Don’t let the ex-bugs bite.

I threw on my gold, slinky dress, slipped on my knee high leather boots and then topped it off with a long black wig which I’d braided earlier. Part of a group Peter Pan costume, I was Tiger Lily. 

“C’mon! Get yours on,” I shouted to Mr. Man as I started in on my make up. A Halloween street party was waiting and I couldn’t handle the excitement.

Earlier that day we’d taken Benjamin to a thrift store to hunt for Mr. Man’s costume. Normally any trip to a store results in a near melt down by myself and definitely at least one tantrum from Benjamin. But with Mr. Man there to help we were able to divide and conquer.

“You look in that aisle, I’ll look in this one,” I said.

Between distracting Benjamin with fun games or “find me this or find me that” and rows and rows of used clothes we finally found every single piece of Mr. Man’s Joker costume; a purple suit, a purple tie and a green shirt. It was a minor miracle and I didn’t even break a sweat.

Later that afternoon we took Benjamin trick or treating with Mia and Sydney.

“Look, Benjamin, look! There’s another house,” Mr. Man would say while guiding my little monkey down the sidewalk. Once Benjamin couldn’t peddle anymore Mr. Man popped him up onto his shoulders and grabbed his feet, playing with him and pulling on his legs – making him laugh continuously, for minutes and minutes on end.

He wasn’t just falling for me, I realized, he was falling for both of us. This is the stuff you just can’t fake – not that men in the past have faked loving Benjamin but Mr. Man, a father himself, absolutely loves being one. 

Almost as soon as we got back to Mia’s house, she ushered us out, “Go! Go have fun, get out of here!” 

“Yeah, Mommy,” chimed Benjamin, “Go away! Me sleeping at Sydney’s house, kay?” 

“Alright, we’re going, we’re going,” I said.

It wasn’t until our quiet walk down the street to my place that it dawned on us – for the first time since we’d met – we were going to have a date. We’d spent the past two weekends at my mom’s house surrounded by family, friends or Benjamin; unable between them all to find more than an hour or two alone.

After Mr. Man had his purple suit on, he sat down across from me so I could transform him into the Joker. As I started dabbing on the white paint, he rested his hands on my knees, running his thumb delicately over my hose and along the edge of my dress.

Between focusing on the job at hand, I would look into his eyes only to find that they were looking intently into mine. He wasn’t telling me how to put it on, wasn’t concerned or worried about seeing his reflection in a mirror. In fact, I don’t think he cared what I was putting on his face only that he had a chance to see mine so closely while I was completely focused on something other than life, work or Benjamin. 

“I love seeing your smile,” he said. 

“Shhhh…don’t move your lips.”

“Okay, but can I have a kiss first before you paint them?” 

——-

One hour later we slipped away from the costumed masses on the street into a bar. I found a spot at an empty table and immediately started to think about everything, letting my mind run wild in fear. 

“Why so serious?” he said in his deep Joker voice. 

“I’m thinking about you,” I said while staring into my beer bottle, “and I’m scared.” 

“You don’t have to be. I’m not going anywhere.” He paused, “I’m serious. I can see you and Benjamin in my future… as far as I can see actually.”

“Really? How? How do you know that?”

“It just feels so right to be with you. Look, I wasn’t expecting this either, wasn’t planning on it at all. I just know how I feel when I’m around you and I can’t see any reason why this can’t work.” And with that, covered in his Joker make up, now suddenly serious himself, Mr. Man convinced me to open my heart and my mind to the idea of a future with someone else in the picture.

“Okay. I’ll do it. I’ll give it everything I have. I can’t guarantee anything about where it will go, but I can guarantee you that I’ll try my very best.” 

“This is just the beginning,” he said squeezing my hands, “and it’s only going to get better. I promise.” 

And with that we headed into the night.

Maybe it was the way he guarded me from passing cars with his body, the way he held me when we danced or the way he asked about Benjamin when I looked at my phone – “How’s little Benjamin?” – I’m not quite sure what it was but I completely and absolutely let myself go, let myself drop a little further into that Rabbit Hole.

After hours of dancing, talking and dancing some more we hailed a cab for the ride home. 

“What’s your name?” Mr. Man asked the cab driver.

