Single Mom Dating, Love, Relationship & Parenting Advice

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

 

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

 

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. But I can order more if we run out, it may

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

 

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. But I can order more if we run out, it may

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. But I can order more if we run out, it may

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

 

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. But I can order more if we run out, it may

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. But I can order more if we run out, it may

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides…

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it.

I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. 

home-office-1

Hoo rah, baby. Now that’s what I’m talking about. 

No, seriously – there will be some napping, but not enough… I will be working my ass off to make this happen. But it will. be. so. much. fun. 

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. But I can order more if we run out, it will just take longer for you to get them in your beautiful, hopeful hands. 

xoxo

Wish me luck on my first day at my new job!

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

 

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. But I can order more if we run out, it may

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. But I can order more if we run out, it may

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides…

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it.

I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. 

home-office-1

Hoo rah, baby. Now that’s what I’m talking about. 

No, seriously – there will be some napping, but not enough… I will be working my ass off to make this happen. But it will. be. so. much. fun. 

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. But I can order more if we run out, it will just take longer for you to get them in your beautiful, hopeful hands. 

xoxo

Wish me luck on my first day at my new job!

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides…

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it.

I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning (like a crazy woman) and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate.

But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. 

home-office-1

Hoo rah, baby. Now that’s what I’m talking about. Naps on demand.

No, seriously – there will be some napping, but not many… I will be working my ass off to make this happen. But it will. be. so. much. fun. 

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up an shipping out all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. I can order more if we run out, it will just take longer for you to get them in your beautiful, hopeful hands. 

xoxo

Wish me luck on my first day at my new job!

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

 

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. But I can order more if we run out, it may

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides… 

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it. I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. Hoo rah, baby.

home-office-1

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. But I can order more if we run out, it may

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides…

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it.

I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

 

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate. But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. 

home-office-1

Hoo rah, baby. Now that’s what I’m talking about. 

No, seriously – there will be some napping, but not enough… I will be working my ass off to make this happen. But it will. be. so. much. fun. 

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. But I can order more if we run out, it will just take longer for you to get them in your beautiful, hopeful hands. 

xoxo

Wish me luck on my first day at my new job!

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – they say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides…

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it.

I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning (like a crazy woman) and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate.

But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. 

home-office-1

Hoo rah, baby. Now that’s what I’m talking about. Naps on demand.

No, seriously – there will be some napping, but not many… I will be working my ass off to make this happen. But it will. be. so. much. fun. 

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up an shipping out all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. I can order more if we run out, it will just take longer for you to get them in your beautiful, hopeful hands. 

xoxo

Wish me luck on my first day at my new job!
Larry was in his seventies, an old train conductor who had single-handedly revived the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway into a thriving tourist destination for Athens County, he stood at the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bereau where I worked tirelessly day in and day out to ignore my troubles at home, to earn just enough to get by and to hopefully to impress upon travelers the need they should have to visit Athens – one of the most beautiful spots on Earth.

“So have you found one yet?” He asked.

“No, I just can’t. There isn’t anyone around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracked a bit. I had just found out a man I’d had an irrational crush on for months didn’t feel the same way. I was near hopeless but trying to find some kind of words of wisdom from Larry, a man who had clearly lived life to the fullest.

“Oh, don’t you worry.  One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“I’m not sure if that’s possible.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – it definitely is.”

That was the day when I just quit looking, searching so ferociously for a match – instead I sought out male companionship, friendship and maybe more. Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

John Bear (his real-life nickname – and now yours) had left me at the bar for a moment to use the bathroom.

I traced my fingers across the rim of the glass holding the beer he had just bought me and then looked up. The men across the bar were there, but they weren’t – all of them just a blur, a wash of people. Typically I would use any escape, any moment of solitude in a bar to scope out the men, explore the evenings options but not now.

Now, in this moment I thought, I am completely satisfied. This man has left me with not a single yearning for anything else. He’s taking care of me. Not just saying he will, and not like I need him to, but he is. I felt as if, even in this bar, the bar I last had a drink with my father in, that I had a warm blanket wrapped around my shoulders.

I sink into the chair a bit and let out a huge sigh of relief. I’m being swept up, swept away, off of my feet… and it feels wonderful.

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, John Bear and I found ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wrapped his arms around my waist and we started swaying to the blue grass floating through the room.

You would think taking a zip line across a mountain canyon would be more frightening than finding the Moth Man.

But it wasn’t.

You would also think letting someone hold you and tell you he’ll be around for years, not months, would spark that bitterly familiar fear of love.

But it hasn’t.

There are no red flags.

There are no feelings of “what if he likes me, or doesn’t like me or whatever.”

There is only a man who is absolutely certain he’s found what he’s looking for and a girl who is absolutely certain he may just be right.

I can’t believe I’m actually entertaining the idea of a relationship, a forever relationship – but I am.

I think we – John (Bear) and I – deserve that much.

The hope that this could be it. That we could be absolutely perfect for each other. And yet, I’m still holding back – we both are – as we slowly get to know each other.

All in good time, we say.

Next weekend he’s taking me to a family wedding.

Typically the idea alone would cause me to cringe a million times over. Meeting the entire family at once and at a wedding? But not this time. This time I am incredibly excited about it… for a few reasons: I know if we’re together it will be fun and I genuinely can’t wait to meet his family.

I know I’m going to love all of them because they each had a hand in creating this awesome guy who is actually managing to sweep me off of my feet – something I didn’t know was possible, until now.

—–
Larry is in his seventies, an old train conductor who had single-handedly revived the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway into a thriving tourist destination for Athens County, he stands at the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau where I work tirelessly day in and day out to ignore my troubles at home, to earn just enough to get by and to hopefully enlighten a lucky few that Athens is definitely a place they should be visiting.

“So have you found one yet?” he asks with his slight southern drawl and hint of World War II era play boy. I spent endless hours watching AMC as a teenager and every time I see a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart on battle lines or behind bars puffing on cigarettes and courting their women.

“No, I’m trying but I just can’t. There isn’t anyone around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.

My tears have been coming easy lately.

It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, not even one man has shown promise of being something. I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen.

“Don’t you worry, Beautiful. One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“Really? A man can do that? I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I’m looking up at him now wondering how I must appear, as a damsel in distress with the flowered skirt to match. But even though I look the damsel, someone who could potentially be swept up into a romantic whirlwind, I am a single mother. I have a one-year-old at home who I can’t stop thinking about, not even if I try. Can a man really ever understand that or fit into that life? 

