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Playground wars.

mssinglemama — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:37:06 +0000

The playground can be a scary, scary place.

Last week on our nightly playground stop Benjamin and I met a mom, her 6-year-old son and her 3-year-old daughter. She had a very thick Russian accent and I spent 15 minutes answering her hard to decipher questions about the area. I wrote down useful websites, drew maps and told her about all of the free music festivals. I was on my best “mommy at the playground” behavior and even thought I might make a new friend.

As we were chatting away the kids were playing happily and then the unthinkable happened. Benjamin walked up behind her daughter and shoved her. He didn’t just shove her into the ground, no, my adorable little 2.3-year-old had just pushed a little girl off of a three feet high landing.

She went crashing down onto the mulch and then complete mayhem broke loose.

Her mother bolted forward howling in terror. She scooped up her screaming daughter and ran off to check for broken bones. In the meantime, I’ve got Benjamin in a locked grip telling him that he can not push. My voice was quivering. He’s never pushed anyone before – not like that – not in the back. And then he flashes me a sly smile. A smile!

Before checking his hairline for a 666 mark, I ran up to the mom and started apologizing profusely. Then she scowled at me, marched off, plopped her daughter in the stroller and stormed away. Just like that. From friend to foe in a matter of minutes. I know she had every reason to be absolutely furious, I would have been too … but I still expected her to say something – anything.

The next day I told Benjamin’s day care about the incident. There I was describing him as if he were a dangerous object that could actually kill someone. “Just watch him on the landings, please, watch him closely.” They didn’t seem phased.

“Oh, he probably did it because there’s a new little guy here who’s been pushing everyone,” and then she added, “It’s (insert fake name), he’s Russian.”

A Russian is pushing my kid around at daycare so he pushes the first Russian he meets. It did make me feel a bit better about Benjamin (at least I know he’s not the Devil’s child) but now I’m wondering if there’s a mini Cold War going on at every playground in America. No seriously, the Russian thing aside…

Have you ever had any playground wars? What would you have done in that situation? I’m new to this mommy thing so playground etiquette is definitely not my forte. Did I screw something up?

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Daycare ladies: a tribute to my better halves.

mssinglemama — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 18:32:33 +0000

I call Benjamin’s daycare at least once a day to check on him. Is this weird? Am I one of the only parents who calls…or does everyone call? I can’t help it. I have to call every day. And when I pick him up and drop him off… I linger, talking it up with the daycare ladies. Why? Because we’re talking about Benjamin.

It’s dawned on me recently (funny how things like this dawn on you two years in) that I have no one to talk to about Benjamin. There is no one else who knows my son as intimately as I do.* These ladies are the closest thing I’ve got.

When I call I get the stats on his day. “He’s been asleep for an hour, he ate nearly all of his lunch and that’s about it, he’s doing just great!” But even though it’s the same conversation every day – nearly verbatim – I keep calling.I pick him up and we go on and on about all of his quirky little habits and cute new words or phrases. And since he started daycare this past fall I’ve noticed something – they’re all falling in love with him. He’s just such an amazing little guy – who wouldn’t? And when they told me one morning, “Benjamin is one of our favorites now!” I was SO excited. “Thank God,” I thought, “because other than me – you’re it.”

* Benjamin’s father has him for 36 hours a week and never calls in between. That aside, he does love his son deeply. And he may know Benjamin intimately…but our conversations are brief and few and far between.

What’s a single working mama to do?

What’s a single working mama to do?

mssinglemama — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 04:45:11 +0000

Benjamin is sick again! He started daycare in the early fall and this winter he keeps getting hit with sickness after sickness. That playdate I hosted turned into a big germ swap and now he has a horrible fever, night shivers, the whole nine yards. I think it’s because the other little guy at the playdate goes to a different daycare. So now he has an entirely new string of something nasty.

So this Monday I missed another day of work…I stopped counting the sick days I’ve taken so far this winter. The workaholic inside can’t digest missing so much time in the office. But I still swing into full mommy mode when he’s sick and know I have no choice but to stay home. I’m lucky though. I have an amazing job with a very understanding boss and can do much of my work from home.

What if I didn’t have a cushy job? What would I be doing right now?

One day, after a crazy night out, my friend and I popped into a Burger King for a hang over cure. It was early in the morning, maybe 9:30ish. A woman walked in with her two sons. They both ran up to the counter, “grandma! grandma!,” they shouted. Their grandmother ran around from behind the counter and scooped them both up in a hug. Thier mom stepped in, “okay boys, now sit down and be good for grandma.” The boys obeyed and took a seat in the restaurant. The mom looked at her mother, “I should be back by 1:00.” She was wearing a uniform herself, clearly off to her own job. Grandma said, “oh, it’s no problem, right Bob?” She looked at the manager of the store, he nodded in approval. Mom kissed her boys good bye and headed off to work. I thought I was going to burst into tears. The boys were swinging their little legs in their seats, twidling their fingers and starting to get ansy already. They had four hours left to go. I wanted to walk up and offer up my apartment for the afternoon. But in these moments, we usually don’t act. I didn’t. What could I have done, in reality, to help this woman? I’m not sure if she was a single mom or not, it doesn’t matter. She didn’t have a husband to save her from this moment.

I will never, ever forget seeing that and on my worst days I know that I really don’t have it that bad at all.

Sorry if this is a scattered and crazy entry. I am exhausted, have been working on projects all night. Going to crash for a bit before he wakes up again…hopefully he’ll wake up tomorrow feeling 100%. I hate seeing him sick like this.