“George.” 

“George, is this not the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen?”

George looked at me in his rear view mirror, this slightly embarrassed and slightly intoxicated Tiger Lily with no story other than the mask covering her face and said, “Yes, she’s definitely pretty.”

“Well,” said Mr. Man, “I’m going to marry this girl!”

I can’t remember what I said, or if I said anything at all. I think I just smiled, the kind of smile Mr. Man loves to see, the kind I can’t control. And rather than opening up that cab door and jumping into the pavement possessed by fear, I scooted in closer to him, letting him wrap his arm around my shoulders.

“I am going to marry you,” he whispered into my ear.

“Whatever! You’re out of your mind, crazy man.” 

My words were no good here, he just laughed and pulled me closer, “God, I love those lips and I sure do love that smile.” 

We laughed the rest of the way home and by the time we pulled into my driveway George was laughing too. 

To be continued…

If you can’t get enough Mr. Man stories, click here for more.
I threw on my gold, slinky dress, slipped on my knee high leather boots and then topped it off with a long black wig which I’d braided earlier. Part of a group Peter Pan costume, I was Tiger Lily. 

“C’mon! Get yours on,” I shouted to Mr. Man as I started in on my make up. A Halloween street party was waiting and I couldn’t handle the excitement.

Earlier that day we’d taken Benjamin to a thrift store to hunt for Mr. Man’s costume. Normally any trip to a store results in a near melt down by myself and definitely at least one tantrum from Benjamin. But with Mr. Man there to help we were able to divide and conquer.

“You look in that aisle, I’ll look in this one,” I said.

Between distracting Benjamin with fun games or “find me this or find me that” and rows and rows of used clothes we finally found every single piece of Mr. Man’s Joker costume; a purple suit, a purple tie and a green shirt. It was a minor miracle and I didn’t even break a sweat.

Later that afternoon we took Benjamin trick or treating with Mia and Sydney.

“Look, Benjamin, look! There’s another house,” Mr. Man would say while guiding my little monkey down the sidewalk. Once Benjamin couldn’t peddle anymore Mr. Man popped him up onto his shoulders and grabbed his feet, playing with him and pulling on his legs – making him laugh continuously, for minutes and minutes on end.

He wasn’t just falling for me, I realized, he was falling for both of us. This is the stuff you just can’t fake – not that men in the past have faked loving Benjamin but Mr. Man, a father himself, absolutely loves being one. 

Almost as soon as we got back to Mia’s house, she ushered us out, “Go! Go have fun, get out of here!” 

“Yeah, Mommy,” chimed Benjamin, “Go away! Me sleeping at Sydney’s house, kay?” 

“Alright, we’re going, we’re going,” I said.

It wasn’t until our quiet walk down the street to my place that it dawned on us – for the first time since we’d met – we were going to have a date. We’d spent the past two weekends at my mom’s house surrounded by family, friends or Benjamin; unable between them all to find more than an hour or two alone.

After Mr. Man had his purple suit on, he sat down across from me so I could transform him into the Joker. As I started dabbing on the white paint, he rested his hands on my knees, running his thumb delicately over my hose and along the edge of my dress.

Between focusing on the job at hand, I would look into his eyes only to find that they were looking intently into mine. He wasn’t telling me how to put it on, wasn’t concerned or worried about seeing his reflection in a mirror. In fact, I don’t think he cared what I was putting on his face only that he had a chance to see mine so closely while I was completely focused on something other than life, work or Benjamin. 

“I love seeing your smile,” he said. 

“Shhhh…don’t move your lips.”

“Okay, but can I have a kiss first before you paint them?” 

——-

One hour later we slipped away from the costumed masses on the street into a bar. I found a spot at an empty table and immediately started to think about everything, letting my mind run wild in fear. 

“Why so serious?” he said in his deep Joker voice. 

“I’m thinking about you,” I said while staring into my beer bottle, “and I’m scared.” 

“You don’t have to be. I’m not going anywhere.” He paused, “I’m serious. I can see you and Benjamin in my future… as far as I can see actually.”

“Really? How? How do you know that?”