The reality of my life smacks into the forefront and I shake my head.

“No, Larry, it’s not possible… not unless he can change diapers and be woken up in the middle of the night.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – trust me on this one, it definitely is. Just you wait.”

And with that I just quit looking, searching so ferociously for a match. Instead I decided that day to seek out male companionship, friendship and maybe more.

Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

The Bear leaves me at the bar for a second to use the bathroom.

I trace my fingers across the rim of the glass holding my beer. The men across the bar are there, starring. I can see them but they are just a blur, a wash of people. Typically I would meet their eyes if even for a fleeting moment just to see if I could catch that spark, that thing I had been dreaming of for so many years, that feeling I had yet to experience. But now, I keep my eyes down and a slight smile creeps across my face and then grows wider.

I can’t contain it anymore, not even in a bar filled with men. 

I’m being swept. 

He’s completely endearing, fascinatingly intelligent, funny as hell and totally adorable. He also has drive, passion and a humor for life. He’s all of these things but there’s something else… he cares. 

Suddenly an entirely new feeling creeps up on me.

It’s the feeling of having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the feeling of being absolutely satisfied, filled up, rested, cared for, loved… whatever it is I like it and I sink into my bar stool and let out a sigh of relief. And then he’s there, his arm wraps around my shoulder and he says, “you okay?”

“Definitely,” I smile.

“Oh, I know that look,” he says, “that’s a look I like.”

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, the Bear and I find ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and we start swaying to the blue grass music floating through the room. Then he leans in and kisses my neck, then my cheek and then my lips. 

“Stop,” I say, “what about all of the others, I feel bad – they don’t have this – and I don’t want to be that couple.” 

“Screw them,” he says, “it’s our turn now. It’s our turn to be happy.” 

—-

Back up reading: 

Larry is in his seventies, an old train conductor who had single-handedly revived the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway into a thriving tourist destination for Athens County, he stands at the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau where I work tirelessly day in and day out to ignore my troubles at home, to earn just enough to get by and to hopefully enlighten a lucky few that Athens is definitely a place they should be visiting.

“So have you found one yet?” he asks with his slight southern drawl and hint of World War II era play boy. I spent endless hours watching AMC as a teenager and every time I see a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart on battle lines or behind bars puffing on cigarettes and courting their women.

“No, I’m trying but I just can’t. There isn’t anyone around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.

My tears have been coming easy lately.

It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, not even one man has shown promise of being something. I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen.

“Don’t you worry, Beautiful. One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“Really? A man can do that? I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I’m looking up at him now wondering how I must appear, as a damsel in distress with the flowered skirt to match. But even though I look the damsel, someone who could potentially be swept up into a romantic whirlwind, I am a single mother. I have a one-year-old at home who I can’t stop thinking about, not even if I try. Can a man really ever understand that or fit into that life? 

The reality of my life smacks into the forefront and I shake my head.

“No, Larry, it’s not possible… not unless he can change diapers and be woken up in the middle of the night.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – trust me on this one, it definitely is. Just you wait.”

And with that I just quit looking, searching so ferociously for a match. Instead I decided that day to seek out male companionship, friendship and maybe more.

Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

The Bear leaves me at the bar for a second to use the bathroom.

I trace my fingers across the rim of the glass holding my beer. The men across the bar are there, starring. I can see them but they are just a blur, a wash of people. Typically I would meet their eyes if even for a fleeting moment just to see if I could catch that spark, that thing I had been dreaming of for so many years, that feeling I had yet to experience. But now, I keep my eyes down and a slight smile creeps across my face and then grows wider.

I can’t contain it anymore, not even in a bar filled with men. 

I’m being swept. 

He’s completely endearing, fascinatingly intelligent, funny as hell and totally adorable. He also has drive, passion and a humor for life. He’s all of these things but there’s something else… he cares. 

Suddenly an entirely new feeling creeps up on me.

It’s the feeling of having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the feeling of being absolutely satisfied, filled up, rested, cared for, loved… whatever it is I like it and I sink into my bar stool and let out a sigh of relief. And then he’s there, his arm wraps around my shoulder and he says, “you okay?”

“Definitely,” I smile.

“Oh, I know that look,” he says, “that’s a look I like.”

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, the Bear and I find ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and we start swaying to the blue grass music floating through the room. Then he leans in and kisses my neck, then my cheek and then my lips. 

“Stop,” I say, “what about all of the others, I feel bad – they don’t have this – and I don’t want to be that couple.” 

“Screw them,” he says, “it’s our turn now. It’s our turn to be happy.” 

—-

Back up reading: 

Larry is in his seventies, an old train conductor who had single-handedly revived the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway into a thriving tourist destination for Athens County, he stands at the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau where I work tirelessly day in and day out to ignore my troubles at home, to earn just enough to get by and to hopefully enlighten a lucky few that Athens is definitely a place they should be visiting.

“So have you found one yet?” he asks with his slight southern drawl and hint of World War II era play boy. I spent endless hours watching AMC as a teenager and every time I see a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart on battle lines or behind bars puffing on cigarettes and courting their women.

“No, I’m trying but I just can’t. There isn’t anyone around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.

My tears have been coming easy lately.

It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, not even one man has shown promise of being something. I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen.

“Don’t you worry, Beautiful. One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“Really? A man can do that? I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I’m looking up at him now wondering how I must appear, as a damsel in distress with the flowered skirt to match. But even though I look the damsel, someone who could potentially be swept up into a romantic whirlwind, I am a single mother. I have a one-year-old at home who I can’t stop thinking about, not even if I try. Can a man really ever understand that or fit into that life? 

The reality of my life smacks into the forefront and I shake my head.

“No, Larry, it’s not possible… not unless he can change diapers and be woken up in the middle of the night.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – trust me on this one, it definitely is. Just you wait.”

And with that I just quit looking, searching so ferociously for a match. Instead I decided that day to seek out male companionship, friendship and maybe more.

Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

The Bear leaves me at the bar for a second to use the bathroom.

I trace my fingers across the rim of the glass holding my beer. The men across the bar are there, starring. I can see them but they are just a blur, a wash of people. Typically I would meet their eyes if even for a fleeting moment just to see if I could catch that spark, that thing I had been dreaming of for so many years, that feeling I had yet to experience. But now, I keep my eyes down and a slight smile creeps across my face and then grows wider.

