by mssinglemama on March 12, 2010
Introducing Him to the Kids
I know it’s been a while since I’ve offered up a around of single mom dating tips, but here is a fresh batch. The subject? Introducing or not introducing men to your children.
First, a few real-life single mom dating experiences. In both cases, each single mom did what she felt was right at the time. We can’t hold them responsible or judge them for their actions. We are all learning as we go… dating as a single mom is by far the hardest and most misunderstood experience mothers can have. But we can learn from each other.
Single Mom Dating Scenario 1
She bides her time, listens to her ultra-protectionist mama gut and waits 9 months to introduce the man she’s dating to her toddler. She introduces him only after she’s certain they’ll be together forever and have fallen completely and totally in love. Did her patience pay off?
At first, yes. Everything is going so well that they all move in together three months after the introductions. Four weeks later her boyfriend, likely caving under the stress of what I’ll call Sudden Toddler Exposure, jets. He leaves. Completely and totally leaves and she hasn’t heard from him since.
Single Mom Dating Scenario 2
She doesn’t wait. Knowing instantly that he is the one. She brings the man into their lives, introduces him to her 6-year-old and then – because he lives out of town – allows him to practically (but not really) move in. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on September 16, 2009
A word, if I may, about bikini wearing waitresses and other things that drive women nuts.
If you are ever dating a guy and said guy walks into a bar with waitresses wearing bikinis, or a strip joint or a Hooter’s and then let’s say you get a bit upset by this. Perhaps your ex-husband had a bad habit of going to these seedy places or maybe you just think he should be doing something better with his time, like sleeping with you. Bottom line – you’re upset.
Let’s say you fly off the handle, albeit not in a Jerry Springer style way – nothing that would genuinely freak him out or make him fear for his life – but let’s say you’re upset and the two of you have just started seeing each other. And then the guy drops you after you have told him to drop off the face of the Earth.
Do you feel bad?
Do you blame yourself for freaking out?
Do you say, “You know what I am overreacting. He just went to a bar with half naked women for an hour. What’s the big deal?”
First of all, I’m not a fan of these places. Never have been, never will be. In fact, I always told my friends and even ex-boyfriends that I thought all of it was disgusting and that any “real man” would be busy with a “real woman.” Righteous and awful of me to be so judgmental, I know, but in the end I got what I wanted because I didn’t settle.
All of that aside… there is one question you should be asking yourself when something like the above dating scenario plays out. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on September 13, 2009
“Are those poop bags in your pockets again?” I see the top of a bright blue plastic bag sticking out of his shorts.
“I always come prepared,” he says. Always is right. John Bear is seldom without a poop bag or two sticking out of his cargo short pockets. I’m always telling him to stick them back in while teasing him profusely for being such a dork. “Stop laughing,” he adds, “one day I’ll have our kid’s diapers stuffed in here.”
Gulp.
Visions of three more years of diapers are flashing through my mind and I give him one of my looks.
“What? No? Is that a bad thing?” He asks.
“No,” I relax my eyebrows and smile, “It’s fine. Really fine actually.”
My thoughts don’t even venture where they typically would with the typical men of my past. Instead they stay safely seated in the upright position, ready and willing to believe that happiness does not necessarily have an expiration date.
But that doesn’t mean there won’t be a ton of shit to clean up along the way.
—-
We went to a Browns game this weekend for Fiesta Movement Mission #5. Pictures will be posted as soon as I get some sleep and just a little bit of time.
xoxo
by mssinglemama on September 10, 2009
I would never compare men to dogs. Never.
Nope.
It’s just not my style.
I love my men.
Before I found John Bear many of you called me a man-hater. But now I’m a walking talking dog and man loving machine. Yesterday, inspired by your adventure stories, we hopped in the car and went to the dog park. Being a dog virgin I had no idea what to expect.
There were a lot of dogs. A lot of dogs. Running and jumping and slobbering everywhere.
But to my surprise there were also a lot of men.
I couldn’t be sure about the dogs but the men, based on their ring fingers, all appeared to be single. And for the first time, in a really, really long time, I didn’t even think about dating a one of them. I’m so taken, it’s ridiculous. Instead I picked up the phone and called Mia, “You’ve got to get to the dog park – there are single men EVERY WHERE.” [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on September 6, 2009
