the man into their lives, introduces him to her 6-year-old and then – because he lives out of town – allows him to practically (but not really) move in.

Things are going very well, they’re both living in the La La Land of Love and then – boom – something doesn’t feel right. They are fighting constantly (the child is seeing the fights) and it all ends a few weeks later in a nasty break-up.

To avoid the above Single Mom Dating Scenarios…

1. If you are seriously interested in a man it is completely fine to introduce him to the kids.

Guess what? Your kids are – like 50% of their friends – from a two parent household, or a one parent household. But still, this is a new day and age. Being tied up or hung up on putting your kid in a therapy chair could cause them more harm than good.

And besides, do you really know a man if you can’t gauge his behavior and interaction with your children. This is something us moms can read in just a few hours at the park or ice cream parlor. No need for moving him in or inviting him over for dinner every night. Just slowly introduce them. One outing a week to ease them in and then slowly increase exposure.

BUT.

Do not move too fast. At all. Take your time.

John and I have been dating for 10 months but even when he does come over – it’s just before Benjamin’s bed time and when Benjamin wakes up in the morning – he’s gone, having woken up between 5:00am – 6:00am to get out of the house. This is something John does on his own. He never complains or whines. He just does it. I can tell you, it’s very helpful to be with a man who puts Benjamin first – always. Helps to keep me in line as well, because I’m definitely not as strong as I seem.

2. Ease him into father-like responsibilities.

I learned this the hard way with Kris. But, to my advantage, now remember that lesson every day with John. If you are dating a single dad I’m sure it’s a different story, but with a childless guy you have to keep your boundaries. Even 10 months in. John is incredibly helpful but he has yet to experience the real routine of my single mom life, every day, all day, over and over again from breakfast to dinner.

Why? Why not expose him to that? Because 1) it’s not his responsibility 2) we need this time to grow our relationship and build a foundation 3) it’s too much pressure to throw someone immediately into fatherhood, remember we had nine months to get used to the idea + the age of our child/children. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ve surely caught on and played witness to my slip ups on this and then re-centering. But, all in all, I think we are moving at just the right pace for all of us.

3. Escape from the kids (whenever humanly possible).

John and I have every other weekend alone. Usually I hide away in his apartment and lounge on his couch, eating fudge pops and watching TV. We do leave to go out with friends, dinner or for a quick shopping trip. But it’s so nice to just do next to nothing and enjoy each other. The routine sets me back on house cleaning and I play catch up all week, but it’s worth every minute. I want to give him that… just me, sans Benjamin.

This weekend we’re taking off for Ann Arbor to visit my great uncle and my great aunt. My great uncle’s sister, my grandmother was also a single mom. But in the 1950′s. Can you imagine? She raised four boys with the help of her World War 1 widowed mother and never re-married.

Although, the story goes – that she used to go ball room dancing every weekend…

4. Don’t forget about YOU.

This is the hardest one for me. Between my quickly growing search engine optimization and social marketing firm, my son and my boyfriend there is little time for me to just be. So I force myself to go for walks at lunch. I say no “a lot.” And I LOVE my work, so that helps. Being at work, working on what I love counts as being good to myself (on most days). Right?

The point is that you have to manage your stress. Good luck with that one (I know it’s the hardest).

>>> Read all of my past Single Mom Dating Tips posts for more.

>>> Check out also all of these dating sites

The Must-Have Man List

mssinglemama — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 13:20:51 +0000

Do you know what you would want from a man if he popped into your life (not what you need, but what you want)?

Here’s a starter list of some man qualities I think are mandatory before he can be single mom worthy:

1. Respect for you and the kids.

2. He should like you (a little bit) more than you like him. You should be fawned over because you don’t have time for the other way around. Soon it will balance out. But, at the beginning, you should be chased.

3. He accepts your past. I, as a single mom, have yet to make it far enough with someone who questioned my past or held it against me. I am almost certain I can pick these types of guys out from a line-up, so maybe that’s why. Regardless of how jerkdar accuaracy, avoid them like the plague. Bcause soon, they’ll be bringing up your past – the past the two of you share. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

4. He’s a role model. No drugs. No cheating. No jerk behavior. No abuse. And, an obvious one, but something to just put out there in black and white – would you be okay if your children grew up to be just like him?

