Single Mom | Single Mom Blog | Ms. Single Mama » dating a single mom

Single Mom Question: Why can’t I commit?

mssinglemama — Wed, 25 May 2011 11:02:07 +0000

I promised you a series devoted to your questions about being a dating single mom. And here is the first. This one is from April.

“I am so happy being a single mom that I find it hard to settle into a relationship.”

“I have been divorced for five years now and a single mother to two little girls. I have dated off and on during the past five years, but I find the longest I can maintain a relationship is around 2 months and then I start to lose the excitement, feel smothered and just keep thinking of how much happier I am with it just being me and my girls. There is nothing more liberating then knowing that you are on your own and can take care of yourself.

I was married for 9 years and was totally in love with my ex husband, but he cheated and that is why our relationship ended. I have healed and moved on and we have been able to maintain a friendly relationship for our girls. So, I don’t feel that it is if I am not over him, but I can’t find that spark that I had with him. I feel content with my single life. I do have thoughts from time to time of wishing that I could find prince charming again, but it just seems so much easier and less stressful to go it alone raising my girls. Is this normal? Does anybody else feel this way?”

My short answer.

I can relate. I think just about every single mom I’ve met has commitment issues. Why? I think there are a few reasons.

1). Because we have discovered that we can live happily ever after solo.

2). We haven’t found that “spark” and are holding out of that same fire we felt before.

3). Even though we may feel “over” a traumatic experience like losing a husband of nine years to cheating, there is still hurt there. We have found happiness and it seems so scary to risk ever feeling that hurt again.

So, yes, April – this is normal. What should you do about it? Keep dating. Because it’s fun! But from here on out don’t let the relationships make it to two months, eliminate them faster to make room for some of that spark.

What are your thoughts? Please comment and help April out. Do you find you have fears or commitment issues? And there is nothing wrong with just being a happy, solo single mom. Don’t ever force a relationship just because you think you “should have one.”

If you have a question of your own please e-mail it to me with the subject line: “Single Mom Question” to mssinglemama-at-gmail-dot-com.

The Must-Have Man List

mssinglemama — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 13:20:51 +0000

Do you know what you would want from a man if he popped into your life (not what you need, but what you want)?

Here’s a starter list of some man qualities I think are mandatory before he can be single mom worthy:

1. Respect for you and the kids.

2. He should like you (a little bit) more than you like him. You should be fawned over because you don’t have time for the other way around. Soon it will balance out. But, at the beginning, you should be chased.

3. He accepts your past. I, as a single mom, have yet to make it far enough with someone who questioned my past or held it against me. I am almost certain I can pick these types of guys out from a line-up, so maybe that’s why. Regardless of how jerkdar accuaracy, avoid them like the plague. Bcause soon, they’ll be bringing up your past – the past the two of you share. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

4. He’s a role model. No drugs. No cheating. No jerk behavior. No abuse. And, an obvious one, but something to just put out there in black and white – would you be okay if your children grew up to be just like him?

5. He must respect the “kid thing”. If he gripes for a second about the kid, or battles for their attention then – sorry! - he’s not the one. There’s a difference, by the way, between legitimate concern over not enough one-on-one adult time and what I call griping. Use this as a measure – if he sounds at all like he’s whining or if he’s using it against you – there’s your answer.

6. He must accept you and your space. It’s no secret that most of us single moms have commitment issues. At least I do. He should be respectful of your issues, as troublesome as they are. But respecting and accepting them and your space will lead to open communication, trust on your part and, hopefully, a happy baggage-free ending.

7. Laziness is not an option. If he has a lazy side and shows consistent efforts to be more helpful and active over time, then make an exception. But I wouldn’t recommend a guy hooked on video games or attached to the television set.

8. Kindness is mandatory. He should never raise his voice, yell or scream. Guess what? The way your ex treated you was not normal, it was not okay and there are a million guys out there who will treat you with love and respect – like an adult. Go figure. I know. News to me too.

9. He wants you to be happy. If you’re happy, he’s happy. In life, in love, at home, at work. And you should feel the same way about his happiness.

10. He talks about the future. You’re a single mom. If you want a future with him, say it. If he avoids the conversation or is at all evasive – red flag. Move on and carry on. That’s not to say a future commitment can scare him a bit, that’s okay. But if he never talks about a future with you, generally speaking, that’s not a good sign.

I hope this helps. I just feel like I can see things so much clearer now that I’ve found a good one, and I want – as usual – to leave you with what I’ve learned.

