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Single and Childless

mssinglemama — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 19:27:37 +0000

I had an amazing day yesterday… not because I am all in love and stuff (although that made it nice too) but because I got to see two of my best single and childless girlfriends. And now I’m wondering what or who I would be without them in my life.

First, there’s Alison…

(who is going to fricking kill me for publishing this picture of her chewing and half smiling).

Long before John Bear came along Alison and I would spend hours upon hours relaying the horrors of our dating errors and ways. Since we’ve met she’s blossomed from accepting what she can get from men to expecting only the best and she’s become one of the strongest and most beautiful single women I know. But she still has that precious optimism of a young twenty something that I drink in while we’re together, pretending like I’m back there with her for a moment. Then she tells me to “shut up” because I’m “not that old.”

I met Alison for lunch yesterday and then, after hearing the scoop on the amazing new man she’s met we stopped into Anthropologie to try on hats and coats we couldn’t afford.

And because I know Alison is going to kill me for publishing these pictures I am going to publish this one of myself.

Now we are even.

After Alison headed back to work I wandered across the street into See where another one of the most incredible single and childless friends of mine was hard at work, managing the place.

Delcina and I pre-date my ex-husband and I’s relationship. Together we have seen it all when it comes to men and dating.

When we’re together we tend to just laugh a lot, smile at each other and then shake our heads while relaying on story or another. “Do you remember when?” Later on last night, hours after my stop at See we headed out to a concert, our first night out alone in years. Yes, in years. But now I have a John Bear, which means I can actually go out and spend time with my friends outside of my own front porch or in my living room.

Which means for a few moments last night Delcina and I were just Delcina and I again.

Trippin’, Part 1

mssinglemama — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 01:09:06 +0000

There was a time, not too long ago actually, that I couldn’t imagine having mind-blowing good adult fun without alcohol, a night out and/or loud music involved. Long road trips, especially with new boyfriends, sent me into a packing frenzy which included over planning and filling my purse with all of the CDs and books I could find. Used in case of emergency to cure the often inevitable and uncomfortable bouts of silence, the music could dull the edge of a silent tension brought on by something either imagined or otherwise and the books could prevent me from fits of boredom.

It wasn’t until two hours in to my vacation with John Bear that it occurred to me that I had not only neglected to bring any music but that I’d also left behind my new copy of The Time Traveler’s Wife. Outside of our first Fiesta Mission, John and I had never spent more than three or four hours completely alone. Certain we’d have a great time I was still nervous about the nine hour car ride and our three night stay in a secluded cabin. Would we get sick of each other? Would we fight? Would we be bored? Would he start to smell funny after that much prolonged exposure?

The simple twist of fate that brought us together showed up again to throw the most challenging traveling scenarios a new couple can possibly face. But you’ll have to wait to hear the stories because we’re still technically on the road (more on why later). But I can tell you it’s been one crazy trip…

Until I can write more, you’ll have to settle with some clues of what we’ve been up to in my photo gallery (round one is going up tonight, hoping to get round two up tomorrow).

Lebron took off with my head

mssinglemama — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 04:03:07 +0000

And he told him to do it…

While this one cheered him on.

Last night Benjamin woke up screaming clutching his little blue Transformer car, “Mommy, Mommmmmyyyyy!”

I ran up the stairs in a hazy fog and said, “What, Baby? What?”

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered.

“For what?”

“I ripped your head off.”

“Huh?” I was beginning to think I was in a dream myself when he kept going.

“I was a robot and I ripped your head off, Mommy. I’m sorry.” He was now heaving sobs and tears were bursting out of his sweet little eyes.

I wrapped my hands around my neck and started shaking my head around so he could see it was securely fastened. “It was just a dream, Baby, just a dream. Back to bed.”

I kissed him on the forehead, checked the lights in the room, turned down the fan a notch and went back to bed and to my sleeping John Bear.

He only lives a few blocks away so it makes it easy for him to slip off to his place long before Benjamin even wakes up, which he does diligently and without complaint. When Benjamin does wake up, I usually hear him within seconds. If for some reason I don’t, John is shaking me and screaming bloody murder while simultaneously jumping out of my bed and looking for a hiding spot.

Satisfied that Benjamin was back down for good I nestled up into John’s chest and fell back asleep. One hour later, I was finally entering something that resembled REM, when John lurched forward with a shout. I sounded as if he’d been pushed off of a cliff by surprise.

“What? What? Are you okay?” I was now wide awake and totally freaked out.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It was just a dream.”

After our blood pressures had returned to normal I forced a thought out of my exhausted brain, “Well, what was it about? Did you die or something?”

“No, I was at a Cavs game.”

“And?”

