Single Mom | Single Mom Blog | Ms. Single Mama » single mom book

Ms. Published Mama? Pinch me, now.

mssinglemama — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 02:18:06 +0000

Something has happened again. Something I was not expecting in the least.

You all know about our soon to be brilliant and dare I say, ground breaking, Single Mom’s Manifesto.

I’m working on my first entry, assembling the mailing list and also am trying to figure out a way to make sure my return address is always, always on the envelope just in case one of the three books ends up at an address one of you have moved from. The Manifesto could be out in snail mail land for 6 months, so if you are planning on moving – please, let me know so I can send it to your first or remove you from the list.

So, back to the unexpected.

After I bought the Manifesto notebooks I noticed this blog post featuring a new, local publishing group. I don’t believe in coincidences and as many of you suggested, the Manifesto would be brilliant published. Like a Post Secret for single moms. Anyway, I reached out to James and Lori and we set up a meeting. When I arrived they agreed that the Manifesto could indeed be a success but they’d been reading my blog and impressed with what they found, they were curious– could they read a copy of my eBook?

Most of you don’t know this but my eBook, Ms. Single Mama Uncensored, is a bit of a sore subject for me.

After spending six straight weeks writing Uncensored–very few of you actually bought and downloaded a copy. To date, I’ve only sold around 300 copies. But, I’ve sold three times as many necklaces. Go figure. My mamas like things in the flesh, including their books. I can’t say that I blame you. I don’t have a Kindle or an iPad. After a day online the last thing I want to do is read online. In fact, one of my favorite things in life is curling up in bed with a new book.

But rather than shopping the book to a publisher, in spite of John Bear urging me to, I buried it along with the 6 weeks I’d lost into my Lesson Learned closet.

But now, here were publishers wanting to read a copy.

“My eBook?” I said, surprised. “Sure, why not?”

I gave them a download and went my merry way.

Less than 24 hours later, they e-mailed asking for another meeting. As soon as I arrived James, a 28-year-old single guy, told me, “I started your book and by page 30 I was hooked. I couldn’t put it down until I finished it and I can’t say that about very many books. And I’m clearly not a single mom.”

Lori said the same. She also couldn’t put it down and read it in one sitting.

This was a first.

I have read compliments on Uncensored from many of you, but to hear it from two live people sitting in the flesh before me, neither of them single mothers… well, you can imagine my face. My mouth was hanging open a bit, my cheeks were flushed and I didn’t know if should believe them or poke them to see if they were real. They couldn’t want to…

“We want to publish your book,” said Lori.

“And we think,” said James, “that it is going to be very, very well-received.”

Their enthusiasm was hard to deny and the book, thanks to my six weeks last summer, is very nearly ready to be published.

“This book,” added Lori, “fills a need. There aren’t many voices like yours out there.” We went back and forth for about 45 minutes. Me with lots of question and Lori and James answering them all without wavering in their conviction that my eBook would and could be a success.

“Okay, let me digest all of this and I’ll have to talk to John Bear.”

“Take your time,” they said. And so the discussing began.

——-

After several talks, largely centered around John’s chief concern–our family’s privacy, namely the privacy of our children (existing and imaginary future children)–we decided that yes, we should publish the book. As for privacy, the title of my eBook, Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, is going to change to something that will be suitable on our living room book shelf and as for the content, it’s nothing I wouldn’t let my daughter read as soon as she hit her dating age.

So…

by this Christmas you should all be able to buy my book.

Woah.

I can’t even say that last sentence out loud.

Searching for a crystal ball

mssinglemama — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 23:04:32 +0000

I know I have some readers who are children of single moms.

You’ve said you’re here because I fill in holes, blanks from your childhood or at least, give you an idea of what your mother went through. A question for you–what if this was your mother’s blog? Would it be too much? Are there some things you’d rather not know?

I don’t hold much back, especially in my eBook. There is so much here and even more there detailing my dating and my relationships as a single mom. But there are also posts like this one and this one that I will definitely want him to read. So, I’m wondering–would this blog and everything that comes with be too much? Or would it answer questions for you?

I need honest, insightful and constructive thoughts. Not hatred. If you take issue with single motherhood and women who decide to move on with their lives in the way of dating–that is a discussion for another post, or maybe a Bill O’Reilly messageboard.

