by mssinglemama on December 17, 2009
Do you know what you would want from a man if he popped into your life (not what you need, but what you want)?
Here’s a starter list of some man qualities I think are mandatory before he can be single mom worthy:
1. Respect for you and the kids.
2. He should like you (a little bit) more than you like him. You should be fawned over because you don’t have time for the other way around. Soon it will balance out. But, at the beginning, you should be chased.
3. He accepts your past. I, as a single mom, have yet to make it far enough with someone who questioned my past or held it against me. I am almost certain I can pick these types of guys out from a line-up, so maybe that’s why. Regardless of how jerkdar accuaracy, avoid them like the plague. Bcause soon, they’ll be bringing up your past – the past the two of you share. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.
4. He’s a role model. No drugs. No cheating. No jerk behavior. No abuse. And, an obvious one, but something to just put out there in black and white – would you be okay if your children grew up to be just like him?
5. He must respect the “kid thing”. If he gripes for a second about the kid, or battles for their attention then – sorry! - he’s not the one. There’s a difference, by the way, between legitimate concern over not enough one-on-one adult time and what I call griping. Use this as a measure – if he sounds at all like he’s whining [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on September 10, 2009
I would never compare men to dogs. Never.
Nope.
It’s just not my style.
I love my men.
Before I found John Bear many of you called me a man-hater. But now I’m a walking talking dog and man loving machine. Yesterday, inspired by your adventure stories, we hopped in the car and went to the dog park. Being a dog virgin I had no idea what to expect.
There were a lot of dogs. A lot of dogs. Running and jumping and slobbering everywhere.
But to my surprise there were also a lot of men.
I couldn’t be sure about the dogs but the men, based on their ring fingers, all appeared to be single. And for the first time, in a really, really long time, I didn’t even think about dating a one of them. I’m so taken, it’s ridiculous. Instead I picked up the phone and called Mia, “You’ve got to get to the dog park – there are single men EVERY WHERE.” [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on August 13, 2009
When I meet a single and childless girl I feel an urge to sit her down and have a talk – like a grandmother would.
No, honey, not that one. I don’t care how cute he is or how much money he makes. No, that doesn’t matter. He may be whispering in your ear and promising to change. But he shouldn’t have to change, he should have already changed. Believe me, the last thing you want to worry about when you have kids is changing a man or persuading him to clean up his act or get that job.
The measure of a man, the kind of man you’ll want when you’re married and a mother, isn’t in the car he drives, the clothes he wears or even in the sweet nothings he whispers in your ear. The measure of the man you want is in the way he reacts when you’re both lost on a dark pine shrouded road in the middle of the night. In the way he gives you a back rub. Does he ask how it feels? Is he truly trying to take your pain away or giving up too quickly? At first he may not completely wipe away the knots but if he’s willing to listen and learn, eventually, he will. Actions speak louder than words and how he uses those words, how he listens – that is an action, called communicating.
But he has to be at least six feet tall. At least, she would insist, and blue eyes – those too.
At this point I would bite my tongue, walk away and hope against all hopes that she checks that list against logic and her heart of hearts – the mother in every girl wants a good man, one who would kill for you or, more realistically, love seeing your smile more than anything else on this Earth.
And he might look something like this guy…
Oh, you have no idea how badly I want to tell you about the last seven days of my life.
More on our grand adventure soon… I am not teasing you on purpose, I swear. I am just extremely busy trying to play catch up. Loading these pictures takes forever. Find another round of clues about where our adventure took us in the photo gallery.
P.S. I mailed the first round of silver necklaces out today. Only 20 of those left… they are gorgeous.
by mssinglemama on April 23, 2009
What if there are two men?
There’s the tiger who has no rules.
He has traces of warmth and is even very sweet but he’s healing, refusing to feel. His hurt is palpable and it makes you angry that some young childless thing broke this perfect man for the rest of us. Didn’t she see what she had?
Just one look from him can induce a dizzy confusion that makes you lose your breath. And while you have your standards and your priorities to keep, every once in a while every girl just wants some fun especially when she’s too busy for much else.
Then there’s the lion who is strong and confident.
When you meet him at the park each long arm is moving in tandem with the other, pushing his swinging children who seem light as air. They’re laughing, they’re happy. He tells you he only wants what is best for them and these words speak volumes to his single parent philosophy. When he meets your son he asks him, “What is your favorite, a lion or a tiger?”
The question seems like fate as just the night before you were teaching him the difference. He has a southern drawl and uses words, like “pardon”, that make your stomach tingle so you ask for his number. He reads your blog but rather than running away as you thought he might he calls your heart “rare”.
Now you have a date set for next week and you’re nervous already, wondering if you can possibly be as good as he thinks you are. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on December 29, 2008
Just floating thoughts in my head of what makes a man sexy (to a single mom, and therefore eventually to all women because most of us will be mothers). This man, by the way, is a figment of my imagination. And while I have dated different men who possessed at least one or more of these qualities I have yet to find the entire package.
But there’s definitely still hope – major hope! I’ll never lose that. If I compared this to my Sexy list pre-Benjamin days I think there would have been some big differences.
So here goes…
My Top 10 Things that Make a Man Sexy
1. The sight of him doing the dishes, sweeping the floor or mopping. Seriously, works like a charm.
2. Even better, him repairing broken things around the house or assembling Christmas toys or new furniture
without complaint.
3. Making me laugh.
4. The simple worn flannel shirt never fails.
5. Boxer briefs or boxer shorts – NOT tightie whities (this, I believe, is universal).
6. Picking up the check but having the confidence to let me grab it every once in a while.
7. Creative play ideas for kids (this is THE real winner).
8. Ability to express emotion and feelings without losing his cool.
9. Just a subtle splash of cologne (don’t kill me please).
[click to continue…]