“And they had just won the Championship.”

We spent about 15 minutes laughing our asses off and then I finally fell asleep again. I’m so glad the men in my life are having such simple, albeit sometimes frightening dreams, but I have been tossing and turning lately. If I don’t get a solid night of sleep soon I’ll be ripping my own head off and passing it to Lebron James for a dunk.

Tomorrow I’m taking off in the Fiesta with John Bear for a long overdue a vacation sleep-fest. Our destination? A cabin in the middle of the Poconos mountains with no internet, no cell phone service and absolutely nothing to focus on aside from the cool mountain air and the hot tub. After that we’re heading to New York City to visit and crash with his twenty-something little brother.

I’ll be back in six days, or maybe seven. If you’re going through Ms. Single Mama withdrawal please buy your copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored.

Loose Ends

When I get back I’ll be shipping out the silver new leaf necklaces. Have you seen them? If not, check them out here and try not to jump up and down. There are only 35 left and I’m not sure if there will be another round or not, so best to snatch one up now.

And, last but not least, the winners of the Lion Share contest are:

Grand Prize:

Restless Mama!!! Congratulations.

Runners-up (winners of a copy of MSM Uncensored courtesy of the sweet Lion):

Aruscore
Jen C from Cali
Demetria
Christy

[P.S. I picked the winners with my scrolling finger down the page. That's my Random Generator and they've all be e-mailed. More contests coming soon... if you have any bachelors please send me their info - I'd love to feature them.]

Ms. Single Mama Uncensored FAQs

mssinglemama — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 15:56:39 +0000

Why is Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love $14.95, that seems expensive for a PDF?

It took months of writing and a lot of money to bring you this eBook. Outside of my own time I also hired a graphic designer and a copyeditor. It’s not just a PDF, it’s a professional quality book.

Are you legally allowed to publish the story about Mr. Man?

Yes, I even consulted with a lawyer about sharing the Mr. Man story. I also called Mr. Man to get his approval.

Why can’t you just give it to me for free?

I quit my day job two months ago. This is now my full-time job. If I don’t sell enough of these eBooks I will not be blogging nearly as much, as I’ll have to start focusing on an alternative source of income. Giving it to you for free, unfortunately, isn’t an option because I still have to pay for things like food, shelter and clothing.

Can I buy the eBook and share it with a friend?

You can, but that would technically be illegal and not very nice of you.

What is an eBook?

An eBook is a book, online. Seconds after you buy it you’ll receive an e-mail with a link to your copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored, which, once you click it, will download a PDF of the book onto your desktop. Then you can print it or read it on your computer. If reading on a computer bothers your eyes, read it in daily doses like you do my blog (although that may be tough because so far those who have read it say they can’t put the sucker down). Read a preview of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored for free here.

How do I buy the eBook, I’m still confused.

Click here and you’ll be taken to a PayPal page. If you don’t want to open a PayPal account that’s fine just click “continue” next to the line on the bottom right that says, “Don’t have a PayPal account?” If you aren’t satisfied with your purchase I will issue you a refund instantly.

You seem like a super bitch and you are going to die alone with your two ugly cats.

Thank you for the warning and how did you know I have two cats?

I heard there is a picture of you and John Bear kissing in your eBook, is that true? And is he a good kisser?

Yes, he let me publish that picture after I begged him and begged him. And yes, he is an amazing kisser. (See what happens after he gets a kiss from me in this video).

You are not Oprah. Get over yourself.

I know I am not Oprah and, no offense to Oprah, but I am just fine being me and if I woke up tomorrow and was suddenly as famous as Oprah I would buy tickets to Bermuda and disappear forever.

I still think $14.95 is too much money for a PDF, especially when I have to print it myself. You are a sell out.

I’m sorry you feel that way. I think my blog, the over 500 posts and probably thousands of pages you can read here for free every day and now this book are worth even more than $14.95. One day I would like to sell so many eBooks that I can even take down all of the advertising on my site. Believe me, I hate money as much as you do. We should all just be living on a hippie commune and sharing everything for free, loving each other to pieces and smoking giant peace pipes.

How can I help?

If you have read my eBook, go to this page and leave a comment telling me what you thought. If you really can’t swing the $14.95 tell your friends about it on Twitter or Facebook, every little bit helps.

Whispers

mssinglemama — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 03:44:28 +0000

My Secrets are Out…

Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love is here. But first a few words from my delirious haze. I am hoping they make sense…

Before I started writing this blog the whispers in my head, the words of strength from outside of myself were hard to come by. I only knew one or two fellow single moms and living at my mother’s for one year did a number on my social life. I was alone, utterly alone and it was uncomfortable.

