by mssinglemama on February 24, 2010
“Mommy.”
“Yeah, Benjamin.”
“You have a tattoo on your butt. That’s funny. Ha. Ha. So funny.”
“Well, it’s not really on my butt.”
“Yes, yes it is Mommy! Look!”
“Okay, that’s enough, keep your hands off of me.”
——–
“Mommy.”
“Yeah, what’s up Benjamin?”
“I want to lift your car off the ground tomorrow morning. Before I go to school.”
“Okay, you can try.”
“No, I’m not going to try – I am going to lift your car.”
“Okay, Sweetie. But first go to sleep. In the morning you can try.”
“Not try Mommy!”
“Alright, alright – you will lift my car tomorrow morning. Now GO TO BED.”
——-
“Mama?”
“Yeah.”
“Is John Bear coming over later.”
“Yeah, he is. Probably in about 30 minutes.”
“Is he coming over forever, Mommy? Like, forever, like he’s never going to leave?”
“I don’t know, Honey. Hey – let’s go upstairs and play before he gets here?”
“Okay. Sure. Hey, good idea Mommy, that’s a really good idea.”
——-
“Mommy, I hate school.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I hate school.”
“Do you know what hate means?”
“No.”
“Do you like school?”
“Yeah, I like school.”
“Cool.”
by mssinglemama on January 25, 2009
A girl has to get her hair cut.
Especially when she’s leaving on a fun weekend escapade in six days (more on that later).
Unable to find a sitter, I decided earlier this week (thanks to my Twitter peeps) to just take Benjamin to the salon with me. The place, right down the street from our apartment, is an industrial type of salon and also doubles as a barber shop. Not your average frou frou place and being edgy and alternative I figured Benjamin would be welcome there. I’ve also been going there for four years, maybe more.
I even asked when I made my appointment – just to be sure, “Is it okay if I bring my two-year-old with me?”
“Of course!”
I packed up a book, a few toys, a coloring book with crayons and some treats and we headed to the salon. After my shampoo and two minutes into the actual cut (half of my hair was 2.5 inches shorter than the rest) the salon owner came up to me and told me very shortly, “Is there anyway you can do anything about this? We can’t have him running around like this.”
I said, “I can try.”
But I knew it was impossible. Hell, I was just happy Benjamin wasn’t throwing a tantrum or breaking things. From my point of view, his crawling around beneath my legs and gabbing with salon patrons was excellent behavior. Given this, if half my hair weren’t gone I would have walked out that moment.
So the hair cut went on and so did Benjamin – my little rascal.
See him there on the floor… being sweet and having fun.
The entire time I’m now very well aware of the owner’s glare.
From the front of the small shop and even while she sat in the back and ate her lunch, she was scowling and shaking her head. The rest of the staff members, including my stylist, were incredibly cool about it – playing with him, picking up his crayons when he dropped them in the middle of the floor, telling me it was “cool” and “not to worry.”
In the meantime I’m realizing painfully that my son is not ready for a hair salon. I feel bad, actually, and decide that this won’t be happening again– for years. I even consider tipping everyone in the place.
One hour later my hair cut is finished and I jump out of the chair.
“Time to go Benjamin, c’mon baby.”
I’m paying, gathering my stuff – frantically almost. I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
When I turn around she is standing within six inches of my face. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on August 6, 2008
Funny how little I care after seeing him in that much pain. Glad it’s gone. Sayonara dead tooth. Too bad though. Especially after all of the hard work Benjamin put into getting them in the first place… here is teething at 5-months… [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on May 8, 2008
If you didn’t see Dooce’s interview on the Today Show, watch it here.
You’ll hear Kathie Lee Gifford admit she doesn’t even use computers and then proceed to tell Heather B. Armstrong, “I have mixed emotions about it (her blog), I have to be honest with you – you seem like a lovely lady – but there’s something that worries me about it…the safety issue of putting your kids online.”
Heather (who looked hot!) then tries to throw it back on her…”well, you live in New York City and you walk down the street…”
Then they cut Dooce off and ended the story. So far no post from Dooce but she did say this on Twitter right after the interview:
“I am not going to twitter what I’m thinking right now. I AM SHOWING RESTRAINT, INTERNET”
Can’t wait to read her slam.
And by the way, here’s Kathie Lee Gifford’s “blog” – which we can now safely assume is a total fake. Too bad the producers didn’t prep her before the show – “Kathie Lee, don’t forget – you have your own blog.” Oops.
Long live mommy blogs and Dooce.
UPDATE – Check out Dooce’s interview on Nightline. Much, much better.
[Photo Credit and Caption: Kathie Lee Gifford and Hode Kotb]
by mssinglemama on April 29, 2008
This weekend Benjamin discovered that if he took his tricycle to the top of our front yard he could zoom all the way down the little hill, down the driveway and then take a hard right turn onto the sidewalk. He nearly flipped twice. So after his nap on Saturday it was off to Target - to find a safe replacement – one with rubber wheels and more weight.
Our pick: the Huffy Thomas Lo Rider Bicycle.
When Benjamin saw the box he started jumping up and down, “Train! Thomas! Traaaiinnn…chooooo…biiiikkkkkeee! More? More? More?”
“Okay, baby.” I know, I know – I’m a sucker.
But it’s only the Thomas obsession. Gets me every time. And the box said it had rubber coated wheels. It’ll do, and if not, I’ll just sell it on Craigslist and find a different one.
So we buy it. We come home, jump out of the car and open the box. His two-year-old ameba brain is, of course, expecting a bike to pop out. Mine is more prepared. I have my little screw driver, my hammer (don’t know why I grabbed a hammer) and some scissors.
And then, there it is. A pile of pieces. This is easy? I tried to breath, it had been a long day…a very long day. And for a split moment I actually wished I had a husband to help. But I sucked it up and dove in.
The two page instruction manual was useless. There weren’t even clear labels or illustrations of each part. Yes, guys, I need them to tell me what each little screw, nut and bolt is. Then Benjamin took off with the bicycle seat and two tires. He stopped at the front porch where he knelt down and started hammering the tires ferociously into the pavement. BANG. BANG. BANG. I think he was trying to help.
But not even Benjamin could save me from the Thomas Lo Rider. I had to give up. He didn’t even mind. He knew it was a piece of junk anyway. So we piled all of the pieces back into the box and now they’re in the trunk of my car. I’m trying to simmer down a bit before I bring it or should I say them back to Target.
Do the people who make these products actually open them up and try to set them up themselves? Who wrote those instruction manuals? WHY???? WHY HUFFY??? Big jerks.
Or…am I a total idiot because I couldn’t put this thing together?