I am weighing a decision and your feedback will help me so much. Thanks in advance.

—–

P.S. The Single Mom Manifesto books (there will be several) have been created. I’ll share pictures and more details very soon. I can’t wait to set them free.

Single Mom Manifesto

mssinglemama — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 15:45:15 +0000

While basking in a few days off last week my mind went to wandering. Eventually I had a moment to sit and think about all of you and this blog, where it’s going and where it’s been; what it means to you and to me. I’ve been effectively avoiding the subject with myself, the subject of what to do with “Ms. Single Mama”, for months now. I dodge any hint of the topic in my head along with the high heels in my closet that I just can’t wear anymore. I am outgrowing my single ways and this blog but I’m not quite ready to let go.

When I started writing here I couldn’t find another place online or in the book store that I felt adequately described my life as a single mother–a working, career oriented, urban mom who definitely wanted an active dating life.

Soon, after writing and talking openly about single mom issues to acquaintances, strangers or work colleagues I noticed a trepidation, a quiet befell them when I brought up topics affecting my life. And then there were my encounters with other single mothers–I sensed the same quiet, was it a sense of shame? But why? Why would they be ashamed when in my eyes, we were so strong, ridiculously strong to have survived our bad marriages or relationships in order to fearlessly make a better life for our children?

I am aware that not every single mom fits that description, but many do–especially those I have met and now call friends.

The shame and quiet had to be broken and then this blog suddenly took on another mission. In addition to pouring my heart out with dating advice I now wanted to also kill that shame, I wanted to redefine single motherhood–to bring all of our laundry, most of it clean, out of the closet. The backlash wasn’t pretty. I’ve had and still endure a ridiculous amount of heinous hate mail but all of that is trumped by the happy mail, the notes from all of you–single moms, men dating single moms, children of single moms, single women, and even married moms.

This blog has made a small dent, but that’s something. And, if I were to ask you how you feel about single motherhood today compared to how you felt about single motherhood when you first became a single mom what would your answer be? To my my readers who were raised by single moms and to the men dating single moms–you are also included on that question.

Back to me relaxing and being flooded with ideas while on my mini-vacation. I thought it would be remarkable if we could share our thoughts with each other, our definitions of single motherhood – not just here, on this blog and the single moms forum, but in the flesh. What if we could feel and touch each other’s words on a page and then share it with others for generations to come?

The idea.

I am going to buy a blank book. I’ll start by filling out the first page myself with my own single mom manifesto–my beliefs and what I find true about single motherhood, what I have learned. And then, I’ll mail the book on to one of you. Once you’ve done the same, you’ll mail it to the next person on the list and so on and so forth. Each page will be your own creation, like a scrapbook.

Our book will travel to hundreds of single moms, their children, their grandchildren – to anyone touched by single motherhood and then it will come back to me when it’s full. From there, who knows, maybe I’ll scan in the pages and share them with everyone or maybe we’ll publish it!

So, who’s in?

Everyone is invited! Just leave your name, e-mail and mailing address in this contact form and I’ll add you to the list. We’ll go in order of sign up, so the first on the list gets the book first. Also, you will have to pay postage for re-mail the book. Other than that, there will be no obligation whatsoever.

Also be aware that by joining this mailing list your address will be shared with others who have the book in their possession. I will not, however, ever publish your addresses or real names without your express permission. To my International readers, you’ll have to sit this one out but if you want to create a page and mail it to me to add to the book later, let me know.

Update: I have closed the sign-up form for the Single Mom Manifesto due to an overwhelming response. I just want to make sure we can get it to everyone on the list, 150+ of you!

If all goes well this round, I’ll open it up again for the Single Mom Manifesto 2, so please stay tuned.

Expectations

mssinglemama — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 01:43:59 +0000

A few months ago, at a dinner I couldn’t believe I had been invited to, my friend Leigh told me about the sequel to Eat, Pray, Love – Elizabeth Gilbert’s latest, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage.

“I admit, it’s even got me thinking,” she said, raising one of her delicate eyebrows and trying to ignore my camera.

Leigh has been swearing off marriage ever since her first ended in a divorce. But she has since found a delightfully adorable and sweet boyfriend, who I suspect has more to do with her thinking than this book. “You should read it, too.”

“Maybe. What convinces her to finally get married?” I ask.