“It just feels so right to be with you. Look, I wasn’t expecting this either, wasn’t planning on it at all. I just know how I feel when I’m around you and I can’t see any reason why this can’t work.” And with that, covered in his Joker make up, now suddenly serious himself, Mr. Man convinced me to open my heart and my mind to the idea of a future with someone else in the picture.

“Okay. I’ll do it. I’ll give it everything I have. I can’t guarantee anything about where it will go, but I can guarantee you that I’ll try my very best.” 

“This is just the beginning,” he said squeezing my hands, “and it’s only going to get better. I promise.” 

And with that we headed into the night.

Maybe it was the way he guarded me from passing cars with his body, the way he held me when we danced or the way he asked about Benjamin when I looked at my phone – “How’s little Benjamin?” – I’m not quite sure what it was but I completely and absolutely let myself go, let myself drop a little further into that Rabbit Hole.

After hours of dancing, talking and dancing some more we hailed a cab for the ride home. 

“What’s your name?” Mr. Man asked the cab driver.

“George.” 

“George, is this not the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen?”

George looked at me in his rear view mirror, this slightly embarrassed and slightly intoxicated Tiger Lily with no story other than the mask covering her face and said, “Yes, she’s definitely pretty.”

“Well,” said Mr. Man, “I’m going to marry this girl!”

I can’t remember what I said, or if I said anything at all. I think I just smiled, the kind of smile Mr. Man loves to see, the kind I can’t control. And rather than opening up that cab door and jumping into the pavement possessed by fear, I scooted in closer to him, letting him wrap his arm around my shoulders.

“I am going to marry you,” he whispered into my ear.

“Whatever! You’re out of your mind, crazy man.” 

My words were no good here, he just laughed and pulled me closer, “God, I love those lips and I sure do love that smile.” 

We laughed the rest of the way home and by the time we pulled into my driveway George was laughing too. 

To be continued…

If you can’t get enough Mr. Man stories, click here for more.
I threw on my gold, slinky dress, slipped on my knee high leather boots and then topped it off with a long black wig which I’d braided earlier. Part of a group Peter Pan costume, I was Tiger Lily.

“C’mon! Get yours on,” I shouted to Mr. Man as I started in on my make up. A Halloween street party was waiting and I couldn’t handle the excitement.

Earlier that day we’d taken Benjamin to a thrift store to hunt for Mr. Man’s costume. Normally any trip to a store results in a near melt down by myself and definitely at least one tantrum from Benjamin. But with Mr. Man there to help we were able to divide and conquer.

“You look in that aisle, I’ll look in this one,” I said.

Between distracting Benjamin with fun games or “find me this or find me that” and rows and rows of used clothes we finally found every single piece of Mr. Man’s Joker costume; a purple suit, a purple tie and a green shirt. It was a minor miracle and I didn’t even break a sweat.

Later that afternoon we took Benjamin trick or treating with Mia and Sydney.

“Look, Benjamin, look! There’s another house,” Mr. Man would say while guiding my little monkey down the sidewalk. Once Benjamin couldn’t peddle anymore Mr. Man popped him up onto his shoulders and grabbed his feet, playing with him and pulling on his legs – making him laugh continuously, for minutes and minutes on end.

He wasn’t just falling for me, I realized, he was falling for both of us. This is the stuff you just can’t fake – not that men in the past have faked loving Benjamin but Mr. Man, a father himself, absolutely loves being one.

Almost as soon as we got back to Mia’s house, she ushered us out, “Go! Go have fun, get out of here!”

“Yeah, Mommy,” chimed Benjamin, “Go away! Me sleeping at Sydney’s house, kay?”

“Alright, we’re going, we’re going,” I said.

It wasn’t until our quiet walk down the street to my place that it dawned on us – for the first time since we’d met – we were going to have a date. We’d spent the past two weekends at my mom’s house surrounded by family, friends or Benjamin; unable between them all to find more than an hour or two alone.

After Mr. Man had his purple suit on, he sat down across from me so I could transform him into the Joker. As I started dabbing on the white paint, he rested his hands on my knees, running his thumb delicately over my hose and along the edge of my dress.

