Single Mom | Single Mom Blog | Ms. Single Mama » must love kids

The oddest day.

mssinglemama — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 03:42:45 +0000

You know those days when everything is off by a centimeter or an inch or a nanosecond. Today was one of those days. All clouded by the letter I wrote last night and then the dream that followed.

1. The dream. I was in love with Britney Spears’ brother. She doesn’t have a brother though. She was the symbol, the omen – the red flag. But she died in the dream. So the red flag was gone and it was just me and him. Tall, dark, handsome, big eyes. Benjamin woke up before I could finish…so a cliff hanger started my day and I felt like I’d landed in the Twilight Zone.

2. Match.com. I get a free account. They’re giving me one. The e-mail came this morning. Weird. Is he on there? Why do I care? I’ll try it out.

3. The man in the shop. Benjamin and I dropped the car off for a long overdue oil change. The man in the shop looked at my bare left ring finger and for the first time I encountered one of those guys who thinks single moms are “easy.” But I wasn’t in a bar and I wasn’t drunk so I was just offended and mildly creeped out. He knows my address. They take your address for some reason. I’m becoming more paranoid now that I’m a mother and it just gets worse as he gets older and more vulnerable to not just the physical, but the emotional.

4. Asshole in the street. Benjamin and I had to walk home from the car shop. And as we were crossing a busy street (I had him in my arms) the walk sign switched to the flashing red hand. Then a driver, turning left through our cross walk rolled down his window and said, “It says no walking, Asshole.”

And yes, I said HIS window. A man called Benjamin and I an Asshole. Well, I guess he just called me an Asshole but my child heard it. I stopped dead in my tracks (the light was red I was safe) spun my body around and caught the driver’s eye just in time to throw him a glare that has made grown men shudder before. I didn’t even need to say a word…and Benjamin was none the wiser. I spent the rest of the walk home wondering what in the hell is wrong with this world while I clutched Benjamin’s tiny little hand.

5. Benjamin pooped in the bath. Yep. First time ever. It was horrible. That’s all I can really say about that. Potty training casualty or bad mommy? Not really sure. Either way it sucked. I didn’t tell him that though. Didn’t want to make him feel guilty. You only get to smear poop on the walls of a shower once in your life, right? Why ruin it for him?

6. YouTube loves us. Tonight I had three friend or subscription requests in my YouTube account. Three may not sound like a lot to you … but by YouTube standards (for me anyway) that was pretty cool. Then I checked out the stats on Morgan and I’s Single Mom Dating video – it’s had over 700 collective views. One of my friend requests was from a single mom who made a YouTube video calling out her child’s dead beat father. Watch it here.

7. I skipped Must Love Kids. Too busy. How will the show make it if single moms are too busy to watch it? Damn. I loved the first episode though.

8. Benjamin is in my bed. He wanted to sleep there tonight. I let him because his tooth is hurting him. Damn it. It will probably be pulled Thursday (we have a dentist appointment anyway). No front teeth for Benjamin until he’s what 5 or 6 – maybe even 8. I am going to take a lot of pictures tomorrow. We had our first real conversation tonight. We talked about Elephants, Monkeys and Daddys. What do you tell a 2.4 year old when he asks where his daddy is? Then he pretended to tuck me into bed and all of that Daddy talk seemed utterly pointless.

Must Love Kids: Tracy Paye Interview

mssinglemama — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:10:54 +0000

I still haven’t seen the new Must Love Kids show on TLC … my neighbor is recording it for me, so this weekend I’ll catch it. Just had to pass this interview on in the meantime. Single mom, Tracy Paye is fantastic.

So what do you think about the forthcoming controversy Tracy expects as a fall out for introducing her 6-year-old daughter to the men on the show? I don’t want to say anything until I’ve seen the show but I do know that I love Tracy’s attitude – just another amazing single mom!

We are every where, I’m telling ya.

Single moms are on fire.

mssinglemama — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:22:13 +0000

Single moms are hot, hot, hot.

Yep. We are trendy. It’s official.

This fact was pointed out to me in my first piece of hate mail from a YouTube viewer, one of nearly 500 who have already watched Morgan and I’s “Dating & Single Moms” video. With so many views, and there will be more, the crazies are bound to come out. Regardless he made one point I agreed on.

Women with children are realizing it’s okay to be single. But while Mr. Crazy thinks this awakening to not “needing” a man marks the downfall of society, I think it’s about time.

It’s about time single moms can be proud and happy. We didn’t choose this path but here it is – and it’s in our children’s best interest to make the best of it – day in and day out. And yes, society (ours anyway) is slowly coming to accept single moms and dads. We have celebrity role models all over the place. Some good. Some bad. Angelina Jolie (the original who snagged Brad Pitt), Kate Hudson (the newbie) and who is that? Madonna? She might be a single mom again. Or is she already? I can’t keep up.

And last night Must Love Kids premiered on TLC. There was even a single dad on this last season of the Bachelorette. Yep. Single moms and dads are all over the place. And while it concerns me that some young women might actually aspire to be a single mom or actually want to be caught up in a dramatic and sexy divorce (because the reality is much darker) I think the positives of society accepting the single parent household (whether it be through mainstream media or blogs) is ultimately a good thing.

And to the question – are happy and proud single moms bad for society?

Time will be the judge but I can tell you one thing that is for certain – it’s bad for society when fathers leave their families, check out mentally or lash out physically against the mothers of their children or when they refuse to pay child support or play a role in their child’s lives. This is something that has been happening for generations but now, finally, the women and children left behind can actually communicate openly.

I think the responsibility of how our society and how this country’s children turn out lies on everyone’s shoulders – mothers, fathers, grandparents, neighbors, aunts, uncles. It takes a village and if anyone ever lays blames solely on the mother because she slept with the wrong man and god forbid (got pregnant) than they can … well … I’ll leave that one up to your imagination.

Just had to vent after that horrible, horrible e-mail from YouTube which I won’t reprint here because it was too disgusting and offensive.

P.S. I had my neighbor TIVO Must Love Kids, no TV in the house so I missed it! Darn it. Will definitely catch it this weekend and from what I’m reading – the reviews are great.

P.P.S. This is an entry into MommyPie’s BlogHerNot ’08 Conference the topic: “How to Nail a Crazy YouTube Commenter with a Post”

A smudge in the plans.

mssinglemama — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 22:25:03 +0000

There’s a giant smudge on our shots from San Francisco.

It’s staring at me and I’m staring at it – wishing it away. But there it is … smudging up every one of our scenes and interviews.

I’m going to make the video anyway. Smudge be damned. I haven’t screamed at the smudge, I haven’t even looked back. The smudge is there and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. The only thing I can hope is that you all can overlook my little smudge.

So how are you guys? I feel like the trip completely stole me away for a while. Any unexpected smudges in your lives? Are you looking past them and just chugging right along?

P.S. The video is still going to be amazing (thanks to Morgan the Magnificent, aka Modern Single Momma). So stay tuned. And I’m back home to Benjamin and my extremely trashed house.

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In the meantime watch this – the teaser for the new TLC reality show about dating single moms called Must Love Kids. I can’t wait to see it!!! It premieres July 15th.