Does he even exist?

Well if I want him to… the first step is believing he does.

This week I was interviewed for an article for a local magazine – apparently I’m one of the Top 10 Singles in my city. She asked me a series of questions you might fill out for an online dating profile like, “Where is your ideal first date?”

Easy.

“My living room,” I said laughing,  “I hate paying for a sitter.”

“Okay and what’s the hardest thing about being a dating single parent.”

Easy again.

“Not having the time to date.”

Then she stumped me.

“What are you looking for in an ideal mate?”

I didn’t know what to say. I spend so much time telling myself why I don’t need a man – honestly, those thoughts helped me survive that first year of single motherhood and still do – that I couldn’t come up with one reason to want one. And that did not feel right.

Surely I must have one reason, I thought, or is my heart really that iced over?

Being on the spot I let my heart take over for my head (a rarity) and this is what came out, “I want to be with someone I respect – a lot. And he has to be awake… to life.”

The words were simple but in my mind I had a vision of this stellar guy who would just blow my socks off (and Benjamin’s) and just thinking about him gave me butterlies. He wouldn’t be a bad boy but he’d have other things in his life – aside from us. He’d have passions like I do. And he’d make me laugh – a lot.

This is progress. My mind is opening up a bit… to the possibility. I just have to work on that list of what I want in a man.

What are you looking for in an ideal mate? Leave a comment as a little exercise.

Related posts:

1. The Fine Art of Dumping.
2. A love song?
3. How to Date a Single Mom, Part 6