by mssinglemama on December 17, 2009
Do you know what you would want from a man if he popped into your life (not what you need, but what you want)?
Here’s a starter list of some man qualities I think are mandatory before he can be single mom worthy:
1. Respect for you and the kids.
2. He should like you (a little bit) more than you like him. You should be fawned over because you don’t have time for the other way around. Soon it will balance out. But, at the beginning, you should be chased.
3. He accepts your past. I, as a single mom, have yet to make it far enough with someone who questioned my past or held it against me. I am almost certain I can pick these types of guys out from a line-up, so maybe that’s why. Regardless of how jerkdar accuaracy, avoid them like the plague. Bcause soon, they’ll be bringing up your past – the past the two of you share. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.
4. He’s a role model. No drugs. No cheating. No jerk behavior. No abuse. And, an obvious one, but something to just put out there in black and white – would you be okay if your children grew up to be just like him?
5. He must respect the “kid thing”. If he gripes for a second about the kid, or battles for their attention then – sorry! - he’s not the one. There’s a difference, by the way, between legitimate concern over not enough one-on-one adult time and what I call griping. Use this as a measure – if he sounds at all like he’s whining [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on November 14, 2008
I’m frantically packing.
I’ve been planning this weekend’s trip since… oh, Monday.
But I waited to pack until tonight. Smart. Tomorrow morning Benjamin, Mr. Man and I are headed down 
to Kan-Tuck-Ee (I love saying it like that) to visit Morgan (aka Modern Single Momma or, as I like to call her, my soul sister).
Morgan will be meeting Benjamin (and Mr. Man) for the first time, while I’ll be meeting her man for the first time. Needless to say, we’re both pumped. She lives in Portland so we never get to see each other, it’s been months now actually since the first time we met in San Francisco.
And when it comes to love as a single mom, Morgan is way ahead of me. She’s been with her Man in Moseley, now her Man in Kentucky since this spring and is planning on making a move there to join him this winter. Read her story about falling in love as a single mom here.
If Benjamin let’s us – we’ll be making another video. Do you have any questions or topics you’d like us to answer?
Leave a comment and let us know. If not… have a fantastic weekend. I hope you all get to spend some time with another single mom or single dad because single parent friends are life-savers.
[Photo: Morgan and I in San Francisco this past spring. Watch our video on dating single moms here.]
by mssinglemama on October 20, 2008
My self-imposed man cleanse has been sublime.
But this weekend a man held my eyes with his.
I swear he actually held them. It sounds so ridiculous doesn’t it? But the rest of the world vanished and for a moment this wild spirit of mine was completely still.
Now I’m standing over the edge of the rabbit hole. I don’t want to fall in, but I don’t have to fall. Right? I could just climb in… slowly. Actually, as a single mom, I can’t let myself fall in head first. I have to proceed with caution. I want to tell you about him. I do. But not yet… I’m going to keep this one to myself for the time being. Besides I’m at a total loss for words.
I just didn’t think a man could do that. I really didn’t. Now the big question is – will I give him the chance to do it again or keep this heart of mine right where it is.
Hello Chesire. Nice to see you again – it’s been a while.
UPDATE: Thanks to a very good point made my Single Working Mommy in the comments, I think it’s definitely fair to say my “Man Cleanse” isn’t working. See my comments for more explanation.
Back up reading:
by mssinglemama on July 9, 2008
Here it is..
Ignore the smudge and it’s perfect. Making this video was SO MUCH fun.
Morgan and I will be together again soon to make more … let us know what you think of this one and if there’s anything else you’d like to see us discuss or cover! Above all, we hope this video helps you to realize that single moms are absolutely beautiful and absolutely dateable. In fact, we’re some of the best women out there … enjoy!
P.S. A big thanks to Depot Dad (our camera man), couldn’t have done it without him. All three of us met on iHeartSingleParents.com, the first and the greatest single parent social network. If you liked the t-shirts in the video buy them here.
by mssinglemama on May 25, 2008
I bought a ticket to Denmark.
I know what you’re thinking. She’s lost her mind! She’s wrapped up in a torrid love affair with the Dane!
My little brother called me when he found out, “Alaina? You’re flying to Denmark? So you’re really serious with this guy, huh?”
There was an obvious hint of concern in his voice, rightly so. I have a reputation for “losing it” over men. I did marry Benjamin’s father just because he needed a Green Card, we were in love – hence the child – but still, it was “crazy.” I did have a tendency to go crazy over men, but now as a single mom, falling in love just isn’t the same. And I’m not falling in love with Thomas…I can’t! He lives an ocean away… but I can visit him. Besides, it’s been years since I’ve had the chance to go to Europe.
So here’s the skinny on the Dane and why he’s worthy of a visit.
Aside from my friend Mia and her daughter Sydney (who calls herself Benjamin’s sister) we have no one in our lives on a regular basis. I have quite a few amazing friends and a very supportive mother, but when it comes to the daily grind – Benjamin and I are completely alone.
Thomas and I had reconnected through Facebook recently and when he told me he was coming through to visit our college town – where we’d met and dated 8 years ago – I offered up my guest bedroom and my services as hostess.
I remembered Thomas as being completely open, honest, fun and of course, incredibly attractive … but how would he handle five days with a single mom and her two year old? I was a bit nervous as his arrival loomed. Personally, I think Benjamin and I are a blast, but not all men see it that way. What if it would be awkward? What if he didn’t like kids? [click to continue…]
