So this single parent thing … it just gets harder doesn’t it?

I’ve been put in my place lately by those single parents out there who have been at it far longer than I have. Tisk, tisk, you young newbie. You think you don’t need a husband? What about intimacy? Oh yeah – that. Well, he does have a point.

You’re not allowed to criticize the personal choice of another single parent with a word like “puke”, that’s juvenile. Yeah, okay, right again and point taken. Shame on me. I could go on.

I want to take a minute to try to explain something, to try to explain where I’m coming from because this blog is now – I think – bigger than I ever expected it would be. Somehow I’ve become the strong “opinionated” one of our little corner of the single parent blogosphere (there are more corners I’m sure we have yet to discover).

I’m not trying to be a matriarch of our “cause.” Do we even have time for a cause?

I’m just a girl spewing my thoughts – not to the internet – but to you. You’re not all walking cyborgs, you are people and you’re reading this stuff and lately that’s been scaring me. What if I don’t know what in the hell I’m talking about? As some of you have been very quick to point out.

I’m single and because I have a child that makes me a single parent, but I’m not an expert. I do know a few things for certain. The first is that Benjamin is my everything…a living and breathing piece of my soul. The second is that being a single parent is one of the hardest things I’ve ever, ever done. So yes, it does define me in a way. Single parenthood can be all-consuming. We are on our own – financially and emotionally. And you may or may not know this but I am really alone.

I don’t have a mom and dad right down the street. I don’t have a brother popping by every week to check on us. Benjamin’s father has him for 36 hours a week, never any more than that. Outside of my co-workers, I don’t have any adults in my life on a daily basis. So from time to time, I go a little crazy. It goes with the territory.

I’m not sure where this is going. I just wanted to apologize for offending any (or all) of you as of late. Please keep in mind – the thoughts you read here are just that – thoughts and they are my own. I might sound like an authority on the subject of single parent dating, but I’m not.

I’m just a walking and living experiment – learning, like the rest of us, as I go. You’re invited to follow along, but please, don’t ever take anything I say too seriously. This is my hobby, my outlet and my refuge. I don’t want it to turn into an ugly mosh pit. And I am truly sorry for egging that mosh pit on sometimes – but some of you really piss me off (and that, is a good thing – keeps me on my toes).

No related posts.

Mankind’s media landscape has been controlled by men since the first printing press spit out a bible. Oh, and if you haven’t heard – you’re a rib.

Now it’s our turn

We are lifting the black curtains, inviting other families into our lives and are finding, above all, that we’re not alone. Stereotypes, perhaps you had one about single moms before reading my blog, are vanishing, walls are coming down and we’re finally speaking to each other about our fears, our joys, our losses and our victories – or about what our kid wiped on the wall last night. Regardless of what the topic, Mom blogs are a strong voice for women every where.

And now we have a matriarch – Heather B. Armstrong, or Dooce, as millions now know her.

The first mom blogger propelled into the national spotlight, Armstrong bears the brunt of mommy blog criticism. Now that her blog is rumored to earn her family $40,000 a month in advertising, the critics are even harsher – some say she is exploiting her daughter for fame and fortune. Keep in mind Armstrong has written candidly about everything in her life since 2001, before she even had a family.

She answered her critics this weekend in a profound letter to, Leta, her four-year-old.

“I have every reason to believe that one day you will look at the thousands of pages I have written about my love for you, the thousands of pages other women have written about their own children, and you’re going to be so proud that we were brave enough to do this. We are an army of educated mothers who have finally stood up and said pay attention, this is important work, this is hard, frustrating work and we’re not going to sit around on our hands waiting for permission to do so. We have declared that our voices matter.

You are a part of this movement, you and all of the other kids whose mothers are sitting at home right now writing tirelessly about their experiences as mothers, the love and frustration and madness of it all. And I think one day you will look at all of this and pump your fist in the air.“

Thanks Dooce. Your blog makes me laugh and cry … thank you a million times over for paving the way for the rest of us. And thanks to my readers for bearing with me as I find my voice in this little thing we call the blogosphere. I’m fairly certain this is just the beginning.

My blog is about to get quite a little makeover. I hope you like it! And yes, there will be room for advertising (I’ve had requests already) and no, they won’t be ugly or tasteless. And if anyone ever accuses me of exploiting my son I’ll just breath, sigh and then e-mail them a link to their daughter’s Facebook page.

For all of you who are also mommy bloggers, here’s an article you might enjoy, “Top 5 Reasons Why Mom Blogs are the Blogs to Watch.”

[Thanks to Random and Rachel for sending me the stories for this entry...and the pic is from the Wall Street Journal]

Related posts:

1. Destructivo Strikes Again! Super Mommy Limps Away for Nap.
2. Hey, mommy…is that a man?