I can’t contain it anymore, not even in a bar filled with men. 

I’m being swept. 

He’s completely endearing, fascinatingly intelligent, funny as hell and totally adorable. He also has drive, passion and a humor for life. He’s all of these things but there’s something else… he cares. 

Suddenly an entirely new feeling creeps up on me.

It’s the feeling of having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the feeling of being absolutely satisfied, filled up, rested, cared for, loved… whatever it is I like it and I sink into my bar stool and let out a sigh of relief. And then he’s there, his arm wraps around my shoulder and he says, “you okay?”

“Definitely,” I smile.

“Oh, I know that look,” he says, “that’s a look I like.”

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, the Bear and I find ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and we start swaying to the blue grass music floating through the room. Then he leans in and kisses my neck, then my cheek and then my lips. 

“Stop,” I say, “what about all of the others, I feel bad – they don’t have this – and I don’t want to be that couple.” 

“Screw them,” he says, “it’s our turn now. It’s our turn to be happy.” 

—-

Back up reading: 

Larry is in his seventies, an old train conductor who had single-handedly revived the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway into a thriving tourist destination for Athens County, he stands at the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau where I work tirelessly day in and day out to ignore my troubles at home, to earn just enough to get by and to hopefully enlighten a lucky few that Athens is definitely a place they should be visiting.

“So have you found one yet?” he asks with his slight southern drawl and hint of World War II era play boy. I spent endless hours watching AMC as a teenager and every time I see a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart on battle lines or behind bars puffing on cigarettes and courting their women.

“No, I’m trying but I just can’t. There isn’t anyone around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.

My tears have been coming easy lately.

It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, not even one man has shown promise of being something. I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen.

“Don’t you worry, Beautiful. One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“Really? A man can do that? I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I’m looking up at him now wondering how I must appear, as a damsel in distress with the flowered skirt to match. But even though I look the damsel, someone who could potentially be swept up into a romantic whirlwind, I am a single mother. I have a one-year-old at home who I can’t stop thinking about, not even if I try. Can a man really ever understand that or fit into that life? 

The reality of my life smacks into the forefront and I shake my head.

“No, Larry, it’s not possible… not unless he can change diapers and be woken up in the middle of the night.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – trust me on this one, it definitely is. Just you wait.”

And with that I just quit looking, searching so ferociously for a match. Instead I decided that day to seek out male companionship, friendship and maybe more.

Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

The Bear leaves me at the bar for a second to use the bathroom.

I trace my fingers across the rim of the glass holding my beer. The men across the bar are there, starring. I can see them but they are just a blur, a wash of people. Typically I would meet their eyes if even for a fleeting moment just to see if I could catch that spark, that thing I had been dreaming of for so many years, that feeling I had yet to experience. But now, I keep my eyes down and a slight smile creeps across my face and then grows wider.

I can’t contain it anymore, not even in a bar filled with men. 

I’m being swept. 

He’s completely endearing, fascinatingly intelligent, funny as hell and totally adorable. He also has drive, passion and a humor for life. He’s all of these things but there’s something else… he cares. 

Suddenly an entirely new feeling creeps up on me.

It’s the feeling of having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the feeling of being absolutely satisfied, filled up, rested, cared for, loved… whatever it is I like it and I sink into my bar stool and let out a sigh of relief. And then he’s there, his arm wraps around my shoulder and he says, “you okay?”

“Definitely,” I smile.

“Oh, I know that look,” he says, “that’s a look I like.”

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, the Bear and I find ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and we start swaying to the blue grass music floating through the room. Then he leans in and kisses my neck, then my cheek and then my lips. 

“Stop,” I say, “what about all of the others, I feel bad – they don’t have this – and I don’t want to be that couple.” 

“Screw them,” he says, “it’s our turn now. It’s our turn to be happy.” 

—-

Back up reading: 

Larry is in his seventies, an old train conductor who had single-handedly revived the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway into a thriving tourist destination for Athens County, he stands at the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau where I work tirelessly day in and day out to ignore my troubles at home, to earn just enough to get by and to hopefully enlighten a lucky few that Athens is definitely a place they should be visiting.

“So have you found one yet?” he asks with his slight southern drawl and hint of World War II era play boy. I spent endless hours watching AMC as a teenager and every time I see a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart on battle lines or behind bars puffing on cigarettes and courting their women.

“No, I’m trying but I just can’t. There isn’t anyone around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.

My tears have been coming easy lately.

It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, not even one man has shown promise of being something. I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen.

“Don’t you worry, Beautiful. One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“Really? A man can do that? I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I’m looking up at him now wondering how I must appear, as a damsel in distress with the flowered skirt to match. But even though I look the damsel, someone who could potentially be swept up into a romantic whirlwind, I am a single mother. I have a one-year-old at home who I can’t stop thinking about, not even if I try. Can a man really ever understand that or fit into that life? 

The reality of my life smacks into the forefront and I shake my head.

“No, Larry, it’s not possible… not unless he can change diapers and be woken up in the middle of the night.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – trust me on this one, it definitely is. Just you wait.”

And with that I just quit looking, searching so ferociously for a match. Instead I decided that day to seek out male companionship, friendship and maybe more.

Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

The Bear leaves me at the bar for a second to use the bathroom.

I trace my fingers across the rim of the glass holding my beer. The men across the bar are there, starring. I can see them but they are just a blur, a wash of people. Typically I would meet their eyes if even for a fleeting moment just to see if I could catch that spark, that thing I had been dreaming of for so many years, that feeling I had yet to experience. But now, I keep my eyes down and a slight smile creeps across my face and then grows wider.

I can’t contain it anymore, not even in a bar filled with men. 

I’m being swept. 

He’s completely endearing, fascinatingly intelligent, funny as hell and totally adorable. He also has drive, passion and a humor for life. He’s all of these things but there’s something else… he cares. 

Suddenly an entirely new feeling creeps up on me.

It’s the feeling of having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the feeling of being absolutely satisfied, filled up, rested, cared for, loved… whatever it is I like it and I sink into my bar stool and let out a sigh of relief. And then he’s there, his arm wraps around my shoulder and he says, “you okay?”

“Definitely,” I smile.

“Oh, I know that look,” he says, “that’s a look I like.”

