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On New Year’s Eve, John Bear’s little brother brought his girlfriend along from New York City.
The two are absolutely smitten with each other and I couldn’t help but take picture after picture of them.
Maybe because they’re so damn cute together
or maybe because I could picture them just like this walking down a busy street in New York City. [click to continue…]
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My legs were crossed and I had a pillow on my lap, my back leaning into the corner of the sofa. Working three jobs over my summer break between my freshman and sophomore years of college I liked this spot in the corner, far enough removed from the party that I wasn’t expected to chime in but close enough to hear the conversations and the laughter. I wanted to hide my exhaustion and my fat thighs. A hot summer day in Athens, the windows of my friend’s house were open and the light breeze was pulling her curtains and then pushing them back ever so softly. [click to continue…]
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A few days ago, I spent hours sorting through my archives to produce a lovely table of contents to this blog. It’s funny to put your own life into categories, but I think you’ll enjoy them.
Like Chapter 11 – “The Ex Files: the Men I’ve Dated Along the Way.”
Funny.
Along the way to what?
To meeting him.
The Bear. My John Bear.
I know it’s early. Only six weeks in. But when someone says, “I’ve been waiting 30 years to meet you,” and then looks into your eyes and tells you how amazing you are and you look right back at him and feel the same way – one can’t help but wonder – could this be it? [click to continue…]
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Larry is in his seventies but his eyes are young.
He had a major hand in creating the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway, a thriving tourist destination for Athens County and his energy seems to be endless. He’ll never acknowledge his age with words or by his actions and I find this amazing and inspiring.
We’ve just wrapped up a meeting and now we’re saying our good byes in the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau. The Bureau is my refuge and my savior. My home town, I feel, is cradling me – rocking me back to health and in turn I am enlightening thousands of tourists to pay us a visit.
Larry is lingering.
“So have you found a nice guy yet?” he asks.
Every time I meet a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of men like Gregory Peck and Spencer Tracy on battle lines or at fancy dinner tables puffing on cigarettes, he is no exception.
“No, not yet. There aren’t any around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.
The tears have been coming easily lately.
It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, even though I’ve been dating not one man has shown promise of being something.
I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen. [click to continue…]
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says my therapist in regards to my budding relationship with Mr. Man, who is – by far – the most caring, considerate and empathetic man I’ve ever been with, “This is probably because, in the past, you’ve only been with emotionally unavailable men.”
I hadn’t told her of my bad boy complex yet.
She figured that out based on some other issues I’m facing, like the loss of my father (unintentional abandonment) and my grieving mother (emotional abandonment). There are more details which, clearly, I’ll be keeping to myself.
“You may even be bored with him,” she went on.
At this point my head is shaking in agreement, stunned at her ability to read me like a book.
“I’m not all giddy, crazy, head in the clouds in love with him like I normally am with men. Instead we’re just slowly developing this deep friendship and I feel very calm.”
“That’s okay. It’s normal and very adult. You just need to re-learn some things, re-learn how you see things and feel things, that’s all. We can fix this kiddo!”
And by this she means my emotional unavailability, my inability to really trust in relationships or others.
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A few days earlier, Mr. Man and I were stretched out in my mother’s hot tub. [click to continue…]
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