by mssinglemama on December 17, 2009
Do you know what you would want from a man if he popped into your life (not what you need, but what you want)?
Here’s a starter list of some man qualities I think are mandatory before he can be single mom worthy:
1. Respect for you and the kids.
2. He should like you (a little bit) more than you like him. You should be fawned over because you don’t have time for the other way around. Soon it will balance out. But, at the beginning, you should be chased.
3. He accepts your past. I, as a single mom, have yet to make it far enough with someone who questioned my past or held it against me. I am almost certain I can pick these types of guys out from a line-up, so maybe that’s why. Regardless of how jerkdar accuaracy, avoid them like the plague. Bcause soon, they’ll be bringing up your past – the past the two of you share. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.
4. He’s a role model. No drugs. No cheating. No jerk behavior. No abuse. And, an obvious one, but something to just put out there in black and white – would you be okay if your children grew up to be just like him?
5. He must respect the “kid thing”. If he gripes for a second about the kid, or battles for their attention then – sorry! - he’s not the one. There’s a difference, by the way, between legitimate concern over not enough one-on-one adult time and what I call griping. Use this as a measure – if he sounds at all like he’s whining [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on September 6, 2009
by mssinglemama on August 4, 2008
Last Thursday night Benjamin woke up screaming in pain.
I ran upstairs. His body was lurching forward and backward, legs kicking. Finally I calmed him down and said, “Is it your tooth, baby? Does your tooth hurt?”
“Yes, Mommy.”
“Okay. Listen. Tomorrow morning, first thing, we’ll go to the Sticker Doctor (the dentist) and he’ll take the tooth away. Alright?”
“Okay, Mommy.” Until then I gave him some Motrin and watched him drift off to sleep.
When we got to the hospital the next morning, the dentist looked at both of us – bracing himself – he remembered us from the last time when Benjamin fought the body wrap with so much strength that he nearly broke free.
Benjamin looked at that long chair and the board they were going to strap him into and then looked at me.
“You’re going to be fine baby,” I’m trying to choke back my own tears because I hate this shit, “You will. You’re going to be brave and strong. And it is going to hurt, but only for a little bit. And when you’re done they’ll give you Thomas stickers, okay?”
“Okay, Mommy.”
And then an entire room of adults were completely humbled and awed by the strength of a little 2-year-old. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on July 15, 2008
On Saturday night Kris came over. Yes, I’m weak. Damn it.
We met at a bar. I called him after writing my baggage post which stirred up all kinds of Kris memories. But by the time he got there my sickness, which had started creeping up on me earlier in the evening, was now a full blown stomach cramp. I could hardly stand up let alone swallow my drink.
“We have to go home, I feel sick.”
“No…,” he takes a step back, “No way. I can not get sick right now.”
This actually made me laugh because the look of fear on his face, he has a very charismatic face, and it looked like I was pointing a gun at his head. I couldn’t blame him. Benjamin’s day care bugs are the worst illnesses I’ve ever had, each one with it’s own unique set of vicious symptoms – pounding headaches, severe stomach cramps or violent coughs. It always surprises me that the little guy handles them with such grace. But not us adults. And Kris, having dated me for six months, has had his fair share of them. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on June 30, 2008
It’s not easy to meet good men, especially for busy single moms.
I barely have time to shower, let alone go man hunting. We can’t go out three nights a week like our childless counter parts and if we do meet a man in the coffee shop, at the park or on a fluke night out we usually have to wait at least one week before we can squeeze in a date.
A single mom, so desperate for a “prince charming” (her words) is actually auctioning herself and her home off on eBay and Craigslist. The price? $500,000. Deven Trabosh, 42, has two daughters ages 14 and 21. After years of being single she’s thrown in the towel and has decided to sell herself, a bonus to buying her house in Florida.
“I’m struggling…I don’t want to lose my house and I want to find somebody. So I came up with this dream plan because I’ve always dreamt about being a fairytale princess,” she says. [click to continue…]