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, the Bear and I find ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and we start swaying to the blue grass music floating through the room. Then he leans in and kisses my neck, then my cheek and then my lips. 

“Stop,” I say, “what about all of the others, I feel bad – they don’t have this – and I don’t want to be that couple.” 

“Screw them,” he says, “it’s our turn now. It’s our turn to be happy.” 

—-

Back up reading: 

Larry is in his seventies but his eyes are young.

He had a major hand in creating the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway, a thriving tourist destination for Athens County and his energy seems to be endless. He’ll never acknowledge his age with words or by his actions, I find this amazing and inspiring.

We’ve just wrapped up a meeting and now we’re saying our good byes in the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau. The Bureau is my refuge, my savior, the place where I can escape the reality of my life and feel normal, feel like everything will be okay. The salary gives me enough to get by and the job gives me the chance to market my home town to thousands of soon to be enlightened tourists.

We live in a secret patch on the Earth that very few know about.

Larry is lingering. I don’t mind.

“So have you found one yet?” he asks with his slight southern drawl and hint of World War II era playboy.

I spent countless hours watching AMC as a teenager and every time I see a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart on battle lines or sitting at bars or fancy dinner tables puffing on cigarettes and courting their women.

“No, not yet. There aren’t any men around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.

My tears have been coming easily lately.

It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, even though I’ve been dating not one man has shown promise of being something.

I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen.

“Don’t you worry, Beautiful. One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“Really? A man can do that? I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I’m looking up at him now wondering how I must appear, as a damsel in distress with the flowered skirt to match.

But even though I look the damsel, someone who could potentially be swept up into a romantic whirlwind, I am a single mother. I have a one-year-old at home who I can’t stop thinking about, not even if I try. Can a man really ever understand that or fit into my life?

The reality of it all smacks into me like a wave and I start shaking my head before he can even answer.

“No, Larry, it’s not possible… not unless he can change diapers and be woken up in the middle of the night – every night.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – trust me on this one, it definitely is. Just you wait.”

Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

The Bear leaves me at the bar for a second to use the bathroom.

I trace my fingers across the rim of the glass holding my beer. The men across the bar are there, starring. I can see them but they are just a blur, a wash of people.

Typically I would meet their eyes if even for a fleeting moment just to see if I could catch that spark, that thing I had been dreaming of for so many years, that feeling I had yet to experience. But now, I keep my eyes down and a slight smile creeps across my face and then it grows wider.

I can’t contain it anymore, not even in a bar filled with men.

I’m being swept.

He’s completely endearing, fascinatingly intelligent, funny as hell and totally adorable. He also has drive, passion and a humor for life. He’s all of these things but there’s something else… he cares.

Suddenly an entirely new feeling slips over me.

It’s the feeling of having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the feeling of being absolutely satisfied, filled up, rested, cared for, loved… whatever it is, I like it and I sink into my bar stool just exhale. And then he’s there, his arm wraps around my shoulder and he says, “you okay?”

“Definitely,” I smile.

“Oh, I know that look,” he says, “that’s a look I like.”

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, the Bear and I find ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and we start swaying to the blue grass music floating in the air. Then he leans in and kisses my neck, then my cheek and then my lips.

“Stop,” I say, “what about all of the others, I feel bad – they don’t have this – and I don’t want to be that couple.”

“Screw them,” he says, “it’s our turn now. It’s our turn to be happy.”

—-

Back up reading:

Larry is in his seventies, an old train conductor who had single-handedly revived the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway into a thriving tourist destination for Athens County, he stands at the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau where I work tirelessly day in and day out to ignore my troubles at home, to earn just enough to get by and to hopefully enlighten a lucky few that Athens is definitely a place they should be visiting.

“So have you found one yet?” he asks with his slight southern drawl and hint of World War II era play boy. I spent endless hours watching AMC as a teenager and every time I see a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart on battle lines or behind bars puffing on cigarettes and courting their women.

“No, I’m trying but I just can’t. There isn’t anyone around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.

My tears have been coming easy lately.

It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, not even one man has shown promise of being something. I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen.

“Don’t you worry, Beautiful. One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“Really? A man can do that? I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I’m looking up at him now wondering how I must appear, as a damsel in distress with the flowered skirt to match. But even though I look the damsel, someone who could potentially be swept up into a romantic whirlwind, I am a single mother. I have a one-year-old at home who I can’t stop thinking about, not even if I try. Can a man really ever understand that or fit into that life? 

The reality of my life smacks into the forefront and I shake my head.

“No, Larry, it’s not possible… not unless he can change diapers and be woken up in the middle of the night.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – trust me on this one, it definitely is. Just you wait.”

And with that I just quit looking, searching so ferociously for a match. Instead I decided that day to seek out male companionship, friendship and maybe more.

Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

The Bear leaves me at the bar for a second to use the bathroom.

I trace my fingers across the rim of the glass holding my beer. The men across the bar are there, starring. I can see them but they are just a blur, a wash of people. Typically I would meet their eyes if even for a fleeting moment just to see if I could catch that spark, that thing I had been dreaming of for so many years, that feeling I had yet to experience. But now, I keep my eyes down and a slight smile creeps across my face and then grows wider.

I can’t contain it anymore, not even in a bar filled with men. 

I’m being swept. 

He’s completely endearing, fascinatingly intelligent, funny as hell and totally adorable. He also has drive, passion and a humor for life. He’s all of these things but there’s something else… he cares. 

Suddenly an entirely new feeling creeps up on me.

It’s the feeling of having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the feeling of being absolutely satisfied, filled up, rested, cared for, loved… whatever it is I like it and I sink into my bar stool and let out a sigh of relief. And then he’s there, his arm wraps around my shoulder and he says, “you okay?”

“Definitely,” I smile.

“Oh, I know that look,” he says, “that’s a look I like.”

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, the Bear and I find ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and we start swaying to the blue grass music floating through the room. Then he leans in and kisses my neck, then my cheek and then my lips. 

“Stop,” I say, “what about all of the others, I feel bad – they don’t have this – and I don’t want to be that couple.” 

“Screw them,” he says, “it’s our turn now. It’s our turn to be happy.” 

—-

Back up reading: 

Larry is in his seventies, an old train conductor who had single-handedly revived the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway into a thriving tourist destination for Athens County, he stands at the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau where I work tirelessly day in and day out to ignore my troubles at home, to earn just enough to get by and to hopefully enlighten a lucky few that Athens is definitely a place they should be visiting.