Add or refute my list in the comments.

Back up reading:

Single Mom and the Men Who Love Us
How to Date a Single Mom (the series)

Inside the Mind of a Single Mom

mssinglemama — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 16:13:07 +0000

What every man should know.

I can’t take credit for the awesome title of this article. Sherri over at SingleEdition.com thought of it when she asked me to write a piece for her website. Check it out and let me know what you think.

What did I miss? What other tips would you give men dating single moms?

If you are a man dating a single mom read my series on How to Date a Single Mom:

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 1: The original, very useful list of tips for the guys.
How to Date a Single Mom, Part 2: What to tell a man dating a single mom?
How to Date a Single Mom, Part 3: Hear from a man who spent 5 days with Benjamin and I.
How to Date a Single Mom, Part 4: Take your vitamins.
How to Date a Single Mom Part 5: How to win a single mom’s trust and her heart.

A bond no man can break. Sorry guys.

mssinglemama — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 21:57:24 +0000

Last Thursday night Benjamin woke up screaming in pain.

I ran upstairs. His body was lurching forward and backward, legs kicking. Finally I calmed him down and said, “Is it your tooth, baby? Does your tooth hurt?”

“Yes, Mommy.”

“Okay. Listen. Tomorrow morning, first thing, we’ll go to the Sticker Doctor (the dentist) and he’ll take the tooth away. Alright?”

“Okay, Mommy.” Until then I gave him some Motrin and watched him drift off to sleep.

When we got to the hospital the next morning, the dentist looked at both of us – bracing himself – he remembered us from the last time when Benjamin fought the body wrap with so much strength that he nearly broke free.

Benjamin looked at that long chair and the board they were going to strap him into and then looked at me.

“You’re going to be fine baby,” I’m trying to choke back my own tears because I hate this shit, “You will. You’re going to be brave and strong. And it is going to hurt, but only for a little bit. And when you’re done they’ll give you Thomas stickers, okay?”

“Okay, Mommy.”

And then an entire room of adults were completely humbled and awed by the strength of a little 2-year-old. Benjamin laid down on the chair, offered up his wrists so they could be tied and completely relaxed. He locked into my eyes and I started carressing his little feet – the only things sticking out of the body wrap.

First the laughing gas, which he breathed slowly, then the long numbing needle and then the actual tooth pulling. Not one of these phased him. He was completely calm the entire time. Stoic. Strong. Brave.

The dentists couldn’t believe it. Never before had they ever seen a “2-year-old extraction” go so well. Never. When we were walking out the dentist was telling the story to a group of residents and nurses, “There he is… completely still the entire time.” They were all shaking their heads in disbelief and giving Benjamin loud cheers.

Where does this come from? This strength? This tolerance for pain? From me or his father? Or maybe he just really loves Thomas stickers. We finally got into the car. Benjamin was clutching his stickers for dear life (all 15 of them – the nurses were very generous). And finally the tears came. Tears of pride. The first I’ve ever had in my life.

I turned my head and shouted, “Benjamin – you kicked ASS! You were AMAZING! Give me five!”

And he did. He slapped me a high five and nodded his head. His toothless grin all lop-sided thanks to the numbness. I love that kid. More than anything. Our bond, as he’s growing older, is becoming more and more apparent. He and I are officially soul mates, bound at the hip or connected to each other for the rest of our lives – because we are in this together.

I love it.

And when I read nasty YouTube comments from men who would never date a single mom because they’d always come second to her child, I think… “Yeah, you’re damn right you would because I’m second to him too. The kid comes first – always.” And if any man can’t understand that a child should come first – then he is a child himself.

As my mom told me the other night, “If someone can’t love a kid, than they can’t love anyone.”

Peace my single mamas.

This single mama is going to have a very relaxing Monday night – the one night of week of pure “Me” time.

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 4

mssinglemama — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 22:31:00 +0000

On Saturday night Kris came over. Yes, I’m weak. Damn it.

We met at a bar. I called him after writing my baggage post which stirred up all kinds of Kris memories. But by the time he got there my sickness, which had started creeping up on me earlier in the evening, was now a full blown stomach cramp. I could hardly stand up let alone swallow my drink.

“We have to go home, I feel sick.”

“No…,” he takes a step back, “No way. I can not get sick right now.”

