Here are some personals ads I found on Craigslist tonight. Went here on purpose knowing I would find gold! These are aboslutely, 100% authentic. My notes are in italics. Enjoy.

Breakfast in Bed? (Yuck!!! – I don’t want to see ANYONE at 5:00am, let alone a stranger.)

Consider getting to know me over breakfast in bed? I know this sounds completely out of the ordinary and you probably are thinking “OK I know where this is going”, but hold on. Seriously, breakfast in bed with a stranger. We set the boundaries, determine the proper attire for our breakfast in bed date and then order the food. I love the early morning hours so would like to do this between 5:00 and 7:00 am (I suppose I have just lost most of you). I want to sit side by side, pillow behind our backs, trays on our laps, fresh brewed coffee aroma swirling through the air, toast and jelly, perhaps eggs and bacon, OJ and some giggly laughter. After breakfast we get up and head off to meet the day.

Are you adventourous enough to join me?

Ugly, but Got Money!!! (Seriously? Has to be a joke. Either way it’s hysterical.)

Just to let you know, Single WM with a good job, house and things like that. There is only one big, really big problem - I am sooooo ugly, people i know tell me that I am pretty, then add laughing, pretty ugly. What am I to do with all this money I have but no one to spend it on? Guess it just a problem, but a good problem, to have if you are really, really ugly and have lots of money!

Walk and a Movie? (This guy has never slept with a human.)

I’m looking for someone interested in going for a walk today and catching a movie. Nothing serious, but just an attempt at human interaction. I would prefer someone with nice manners, who is witty, semi-dorky and enjoys conversation.

Perhaps we could even see a movie. If you’re interested send me a photo so I may verify that you’re a real person (this city is full of spambots and weirdos) and I will do so in return.

Assignment: go to your area’s Craigslist personals section and post some funny ones in the comment field … or just tell me about your online dating adventures or mis-adventures. And if you wrote these, read my tips on writing an online personal ad.

Want more? Can’t take credit, but this is hilarious – Top 10 Most Bizarre (but REAL!) Personals Ads.

P.S. Speaking of online dating, here’s my review of e-Harmony, the biggest crock out there … (sorry but I’m still mad at them for not giving me a refund.)

Related posts:

1. Does your online dating profile need a make over?
2. Online Dating: Rules of Thumb
3. Online Dating Etiquette: How to break up…virtually.

Because I’m weird it’s things like this that get me going…and I also love spotting fake corporate blogs.

Isaac Mizrahi’s blog at iVillage is tittled “Style is Free” but every single one of his posts tells you to buy something. Oops.

Are you a sucker for this kind of stuff? I hope not.

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Apparently there’s a pregnant man. Yes, a pregnant man. Warning – cheesy commercial with mom, dad and toddler before this video.

Here’s the link. If you don’t have time to watch it – he used to be a woman, changed his gender but kept his uterus and is now carrying a sperm donor’s child. He’s happily married to a 45-year-old woman. Oh, and they don’t want media attention but they’re on Access Hollywood and Oprah. Sigh.

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Move over Thomas, Mickey and Elmo! There’s a new kid on the block – Handy Manny.

Benjamin howls in outrage if I put on any of his old favorites…now it’s all Handy Manny, all of the time. And this single mama has developed quite a crush him. Yes, I think I have a crush on a cartoon. He’s the perfect man. Really. He can fix anything. He always saves the day. He’s modest. He’s cute. And his tools, they’re like this kids.

Then I found this video on YouTube and guess what? (I’m new to the block so maybe you all know this) but the character is voiced by Wilder Valderrama. Hot! Crush is now official and human.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkgZzl3mDu8

Related posts:

1. She’s pregnant. Should she tell the father?
2. Thomas would kick Mickey Mouse’s ass. Elmo would watch.
3. Elmo Death Threat. Freaky toys unite and Fisher Price sucks.