5. He must respect the “kid thing”. If he gripes for a second about the kid, or battles for their attention then – sorry! - he’s not the one. There’s a difference, by the way, between legitimate concern over not enough one-on-one adult time and what I call griping. Use this as a measure – if he sounds at all like he’s whining or if he’s using it against you – there’s your answer.

6. He must accept you and your space. It’s no secret that most of us single moms have commitment issues. At least I do. He should be respectful of your issues, as troublesome as they are. But respecting and accepting them and your space will lead to open communication, trust on your part and, hopefully, a happy baggage-free ending.

7. Laziness is not an option. If he has a lazy side and shows consistent efforts to be more helpful and active over time, then make an exception. But I wouldn’t recommend a guy hooked on video games or attached to the television set.

8. Kindness is mandatory. He should never raise his voice, yell or scream. Guess what? The way your ex treated you was not normal, it was not okay and there are a million guys out there who will treat you with love and respect – like an adult. Go figure. I know. News to me too.

9. He wants you to be happy. If you’re happy, he’s happy. In life, in love, at home, at work. And you should feel the same way about his happiness.

10. He talks about the future. You’re a single mom. If you want a future with him, say it. If he avoids the conversation or is at all evasive – red flag. Move on and carry on. That’s not to say a future commitment can scare him a bit, that’s okay. But if he never talks about a future with you, generally speaking, that’s not a good sign.

I hope this helps. I just feel like I can see things so much clearer now that I’ve found a good one, and I want – as usual – to leave you with what I’ve learned.

Add or refute my list in the comments.

Back up reading:

Single Mom and the Men Who Love Us
How to Date a Single Mom (the series)

A messy business

mssinglemama — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 03:22:58 +0000

“Are those poop bags in your pockets again?” I see the top of a bright blue plastic bag sticking out of his shorts.

“I always come prepared,” he says. Always is right. John Bear is seldom without a poop bag or two sticking out of his cargo short pockets. I’m always telling him to stick them back in while teasing him profusely for being such a dork. “Stop laughing,” he adds, “one day I’ll have our kid’s diapers stuffed in here.”

Gulp.

Visions of three more years of diapers are flashing through my mind and I give him one of my looks.

“What? No? Is that a bad thing?” He asks.

“No,” I relax my eyebrows and smile, “It’s fine. Really fine actually.”

My thoughts don’t even venture where they typically would with the typical men of my past. Instead they stay safely seated in the upright position, ready and willing to believe that happiness does not necessarily have an expiration date.

But that doesn’t mean there won’t be a ton of shit to clean up along the way.

—-

We went to a Browns game this weekend for Fiesta Movement Mission #5. Pictures will be posted as soon as I get some sleep and just a little bit of time.

xoxo

No related posts.

Hindsight

mssinglemama — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:12:02 +0000

“If everything works out with John, Benjamin won’t know a time when he wasn’t around.”

As my therapist’s words sink in the last three years of my life flash through my mind; from the beginning when I packed everything up and moved into my mother’s, to the quiet nights at her house in the woods wondering and wishing myself away and back to some semblance of independence and then to the moment when Benjamin and I stepped into our own sweet, little apartment – ready to begin our new life.

What followed is all here, on this blog in my eBook, or safe in my mind.

I sit on her couch, staring off into a painting on the wall as I try to grasp this idea of him not remembering anything before John Bear. The memories wash over me – the adventures big and small – like the time we were yelled at by a hair salon owner or the countless grocery store trips that typically ended in knock down drag out tantrums. Then there were the big adventures like trips to find Joshua Trees

or deep forests and mountain coves in Vancouver.

And smaller adventures like hours of puddle jumping for no reason

or sweating it out on a hot summer day in August to hear our future president, a man also raised by a single mom, speak to us from about twenty feet away.

or chasing bunnies with Sydney.

Now, looking back, it is these moments – the moments when I forced myself out of the house with him, braving the book store, the library, the festivals, the camping trips and the road trips all by myself, trying to fill the time – that are the best memories I have of the two of us.

Memories of the moments when we both forgot where we were or when we just took our time

because we didn’t have anywhere else to be.

