I am beyond busy right now.

Things are happening and I’m not quite sure what will come of them but I have to be focusing my attention on all of these things, and there are a few.

Namely the funky smell creeping up out of my basement and my apartment that needs to be cleaned three times as often as it used to because I am here all day long messing it up. And this week Benjamin’s father bailed because he didn’t have the $10 in gas money to get up here. Yes, a winner that one.

Did I already mention that I am busy?

So busy I can’t even write a blog post worth reading. What is happening to me? I am growing in so many ways but being a work-at-home mom is by far the most stressful and time consuming job I have ever had. Not that the rest of you hardworking individuals aren’t out there busting your butt every day but come on – could you really do what you do with a three year old jumping up and down in the same room shouting and screaming at you to transform his Transformer that happens to be covered in some kind of mysterious goo?

Sure, there are the rewarding moments like when he looks up at me and tells me, “Mommy, I love you so much, I really do.” Or when his pre-school teacher tells me what an amazing colorer Benjamin has become, “filling in every empty space and practically staying within the lines.” But I’m not sure if I can handle this stay at home, work at home mom thing.

Time will tell. While I wait for adaptation to kick in I wanted to take my new readers back to an old school video of Benjamin. I think this was one of the first we made for my little blog.

Can you believe how much he has grown? YouTube tells me that video is from June 3, 2008. He was that little one year and three months ago? Not possible. And he was only missing one of his now two missing front teeth. What next? Will he grow another arm or something?

I measured him today and he has grown two inches since July 31st. Two inches. So doesn’t that mean he is growing 1/32nd of an inch every day? Amazing. What a little shit. And he tells me so too, every day he says, “Look, Mommy! I got bigger!” He’s up to something and I’m on to him. As for you work at home moms – my hat is off to you. I truly don’t know how you do this.

Watch the rest of my videos here to catch up on what you’ve missed. And if you’re wondering what happened to Benjamin’s two front teeth read this.

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My best friend Mia mouthed this to me the other night while Benjamin and Sydney, her four year old daughter, were huddled beneath us eating cookies.

I had been talking about another adult, someone everyone in the room knows and has contact with frequently. Bad mommy. And naive mommy.

I may know a lot about being a dating single mom, but this mommy stuff – all of the rules – not so much. Mia is a few years ahead of me so she gives me pointers whenever she sees an “issue” cropping up. I welcome them and thank her profusely.

On the way to daycare this morning Benjamin started worming his way out of his car seat straps. He likes to do this because it pisses me off, I turn my head and he gets a mouth full of concerned shouts.

“Benjamin! Get your arms back in there! If you don’t – and we crash – you could go splat and die! Now put your arms back in there! Die, get it? Splat – dead.”

“Die! Die! Die! DIIIIIEEEEEEE!” shouts Benjamin.

Uh-oh. Distraction needed. He can’t go into daycare saying “Die!”

I turn up the radio. The girl on the air is so annoying. I flip the station – even worse.

“God, these people are HORRIBLE.”

“Orubleee. Orrrruble. Orub?”

“It’s horrible, honey, horrible.” I sound it out carefully. Is this okay? Where’s Mia when I need her? But he needs to know how to say horrible, right? It’s a useful word.

“Horubule!”

“Nice! You got it, baby!”

I love this kid talking thing btw – makes being a single mom much, much easier. Just have to watch it from now on. What are the MOST EMBARRASSING things your kids have repeated in public? Teach me some lessons, please …

[Photo credit]

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1. House Hunt

On hold because spring has sprung and I can’t bear the thought of leaving my cute downtown neighborhood with all of the coffee shops, parks, shops and men!

2. Finding a Sitter

I found one! She clicked with Benjamin right away – got down on her knees to talk to him and we spent an entire afternoon together. She’s coming over tonight to babysit, but alas, I’m sick! Just my luck. I’m going to have her come anyway. Might just go to the coffee shop or a book store for some much needed “me” time. A night out with my single girlfriends is so tempting (it’s been weeks and weeks) but then I’d feel even worse tomorrow.

3. The Firestation

I’m planning on making a trip tomorrow morning…if I feel better. Should be very interesting and I’ll report back immediately.

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This is the man who will always, always have my heart in his pocket.

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