“Her husband needs a Green Card.”

“Fabulous,” I throw my hands in the air, “That sounds familiar.”

And then Leigh laughs, one of her huge bottomless laughs that makes me feel like I’m actually funny. “And Eat, Pray, Love – what’s that about? I know I’m like the last person on Earth to know but tell me.”

“After her divorce she takes off to find herself. She travels all over the world and realizes she’s just fine on her own – without a man.”

“Ahhh. Sounds like a fairy tale, totally impossible for single divorced women with kids.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I didn’t even think about that. You can’t take any time to yourself after a divorce.”

“Yep, but we make it work.”

I decide to check it out regardless because us single moms can still learn so much from our single and childless sisters.

They keep us in check. Remind us not to choose a man just because we have kids. And that we should shouldn’t lose sight of our own career goals even though we have full-time jobs already. We’re all women trying to find our place in this new, big bad world bursting with endless roads of equal opportunity decisions.

Sitting here at this table, Leigh and I are examples these dichotomous decisions. She, a fiercely independent career-minded woman who has seen and will continue to see incredible success as a result of her devotion to her work. And then myself, just as fiercely independent and career minded but side tracked by an unexpected marriage and pregnancy. Had it not been for a Homeland Security stop of my own who knows where I would be.

After our dinner, I forgot about the books and then life caught up with me until I stumbled across the Eat, Pray, Love trailer last night.

In just a few clicks I found Gilbert’s Website and a question and answer podcast on Commitment to Marriage. She discusses a few of the things that make a good marriage including: the woman maintaining her precious autonomy (career or passion) before, after and during the marriage, marrying over the age of 25 and another big one, managing our own expectations for what we can expect from marriage.

Managing our expectations seems to be the most challenging. After all, having been told about a Prince Charming since day one isn’t an easy thing to toss out. We want the romance. We want the ridiculous butterflies. And as Gilbert says, “We’re kind of making this up as we go.” This being, marrying out of love and not for pragmatic reasons like many of our parents and grandparents did. Listen to the podcast. You’ll be glad you did.

And then tell me, what do you expect from marriage? For those of you who have been married and divorced, are your expectations different now that they were? Perhaps more grounded in reality? And finally, do you hold men to the same expectations you have for yourself?

Everyone who comments will be entered to win a free new leaf necklace. I’ll draw a winner on Tuesday night.

Hindsight

mssinglemama — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:12:02 +0000

“If everything works out with John, Benjamin won’t know a time when he wasn’t around.”

As my therapist’s words sink in the last three years of my life flash through my mind; from the beginning when I packed everything up and moved into my mother’s, to the quiet nights at her house in the woods wondering and wishing myself away and back to some semblance of independence and then to the moment when Benjamin and I stepped into our own sweet, little apartment – ready to begin our new life.

What followed is all here, on this blog in my eBook, or safe in my mind.

I sit on her couch, staring off into a painting on the wall as I try to grasp this idea of him not remembering anything before John Bear. The memories wash over me – the adventures big and small – like the time we were yelled at by a hair salon owner or the countless grocery store trips that typically ended in knock down drag out tantrums. Then there were the big adventures like trips to find Joshua Trees

or deep forests and mountain coves in Vancouver.

And smaller adventures like hours of puddle jumping for no reason

or sweating it out on a hot summer day in August to hear our future president, a man also raised by a single mom, speak to us from about twenty feet away.

or chasing bunnies with Sydney.

Now, looking back, it is these moments – the moments when I forced myself out of the house with him, braving the book store, the library, the festivals, the camping trips and the road trips all by myself, trying to fill the time – that are the best memories I have of the two of us.

Memories of the moments when we both forgot where we were or when we just took our time

because we didn’t have anywhere else to be.

“So they’ll all be gone? He won’t remember a thing?” I ask my therapist or, as I fondly call her, Wonder Woman. She’s helping me to straighten out my trust issues and to figure out why, in the past, I had a pattern of choosing bad boys dysfunctional men.

“The emotions we all feel before the age of three are imprinted on our minds forever, but the actual memories are harder to keep so, no, he probably won’t remember any time that John wasn’t there. To Benjamin, he will have always been around.”