I tried to find inspiration in other single mom books and while they were insightful on many levels, all fell short for me. I craved real, honest advice about dating and love. I didn’t know it then but I would soon fill that void myself and also become a voice for single mothers everywhere by shouting from the my little mountaintop: we are beautiful, we are strong and we are sexy as hell. And while this shit ain’t easy we don’t need a man to rescue us, we need to rescue ourselves.

I am not sure where those words came from. They started, I believe, as whispers in my own head or more like echoes. And then you all showed up. Your words and your thoughts inspired me to keep writing, to keep sharing my stories and your words, in turn, became the whispers in my head.

The most common e-mails I receive are from new single moms who have happened upon my site. Sometimes these e-mails come months after they’ve been here, others come after just a few days but they all say one thing, “You have changed how I see myself, you have helped me to become proud to be a single mother.” And then they always add, “And I’ve been searching through all of your archives, devouring each one and trying to find out more!”

I used to have the time to write each one back with a long, personal e-mail linking to old blog posts I knew would help them but now, there are so many, too many to answer and I hate that. I remember how I felt then, wanting someone to just tell me like it was – to lay it down straight. This eBook is for each and every one of you, for being here for so long and to those of you who are just joining us.

And from now on instead of hours of archive searching, all of my readers will now have my eBook, Ms. Single mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex & Love. New readers will use it catch up on everything they’ve missed. And for my long-time readers… this book, you’ll find, ties everything you read here together. There are so many stories I have kept from you – some because I just hadn’t gotten around to writing them and others because I just wasn’t ready.

But now here they are.

Enjoy.

The stories behind the blog.

Need to catch up on what you’ve missed? Or want to know the secrets and stories behind the blog?

Download your copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love for $14.95 and find out:

How Ms. Single Mama and her ex-husband met and fell in love
More about the allusive Biker, my first single mom romance
Read the story about my first single mom crush
What really happened with Mr. Man
Why my fling with Cabin Man was so short lived
Details on how to have a happy and healthy sex life as a single mom along with tips on dating including touchy issues like when to tell him about your single mom status and when to introduce him to the kids.

Click here to preview the first 10 pages or skip ahead and just buy the eBook.

Details: Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, 120 pages, PDF form. Click the add to cart button to purchase with any major credit card.

Blogger Affiliate Program – make money in your sleep

Become a Ms. Single Mama Uncensored affiliate and you’ll earn 30% back for every copy of the eBook you sell. Simply place banners and code on your website or blog and every time someone clicks that banner and purchases a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored you’ll receive 30% back that’s about $4.95 a copy. It’s SO easy. Click here to set up your affiliate account.

P.S. The reviews are already coming in - the first is from Amanda at Stack of Spines, “The eBook reads like a girlfriend sitting across from you having cocktails and gushing her hopes, dreams, fears, and heartaches.” Read her entire review here.

and if you’re a blogger, make 30% back for every copy you sell! Read about my super exciting affiliate program here.<— Find badges here too!

Special Thanks:

To John. The irony of this book for single mamas is that I’m not sure it would be here without him… he has been working right alongside me either by watching Benjamin, making me dinner or by designing all of the beautiful banners you see on the site. He’s also been putting up with my sleep deprived, cranky self for over one month now, which is no easy feat – believe me. I adore him for that and am proud to say this book has actually brought us even closer together. Reading it for the first time just yesterday, John told me when he was finished, “I can see now how all of these experiences you had needed to happen before we met.”

And the biggest thanks goes to the true hero of every story I write… my Benjamin.

Congratulations to the Winners:

The Ms. Single Mama Uncensored winners are –

Alexis
Rebecca M.
Ashlea
@BobbiJanay
@NancyJane17

[You have all been e-mailed with your special code for your free copy. Congratulations and thanks to everyone who entered!]

Big Tease

mssinglemama — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 16:07:30 +0000

I love teasing you, I do.

Here is a preview (and the entire Table of Contents) to Ms. Single Mama Uncensored. Come back on Thursday, July 30th to buy your copy and read the rest.

Stay tuned also for details on my affiliate program for bloggers and for the announcement of the lucky five of you who will win a copy. Still time to enter, just leave a comment here.

[I would insert something cheesy here about how much this little eBook means to me, but I am too tired. Just click on the preview link and check it out.]

xoxo

Ms. Single Mama

The Ms. Single Mama Video! (Yeah, I’m a dork.)

mssinglemama — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 23:39:23 +0000

Just wanted to say hello in person! : )

I LOVE iMacs. I also feel like a HUGE dork for making this but I really, really want to put a voice/face to everything that I’m writing. So here you go. Be nice. Don’t make fun of me too badly, okay?