This actually made me laugh because the look of fear on his face, he has a very charismatic face, and it looked like I was pointing a gun at his head. I couldn’t blame him. Benjamin’s day care bugs are the worst illnesses I’ve ever had, each one with it’s own unique set of vicious symptoms – pounding headaches, severe stomach cramps or violent coughs. It always surprises me that the little guy handles them with such grace. But not us adults. And Kris, having dated me for six months, has had his fair share of them.

I live just a few blocks from the bar so he walks me home anyway and I promise not to kiss him. After thanking the sitter we curl up on the couch. No kissing, just cuddling. So nice. I told him about the post I’d just published.

“I wrote about my baggage tonight.”

“Baggage? You don’t have any baggage. You just can’t ever hang out.”

Nothing like the clarity of a 24-year-old’s mind to make you feel like a goof for psycho-analyzing yourself. So I have two more tips to add to my list on How to Date a Single Mom:

1. Single moms can’t hang out all of the time. Take me for example, I am only available on Monday nights, which I’ve already got booked solid for the next two weeks. So to squeeze you in I’d have to find a sitter. Usually after a few dates and if I really like the guy, I invite them over for wine on my front porch (after Benjamin’s asleep). Once a guy’s in – like Kris was – I can be very spontaneous as long as Benjamin is invited. But, to a younger man, I’m sure a single mom’s inability to go out on the fly (without the kids) is a big negative. But that’s okay because young guys aren’t ready to settle anyway…

2. Pack your vitamins. If you’re dating a single mom with little ones in day care or school. And if they do get you sick you may experiences sicknesses the likes of which you could never have imagined – don’t make a big deal out of it, just take it like a man – because if you’re dating a single mom, chances are she’ll be too busy to bring you chicken noodle soup.

P.S. Kris left me a bucket by the bed and tucked me in … no drama, no crazy romp in the hay, just a good friend. And Benjamin’s illness had me on my ass for two days. Fun. One of the only times I daydream about having a sweet husband or boyfriend to take care of little me.

Related Kris posts you might like:

One Step Back, Two Steps Forward

Did I lose my Mr. Good Enough?

And my other How to Date a Single Mom posts:

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 1

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 2

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 3 (Thomas‘s perspective)

[Photo Credit: Spring Love, find it here]

Single mom for sale!

mssinglemama — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 23:50:47 +0000

It’s not easy to meet good men, especially for busy single moms.

I barely have time to shower, let alone go man hunting. We can’t go out three nights a week like our childless counter parts and if we do meet a man in the coffee shop, at the park or on a fluke night out we usually have to wait at least one week before we can squeeze in a date.

A single mom, so desperate for a “prince charming” (her words) is actually auctioning herself and her home off on eBay and Craigslist. The price? $500,000. Deven Trabosh, 42, has two daughters ages 14 and 21. After years of being single she’s thrown in the towel and has decided to sell herself, a bonus to buying her house in Florida.

“I’m struggling…I don’t want to lose my house and I want to find somebody. So I came up with this dream plan because I’ve always dreamt about being a fairytale princess,” she says.

I love the internet and everything it brings us … connecting all of us, allowing us to sell just about anything – but selling yourself? Being a single mom isn’t that bad, is it?

eBay forced her to take her ad down but she’s still getting plenty of responses including one from an Italian who is flying in to meet her. Check out the entire story here.

What do you think? Her 21-year-old daughter says she doesn’t mind but the 14-year-old is embarrassed by her mom’s actions. I wish her luck, I really do … if someone wants to find a husband than more power to them – but selling yourself and your family?

P.S. Anyone want to put money on the fact that Devon Trabosh will have a realty TV show soon?

Other posts you might like:

[Photo credit: Associated Press]

Flatten Your Fear Contest Winners!

mssinglemama — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 01:24:28 +0000

This was so hard! My fear this week has been trying to choose a winner of my Flatten Your Fear & Win a Flat Iron Contest.

1st Place Fear

“Will my daughter love my ex and his new family more than me?” by Pisces Hanna

Hanna won because her fear is one most of us can relate to but it’s also a fear many of us would never have the guts to write down. Here’s an excerpt for her post.

As soul-crushing and vomit-inducing as it was to hear “I just never really loved you”, it was an even bigger test to see the one whose ring you wore on your finger slide so easily into a new relationship. A relationship that involved another (younger, blonder) single mom and her two kids.