“So have you found one yet?” he asks with his slight southern drawl and hint of World War II era play boy. I spent endless hours watching AMC as a teenager and every time I see a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart on battle lines or behind bars puffing on cigarettes and courting their women.

“No, I’m trying but I just can’t. There isn’t anyone around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.

My tears have been coming easy lately.

It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, not even one man has shown promise of being something. I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen.

“Don’t you worry, Beautiful. One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“Really? A man can do that? I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I’m looking up at him now wondering how I must appear, as a damsel in distress with the flowered skirt to match. But even though I look the damsel, someone who could potentially be swept up into a romantic whirlwind, I am a single mother. I have a one-year-old at home who I can’t stop thinking about, not even if I try. Can a man really ever understand that or fit into that life? 

The reality of my life smacks into the forefront and I shake my head.

“No, Larry, it’s not possible… not unless he can change diapers and be woken up in the middle of the night.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – trust me on this one, it definitely is. Just you wait.”

And with that I just quit looking, searching so ferociously for a match. Instead I decided that day to seek out male companionship, friendship and maybe more.

Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

The Bear leaves me at the bar for a second to use the bathroom.

I trace my fingers across the rim of the glass holding my beer. The men across the bar are there, starring. I can see them but they are just a blur, a wash of people. Typically I would meet their eyes if even for a fleeting moment just to see if I could catch that spark, that thing I had been dreaming of for so many years, that feeling I had yet to experience. But now, I keep my eyes down and a slight smile creeps across my face and then grows wider.

I can’t contain it anymore, not even in a bar filled with men. 

I’m being swept. 

He’s completely endearing, fascinatingly intelligent, funny as hell and totally adorable. He also has drive, passion and a humor for life. He’s all of these things but there’s something else… he cares. 

Suddenly an entirely new feeling creeps up on me.

It’s the feeling of having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the feeling of being absolutely satisfied, filled up, rested, cared for, loved… whatever it is I like it and I sink into my bar stool and let out a sigh of relief. And then he’s there, his arm wraps around my shoulder and he says, “you okay?”

“Definitely,” I smile.

“Oh, I know that look,” he says, “that’s a look I like.”

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, the Bear and I find ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and we start swaying to the blue grass music floating through the room. Then he leans in and kisses my neck, then my cheek and then my lips. 

“Stop,” I say, “what about all of the others, I feel bad – they don’t have this – and I don’t want to be that couple.” 

“Screw them,” he says, “it’s our turn now. It’s our turn to be happy.” 

—-

Back up reading: 

Larry is in his seventies but his eyes are young.

He had a major hand in creating the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway, a thriving tourist destination for Athens County and his energy seems to be endless. He’ll never acknowledge his age with words or by his actions, I find this amazing and inspiring.

We’ve just wrapped up a meeting and now we’re saying our good byes in the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau. The Bureau is my refuge, my savior, the place where I can escape the reality of my life and feel normal, feel like everything will be okay. The salary gives me enough to get by and the job gives me the chance to market my home town to thousands of soon to be enlightened tourists.

We live in a secret patch on the Earth that very few know about.

Larry is lingering. I don’t mind.

“So have you found one yet?” he asks with his slight southern drawl and hint of World War II era playboy.

I spent countless hours watching AMC as a teenager and every time I see a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart on battle lines or sitting at bars or fancy dinner tables puffing on cigarettes and courting their women.

“No, not yet. There aren’t any men around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.

My tears have been coming easily lately.

It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, even though I’ve been dating not one man has shown promise of being something.

I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen.

“Don’t you worry, Beautiful. One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“Really? A man can do that? I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I’m looking up at him now wondering how I must appear, as a damsel in distress with the flowered skirt to match.

But even though I look the damsel, someone who could potentially be swept up into a romantic whirlwind, I am a single mother. I have a one-year-old at home who I can’t stop thinking about, not even if I try. Can a man really ever understand that or fit into my life?

The reality of it all smacks into me like a wave and I start shaking my head before he can even answer.

“No, Larry, it’s not possible… not unless he can change diapers and be woken up in the middle of the night – every night.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – trust me on this one, it definitely is. Just you wait.”

Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

The Bear leaves me at the bar for a second to use the bathroom.

I trace my fingers across the rim of the glass holding my beer. The men across the bar are there, starring. I can see them but they are just a blur, a wash of people.

Typically I would meet their eyes if even for a fleeting moment just to see if I could catch that spark, that thing I had been dreaming of for so many years, that feeling I had yet to experience. But now, I keep my eyes down and a slight smile creeps across my face and then it grows wider.

I can’t contain it anymore, not even in a bar filled with men.

I’m being swept.

He’s completely endearing, fascinatingly intelligent, funny as hell and totally adorable. He also has drive, passion and a humor for life. He’s all of these things but there’s something else… he cares.

Suddenly an entirely new feeling slips over me.

It’s the feeling of having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the feeling of being absolutely satisfied, filled up, rested, cared for, loved… whatever it is, I like it and I sink into my bar stool just exhale. And then he’s there, his arm wraps around my shoulder and he says, “you okay?”

“Definitely,” I smile.

“Oh, I know that look,” he says, “that’s a look I like.”

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, the Bear and I find ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and we start swaying to the blue grass music floating in the air. Then he leans in and kisses my neck, then my cheek and then my lips.

“Stop,” I say, “what about all of the others, I feel bad – they don’t have this – and I don’t want to be that couple.”

“Screw them,” he says, “it’s our turn now. It’s our turn to be happy.”

—-

Back up reading:

Larry is in his seventies but his eyes are young.

He had a major hand in creating the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway, a thriving tourist destination for Athens County and his energy seems to be endless. He’ll never acknowledge his age with words or by his actions and I find this amazing and inspiring.

We’ve just wrapped up a meeting and now we’re saying our good byes in the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau. The Bureau is my refuge, my savior, the place where I can escape the reality of my life and feel normal, feel like everything will be okay. The salary gives me enough to get by and the job gives me the chance to market my home town to thousands of soon to be enlightened tourists.

We live in a secret patch on the Earth that very few know about.

Larry is lingering. I don’t mind.

“So have you found one yet?” he asks with his slight southern drawl and hint of World War II era playboy.