Between focusing on the job at hand, I would look into his eyes only to find that they were looking intently into mine. He wasn’t telling me how to put it on, wasn’t concerned or worried about seeing his reflection in a mirror. In fact, I don’t think he cared what I was putting on his face only that he had a chance to see mine so closely while I was completely focused on something other than life, work or Benjamin.

“I love seeing your smile,” he said.

“Shhhh…don’t move your lips.”

“Okay, but can I have a kiss first before you paint them?”

——-

One hour later we slipped away from the costumed masses on the street into a bar. I found a spot at an empty table and immediately started to think about everything, letting my mind run wild in fear.

“Why so serious?” he said in his deep Joker voice.

“I’m thinking about you,” I said while staring into my beer bottle, “and I’m scared.”

“You don’t have to be. I’m not going anywhere.” He paused, “I’m serious. I can see you and Benjamin in my future… as far as I can see actually.”

“Really? How? How do you know that?”

“It just feels so right to be with you. Look, I wasn’t expecting this either, wasn’t planning on it at all. I just know how I feel when I’m around you and I can’t see any reason why this can’t work.” And with that, covered in his Joker make up, now suddenly serious himself, Mr. Man convinced me to open my heart and my mind to the idea of a future with someone else in the picture.

“Okay. I’ll do it. I’ll give it everything I have. I can’t guarantee anything about where it will go, but I can guarantee you that I’ll try my very best.”

“This is just the beginning,” he said squeezing my hands, “and it’s only going to get better. I promise.”

And with that we headed into the night.

Maybe it was the way he guarded me from passing cars with his body, the way he held me when we danced or the way he asked about Benjamin when I looked at my phone – “How’s little Benjamin?” – I’m not quite sure what it was but I completely and absolutely let myself go, let myself drop a little further into that Rabbit Hole.

After hours of dancing, talking and dancing some more we hailed a cab for the ride home.

“What’s your name?” Mr. Man asked the cab driver.

“George.”

“George, is this not the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen?”

George looked at me in his rear view mirror, this slightly embarrassed and slightly intoxicated Tiger Lily with no story other than the mask covering her face and said, “Yes, she’s definitely pretty.”

“Well,” said Mr. Man, “I’m going to marry this girl!”

I can’t remember what I said, or if I said anything at all. I think I just smiled, the kind of smile Mr. Man loves to see, the kind I can’t control. And rather than opening up that cab door and jumping into the pavement possessed by fear, I scooted in closer to him, letting him wrap his arm around my shoulders.

“I am going to marry you,” he whispered into my ear.

“Whatever! You’re out of your mind, crazy man.”

My words were no good here, he just laughed and pulled me closer, “God, I love those lips and I sure do love that smile.”

We laughed the rest of the way home and by the time we pulled into my driveway George was laughing too.

To be continued…

If you can’t get enough Mr. Man stories, click here for more.

[Photo: my Halloween self-portrait, trying to get into character]
I threw on my gold, slinky dress, slipped on my knee high leather boots and then topped it off with a long black wig which I’d braided earlier. Part of a group Peter Pan costume, I was Tiger Lily. 

“C’mon! Get yours on,” I shouted to Mr. Man as I started in on my make up. A Halloween street party was waiting and I couldn’t handle the excitement.

Earlier that day we’d taken Benjamin to a thrift store to hunt for Mr. Man’s costume. Normally any trip to a store results in a near melt down by myself and definitely at least one tantrum from Benjamin. But with Mr. Man there to help we were able to divide and conquer.

“You look in that aisle, I’ll look in this one,” I said.

Between distracting Benjamin with fun games or “find me this or find me that” and rows and rows of used clothes we finally found every single piece of Mr. Man’s Joker costume; a purple suit, a purple tie and a green shirt. It was a minor miracle and I didn’t even break a sweat.

Later that afternoon we took Benjamin trick or treating with Mia and Sydney.

“Look, Benjamin, look! There’s another house,” Mr. Man would say while guiding my little monkey down the sidewalk. Once Benjamin couldn’t peddle anymore Mr. Man popped him up onto his shoulders and grabbed his feet, playing with him and pulling on his legs – making him laugh continuously, for minutes and minutes on end.

He wasn’t just falling for me, I realized, he was falling for both of us. This is the stuff you just can’t fake – not that men in the past have faked loving Benjamin but Mr. Man, a father himself, absolutely loves being one. 

