This is my cat.
Her name is Lily.
When she does come in the house, if we’re lucky enough to catch her, she takes off into the basement and hides there for days – sleeping, eating, sleeping and eating. Eventually she comes out of hiding and meows her way back outside. Her meow is incredibly annoying and she uses it to her advantage.
Then we go days, sometimes weeks, without seeing her. Reggie is tagging along, too. He’s my other cat and he’s a total jerk. He peed in my bed once, just let it all out – right in my pillow area. I had to buy a new mattress. Ever since I’ve had a hard time trusting him. When he’s in the house I’m all paranoid, I shut my bedroom door and if I see him I tell him that he “must have serious issues” to go and do “something that disgusting.”
Both Reggie and Lily used to drive me crazy on a daily basis but then this guy showed up.
As soon as Murphy made his debut along with his owner, Mr. John Bear, the cats began their run and hide, meow their way out pattern. At first I was a bit worried. But then I realized that my cats had found someone else. The evidence? Their steadily growing bellies.
“Some sucker neighbor person is feeding them,” I told John.
“What in the hell? Seriously? But I see them out there – near the house, all of the time.”
“Then it must be someone close, someone who knows they’re my cats.”
I wondered who it could be for months – feeling like their eyes were on me every time I came and went, thinking they must be thinking there goes the lady who can’t take care of her own cats. But then I realized that the cats were playing both of us, coming into the house that was open, at the most convenient time. Suckers. Stupid humans with their stupid dogs.
Recently, thanks to the cold weather and a dose of guilt, John Bear has been trying to herd the cats into the house at night. [click to continue…]
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