I spent countless hours watching AMC as a teenager and every time I see a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart on battle lines or sitting at bars or fancy dinner tables puffing on cigarettes and courting their women.

“No, not yet. There aren’t any men around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.

My tears have been coming easily lately.

It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, even though I’ve been dating not one man has shown promise of being something.

I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen.

“Don’t you worry, Beautiful. One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“Really? A man can do that? I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I’m looking up at him now wondering how I must appear, as a damsel in distress with the flowered skirt to match.

But even though I look the damsel, someone who could potentially be swept up into a romantic whirlwind, I am a single mother. I have a one-year-old at home who I can’t stop thinking about, not even if I try. Can a man really ever understand that or fit into my life?

The reality of it all smacks into me like a wave and I start shaking my head before he can even answer.

“No, Larry, it’s not possible… not unless he can change diapers and be woken up in the middle of the night – every night.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – trust me on this one, it definitely is. Just you wait.”

Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

The Bear leaves me at the bar for a second to use the bathroom.

I trace my fingers across the rim of the glass holding my beer. The men across the bar are there, starring. I can see them but they are just a blur, a wash of people.

Typically I would meet their eyes if even for a fleeting moment just to see if I could catch that spark, that thing I had been dreaming of for so many years, that feeling I had yet to experience. But now, I keep my eyes down and a slight smile creeps across my face and then it grows wider.

I can’t contain it anymore, not even in a bar filled with men.

I’m being swept.

He’s completely endearing, fascinatingly intelligent, funny as hell and totally adorable. He also has drive, passion and a humor for life. He’s all of these things but there’s something else… he cares.

Suddenly an entirely new feeling slips over me.

It’s the feeling of having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the feeling of being absolutely satisfied, filled up, rested, cared for, loved… whatever it is, I like it and I sink into my bar stool just exhale. And then he’s there, his arm wraps around my shoulder and he says, “you okay?”

“Definitely,” I smile.

“Oh, I know that look,” he says, “that’s a look I like.”

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, the Bear and I find ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and we start swaying to the blue grass music floating in the air. Then he leans in and kisses my neck, then my cheek and then my lips.

“Stop,” I say, “what about all of the others, I feel bad – they don’t have this – and I don’t want to be that couple.”

“Screw them,” he says, “it’s our turn now. It’s our turn to be happy.”

—-

Back up reading:

Larry is in his seventies, an old train conductor who had single-handedly revived the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway into a thriving tourist destination for Athens County, he stands at the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau where I work tirelessly day in and day out to ignore my troubles at home, to earn just enough to get by and to hopefully enlighten a lucky few that Athens is definitely a place they should be visiting.

“So have you found one yet?” he asks with his slight southern drawl and hint of World War II era play boy. I spent endless hours watching AMC as a teenager and every time I see a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart on battle lines or behind bars puffing on cigarettes and courting their women.

“No, I’m trying but I just can’t. There isn’t anyone around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.

My tears have been coming easy lately.

It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, not even one man has shown promise of being something. I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen.

“Don’t you worry, Beautiful. One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“Really? A man can do that? I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I’m looking up at him now wondering how I must appear, as a damsel in distress with the flowered skirt to match. But even though I look the damsel, someone who could potentially be swept up into a romantic whirlwind, I am a single mother. I have a one-year-old at home who I can’t stop thinking about, not even if I try. Can a man really ever understand that or fit into that life? 

The reality of my life smacks into the forefront and I shake my head.

“No, Larry, it’s not possible… not unless he can change diapers and be woken up in the middle of the night.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – trust me on this one, it definitely is. Just you wait.”

And with that I just quit looking, searching so ferociously for a match. Instead I decided that day to seek out male companionship, friendship and maybe more.

Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

The Bear leaves me at the bar for a second to use the bathroom.

I trace my fingers across the rim of the glass holding my beer. The men across the bar are there, starring. I can see them but they are just a blur, a wash of people. Typically I would meet their eyes if even for a fleeting moment just to see if I could catch that spark, that thing I had been dreaming of for so many years, that feeling I had yet to experience. But now, I keep my eyes down and a slight smile creeps across my face and then grows wider.

I can’t contain it anymore, not even in a bar filled with men. 

I’m being swept. 

He’s completely endearing, fascinatingly intelligent, funny as hell and totally adorable. He also has drive, passion and a humor for life. He’s all of these things but there’s something else… he cares. 

Suddenly an entirely new feeling creeps up on me.

It’s the feeling of having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the feeling of being absolutely satisfied, filled up, rested, cared for, loved… whatever it is I like it and I sink into my bar stool and let out a sigh of relief. And then he’s there, his arm wraps around my shoulder and he says, “you okay?”

“Definitely,” I smile.

“Oh, I know that look,” he says, “that’s a look I like.”

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, the Bear and I find ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and we start swaying to the blue grass music floating through the room. Then he leans in and kisses my neck, then my cheek and then my lips. 

“Stop,” I say, “what about all of the others, I feel bad – they don’t have this – and I don’t want to be that couple.” 

“Screw them,” he says, “it’s our turn now. It’s our turn to be happy.” 

—-

Back up reading: 

Larry is in his seventies, an old train conductor who had single-handedly revived the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway into a thriving tourist destination for Athens County, he stands at the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau where I work tirelessly day in and day out to ignore my troubles at home, to earn just enough to get by and to hopefully enlighten a lucky few that Athens is definitely a place they should be visiting.

“So have you found one yet?” he asks with his slight southern drawl and hint of World War II era play boy. I spent endless hours watching AMC as a teenager and every time I see a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart on battle lines or behind bars puffing on cigarettes and courting their women.

“No, I’m trying but I just can’t. There isn’t anyone around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.

My tears have been coming easy lately.

It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, not even one man has shown promise of being something. I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen.

“Don’t you worry, Beautiful. One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“Really? A man can do that? I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I’m looking up at him now wondering how I must appear, as a damsel in distress with the flowered skirt to match. But even though I look the damsel, someone who could potentially be swept up into a romantic whirlwind, I am a single mother. I have a one-year-old at home who I can’t stop thinking about, not even if I try. Can a man really ever understand that or fit into that life? 

The reality of my life smacks into the forefront and I shake my head.

“No, Larry, it’s not possible… not unless he can change diapers and be woken up in the middle of the night.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – trust me on this one, it definitely is. Just you wait.”

