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Mother’s Day = Pamper Time

mssinglemama — Sun, 11 May 2008 18:18:28 +0000

No husband to pamper me + one adorable two year old son who has no concept of holidays = me, treating myself to a new ring, a new super cute hat and an even cuter new dress! (I know, I splurged. Oh well)

If you haven’t already – go treat yourself. Even if it’s just some new nail polish or a magazine!

And HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY my single mamas!

Did you pamper yourself today too? Were the kids good? So far Benjamin has been especially pleasant, minus dumping an entire bucket of toy dinosaurs out at the store and locking himself in the dressing room. That was fun.

Men. Shopping. And FREE stuff (from under my couch).

mssinglemama — Thu, 01 May 2008 03:44:21 +0000

Benjamin has been at my mom’s for three days now. I’ve been so busy…having fun! Lots of it.

Shopping

Tonight I worked late to catch up on some big projects, then popped into Ann Taylor Loft and found quite a few treasures on the sales rack. Two super cute summer tops, a necklace and a belt!

Men

Then I headed to the coffee shop. For the past few weeks Benjamin and I keep bumping into this guy. We’re usually in a hurry but there’s always quick small talk. Tonight, I’m a childless mama … so we could actually talk. I pay for my coffee and then see him … I fill my coffee with creamer and sugar and then just do it – I just walked right up and said, “Hi!”

Immediately we were chatting it up and then he asked me to sit down. We talked for about 45 minutes. It was like a spontaneous mini-date. Will it ever be a real date? Who knows. I’m indifferent. And honestly, after our mini-date, not sure if I want a real one. (Purple Octopuses).

That’s the funny thing about asking men out or just walking up and talking to them. You might find that your “crush” really isn’t that crush worthy. Then you don’t waste time wondering about him. Would you rather have the wax ripped off in one quick flick or would you rather it slowly pulled, piece by piece?

Approach men and you find out if there’s potential…quickly. And either way – whether it’s you or him doing the quick rip – at least you know. I prefer the quick rip: less painful in the long run.

Life is too short. Seriously.

FREE Stuff

Speaking of life being too short. I have so much to do! And without Benjamin here I can stay up later and sleep in a little later. Tonight I got on a cleaning kick, a much overdue cleaning kick. Look what I scrounged out from under our living room chair.

Wonder how all of this got here? Hmmm… could it have been a little two-year-old with a funny sense of humor, or a mom shoving it under the chair in hurried preparation for dates or sitters? I honestly couldn’t tell you – but there it is. A bunch of forgotten toys and gizmos, oh, and a shoe!

This little pile has inspired a contest, my first contest! So you better play. And it’s easy. Here goes…

MSM Contest: What’s Under Your Couch??

Look under your couch right now. Tell me about something you’ve found. I’ll pick a winner for each of the following categories:

1. Cutest

2. Funniest

3. Grossest

And

4. Best in Show

The Prize

Something in this pile. The four winners each get to pick a prize from the pile! As you can see there’s lots of good stuff in this pile. A baby music toy, a Leap Frog pad, an empty Thomas DVD case, a little fire truck, an outlet extension thing…and some markers.

Or, you can waive on something from the pile and I’ll send you a mystery item (probably from some other pile I find under something else, or maybe it will be a really cool book…you’ll have to find out).

Now go look under your couch…and may the best man or woman win.

Mission Not Accomplished: the Thomas Lo Rider

mssinglemama — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 03:02:16 +0000

This weekend Benjamin discovered that if he took his tricycle to the top of our front yard he could zoom all the way down the little hill, down the driveway and then take a hard right turn onto the sidewalk. He nearly flipped twice. So after his nap on Saturday it was off to Target - to find a safe replacement – one with rubber wheels and more weight.

Our pick: the Huffy Thomas Lo Rider Bicycle.

When Benjamin saw the box he started jumping up and down, “Train! Thomas! Traaaiinnn…chooooo…biiiikkkkkeee! More? More? More?”

“Okay, baby.” I know, I know – I’m a sucker.

But it’s only the Thomas obsession. Gets me every time. And the box said it had rubber coated wheels. It’ll do, and if not, I’ll just sell it on Craigslist and find a different one.

So we buy it. We come home, jump out of the car and open the box. His two-year-old ameba brain is, of course, expecting a bike to pop out. Mine is more prepared. I have my little screw driver, my hammer (don’t know why I grabbed a hammer) and some scissors.