The first time all three of us met, it wasn’t pretty. He and She huddled together on the couch, blowing smoke in my direction while they looked over my parenting plan, scowling. She told him that my plan was “bullshit” and that he shouldn’t agree to it. He nodded in agreement. It was official. I hated her.

That was 6 months ago. Since then, the three of us (and sometimes herex) have met with reasonable amounts of civility, and I’m quite proud of the fairly low amount of White Trashiness that has been involved in the exchange. Its still weird seeing her wear his T-Shirts; the ones I used to sleep in, and think about how smooth the transition from me to her was. Its almost like the life HE had with me and LB never even happened, and now there’s some blonde girl wearing his t-shirts.

Last weekend LB cried when I came to pick her up. For the first time, she didn’t want to leave “Daddy and Amber” That was the day my worst fear surfaced. It hit me like a dodge ball to the face. Questions started bombarding me.

What if this girl is more than just the next one to wear his T-shirt? What if their relationship lasts longer than ours did? What if the engagement that never followed through in my life, magically transports to HIS and HER reality? What if LB gets a half-sibling before I ever even start dating again? What if the family that her daddy has so neatly fit himself into becomes the family that LB wants to be apart of? What if that family becomes more important than me?

Read the rest of the post and her plans to conquer this fear here.

2nd Place Fear

“Am I failing as a parent?” by Insanity of Organized Chaos

I don’t even know her name but Goin’ Crazy wrote a heart wrenching post on her greatest fear – failing as a parent. She’s the single mom of two kids and it’s not easy. Here’s the portion of her post that really got me.

Being a parent is hard, being a single parent is twice as hard. No one hands you “Single Parenting for Dummies” as a parting gift for a failed relationship. No one gives you a cheat sheet on how to answer the kids’ hard questions. No one tells you how hard it will be just to find 5 minutes to cry so the kids will not see. No one tells you how often you will need that 5 minutes just to make it through another day. No one tells you how agonizing it is to hear your kids say that daddy doesn’t love them or care about them. No one tells you how hard it is to say “yes, he loves you very much and cares about you very much” and keep the anger and sadness out of your voice.

Part 1-Check. My soul has taken a small beating but I made it.

Part 2-How am I going to conquer this fear?

Surprisingly, this is the easy part….

They are my kids. That’s it. Nothing else.

Right on crazy woman! We just keep going – that’s it. We have to. Read the rest of the post here.

3rd Place Fear

“What if life crushes my daughter? by O Solo Mama

I absolutely love this comment by O Solo Mama. It’s something we all fear and she captured those feelings. What if life throws some major punches at our kids when they get older … how will we, as parents, find the strength to stand by and let life happen to our kids despite this fear. Here are my favorite pieces of her comment.

I have no fear of my daughter becoming a teen or giving me the “look” (at 11, it’s already happened) or wandering this world without me. But I do worry about something stupid killing her curiosity and drive. A bad or obsessive relationship that suddenly makes her forget about herself? Doesn’t look the obsessive type, but if it should happen, please, God, make it quick. . .with no long-term consequences. What about some nitwit telling her she doesn’t have the __________ make it in ____________? What if she tries and fails? What if she can’t get up again? What if I can’t do anything about it? What if, what if. . .

….Right now as I write this, my daughter is playing hide-and-seek with three friends. She is kneeling beside my computer table and just reached out to pat my leg, as if to say, “No one but you knows I’m here.” So there’s my fear in a nutshell! No one else knows this child like I do. Find the complete comment here.

Honorable Mention Fear

“Can I really make it work with my ex-husband?” by Single Working Mommy

This is an open and honest post in which Single Working Mommy pours her heart out about her fears of trying again with her ex-husband. Here’s an excerpt.

Son LOVES his dad. His dad desperately wants to be a part of his life. Should I be the person who stands in the way of that just because I can’t make a few compromises? But, then again, what if I agree to jump into this thing, and I CAN’T make the compromises? And I end up angry and bitter? What if I don’t *really* love SD? What if we just get back together now, to break up a few years later when Son actually knows the difference?

Each and every one of you. Seriously. I probably went through and re-read these comments and posts 10x. I really did not like having to choose a winner…but someone had to do it. Right? Read the rest of the post here.