I am trying to see it as I typically would, to draw a clear line – a before and after, a then and now – but to me, meeting John and almost sensing that he was about to surface, was all part of one big transition for both Benjamin and I. Bringing John and Murphy into our lives is another family adventure but this time, we’re playing for keeps and we’re both falling.

Fortunately John is right there with us, helping us paddle the boat and proving his love through his actions over and over again. And even though part of me used to identify myself with being single, the fact is that, single or not I am still me and Benjamin is still Benjamin.

We’re just being introduced to some new things

and I am seeing expressions on his face and witnessing feelings I didn’t know he had in him

They seem so obvious now. A game, cracker jacks, a helmet filled with ice cream.

Love from a man who knows how to love.

“That’s okay,” I tell Wonder Woman, “I am happy and Benjamin is happy, that’s exactly what I’ve wanted all along. We’re just growing, making room for even more love – it doesn’t replace the love that already existed.” But that doesn’t mean I won’t be sneaking Benjamin off for a few more solo adventures or two.

In fact, I’ve been savoring our moments alone even more now. Not that we don’t like having John Bear around – we adore him (and so does Wonder Woman, by the way) – but this entire experience, of growing your heart and your family at the same time is something you need to take slowly. And while things have been speeding up as of late, while there is more and more talk of what is coming and as magnificent as it all sounds, it’s not perfect. Nothing is ever perfect. But, I can tell you, it’s a hell of a lot easier when you have a good, strong man there to catch you – a man who you know would never do or say anything to hurt you.

As for the imperfections, there are all kinds of things coming into play. My ex, for example, is becoming more and more agitated by Benjamin’s affectionate talk of this “John Bear.” We are also trying to learn how to co-parent… all other stories for another day, but for now I have a prize to give away.

[UPDATE: Just added photos from the baseball game to the bottom of my Recently Photo Album]

Single Mom Adventure Prize Pack

I don’t know why but I keep getting contacted by companies offering prizes too good to resist… maybe they’ll slow up soon enough but until then, let’s all have some fun and ride the contest wave, shall we? This one is particularly awesome…

Prize #1: A Shutterfly Photo Book

I spent most of this afternoon sorting through old pictures of Benjamin. I’m collecting them all to add to my set of Shutterfly photo books. The company contacted me asking if I’d be interested in some free samples (full disclosure). I said, “Sure, but only if my readers can have some too.” And guess what? They did. I have a few copies to give away!

I don’t know about you but I’m in love with photo print books because the pictures aren’t going to fade, get lost, separated from the album, etc. And Shutterfly books are surprising affordable and they have a big sale going on right now too. (They didn’t tell me to say that, by the way. No one ever tells me to say anything about their product because if they did I’d tell to go bug off).

Prize #2: A copy of Sole Mate by Lauren Mackler

I was reading Sole Mate: Mastering the Art of Aloneness when I met John. The author, a single mother, who had to move back to the U.S. from Europe with her two grown children after her marriage fell apart, is truly inspiring. I love this book and highly recommend it to everyone, even those of us in happy relationships.

How to enter:

The contest is open until Monday, September 14th. Just leave a comment telling me about one of your favorite adventures as a single mom and consider yourself entered.

Big Boys and Girls

mssinglemama — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 13:29:08 +0000

I’m announcing the winners to three contests today but you’re all winners.

You know why?

Because, long ago, you learned how to go on the potty. If you’ve seen this video you know I don’t like talking about bodily movements or anything close to them in public. But because Benjamin’s bowel movements, or lack thereof, are the reason I am up – right now – at 6:00 a.m., I feel obligated to share.

I am tired but happy, curled up in a little blanket on the big chair in the living room. Benjamin is coloring. I’m happy because he just ate a magnificent breakfast, breakfast fit for a big kid – three eggs and an entire bowl of oatmeal. He woke up at 5:45 saying, “Mommy, I’m hungry.” Hungry and awake because last night he couldn’t go on the potty and then decided not to go at all. The tummy ache or cramped up poopy feeling made him pass on his dinner. Like the bad mommy that I am, I completely forgot to force a bowl of yogurt on him before bed. Now here we are – awake before the sun is even up.

