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A letter to my future husband.

mssinglemama — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 03:22:43 +0000

This could be a letter to no body. To the air. To the moon. To whoever is listening. Because I may never get married again. But I just felt like writing a love letter to somebody … so why not him?

He who is a distant figment of my imagination but maybe if I start envisioning myself in a relationship I can move closer to ditching that baggage.

Dear Mr. Husband Man:

I know you’re out there.

I might be 86 by the time we meet, but at least we will have finally found each other. I can feel you if I shut my eyes tight enough. I know you will love me like no one ever has. I know you will understand me. You’ll help me open myself up, let myself go. I think your patience will compliment my impulsiveness. You’ll be the calm to my storm and I to yours.

Magic.

It exists.

I’ve seen it. Have you? Or have you just seen glimmers of it? You must believe in it though because you’re my future husband and that’s a job requirement – one of the reasons why I’ll love you so much.

The magic will be even easier when you meet Benjamin. Once you do you’ll understand why I told you on our first date that he needed to happen.

He is my everything. His eyes. His nose. His heart.

Every little piece of him started in my soul and now all of those little pieces are walking around – talking, hugging, loving and laughing – a bright and beautiful little boy with a soul of his own. And I made him! I’ll probably remind you of this often and make fun of you because you can’t make one. You’ll laugh and then maybe I’ll decide to make more … with your help.

So…where are you? When are you going to pop into my life? How is it going to happen? Will we ever even meet?

I wonder what you’re doing right now?

It’s a Monday night.

You’re probably home. Working on something. I think you like to work a lot…or maybe you’ve finished working and you’re reading, writing or creating before you crawl into bed.

I also wanted to tell you that I’m not ready to meet you yet. Almost… but not quite. I’m working on it. I am dating but I won’t settle for anything less than – you. And when we do find each other (just a heads up) I’m sure I’ll ask you out.

Who needs a husband anyway?

mssinglemama — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 03:09:59 +0000

The Census Bureau reports that half of the 60 million American women who are 45 and older are single.

In his News Day article, Peter Jackson writes that while many of the women are divorced or widowed others are “single by design.” He cites The New Single Woman, a book by E. Kay Trimberger, a professor emeritus of Women’s and Gender Studies at Sonoma State University in California.

Here’s a snippet from the article I found on SingleEdition.com:

She interviewed dozens of single women between the ages of 30 and 60 and found that most of them were leading happy and fulfilled lives. In many cases, they had been building a strong foundation that was not based on someday finding a partner.
“These women were doing all the things that were setting themselves up for a satisfying life,” Trimberger says. She says the older women seemed especially content. Some of the younger women were still wrestling with concerns about whether to have children.

No mention of single moms, but I’m sure the book addresses us …

We’ve already got the kids…so, if we are able to financially support ourselves and our kids – why should we bother getting married again? I know there are so many of us single moms struggling financially but there are more and more women who are able to provide for their families solo. Historically speaking, it’s a first.

And as part of this, living it on the front lines, I find it fascinating.

In the past single moms have been cast aside, forgotten or ignored … but now there are more of us than ever and we are creating warm, nurturing, stable homes for our little ones – all on our own. And, yes, while the ideal “family unit” includes a mother and a father who love and respect each other – I do not believe that, if I stay single forever, Benjamin will be at a disadvantage or as some have put it, “messed up”.

Read this comment left by Chem under my post, Want Men to Start Falling From the Sky?:

My parents were married for a few years. Most of my childhood was myself and three other siblings being raised by a single mother.
For years I drew my strength from my single mother, who put us four girls through college and graduate school. I saw myself as invincible, if she could do it alone with the four of us….I could do anything.

P.S. If you do need tips on becoming financially independent visit Fabulous Financials, an amazing blog by a single mom.

If you like this post here are some more on this topic:

Will our kids be worse off?

I love being a single mom

Married people are weird

[Photo Credit: Bangkok Counseling]

Husband Day Care Video

mssinglemama — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 01:50:38 +0000

Very, very funny. See? I’m not the only one who thinks husbands are a pain in the ass. And guys, I know there are exceptions, but c’mon? This is hysterical.