“So they’ll all be gone? He won’t remember a thing?” I ask my therapist or, as I fondly call her, Wonder Woman. She’s helping me to straighten out my trust issues and to figure out why, in the past, I had a pattern of choosing bad boys dysfunctional men.

“The emotions we all feel before the age of three are imprinted on our minds forever, but the actual memories are harder to keep so, no, he probably won’t remember any time that John wasn’t there. To Benjamin, he will have always been around.”

I am trying to see it as I typically would, to draw a clear line – a before and after, a then and now – but to me, meeting John and almost sensing that he was about to surface, was all part of one big transition for both Benjamin and I. Bringing John and Murphy into our lives is another family adventure but this time, we’re playing for keeps and we’re both falling.

Fortunately John is right there with us, helping us paddle the boat and proving his love through his actions over and over again. And even though part of me used to identify myself with being single, the fact is that, single or not I am still me and Benjamin is still Benjamin.

We’re just being introduced to some new things

and I am seeing expressions on his face and witnessing feelings I didn’t know he had in him

They seem so obvious now. A game, cracker jacks, a helmet filled with ice cream.

Love from a man who knows how to love.

“That’s okay,” I tell Wonder Woman, “I am happy and Benjamin is happy, that’s exactly what I’ve wanted all along. We’re just growing, making room for even more love – it doesn’t replace the love that already existed.” But that doesn’t mean I won’t be sneaking Benjamin off for a few more solo adventures or two.

In fact, I’ve been savoring our moments alone even more now. Not that we don’t like having John Bear around – we adore him (and so does Wonder Woman, by the way) – but this entire experience, of growing your heart and your family at the same time is something you need to take slowly. And while things have been speeding up as of late, while there is more and more talk of what is coming and as magnificent as it all sounds, it’s not perfect. Nothing is ever perfect. But, I can tell you, it’s a hell of a lot easier when you have a good, strong man there to catch you – a man who you know would never do or say anything to hurt you.

As for the imperfections, there are all kinds of things coming into play. My ex, for example, is becoming more and more agitated by Benjamin’s affectionate talk of this “John Bear.” We are also trying to learn how to co-parent… all other stories for another day, but for now I have a prize to give away.

[UPDATE: Just added photos from the baseball game to the bottom of my Recently Photo Album]

Single Mom Adventure Prize Pack

I don’t know why but I keep getting contacted by companies offering prizes too good to resist… maybe they’ll slow up soon enough but until then, let’s all have some fun and ride the contest wave, shall we? This one is particularly awesome…

Prize #1: A Shutterfly Photo Book

I spent most of this afternoon sorting through old pictures of Benjamin. I’m collecting them all to add to my set of Shutterfly photo books. The company contacted me asking if I’d be interested in some free samples (full disclosure). I said, “Sure, but only if my readers can have some too.” And guess what? They did. I have a few copies to give away!

I don’t know about you but I’m in love with photo print books because the pictures aren’t going to fade, get lost, separated from the album, etc. And Shutterfly books are surprising affordable and they have a big sale going on right now too. (They didn’t tell me to say that, by the way. No one ever tells me to say anything about their product because if they did I’d tell to go bug off).

Prize #2: A copy of Sole Mate by Lauren Mackler

I was reading Sole Mate: Mastering the Art of Aloneness when I met John. The author, a single mother, who had to move back to the U.S. from Europe with her two grown children after her marriage fell apart, is truly inspiring. I love this book and highly recommend it to everyone, even those of us in happy relationships.

How to enter:

The contest is open until Monday, September 14th. Just leave a comment telling me about one of your favorite adventures as a single mom and consider yourself entered.

Whispers

mssinglemama — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 03:44:28 +0000

My Secrets are Out…

Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love is here. But first a few words from my delirious haze. I am hoping they make sense…

Before I started writing this blog the whispers in my head, the words of strength from outside of myself were hard to come by. I only knew one or two fellow single moms and living at my mother’s for one year did a number on my social life. I was alone, utterly alone and it was uncomfortable.