I’ve tried every bribe in the book, every imaginable thing a kid could want he has been offered on multiple occasions. Last week, when he started clutching his belly and begging for a diaper, jumping up and down saying, “Mommy, it hurts, Mommy, it hurts! I need a diaper”, I told him a big, rotten fat lie. It went something like this, “While you were at your Daddy’s this week Santa came into the house and took each and every one of your diapers. Then he told me he’s watching to see if you poop on the potty. If you do, then he’ll bring you tons of presents at Christmas.”

The kid shot like a dart to the toilet, sat there for a few minutes and then dropped a tiny, little package that was worthy of me freaking out. Then Benjamin joined in the joyous shouting and jumping. At one point he even crushed his arms together like a WWF wrestler and growled, pulsing all of the muscles in his little neck, “I pooooooppped on the potttty. Grrrrrr.”

We called John Bear immediately, “Hello, Santa.” I said. “Benjamin just pooped on the potty and he wants to talk to you.”

“No way! He did?” John Bear was beyond thrilled. It’s something about being a man, he wants Benjamin to learn how to use the potty like one. The diaper thing, although John has been amazing about it, is definitely up there on the slightly uncomfortable although entirely tolerable side effects to dating a single mom.

“Yes, he totally pooped on the potty. So Santa, can you talk to Benjamin?” Benjamin was buying the whole thing hook line and sinker, gazing up at me with his mouth hanging open.

“I’m at work. I can’t do that right now,” he laughed. Well, you’re about to anyway, I thought while looking at my adoring kid.

“Okay, hold on Santa, here he is.”

I handed the phone to Benjamin and then I heard John Bear’s booming Santa voice pipe through the phone. Benjamin could barely speak and after a few seconds of chatting handed the phone back to me. Then we headed out to our favorite used toy store to pick out a prize and when we got home there was a mysterious present waiting on the kitchen table.

“How did this get here? It must have been Santa!” I exclaimed while Benjamin looked on in amazement at the Transformer bobble head doll.

“I was at the grocery store and I saw it so I picked it up,” John told me later. Wow. Perfect timing on all fronts. But, in spite of our flawless pre and post potty package drop extravaganza the next day when he had to go Benjamin gave me one look and then ran up into his room for a diaper. He didn’t even think twice about trying the potty again. We’ve been downplaying it and ignoring it ever since but still encouraging him to go when it’s time.

So, here I am. Wide awake and knowing that I’ll be exhausted in a few hours. Isn’t that the rule of parenthood though, the reason why we all fall off the face of the Earth for years after the newborn arrives – poop and sleep, poop and sleep and then other stuff like teething and growing pains and scary monsters in the closet.

Now you know why you’re all winners.

It’s because at one point in your life your mother was freaking out training you how to use the potty and eventually you both crossed that victory line together. You don’t remember it, I’m sure … but I promise you it was probably quite a feat.

Congratulations.

Now the winners of those fun contests:

My Single Mamas (a sexy contest)

Grand Prize Winner of the Flirty Apron, Ms. Single Mama Uncensored and New Leaf Necklace in brass is: La Primera.

Runners-up, who all receive a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored:

Miss Kitty
Victoria
Hollie
Angela

My Super Hero Contest

Grand Prize Winner of the I’m Your Bus Back to School Kit, the BabyPop.com cape and a copy of Ms. Single Mama Unccensored is: Single Mom in New England!!!

[I pick these winners randomly by scrolling down with my finger on the screen and when it landed on her I freaked becuase she's been reading my blog since its start.]

Runners-up, who all receive a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored and I’m Your Bus:

Carol
Kaylin
April

Haunted Bedford Contest

Winner a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: @alyssainez

Thanks everyone for entering. I think we had over 200 comments in all to the contests. You should know I read every single one of your comments, always. Can’t respond to all of them anymore but I am reading them.

More big contests coming up next week. Going to be really, really good. Not sure why but I get the coolest prizes ever.

Ms. Single Mama Uncensored FAQs

mssinglemama — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 15:56:39 +0000

Why is Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love $14.95, that seems expensive for a PDF?

It took months of writing and a lot of money to bring you this eBook. Outside of my own time I also hired a graphic designer and a copyeditor. It’s not just a PDF, it’s a professional quality book.

Are you legally allowed to publish the story about Mr. Man?

Yes, I even consulted with a lawyer about sharing the Mr. Man story. I also called Mr. Man to get his approval.

Why can’t you just give it to me for free?

