by mssinglemama on November 7, 2009
This is Holly.
We met one month ago when I decided to have my first manicure and pedicure in over three years… maybe four. On one of my afternoon escapades with Benjamin and just after I’d found out about my new job, I noticed a sign outside for her salon for a $20.00 manicure and a $35.00 pedicure. The sign and her low price (manicures are ridiculously expensive in Ohio for some reason) got me I made an appointment for some long overdue Me Time.
So there we were, two single moms, one in the midst of year three and beginning the best relationship she’s ever had and the other just beginning, only a single for five months with two daughters-ages 11 and 5. We spent a good amount of our time that day talking about everything from ex-management to bad boy complexes and facing your fears as a single mom.
Today during my pedicure (oh, so awesome) I pointed to a headline on one of those magazines with a quote from Kate Gosselin, “I never knew how strong I could be,” something to that effect. I read the line to Holly and then she said, “Yeah, but there are a lot of emotions along the way before you get to that point.” [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on August 21, 2009
When I started this blog I had one single mom friend, now I feel I have thousands.
I know many of you feel the same way having found my blog. Often many of you send me photos of yourselves and your little ones and my heart melts each time, especially today when I found this picture in my inbox of Robin and her son Reagan.
I wanted to share these words of her story of calling off her wedding to her abusive fiance:
It was the most stressful time of my life to the point where my hair was falling out like a cancer patient, but oddly enough, it was the most joyous phase of rediscovery and empowerment. I called off the wedding, struck out on my own … but then had to move abruptly to another state, leaving behind a life I carefully built as a young professional because my ex- took stalking to a new level of physical threats of violence. In many ways I lost everything — but in so many other ways I gained an entire world of new possibilities.
Robin is now living her dream career as a new media journalist for Zootoo Pet News, featured on the New York Post among others. Click here to see one of her newscasts and take a look at that beautiful necklace she’s wearing.
Robin’s comment reminds me of something I wrote in Ms. Single Mama Uncensored. Here’s an excerpt from the Rapunzel Complex:
[click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on July 29, 2009
My Secrets are Out…
Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love is here. But first a few words from my delirious haze. I am hoping they make sense…
Before I started writing this blog the whispers in my head, the words of strength from outside of myself were hard to come by. I only knew one or two fellow single moms and living at my mother’s for one year did a number on my social life. I was alone, utterly alone and it was uncomfortable.
I tried to find inspiration in other single mom books and while they were insightful on many levels, all fell short for me. I craved real, honest advice about dating and love. I didn’t know it then but I would soon fill that void myself and also become a voice for single mothers everywhere by shouting from the my little mountaintop: we are beautiful, we are strong and we are sexy as hell. And while this shit ain’t easy we don’t need a man to rescue us, we need to rescue ourselves.
I am not sure where those words came from. They started, I believe, as whispers in my own head or more like echoes. And then you all showed up. Your words and your thoughts inspired me to keep writing, to keep sharing my stories and your words, in turn, became the whispers in my head. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on December 23, 2008
Because it just has to be said.
Last week I broke the news that my best friend Mia’s boyfriend and the father of her child is moving out. Catch up here if you missed it.
Your responses were overwhelming and she read every one of them. Your thoughts, encouragement and advice meant the world to her and your insights were invaluable – so Thank You from Mia and myself.
Three days later she gave me this letter, “Can you publish this? Please – it’s therapeutic for me.”
Editor’s Note: On the non-capitalizing of The Other Woman’s name – “It’s not a typo,” she told me, “I refuse to give her the respect of capitalizing her first name.” Just one day before she wrote the letter Mia found text messages in her ex’s phone to the extent of, “I can’t wait to have you all to myself.” But the worst one for Mia to read, “So soon… so soon.”
Here’s Mia’s letter to the “other” woman..
To molly, The Other Woman,
I remember meeting you last year with my entire family. I am sure you remember meeting me, along with my then 3 year old daughter Sydney. I made small talk with you about college and your plans for the future like one might do with someone younger, more naive about the world. You reminded me of myself at 23. That is how old I was when I met him. And at 24 I was pregnant. Unplanned and scared, I was making decisions that would affect the rest of my life and the life of the baby inside me. So, I know we are not faceless. I wonder if you have blocked us from your memory out of convenience. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on December 12, 2008
Too urgent for a video, and I want your input.
Single Parent Dating Question #1
You know her as Tracy or Little Man’s Mom, she writes the blog A Brand New Day. I fell in love with Tracy the moment I discovered her blog because she has this spirit you can feel. Always light, airy and optimistic and she’s been a single mom for years.
If you follow her blog you know she’s found someone – very, very special. For the first time, circumstances surrounding weekend plans mean it’s time for a sleep over. Her son is 9-years-old and as she says, “he knows stuff.”
The Question: “Should he sleep in the guest bedroom or my own? And how do I explain it to him?
My two cents: Honesty, is always the best policy. Kids aren’t stupid and it’s okay for them to see their parents in healthy, adult relationships. But I know nothing of the Land of 9-year-olds. I’m still in Toddlerville where not much explaining is necessary. Mr. Man took off on a space ship by the way – to the moon. It’s a very happy place where Mr. Man still thinks of Benjamin fondly and he loves the story. I’m trying to laugh about it… in reality, Mr. Man is devastated.
Single Parent Dating Question #2
This one comes from a single dad to a 6-year-old girl. A single mom of four has caught his eye at their children’s school and well… read what he had to say (tell me this isn’t completely adorable): [click to continue…]
