Single Mom | Single Mom Blog | Ms. Single Mama » moving

Lost amidst the never ending paint

mssinglemama — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 12:48:29 +0000

I have been painting since Sunday afternoon.

A few things I’ve learned, 1248 square feet seems much larger when you have to cover every inch and painting a ceiling is worse than painting a closet. If you were hoping for some insightful live or love lesson you’ll have to move along, my brain is fried on fumes.

We’re almost there though. Every room is finished. Now it’s just woodwork and closets. John’s parents came down to help – yeah, did I mention already that I am going to have the best, sweetest, coolest in-laws ever? [One thing about having been married already, the in-law thing is WAY more important of a factor than my twenty-something self ever would have considered].

My mother is also here. Or as I call her, the crazy painting lady. Moving from house to house and renovating them with six kids in tow will do that to you. Anyway, she spent about 7 hours in my breakfast nook the other day. I’m not sure what she was doing but the woodwork looks amazing, smooth, clean, sanded down and caulked. She’s also been putting up with me at my worst. Even at 1:00 am when the fumes from the oil-based primer I bought on accident have us both scared for our lives. And then in the morning when we wake up so sore and I’m grumbling something about wearing the same shirt for three days straight and wanting to strangle a baby bunny.

John Bear has been slammed all week preparing to defend his Masters Thesis. A huge deal and I’m so proud of him. And even though he feels really, really guilty for not being here I am secretly glad he’s not–it could have been ugly. After John defends today he’s bringing back up the little Benjamin who has been hiding away at his Dad’s, enjoying the care-free oblivion that is early childhood. A move? Oh, don’t worry about that the magic elves will take care of everything. When he gets back he’ll find a brand new room with a brand new bunk bed, the one big piece of furniture John and I agreed to buy for the new house. Did I already tell you how much I love that man?

I’ll also be playing this song… it’s been on repeat in my head all week, amidst the paint cans and the never ending walls. I’ll have pictures next week.

Bye, Bye Daddy?

mssinglemama — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 06:28:33 +0000

“I talked to someone who works with your ex’s girlfriend,” my friend said.

“Really? And?”

“She is acting all excited saying he bought a new car and they are all moving to Canada – together.”

My face lit up and then crumbled all at once. Certainly, it must have. I can’t hide anything. It’s annoying. Hearing that felt something like this: conflicted excitement that he’ll finally be completely gone instead of partially gone and then total horror at the idea of him taking them with him – his girlfriend and her six-year-old son.

“When?” I asked.

“She said it would be in a few weeks or something.”

I called Benjamin’s father later this afternoon. Small talk first – brief small talk – and then:

“So? Have you been thinking about Canada? Have you made up your mind?”

“I can’t talk right now. We’re really busy.”

“Well, call me back when you get off. I want to talk about this.”

Still no call.

Just waiting now in the quiet of our apartment. I’m at the precipice, looking over and wondering what’s on the other side.

I also can’t believe another single mom is actually choosing my worst nightmare and taking her son along for the ride. For a man who won’t even let her son call him Daddy.

How can some of us be so tragically blind?

I shudder to think of what that boy’s future holds. Why can’t I save him? Why do women make decisions like this? For men? Really? And the worst thought of all – I brought him here, I led him to her through some kind of twisted fate. And now instead of my son – who I’ve saved – it will be another boy.

—–

Today a building that spans over most of an entire block caught fire in my little neighborhood. We missed the entire thing because we’d just left for an afternoon at grandma’s. Mia was home and she called me right away. The sky was black and ashes were falling on her house.

Tonight we invited my cool neighbors to walk there with us to check it out.

Here’s the alley we walk through every day in the spring, summer and fall… and there’s little Benjamin loving the snow.

It usually leads us to some of our favorite shops and boutiques (and my favorite hair salon) but tonight here’s what we saw.

That ice on the trees is frozen water from the fire hoses. Unbelievable. It was all there, just this morning.

P.S.

I met his father at a restaurant behind the right fire truck nearly five years ago. Is it a total coincidence the very spot is covered in ash and soot right now? Definitely. But still… there’s some serious symbolism for you. Weird.

The rest of this story can be found in these posts:

Can this city girl handle the burbs?

mssinglemama — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 02:34:12 +0000

I’ve officially launched my house hunt.

The neighborhood in my sights is a suburb. The houses are adorable. There are plenty in my price range (thanks to the housing bubble burst) and the schools are top-notch. It’s not a cookie-cutter suburb, it’s an old suburb, but a suburb nonetheless.

Tomorrow I am cramming three house viewings into my lunch break. So tonight I popped Benjamin in the car for a little trip … our mission to get a feel for the neighborhood in the evening.

First we stopped and looked at a few houses from the street, like this one!

Benjamin said, “House, house!” I looked back at him in his little carseat, “You want that one baby?”

“Ya!” he yelped.

“Okay, honey, we’ll see…whatever you want my little angel.” Then he threw his sippy cup at my head and shattered the moment entirely. But, hey, it was still cute.

We stopped at the park, just a quick walk away from the house. Unlike my downtown park this one was bursting with families, some rebel teens smoking cigarrettes and little girls climbing trees. Pleasantville. I asked a mom how she liked it here.

“Oh, it’s fantastic. We’ve been here for five years.”

“What about getting downtown, is that a pain?” I asked.

“Downtown! We never go downtown. We’re always here.” Always here. Here, in the suburbs, how is that possible? What about the coffee shops, the street musicians, the bars…the art galleries? But then I looked at her daughter and all of the other happy kids. They were safe. Cozy. Comfortable.

And then….Benjamin discovered the rock climbing wall. One you can only find in a super, duper fancy suburb neighborhood. And then he started climbing…

And climbing…

Until he reached the top. All by his little two-year-old self. The happy married couples were shocked. “That was pretty impressive!” Yep. That’s my kid. This is just SO funny because his day care ladies, my mom, his dad – everyone who knows him always jokes “This kid is going to be a mountain climber or something.”

So after relishing in the glow of the Pleasantville playground we jumped in the car for one more spin around the neighborhood. On one street I actually had to pull over because there were at least 20 kids outside playing – in the street! Just like when I was a kid. Amazing.

I called my older sister tonight. Told her how torn I am about the idea of moving to the burbs and she said, “You know what? The kids are happier. They just are. And sure the parents are kind of stuck out there but it’s so good for the kids.”

So what do you think… a hip single mama out in the suburbs? Can it happen? Will I go nuts out there? And isn’t that house adorable!!! [I'm seeing it on Thursday]