I quit my day job two months ago. This is now my full-time job. If I don’t sell enough of these eBooks I will not be blogging nearly as much, as I’ll have to start focusing on an alternative source of income. Giving it to you for free, unfortunately, isn’t an option because I still have to pay for things like food, shelter and clothing.

Can I buy the eBook and share it with a friend?

You can, but that would technically be illegal and not very nice of you.

What is an eBook?

An eBook is a book, online. Seconds after you buy it you’ll receive an e-mail with a link to your copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored, which, once you click it, will download a PDF of the book onto your desktop. Then you can print it or read it on your computer. If reading on a computer bothers your eyes, read it in daily doses like you do my blog (although that may be tough because so far those who have read it say they can’t put the sucker down). Read a preview of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored for free here.

How do I buy the eBook, I’m still confused.

Click here and you’ll be taken to a PayPal page. If you don’t want to open a PayPal account that’s fine just click “continue” next to the line on the bottom right that says, “Don’t have a PayPal account?” If you aren’t satisfied with your purchase I will issue you a refund instantly.

You seem like a super bitch and you are going to die alone with your two ugly cats.

Thank you for the warning and how did you know I have two cats?

I heard there is a picture of you and John Bear kissing in your eBook, is that true? And is he a good kisser?

Yes, he let me publish that picture after I begged him and begged him. And yes, he is an amazing kisser. (See what happens after he gets a kiss from me in this video).

You are not Oprah. Get over yourself.

I know I am not Oprah and, no offense to Oprah, but I am just fine being me and if I woke up tomorrow and was suddenly as famous as Oprah I would buy tickets to Bermuda and disappear forever.

I still think $14.95 is too much money for a PDF, especially when I have to print it myself. You are a sell out.

I’m sorry you feel that way. I think my blog, the over 500 posts and probably thousands of pages you can read here for free every day and now this book are worth even more than $14.95. One day I would like to sell so many eBooks that I can even take down all of the advertising on my site. Believe me, I hate money as much as you do. We should all just be living on a hippie commune and sharing everything for free, loving each other to pieces and smoking giant peace pipes.

How can I help?

If you have read my eBook, go to this page and leave a comment telling me what you thought. If you really can’t swing the $14.95 tell your friends about it on Twitter or Facebook, every little bit helps.

Whispers

mssinglemama — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 03:44:28 +0000

My Secrets are Out…

Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love is here. But first a few words from my delirious haze. I am hoping they make sense…

Before I started writing this blog the whispers in my head, the words of strength from outside of myself were hard to come by. I only knew one or two fellow single moms and living at my mother’s for one year did a number on my social life. I was alone, utterly alone and it was uncomfortable.

I tried to find inspiration in other single mom books and while they were insightful on many levels, all fell short for me. I craved real, honest advice about dating and love. I didn’t know it then but I would soon fill that void myself and also become a voice for single mothers everywhere by shouting from the my little mountaintop: we are beautiful, we are strong and we are sexy as hell. And while this shit ain’t easy we don’t need a man to rescue us, we need to rescue ourselves.

I am not sure where those words came from. They started, I believe, as whispers in my own head or more like echoes. And then you all showed up. Your words and your thoughts inspired me to keep writing, to keep sharing my stories and your words, in turn, became the whispers in my head.

The most common e-mails I receive are from new single moms who have happened upon my site. Sometimes these e-mails come months after they’ve been here, others come after just a few days but they all say one thing, “You have changed how I see myself, you have helped me to become proud to be a single mother.” And then they always add, “And I’ve been searching through all of your archives, devouring each one and trying to find out more!”

I used to have the time to write each one back with a long, personal e-mail linking to old blog posts I knew would help them but now, there are so many, too many to answer and I hate that. I remember how I felt then, wanting someone to just tell me like it was – to lay it down straight. This eBook is for each and every one of you, for being here for so long and to those of you who are just joining us.

And from now on instead of hours of archive searching, all of my readers will now have my eBook, Ms. Single mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex & Love. New readers will use it catch up on everything they’ve missed. And for my long-time readers… this book, you’ll find, ties everything you read here together. There are so many stories I have kept from you – some because I just hadn’t gotten around to writing them and others because I just wasn’t ready.

But now here they are.

Enjoy.

The stories behind the blog.