Almost as soon as we got back to Mia’s house, she ushered us out, “Go! Go have fun, get out of here!” 

“Yeah, Mommy,” chimed Benjamin, “Go away! Me sleeping at Sydney’s house, kay?” 

“Alright, we’re going, we’re going,” I said.

It wasn’t until our quiet walk down the street to my place that it dawned on us – for the first time since we’d met – we were going to have a date. We’d spent the past two weekends at my mom’s house surrounded by family, friends or Benjamin; unable between them all to find more than an hour or two alone.

After Mr. Man had his purple suit on, he sat down across from me so I could transform him into the Joker. As I started dabbing on the white paint, he rested his hands on my knees, running his thumb delicately over my hose and along the edge of my dress.

Between focusing on the job at hand, I would look into his eyes only to find that they were looking intently into mine. He wasn’t telling me how to put it on, wasn’t concerned or worried about seeing his reflection in a mirror. In fact, I don’t think he cared what I was putting on his face only that he had a chance to see mine so closely while I was completely focused on something other than life, work or Benjamin. 

“I love seeing your smile,” he said. 

“Shhhh…don’t move your lips.”

“Okay, but can I have a kiss first before you paint them?” 

——-

One hour later we slipped away from the costumed masses on the street into a bar. I found a spot at an empty table and immediately started to think about everything, letting my mind run wild in fear. 

“Why so serious?” he said in his deep Joker voice. 

“I’m thinking about you,” I said while staring into my beer bottle, “and I’m scared.” 

“You don’t have to be. I’m not going anywhere.” He paused, “I’m serious. I can see you and Benjamin in my future… as far as I can see actually.”

“Really? How? How do you know that?”

“It just feels so right to be with you. Look, I wasn’t expecting this either, wasn’t planning on it at all. I just know how I feel when I’m around you and I can’t see any reason why this can’t work.” And with that, covered in his Joker make up, now suddenly serious himself, Mr. Man convinced me to open my heart and my mind to the idea of a future with someone else in the picture.

“Okay. I’ll do it. I’ll give it everything I have. I can’t guarantee anything about where it will go, but I can guarantee you that I’ll try my very best.” 

“This is just the beginning,” he said squeezing my hands, “and it’s only going to get better. I promise.” 

And with that we headed into the night.

Maybe it was the way he guarded me from passing cars with his body, the way he held me when we danced or the way he asked about Benjamin when I looked at my phone – “How’s little Benjamin?” – I’m not quite sure what it was but I completely and absolutely let myself go, let myself drop a little further into that Rabbit Hole.

After hours of dancing, talking and dancing some more we hailed a cab for the ride home. 

“What’s your name?” Mr. Man asked the cab driver.

“George.” 

“George, is this not the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen?”

George looked at me in his rear view mirror, this slightly embarrassed and slightly intoxicated Tiger Lily with no story other than the mask covering her face and said, “Yes, she’s definitely pretty.”

“Well,” said Mr. Man, “I’m going to marry this girl!”

I can’t remember what I said, or if I said anything at all. I think I just smiled, the kind of smile Mr. Man loves to see, the kind I can’t control. And rather than opening up that cab door and jumping into the pavement possessed by fear, I scooted in closer to him, letting him wrap his arm around my shoulders.

“I am going to marry you,” he whispered into my ear.

“Whatever! You’re out of your mind, crazy man.” 

My words were no good here, he just laughed and pulled me closer, “God, I love those lips and I sure do love that smile.” 

We laughed the rest of the way home and by the time we pulled into my driveway George was laughing too. 

To be continued…

If you can’t get enough Mr. Man stories, click here for more.
I threw on my gold, slinky dress, slipped on my knee high leather boots and then topped it off with a long black wig which I’d braided earlier. Part of a group Peter Pan costume, I was Tiger Lily.

“C’mon! Get yours on,” I shouted to Mr. Man as I started in on my make up. A Halloween street party was waiting and I couldn’t handle the excitement.

Earlier that day we’d taken Benjamin to a thrift store to hunt for Mr. Man’s costume. Normally any trip to a store results in a near melt down by myself and definitely at least one tantrum from Benjamin. But with Mr. Man there to help we were able to divide and conquer.