More mentions and some entries that just floored me:

Oakland Mama who wrote that several months after her split she still finds herself “thinking it would be better to be in that angry, passionless marriage than be alone.”
Debbie who is trying to put the pieces of her life back together and finds herself having to start all over again at the age of 41.
Lara who is worried she and her husband’s choice not to have children is the wrong one.
Emily who says her worst fear is “That my sweet, sensitive, inquisitive two-year old, who thanks people for everything and gives a thousand hugs, will transform, I won’t be able to stop it, and one day I’ll come home to find that the hole in the wall to patch is from him, or that he’s drunk, or that he broke his hand from punching something other than the wall.”
Mommy Pie who confessed that she can’t sleep in a room with empty shoes lying around (love that woman).
Erin M. who is busting her butt going to school while working and raising her little one all one her own.
Jessica who feels like she has been forced to give up her dream of becoming a lawyer because her husband is in the Airforce.

And to think – I haven’t even touched on the ways you all plan to conquer these fears! I loved each and every one of them and I thank you all so much for pouring your heart out. Many of you wrote that it helped – just to get it out there – I hope that’s true and that you come back to these a few months from now only to find that you’ve kicked your fears.

Thanks again to Misikko.com for donating the first prize, a fabulous Hana Salon ceramic flat iron.

And thanks to Rachel Sarah for donating a copy of her awesome book Single Mom Seeking and Mary Pols for giving us a copy of her new book Accidentally on Purpose for the second and third place winners.

[Photo Credit: Sethbarnes.com]

Oh me, oh my. The sparks are flying.

mssinglemama — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 02:03:56 +0000

Remember what crush butterflies feel like?

Sparking all over the place, in the flesh or online – in your head, in your heart or in your throat. They’re palpable and you feel as if you could reach down into your soul and touch them. But what happens when those sparks are one sided? Or when someone feels sparks for two people at the same time?

Lately I can’t seem to get this idea of sparks out of my head. What are they? And how can you tell if you’re both feeling them?

My case in point.

Last weekend Benjamin and I found a Brio train table, complete with the tracks and the trains at a garage sale. The price? $75.00. I had to buy it. But how would I move it? I looked at my tiny Ford Focus, my tiny and grumpy little man and then at the two nice guys at the sale. Bingo.

“I’ll take it if you can deliver it. I just live right around the corner.”

They were more than happy to help and during the moving process one of them was being particularly attentive. He had blond hair, big blue eyes, a fantastic smile and a bare left finger. Before they left he invited Benjamin and I to stop by anytime, “You know where I live!” He seemed interested… but I wasn’t.

Which led me to wonder, can sparks - true sparks – be one sided? And if they are, can a one sided spark spark another spark?

I was curious. So five days later Benjamin and I popped by his place on one of our afternoon walks. He showed us the house he had renovated solo, asked tons of questions about Benjamin and about being a single mom. I also found out that he’s a very successful architect. But, alas, no spark.

I left with his number in my hand and no desire to call him.

Two days later I met one of you – one of my readers! Julie is a single mom who has a breath-takingly beautiful 17-month-old daughter, Zoe. When we met the sparks were flying everywhere. We talked and talked and talked while the kids played. And then it hit me – Julie and the architect! They would be perfect …

I briefed her on the situation, told her I had no spark but that he might have one for me … but she, like me, is a big girl with a strong head on her shoulders and she completely understood, “I get it. It’s the spark thing. You never know.” So we set out to find out if the sparks would fly between the two of them.

When we showed up at his house for drinks the architect was immediately drawn to Julie. In fact, he was so zoned in on her that I felt like I had to make myself scarce. “You guys cool if I run and get take and bake?”

“Yes!” They both chimed.

For the rest of the night when I would try to talk he actually stopped me and said, “Wait, Julie, what were you saying?” So I just sat there and twiddled my thumbs careful not to interrupt. As soon as we left, Julie and I immediately started assesing the sparks.

“So, did you feel one?” I asked her.

“Yes! Definitely, but did he have one? I couldn’t tell.” She had a point – what if he was just being incredibly sweet and courteous, because he’s like that – maybe he’s just a nice guy. There’s one truth about sparks, you can’t see them.

“Well,” I said, “There’s only one way to find out. Ask him.”

So she did. Tonight Julie called the Architect and asked him out on a date. Yep. She did it. And I’m SO proud of her. His answer – he had a very, very busy weekend filled with mundane things he had to do but that Sunday might work out and that he’d call her this weekend to firm it up. So now we wait to see if the sparks were mutual.

And even if he never calls, which I highly doubt, at least there’s a solid spark between Julie and I – the friendship spark – the best one of them all.

Other posts you might like:

Go pick up a man, I dare you!