And with that I just quit looking, searching so ferociously for a match. Instead I decided that day to seek out male companionship, friendship and maybe more.

Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

The Bear leaves me at the bar for a second to use the bathroom.

I trace my fingers across the rim of the glass holding my beer. The men across the bar are there, starring. I can see them but they are just a blur, a wash of people. Typically I would meet their eyes if even for a fleeting moment just to see if I could catch that spark, that thing I had been dreaming of for so many years, that feeling I had yet to experience. But now, I keep my eyes down and a slight smile creeps across my face and then grows wider.

I can’t contain it anymore, not even in a bar filled with men. 

I’m being swept. 

He’s completely endearing, fascinatingly intelligent, funny as hell and totally adorable. He also has drive, passion and a humor for life. He’s all of these things but there’s something else… he cares. 

Suddenly an entirely new feeling creeps up on me.

It’s the feeling of having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the feeling of being absolutely satisfied, filled up, rested, cared for, loved… whatever it is I like it and I sink into my bar stool and let out a sigh of relief. And then he’s there, his arm wraps around my shoulder and he says, “you okay?”

“Definitely,” I smile.

“Oh, I know that look,” he says, “that’s a look I like.”

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, the Bear and I find ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and we start swaying to the blue grass music floating through the room. Then he leans in and kisses my neck, then my cheek and then my lips. 

“Stop,” I say, “what about all of the others, I feel bad – they don’t have this – and I don’t want to be that couple.” 

“Screw them,” he says, “it’s our turn now. It’s our turn to be happy.” 

—-

Back up reading: 

Larry is in his seventies but his eyes are young.

He had a major hand in creating the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway, a thriving tourist destination for Athens County and his energy seems to be endless. He’ll never acknowledge his age with words or by his actions, I find this amazing and inspiring.

We’ve just wrapped up a meeting and now we’re saying our good byes in the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau. The Bureau is my refuge, my savior, the place where I can escape the reality of my life and feel normal, feel like everything will be okay. The salary gives me enough to get by and the job gives me the chance to market my home town to thousands of soon to be enlightened tourists.

We live in a secret patch on the Earth that very few know about.

Larry is lingering. I don’t mind.

“So have you found one yet?” he asks with his slight southern drawl and hint of World War II era playboy.

I spent countless hours watching AMC as a teenager and every time I see a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart on battle lines or sitting at bars or fancy dinner tables puffing on cigarettes and courting their women.

“No, not yet. There aren’t any men around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.

My tears have been coming easily lately.

It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, even though I’ve been dating not one man has shown promise of being something.

I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen.

“Don’t you worry, Beautiful. One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“Really? A man can do that? I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I’m looking up at him now wondering how I must appear, as a damsel in distress with the flowered skirt to match.

But even though I look the damsel, someone who could potentially be swept up into a romantic whirlwind, I am a single mother. I have a one-year-old at home who I can’t stop thinking about, not even if I try. Can a man really ever understand that or fit into my life?

The reality of it all smacks into me like a wave and I start shaking my head before he can even answer.

“No, Larry, it’s not possible… not unless he can change diapers and be woken up in the middle of the night – every night.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – trust me on this one, it definitely is. Just you wait.”

Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

The Bear leaves me at the bar for a second to use the bathroom.

I trace my fingers across the rim of the glass holding my beer. The men across the bar are there, starring. I can see them but they are just a blur, a wash of people.

Typically I would meet their eyes if even for a fleeting moment just to see if I could catch that spark, that thing I had been dreaming of for so many years, that feeling I had yet to experience. But now, I keep my eyes down and a slight smile creeps across my face and then it grows wider.

I can’t contain it anymore, not even in a bar filled with men.

I’m being swept.

He’s completely endearing, fascinatingly intelligent, funny as hell and totally adorable. He also has drive, passion and a humor for life. He’s all of these things but there’s something else… he cares.

Suddenly an entirely new feeling slips over me.

It’s the feeling of having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the feeling of being absolutely satisfied, filled up, rested, cared for, loved… whatever it is, I like it and I sink into my bar stool just exhale. And then he’s there, his arm wraps around my shoulder and he says, “you okay?”

“Definitely,” I smile.

“Oh, I know that look,” he says, “that’s a look I like.”

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, the Bear and I find ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and we start swaying to the blue grass music floating in the air. Then he leans in and kisses my neck, then my cheek and then my lips.

“Stop,” I say, “what about all of the others, I feel bad – they don’t have this – and I don’t want to be that couple.”

“Screw them,” he says, “it’s our turn now. It’s our turn to be happy.”

—-

Back up reading:

Larry is in his seventies but his eyes are young.

He had a major hand in creating the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway, a thriving tourist destination for Athens County and his energy seems to be endless. He’ll never acknowledge his age with words or by his actions and I find this amazing and inspiring.

We’ve just wrapped up a meeting and now we’re saying our good byes in the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau. The Bureau is my refuge, my savior, the place where I can escape the reality of my life and feel normal, feel like everything will be okay. The salary gives me enough to get by and the job gives me the chance to market my home town to thousands of soon to be enlightened tourists.

We live in a secret patch on the Earth that very few know about.

Larry is lingering. I don’t mind.

“So have you found one yet?” he asks with his slight southern drawl and hint of World War II era playboy.

I spent countless hours watching AMC as a teenager and every time I see a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart on battle lines or sitting at bars or fancy dinner tables puffing on cigarettes and courting their women.

“No, not yet. There aren’t any men around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.

My tears have been coming easily lately.

It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, even though I’ve been dating not one man has shown promise of being something.

I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen.

“Don’t you worry, Beautiful. One of these days a man is going to find you and he’s going to sweep you off your feet and you won’t even know what hit ya.”

“Really? A man can do that? I’m not sure if that’s possible,” I’m looking up at him now wondering how I must appear, as a damsel in distress with the flowered skirt to match.

But even though I look the damsel, someone who could potentially be swept up into a romantic whirlwind, I am a single mother. I have a one-year-old at home who I can’t stop thinking about, not even if I try. Can a man really ever understand that or fit into my life?

The reality of it all smacks into me like a wave and I start shaking my head before he can even answer.

“No, Larry, it’s not possible… not unless he can change diapers and be woken up in the middle of the night – every night.”

“Oh it is, sweet heart – trust me on this one, it definitely is. Just you wait.”

Larry was right. I just had to be patient.