I tried to find inspiration in other single mom books and while they were insightful on many levels, all fell short for me. I craved real, honest advice about dating and love. I didn’t know it then but I would soon fill that void myself and also become a voice for single mothers everywhere by shouting from the my little mountaintop: we are beautiful, we are strong and we are sexy as hell. And while this shit ain’t easy we don’t need a man to rescue us, we need to rescue ourselves.

I am not sure where those words came from. They started, I believe, as whispers in my own head or more like echoes. And then you all showed up. Your words and your thoughts inspired me to keep writing, to keep sharing my stories and your words, in turn, became the whispers in my head.

The most common e-mails I receive are from new single moms who have happened upon my site. Sometimes these e-mails come months after they’ve been here, others come after just a few days but they all say one thing, “You have changed how I see myself, you have helped me to become proud to be a single mother.” And then they always add, “And I’ve been searching through all of your archives, devouring each one and trying to find out more!”

I used to have the time to write each one back with a long, personal e-mail linking to old blog posts I knew would help them but now, there are so many, too many to answer and I hate that. I remember how I felt then, wanting someone to just tell me like it was – to lay it down straight. This eBook is for each and every one of you, for being here for so long and to those of you who are just joining us.

And from now on instead of hours of archive searching, all of my readers will now have my eBook, Ms. Single mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex & Love. New readers will use it catch up on everything they’ve missed. And for my long-time readers… this book, you’ll find, ties everything you read here together. There are so many stories I have kept from you – some because I just hadn’t gotten around to writing them and others because I just wasn’t ready.

But now here they are.

Enjoy.

The stories behind the blog.

Need to catch up on what you’ve missed? Or want to know the secrets and stories behind the blog?

Download your copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love for $14.95 and find out:

How Ms. Single Mama and her ex-husband met and fell in love
More about the allusive Biker, my first single mom romance
Read the story about my first single mom crush
What really happened with Mr. Man
Why my fling with Cabin Man was so short lived
Details on how to have a happy and healthy sex life as a single mom along with tips on dating including touchy issues like when to tell him about your single mom status and when to introduce him to the kids.

Click here to preview the first 10 pages or skip ahead and just buy the eBook.

Details: Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, 120 pages, PDF form. Click the add to cart button to purchase with any major credit card.

Blogger Affiliate Program – make money in your sleep

Become a Ms. Single Mama Uncensored affiliate and you’ll earn 30% back for every copy of the eBook you sell. Simply place banners and code on your website or blog and every time someone clicks that banner and purchases a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored you’ll receive 30% back that’s about $4.95 a copy. It’s SO easy. Click here to set up your affiliate account.

P.S. The reviews are already coming in - the first is from Amanda at Stack of Spines, “The eBook reads like a girlfriend sitting across from you having cocktails and gushing her hopes, dreams, fears, and heartaches.” Read her entire review here.

and if you’re a blogger, make 30% back for every copy you sell! Read about my super exciting affiliate program here.<— Find badges here too!

Special Thanks:

To John. The irony of this book for single mamas is that I’m not sure it would be here without him… he has been working right alongside me either by watching Benjamin, making me dinner or by designing all of the beautiful banners you see on the site. He’s also been putting up with my sleep deprived, cranky self for over one month now, which is no easy feat – believe me. I adore him for that and am proud to say this book has actually brought us even closer together. Reading it for the first time just yesterday, John told me when he was finished, “I can see now how all of these experiences you had needed to happen before we met.”

And the biggest thanks goes to the true hero of every story I write… my Benjamin.

Congratulations to the Winners:

The Ms. Single Mama Uncensored winners are –

Alexis
Rebecca M.
Ashlea
@BobbiJanay
@NancyJane17

[You have all been e-mailed with your special code for your free copy. Congratulations and thanks to everyone who entered!]

Big Tease

mssinglemama — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 16:07:30 +0000

I love teasing you, I do.

Here is a preview (and the entire Table of Contents) to Ms. Single Mama Uncensored. Come back on Thursday, July 30th to buy your copy and read the rest.

Stay tuned also for details on my affiliate program for bloggers and for the announcement of the lucky five of you who will win a copy. Still time to enter, just leave a comment here.

[I would insert something cheesy here about how much this little eBook means to me, but I am too tired. Just click on the preview link and check it out.]

xoxo

Ms. Single Mama