You know the drill. Dinner. Bathtime. Bedtime. Clean up time … it’s when your child’s dolls and gizmos come alive in a chorus of freaky phrases as you put them away…”come play with me”… “let’s sing!”…”Kill (insert child’s name here).” Yep. A mother in Florida replaced the batteries in her son’s Fisher Price Elmo Knows Your Name doll and now instead of saying “Hi James,” he’s saying “Kill James.” And yes, her son is repeating it – over and over and over again.

Here’s the Death Threat Elmo Video:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=azXxx4K_NOc

And here’s something Elmo would NEVER do.

(Elmo in this story is the Fisher Price public relations team)

James: Can I have a new you, Elmo? You’re telling me you’re going to kill me.

Elmo: Elmo is sorry but Elmo can’t give you a new doll until you mail me away…for two weeks.

James: Two weeks? What’s two weeks, Elmo.

Elmo: It’s a really long time for a two year old, oh yeah and Elmo wants to kill you!

The real conversation (between Fisher Price and the mom)

She called Fisher Price, they ignored her. After this story aired they said they’d give her a voucher for a new doll…but only if she mails in the original which will take at least two weeks.

I put my son’s blankie in the washer the other night and it was as if I’d just ripped his heart out with a surated knife. Fisher Price should be mailing her a new doll or hand delivering one. Jerks. I am going to boycott Fisher Price indefinitely. Because that’s what the real Elmo would do.

Related posts:

1. Thomas would kick Mickey Mouse’s ass. Elmo would watch.