The one thing I absolutely love about owning a Web design, SEO and Social Media business is the variety of people I meet and interact with every day.

First, there are the three guys in my office. Their humor throughout this entire thing has been incredible and I don’t feel alone in the least. However, they have to put up with me suddenly erupting when I open John’s Facebook profile and read a happy comment about this or that. A stop at a bar or a game. Or some joke. Drives me absolutely nuts. And I have no idea why. He’s entitled to move on. Typically I am more composed, relatively speaking of course because I’m always a bit “energetic”.

But it’s only been two weeks and when I read one of his updates I feel like a mad, crazy person who can’t get a grip. Suddenly I’m saying things and and flying off the handle in front of the guys.

“You know,” they say. And then something absolutely hilarious spills out and we’re all laughing hysterically. Suddenly I feel better and get back to work.

And then there are my clients. Many of them I’ve come to know on a personal level, or it feels like I have because I love them so much. One, Columbus caterer Rich Rores, aka “The Sandman” or as I call him – my personal buddha – said to me, “Get back to normal. I don’t like you like this, all hating on men.”

“I’m not hating,” I tell him. “I am venting my emotions. I like to let them all flow out instantly. This way they don’t grow stale and rotten and then sneak up on me later.”

“I know,” he says, “You’re absolutely right. That’s the best way to do it, the healthiest way.”

And then there’s a single mom friend of mine who I met months ago when John and I were still together. She’s incredibly independent and content. You can just tell… she has the single motherhood thing down pat.

“Dude.” She says Dude a lot. And I like that about her.

“Men are overrated. I know it’s crazy but I’m happy single. I enjoy my life. I get the boys to myself and we get to do whatever we want, whenever. We don’t have to check in with anyone. And, besides, I don’t want some dude laying on my couch all of the time. Eeewww. No way, man. That’s just gross.”

I laugh at the image of some guy laying on her couch. On her couch. Not anyone’s couch, but her couch in her super cute downtown townhouse, where clearly there is no room for just any dude.

Later this week during coffee with a happily married colleague of mine she said, “I was there once too. When you’re comfortable and you just think ‘this is it, I’m happy and I’m comfortable, this is what it is supposed to be like’ and then you realize. ‘No, this isn’t right.’ It took me five years. I was with him for five years.”

Five years.

“And now I’m with my husband and I am so incredibly in love. It’s like night and day.”

And finally there’s my favorite person of them all, my dream man – Mr. Benjamin.

Since John’s good-bye, Benjamin has not asked about him once. He hasn’t even asked about Murphy. He also has been flourishing in school. A few weeks before Christmas, Benjamin’s teachers pulled me aside for a meeting about his behavior. He was acting out, rebelling, saying bad words. I was completely distraught over it. We had no idea why. I told his teachers, “We just moved in with John three months ago. Things are going great. I don’t know what it could be.”

I thought. He has a Dad now. He should be perfect. We have a ‘normal’ family.

Well… apparently, Benjamin could sense something I couldn’t and his teachers say he is back to his normal self. My sweet, sweet rambunctious and happy little boy. Seeing him so happy, seeing this visible change in him has been more than an eye opener it has been completely and entirely liberating.

Apparently Benjamin doesn’t take to “normal”. This is our normal and we’re fine just the way we are.

—–

P.S.

I’ve been too busy/coping to pimp our upcoming Sway Workshop. But it’s in two weeks on January 20th at Experience Columbus. The entire Cement Marketing team will be there to teach attendees about social media and SEO. If you can’t come, spread the word for me and share the details with your friends and colleagues.

Related posts:

1. And then we break up.
2. This land
3. Single Mom S.O.S. – Explaining a Break Up

My aunt and I were talking on the phone about my French-Canadian fiance.

We would be getting married in her back yard in just a few days. I was frantically planning the wedding so we could beat an INS deadline to kick him out of the country.

“So, do you have that feeling?” she asked. “You know how people say ‘when you know, you know.’ Do you have it?”

“No, I don’t. It’s not there. Is that bad?”

“Oh, I’m sure it’s fine. You know you want to be with him, right?”

“Yeah. And that’s crazy anyway? It’s all a risk, a leap of faith, how can you just know?”

I was 25-years-old and I was really good at talking myself into things.