“You look in that aisle, I’ll look in this one,” I said.

Between distracting Benjamin with fun games or “find me this or find me that” and rows and rows of used clothes we finally found every single piece of Mr. Man’s Joker costume; a purple suit, a purple tie and a green shirt. It was a minor miracle and I didn’t even break a sweat.

Later that afternoon we took Benjamin trick or treating with Mia and Sydney.

“Look, Benjamin, look! There’s another house,” Mr. Man would say while guiding my little monkey down the sidewalk. Once Benjamin couldn’t peddle anymore Mr. Man popped him up onto his shoulders and grabbed his feet, playing with him and pulling on his legs – making him laugh continuously, for minutes and minutes on end.

He wasn’t just falling for me, I realized, he was falling for both of us. This is the stuff you just can’t fake – not that men in the past have faked loving Benjamin but Mr. Man, a father himself, absolutely loves being one.

Almost as soon as we got back to Mia’s house, she ushered us out, “Go! Go have fun, get out of here!”

“Yeah, Mommy,” chimed Benjamin, “Go away! Me sleeping at Sydney’s house, kay?”

“Alright, we’re going, we’re going,” I said.

It wasn’t until our quiet walk down the street to my place that it dawned on us – for the first time since we’d met – we were going to have a date. We’d spent the past two weekends at my mom’s house surrounded by family, friends or Benjamin; unable between them all to find more than an hour or two alone.

After Mr. Man had his purple suit on, he sat down across from me so I could transform him into the Joker. As I started dabbing on the white paint, he rested his hands on my knees, running his thumb delicately over my hose and along the edge of my dress.

Between focusing on the job at hand, I would look into his eyes only to find that they were looking intently into mine. He wasn’t telling me how to put it on, wasn’t concerned or worried about seeing his reflection in a mirror. In fact, I don’t think he cared what I was putting on his face only that he had a chance to see mine so closely while I was completely focused on something other than life, work or Benjamin.

“I love seeing your smile,” he said.

“Shhhh…don’t move your lips.”

“Okay, but can I have a kiss first before you paint them?”

——-

One hour later we slipped away from the costumed masses on the street into a bar. I found a spot at an empty table and immediately started to think about everything, letting my mind run wild in fear.

“Why so serious?” he said in his deep Joker voice.

“I’m thinking about you,” I said while staring into my beer bottle, “and I’m scared.”

“You don’t have to be. I’m not going anywhere.” He paused, “I’m serious. I can see you and Benjamin in my future… as far as I can see actually.”

“Really? How? How do you know that?”

“It just feels so right to be with you. Look, I wasn’t expecting this either, wasn’t planning on it at all. I just know how I feel when I’m around you and I can’t see any reason why this can’t work.” And with that, covered in his Joker make up, now suddenly serious himself, Mr. Man convinced me to open my heart and my mind to the idea of a future with someone else in the picture.

“Okay. I’ll do it. I’ll give it everything I have. I can’t guarantee anything about where it will go, but I can guarantee you that I’ll try my very best.”

“This is just the beginning,” he said squeezing my hands, “and it’s only going to get better. I promise.”

And with that we headed into the night.

Maybe it was the way he guarded me from passing cars with his body, the way he held me when we danced or the way he asked about Benjamin when I looked at my phone – “How’s little Benjamin?” – I’m not quite sure what it was but I completely and absolutely let myself go, let myself drop a little further into that Rabbit Hole.

After hours of dancing, talking and dancing some more we hailed a cab for the ride home.

“What’s your name?” Mr. Man asked the cab driver.

“George.”

“George, is this not the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen?”

George looked at me in his rear view mirror, this slightly embarrassed and slightly intoxicated Tiger Lily with no story other than the mask covering her face and said, “Yes, she’s definitely pretty.”

“Well,” said Mr. Man, “I’m going to marry this girl!”

I can’t remember what I said, or if I said anything at all. I think I just smiled, the kind of smile Mr. Man loves to see, the kind I can’t control. And rather than opening up that cab door and jumping into the pavement possessed by fear, I scooted in closer to him, letting him wrap his arm around my shoulders.

“I am going to marry you,” he whispered into my ear.