Need to catch up on what you’ve missed? Or want to know the secrets and stories behind the blog?

Download your copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love for $14.95 and find out:

How Ms. Single Mama and her ex-husband met and fell in love
More about the allusive Biker, my first single mom romance
Read the story about my first single mom crush
What really happened with Mr. Man
Why my fling with Cabin Man was so short lived
Details on how to have a happy and healthy sex life as a single mom along with tips on dating including touchy issues like when to tell him about your single mom status and when to introduce him to the kids.

Click here to preview the first 10 pages or skip ahead and just buy the eBook.

Details: Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, 120 pages, PDF form. Click the add to cart button to purchase with any major credit card.

Blogger Affiliate Program – make money in your sleep

Become a Ms. Single Mama Uncensored affiliate and you’ll earn 30% back for every copy of the eBook you sell. Simply place banners and code on your website or blog and every time someone clicks that banner and purchases a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored you’ll receive 30% back that’s about $4.95 a copy. It’s SO easy. Click here to set up your affiliate account.

P.S. The reviews are already coming in - the first is from Amanda at Stack of Spines, “The eBook reads like a girlfriend sitting across from you having cocktails and gushing her hopes, dreams, fears, and heartaches.” Read her entire review here.

and if you’re a blogger, make 30% back for every copy you sell! Read about my super exciting affiliate program here.<— Find badges here too!

Special Thanks:

To John. The irony of this book for single mamas is that I’m not sure it would be here without him… he has been working right alongside me either by watching Benjamin, making me dinner or by designing all of the beautiful banners you see on the site. He’s also been putting up with my sleep deprived, cranky self for over one month now, which is no easy feat – believe me. I adore him for that and am proud to say this book has actually brought us even closer together. Reading it for the first time just yesterday, John told me when he was finished, “I can see now how all of these experiences you had needed to happen before we met.”

And the biggest thanks goes to the true hero of every story I write… my Benjamin.

Congratulations to the Winners:

The Ms. Single Mama Uncensored winners are –

Alexis
Rebecca M.
Ashlea
@BobbiJanay
@NancyJane17

[You have all been e-mailed with your special code for your free copy. Congratulations and thanks to everyone who entered!]

Big Tease

mssinglemama — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 16:07:30 +0000

I love teasing you, I do.

Here is a preview (and the entire Table of Contents) to Ms. Single Mama Uncensored. Come back on Thursday, July 30th to buy your copy and read the rest.

Stay tuned also for details on my affiliate program for bloggers and for the announcement of the lucky five of you who will win a copy. Still time to enter, just leave a comment here.

[I would insert something cheesy here about how much this little eBook means to me, but I am too tired. Just click on the preview link and check it out.]

xoxo

Ms. Single Mama

Seeing things

mssinglemama — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 12:15:12 +0000

As I’m putting the final touches on Ms. Single Mama Uncensored I’m finding that in nearly every thought and in every piece there is even more I want to write. But at some point I have to stop, right? I guess I don’t want to stop though… so expect a Part II or an expanded version after this one (but I’ll be taking a huge break in between because this is obviously not easy, although incredibly exciting and fun).

In the meantime, I have popped my head up for air every once in a while and noticed that Benjamin has grown really fond of the life size E.T. doll we found for $8.50 at the thrift store.

He takes him into bed, outside to play and even sits him on the potty. E.T. was a perfectly normal alien until Murphy came home with this on his head.

He has a bad boo boo where his “you know whats” used to be, on account of being unable to stop licking the area in question.

After we took Murphy to the vet E.T. started coming down with frequent cases of the flu and I’ve actually had to practice the Heimlich on this thing. But if it all of this madness makes Benjamin smile like this, than I know I’m doing something right…

And guess who has figured out how to pose for the camera?

Watch out Ladies.

Okay. Back to work. Some things coming up soon:

Remember the Lion? Of the Lion and the Tiger… well, even though our date didn’t pan out he is an awesome guy and on that date I told him I had met John just the day before. “But,” I said, “I could feature you on my blog as an eligible bachelor. You’re just so cute!” And very soon now — you’ll all be meeting him.
A very exciting Ford Fiesta Movement Mission video of John Bear and I’s fashion makeovers.
Another big Single Edition contest. You’re going to love the package I’ve put together, awesome stuff for single mamas.