And then, there it is. A pile of pieces. This is easy? I tried to breath, it had been a long day…a very long day. And for a split moment I actually wished I had a husband to help. But I sucked it up and dove in.

The two page instruction manual was useless. There weren’t even clear labels or illustrations of each part. Yes, guys, I need them to tell me what each little screw, nut and bolt is. Then Benjamin took off with the bicycle seat and two tires. He stopped at the front porch where he knelt down and started hammering the tires ferociously into the pavement. BANG. BANG. BANG. I think he was trying to help.

But not even Benjamin could save me from the Thomas Lo Rider. I had to give up. He didn’t even mind. He knew it was a piece of junk anyway. So we piled all of the pieces back into the box and now they’re in the trunk of my car. I’m trying to simmer down a bit before I bring it or should I say them back to Target.

Do the people who make these products actually open them up and try to set them up themselves? Who wrote those instruction manuals? WHY???? WHY HUFFY??? Big jerks.

Or…am I a total idiot because I couldn’t put this thing together?

A Christmas miracle…I got to go to the grocery…alone.

mssinglemama — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 17:41:18 +0000

Yesterday morning I woke up still in a fabulous mood after an amazing night with Kris. We hadn’t had one like that in a while. I have been stressing out about our relationship and my fears have been controlling my emotions, the way I’ve been treating him – everything for the past few weeks.

Read my eye-opening post on “Do I need therapy?”and you can see why…the perfect advice (from commenter Tim) came at the perfect time and I was able to let go of my fears for one night…and one morning…and one afternoon. And now it’s been 48 hours relatively fear free.

So yesterday morning, my new fearless self, asked Kris if he could watch Benjamin while I ran to the grocery and of course, he said yes. He suited Benjamin up and took him to the park while I had nearly one hour of stress free shopping.

Believe it or not, this was the first time I’ve asked a man in my life for help as a single mother. I know I’m not alone in this unhealthy practice of denying ourselves the time we need to be alone.

My theories on why single mothers are afraid to ask boyfriends for help:

We have been on our own for a while. The idea of receiving help and then possibly getting used to it and then losing it scares us to death.
We expect men to offer help. But in reality they may feel intimidated – after all, from their vantage point it looks like we have everything under control, and they don’t want to insult our pride.
We don’t want to scare them off. When we are with someone we may not want to make them feel like dating us would be “hard” or require major household duties on their part.

But we have to remind ourselves – this is our life. If they truly want to be with us it will take some extra “work” on their part. But it shouldn’t feel like work. When I got back from the grocery I thanked Kris again. He said, “No don’t worry about it – we had fun!” I grabbed Benjamin to take him up for his nap. When a friend is over I usually hurry upstairs and lay him down while they wait…but Kris sticks his head around the stairs, “can I come?”

“Sure!” Wow. Is this really happening? He comes upstairs and we all cuddle together on the big nursery chair while Benjamin falls asleep. Amazing. I think he’s falling in love with both of us. I know I’m falling in love with him…I can feel it and this time I’m not going to sabatoge our relationship because of my own fears.

Online shopping – my only option.

mssinglemama — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 04:16:16 +0000

I tried to go shopping last night…my friend offered to take Benjamin for a few hours. I thought – geez – two hours – that’s plenty of time to get some major Christmas shopping done. No way. I used to spend days shopping. Picking out the perfect presents. My shopping decisions were quick. They had to be. Time was running out. I kept looking at my clock. 15 more minutes…hurry. Who else? Who else?

Then I looked at the line. It wrapped around and around in a snake path through the front of the store. Forget it. I dropped my cart. Walked out and drove home. I had to, I had to pick up Benjamin. Wow. Two hours in a store and what do I get? Two hours of my life I’ll never have back. Yuck. That wasn’t fun. This used to be fun, right? Am I just older? Have I lost my Christmas spirit? A long line like that – that was enough to dash any single mom’s spirits. I can’t do this.

So, I am going to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping online. I love shopping online but the truth is – I would rather be in a store. Taking my time. Or would I? After being a completely broke (now I’m a moderately broke) single mother for a solid year of my life I guess shopping has lost its luster. Plus, taking the time to do it isn’t realistic.

No choice so why bother thinking about it?

Shopping online rocks because:

You get fun packages in the mail
Or you can mail them straight to the recipient
Shipping is practically free on most sites
No impulse buys
I can compare a dozen store’s prices in 5 minutes
I think much longer before making a purchase
I can do it in my pajamas

Happy shopping! Any tips please pass them on.