by mssinglemama on December 15, 2008
It’s a question I have asked before…
And recently there has been a string of very passionate comments on my post, “She’s pregnant, should she tell the father?” It’s an issue that never gets old, especially for women who find themselves pregnant by a stranger or a passing boyfriend.
I know of two men who have found out they’ve fathered a child years after the fact. One is a class-act, completely diving into fatherhood. The other pays his child support but has never actually met his own son and has no desire to (something I can not understand at all). But humans will be humans, men will be men, and let’s face it, we aren’t always ready for the job.
So, if you’re pregnant and have no relationship with the father are you morally obligated to tell him? What do you think?
Hop over here to read the old post and the fascinating discussion that unfolded.
And let me throw a new question out there – what if she is going to have an abortion? Is the mother morally obligated to tell the father? Guys would you rather not know?
[P.S. A fantastic book, if you have found yourself in this situation, is Accidentally on Purpose by Mary Pols.]
by mssinglemama on April 10, 2008
After Benjamin spends 36 hours with daddy I usually spend 48 hours repairing the damage. He’s extra needy and extra disobedient.
For example, I got home from work last night. Benjamin sees me – freaks out – and won’t let go. I seriously have to pee holding him in my arms while his dad fumbles around gathering up his stuff to head back to his girlfriend’s. Same scene every single week.
“It’s okay baby, I’m here, I’m here. Let daddy hold you for a second so mommy can change.” Nope. He proceeds to hold me in a death grip until his dad leaves. Sad for daddy, but what can I do? My kid and I are inseparable…
And then it’s time for damage control. Instead of hanging around the house (that he’s been stuck in all day with dad) we hop in the car for a super fun outing … last night it was house hunting and mountain climbing.
Tonight I picked him up from day care. Happy kid for approximately 45 minutes and then it begins. Hell. Toddler – Mommy hell. He’s been with dad for two days hell.
I was having a crappy day anyway. Tired, worn out. One word – progesterone. I’m usually much more up beat during the first two weeks of my cycle. TMI guys but hey – it’s the progesterone talking – so if you don’t like it … well, piss off! And, ladies, if you don’t know the difference between progesterone and estrogen look it up. You’ll freak out and say – “Oh, that’s why I wanted to kill someone yesterday.”
Anyway, I digress. Back to Benjamin and then I’ll get to the Barnes & Noble lady. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on March 1, 2008
It’s a question so perplexing they’ve made movies about it … most recently “Knocked Up,” which I think is completely unrealistic. Laughable really.
What are the odds that a man who you’re not even in love with would miraculously become your knight in shining armor? If the main character would have ended up alone – would that really have been such a tragic ending? On the contrary, I think it would have been a story of strength. The strength to realize that staying with someone just because you’re pregnant may actually be the wrong one.
Claudia just commented on my “I LOVE Being a Single Mom” post with this question:
“Does anyone on this site have the issue of contemplating whether to tell the father of the baby that you are expecting? I am in that situation right now and am torn whether to tell him.
In the end this is a very selfish society, mostly men’s selfishness and no consideration for the feelings of anyone. Very controlling, but if I do tell the father, it will be me controlling the situation. His excuse for not being with me, dating, bars, meeting friends and family has been that he has to take care of things such as college and his new career. So I would be causing him more stress and things to worry about. Or would I? Would he be so selfish that he as some men never contact me nor the child? Should I care what he thinks?“ [click to continue…]