Will he call? On asking men out – flat out.

Single Mom Dating Tips, Part 1

Single mom dating tips, Part 2

[Photo Credit: Kate Winslet in Romance & Cigarrettes]

Boys vs. Men

mssinglemama — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 02:09:49 +0000

There are men, and then there are boys…

This weekend two boys (who shall remain unnamed) where sitting in my kitchen. I was hosting a mini after hours thing. So, I popped a pizza in the oven.

“I’m running outside, keep an eye on the pizza, okay?”

“What? What are we supposed to look for?” one of them asked.

I ignored it, assuming he was joking. Five minutes later I walked back inside and the oven was smoking. I flipped out. One thing about being a single mom with zero interest in boys…you don’t give a damn if they think you’re “uncool” or “bitchy” – especially if it’s late at night and you’ve had a few shots of tequila.

“What’s wrong with you guys? You seriously don’t know how to cook a frozen pizza?!!!”

Did they jump up to grab the pizza? No. They sat there defending themselves…they didn’t jump until the fire alarm went off – and even then, I had to tell them to go turn it off. Unbelievable.

These two boys are clearly far from becoming men, but that doesn’t mean they’re necessarily immature. Maturity is something that’s hard to put a finger on … and no matter what a boy or man’s age, his maturity level can run the gamut. The true measure of a man’s maturity is how he treats you, not whether or not he knows how to cook frozen pizza.

Enter Larry Bilotta’s Male Maturity Scale, he sent it to me after discovering my blog through the post, “Should I Leave My Husband?”. Usually reserved for married women trying to find out what makes their husband’s tick, Larry realized how useful this scale can be for dating single moms.

Here’s how it works – have four women, your friends, your family or even your guy’s ex-wife or girlfriend rate him on this scale. Why? Because your view could be clouded if you’re too close to him.

–The Male Maturity Scale by Larry Bilotta –

Baby Man

He wants his own way all of the time. You owe him his happiness. He owes you nothing. It all revovles around him. He’s obsessed with himself.

Kid Man

He can be nice sometimes but when bad feelings stroke, he can’t fight them off and becomes selfish, nasty and demanding. He may even give you the silent treatment.

Teen Man

He knows what’s right and wrong in a relationship but he can be swayed from doing what he knows he ought to do. The more bad feelings you have, the more bad feelings he gets.

Young Man

He wants to do the right thing for you most of the time but a nasty comment can get away from him now and then. He does apologize since he knows when he strayed from his promises.

Together Man

He loves you, is considerate of your feelings and your security. He thinks about what’s important to you above the demands of the rest of the world. It’s rare when he gets self centered but it does happen.

Mature Man

He’s strong in the issues of family. A man of steel who will defend you against all comers, yet a man of velvet who is considerate, thoughtful, great with kids and keeps his bad feelings under control. Never arrogant, always fun and a great listener who is easy to love

———————–

I’m thinking the Mature Man sounds ideal for us single moms … but what are the odds of finding a Mature Man who isn’t already snatched? Hmmm… let me know what you think – leave your comments and dish some dirt on your men or ex-men.

Larry is reading and will be available to give you one-on-one responses or if you’d like to contact him personally visit, Marriage Success Secrets.com.

[Photo Credit: The Sewing Bird]

Man up fellas…why? Because you’re the man, damn it.

The Blogger Gods…

mssinglemama — Thu, 22 May 2008 03:16:21 +0000

Have a wicked sense of humor.

One week ago I told Prince Charming To Kiss My Ass. And three days later, the Blogger Gods dumped one on my doorstep. And then five days later, they took him away.

Thanks.

Thanks a lot. Nice way to torture a poor, lonely single mom. I wasn’t lonely before he got here, I was just fine – trucking along my merry little way. And then – poof – there was a man here, in my apartment, cooking, cleaning up, playing with Benjamin, letting me rest, making me laugh, annoying me (just a little) and then looking at me like I was a queen.

What in the hell was that? And how do I forget that it ever happened?

P.S.

I’m sure the said loneliness is just a temporary side effect of having a man suddenly thrust into my life. Should be back to normal soon. And I would write more, but I’m exhausted. But I will give this story the credit it’s due … soon. In the meantime, I’ll be pondering simple twists of fate and catching up on my sleep.

What happens when fate throws you for a loop? I usually just ride it out … and hang on tight, but I never let go of the steering wheel. Us single moms don’t have that luxury.