After we took our vows we were standing in a dark corner of my aunt’s gorgeous yard, the laughter of my friends and family echoing, me in my wedding dress and him wearing one of my father’s old suits.

It had been a last minute adjustment. My mom had hated his rental tux so she found one of dad’s suits for him to wear. I clung to that for the two years we were together, thinking that it was a sign from my father that we should be together.

But here in the darkness I looked at my new husband and suddenly felt like I’d just jumped off of a cliff with him.

“Well, this is it. We’re in this together now.”

I expected him to hold me tight and tell me how wonderful it would be, something to that effect but we both stood there shuffling our feet not quite sure what to say or do. And it was then that I knew something was off, very off.

Given the struggles I’ve overcome since that day, I can’t help but lay the cards of my past next to those of my future and try to compare then and now. But this time when I see the two side by side there is nothing to compare.

This time I know. I am not looking for signs because I don’t need them.

“Have you ever loved anyone as much as you love him,” my little sister asked. My touchstone for just about everything, Anna and I are only one year apart but she’s way ahead of me in the love department, having met her husband years ago.

“No, not like this before,” I answered.

“Woah.” She paused and then, “Now, don’t all of those old relationships seem like a huge waste of time?”

“Yeah but I’m still glad I had them. I knew that if he ever came the rest would have just been entertaining me along the way.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. You never really liked any of those guys anyway.”

Nope. I didn’t. Not like this one. Not even close.

Your comments to my Dark Side post have been so insightful and humbling.

Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. Seriously. I couldn’t have asked for better advice. I’m taking it all in and your words will always be echoing in my mind, helping me see how wonderful this relationship thing can be, especially if you’ve found the right person.

[Photos: See pictures from last night's Clippers baseball game in Huntington Park, aka this week's date night.]

No related posts.

There are few things in life that really upset me, the Kroger Grocery Store bathroom is one of them.

If you’ve been reading my blog for these past (nearly) two years you’ll notice that I rarely complain about anything. It’s just not my style. I also feel that, despite being a single mom, I have it pretty damn good.

But this is something I couldn’t let slide.

Benjamin is potty training.

His bowel movements now control my every waking moment especially when we are out and away from the comfort of our own potty. Outside of my short time in Texas and my post-separation year at Mom’s, I have been living in Grandview, a small and deliciously sweet oasis in Columbus since graduating college.

Over the course of the past 8 years I have always shopped at the two local grocery stores – one being the Kroger on Chambers. I couldn’t begin to guess how much money I’ve actually spent there but I’m sure it’s over $10,000. And in all of that time I’ve never had to use their restroom.

That all ended a few weeks ago when Benjamin shouted, “I gotta pee Mommy!!!! I got TO PEE!”.

I dropped our cart, grabbed the kid and made a mad dash for the bathrooms. I was expecting your typical grocery restroom, slightly neglected perhaps and possessing that hard to place grocery store bathroom odor. But I was not expecting this.

This is absolutely disgusting.

As soon as the door swung open I let out a scream and then a, “gross!” Benjamin repeated me, “gross, Mommy!” I had my camera with me and being a former reporter, now blogger and a very, very, very angry mommy I took pictures.

Between these photos Benjamin actually had to use this bathroom. You can see stuff in the bowl there and on the floor in the corners, I don’t need to go into detail. But also the toilet paper and the waste can.

There’s also a sign telling employees to wash their hands. So the employees use this restroom? So sad and also disgusting that they actually then go out and touch our food. If this is what their public restroom looks like imagine what the employees restroom must look like.

I am sure the Kroger Corporation will be quite upset with me for publishing these photos but that is not my problem.

This is their problem. Making moms actually watch their little ones pee on this toilet, resting their hands on the seat – that is their problem.

I have a challenge for you – because I have a bit of a rebellious spirit, if you hadn’t noticed, take a picture of your local grocery store bathroom and post it on your own blog or to your Twitter account (use your cell phone to take pictures).

I will link to the results from this post so we can start a nice little collection and hold these grocery stores accountable. And, really, how hard is it to clean a damn bathroom?

We do it every day.

Related posts:

1. A Christmas miracle…I got to go to the grocery…alone.
2. Sweet Nothings
3. My worst enemy…