—–

The Bear leaves me at the bar for a second to use the bathroom.

I trace my fingers across the rim of the glass holding my beer. The men across the bar are there, starring. I can see them but they are just a blur, a wash of people.

Typically I would meet their eyes if even for a fleeting moment just to see if I could catch that spark, that thing I had been dreaming of for so many years, that feeling I had yet to experience. But now, I keep my eyes down and a slight smile creeps across my face and then it grows wider.

I can’t contain it anymore, not even in a bar filled with men.

I’m being swept.

He’s completely endearing, fascinatingly intelligent, funny as hell and totally adorable. He also has drive, passion and a humor for life. He’s all of these things but there’s something else… he cares.

Suddenly an entirely new feeling slips over me.

It’s the feeling of having a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the feeling of being absolutely satisfied, filled up, rested, cared for, loved… whatever it is, I like it and I sink into my bar stool just exhale. And then he’s there, his arm wraps around my shoulder and he says, “you okay?”

“Definitely,” I smile.

“Oh, I know that look,” he says, “that’s a look I like.”

After a few more Raspberry Wheats, the Bear and I find ourselves in the center of the small dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and we start swaying to the blue grass music floating in the air. Then he leans in and kisses my neck, then my cheek and then my lips.

“Stop,” I say, “what about all of the others, I feel bad – they don’t have this – and I don’t want to be that couple.”

“Screw them,” he says, “it’s our turn now. It’s our turn to be happy.”

—-

Back up reading:

Chapter 1: Getting Back Out There

Would You Date Yourself?

Prince Charming Can Kiss My Ass

The Bad Boy Complex

Man Shopping

The Rebound Year

Single Moms and the Men Who Love Us

Dating Karma

When do you tell him you’re a single mom?

Single Mom Dating Tips, Part I

Single Mom Dating Tips, Part II – Don’t get Burned

Be Careful: What do jerks and shoes have in common? Heels.

Want Men to Start Falling From the Sky? Forget about them.

Where to Meet Men

Love vs. Lust

Chapter 2: My First Single Mom Boyfriend

Cigarettes, Men and Some Major Trust Issues

Single Mom Dating Conundrum

Just When I Thought I was Safe

Something Amazing Happened

Good Guys Do Exist

Need a Man? Look in Mommy’s Bed

Did I Lose My Mr. Good Enough?

Chapter 3: The Ex

How to Get Over Your Ex-husband or Ex-Boyfriend

Why I am a Single Mother?

Am I a Single Mother by Choice?

Caught on Tape: My Ex, his girlfriend and my son? No, he’s just crying in the background.

Eyelashes

Out With the Old

Mr [Blank] – What would you call your ex?

When is Daddy Going to Bail?

Chapter 4: Falling in Love With a Single Mom

What Women Really Want

How to Date a Single Mom, Part I

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 2

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 3

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 4

Chapter 5: The Fear of Dating as a Single Mother

Do I Need Therapy?

Am I a Man-Hater?

I Want to Date but I Can’t

Baggage Check: I Won’t Let Myself Fall in Love

Chapter 6: Breaking Up as a Single Mom

Explaining a Break Up to the Kids

Did I Lose My Mr. Good Enough?

The Fine Art of Dumping

The Muddy Single Mom: A Fairy Tale

One Step Back, Two Steps Forward.

Chapter 6: Finding Love as a Single Mom

To Find a Prince You May Have to Kiss a lot of Frogs

Where to Meet Men

Go Pick Up a Man: I Dare You

A Letter to My Future Husband

Are all of the good men taken?

Mommy’s Maintenance Man

Chapter 7: Tough Single Mom Issues

She’s pregnant. Should she tell the father?

Her Ex Wants Full Custody

Can she take the kids overseas?

Chapter 8: Friends and Relationships

Can single moms have married friends?

Perfume or Magic Love Potion? You Decide.

Married People are Weird (for the most part).

Does Romance Really Exist?

The Relationship: A New Frontier

Chapter 9: Parenting as a Single Mom &  Co-Parenting

In Our Beginning

Love at First Sight

O’Daddy Where Art Thou?

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy?

Dr. Single Mom vs. the Pediatrician

Playground Wars

A Note From the War Zone

This Shit Ain’t Easy, a Bedtime Story

Ex-Mas Etiquette

The Case of the Missing Tomatoes

Chapter 10: Online Dating and Texting

He Texted Me Again? WTF.

MySpace & Facebook Ex-Purge

E-Harmony Dating Review

MySpace Facebook and Dating in a Virtual World

Chapter 11: The Ex Files – the Men I’ve Dated Along the Way

The Biker

The Great Dane

Mr. Right Now (aka My Confession)

Cabin Fever

Mr. Man

Chapter 12: When to Introduce Him to the Kids

Unexpected Reality

Chapter 13: Falling in Love & The Bear

Meet the Bear

That Couple


{ 1 trackback }

Everything you’ll ever need…
June 10, 2009 at 12:54 pm

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Amanda June 11, 2009 at 5:14 pm

Just when I thought I wouldn't have anything to do this rainy weekend! It's so refreshing that I'm not the only dating single mom out there!

Reply

mamaj April 3, 2011 at 1:34 am

Wow! Great read…I’m a single mom to a baby under 1 and I loved reading this? Have you thought about getting published?

Reply

Ledys February 3, 2015 at 6:11 am

Hi Thanks for writing to us.It sondus as though he is not very self confident and that is why he tries to control you.Flirting others means he is not being responsible about your relationship and that does not mean he does not like you, but he is making his own choices, and unfortunately they hurt you however; you need to be in a relationship that you do not want to be in else you need to be honest with him and let him know how you are feeling and that you would just rather be friends and we understand it is not easy, but this will be best for the both of you for some time, and follow your heart and do what you think is best for you.And finally if he realizes and says yes he wants to be in the relationship and is sorry about it, then give him another chance.Hope that helps Takecare.ASKNEETU COUNSELLING TEAMVN:F [1.9.17_1161]please wait…VN:F [1.9.17_1161](from 0 votes) +4Was this answer helpful?

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auto insurance April 5, 2015 at 4:00 pm

My favorite question (to add to the utter ridiculousness of the whole situation) that was asked of the women’s basketball team by the media, “Were you more offended as a woman or as an african american?” For the love of god, someone please put these girls back in their dorm rooms and let the crotchety old man go on his merry way.

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