“Whatever! You’re out of your mind, crazy man.”

My words were no good here, he just laughed and pulled me closer, “God, I love those lips and I sure do love that smile.”

We laughed the rest of the way home and by the time we pulled into my driveway George was laughing too.

To be continued…

If you can’t get enough Mr. Man stories, click here for more.

[Photo: my Halloween self-portrait, trying to get into character]

Meet my comforter.

I’ve had it since 2003.

I bought it when I was single – very single. I had yet to even meet my ex-husband when I spotted it in a sale bin. The purple version of Carrie Bradshaw’s blue Calvin Klein comforter in the first few seasons of Sex and the City, I fell in love instantly. I was a broke 25-year-old, obsessed with Sex and the City, so naturally I felt like the comforter and I were destined for each other.

Six months later I met my now ex-husband. Two years later I would be giving birth to our son, shortly before leaving him… all with this comforter around.

In fact, I loved that comforter so much I couldn’t even bring myself to toss it after I left him – over two years ago now.

After all it was mine and it embodied everything that made me proud to be single, independent and free. No mind that I’d spent the last year of our marriage tugging at it to get more of the comforter on my side of the bed – trying to cover my giant freezing pregnant belly. Forget the time I had Benjamin on the bed, nestled between two pillows, while I pressed myself up against the bedroom door trying to keep my ex from barging in to yell at me harder.

I don’t tie material things to memories like some, instead I just keep using them – my logical thrifty nature winning over my psychological health. But over this past year the comforter had been losing its appeal. I needed to ditch it… but how? No time to shop. Not much money to shop.

——

When JCPenney and the BlogHer Ad Network gave me a $300.00 gift certificate to go on a mini shopping spree. My first thought was – seriously, are you kidding me? My second thought was to give it to my mom, who had just spent a week nursing me back to health after a nasty virus.

“I have a surprise for you,” I told her.

“What? What is it?” she said anxiously.

“I can’t tell you Mom that’s why it’s a surprise.”

“Well, tell me. Just tell me.” My mom hates surprises. I caved a few days later but she refused and instead ended up taking Benjamin so I could shop in peace. So there I was with $300.00 to burn and no idea what to buy.

I wandered around JC Penney and saw so many cute things.

for super cheap.

and then I had a huge idea… new bedding!

It took me about 45 minutes to settle on one set but finally I found this one by American Living (and a cute hat for me and some cute dark-wash jeans for Benjamin).

Here’s what it looks like in my room! I’m actually in it right now as I type, unable to get out of bed because it’s so incredibly comfortable. And there are no more ex-bugs in this bed… now I’m really free.

Have you made a new bed yet – literally or emotionally?

My set has since sold out online but you can find many more American Living styles here- most are on sale.

Good night my lovelies, sleep tight. Don’t let the ex-bugs bite.

Here’s another post on baggage you may enjoy.

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Don’t Let the Ex-Bugs Bite
December 14, 2008 at 3:09 pm

{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

Anna December 14, 2008 at 3:38 pm

I know just what you mean…but I didn’t just ditch the bedding…I bought a brand new mattress to boot! 😉

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Anna December 14, 2008 at 3:38 pm

And your bedding looks lovely, by the way!

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Momma Mac December 14, 2008 at 5:05 pm

Love the new bedding! And I know what you mean. When the ex was finally out of the picture. I ditched the WHOLE BED and upgraded to a king size (gotta love IKEA). Now the little leopards and I can snuggle up in there without any riff raff!

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Dawn December 14, 2008 at 5:20 pm

That bed is so inviting! How about the jewelry leftovers? Those are the items associated with my ex-husbands … mine were given to friends. I just couldn’t stand to see the tokens.

Don’t let the ex-bugs bite … LOL!

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O Solo Mama December 14, 2008 at 5:31 pm

Beautiful, beautiful. The bedroom is a sanctuary. Adn you have one!

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Matt T. December 14, 2008 at 6:12 pm

I actually did change my bedding when I moved to DC. I’d had sort of a rough patch in my life and decided I needed to change something in a positive way, at least.

So, I too went to JCP and bought a set that’s all organic. That wasn’t the main reason I bought them (I thought they looked nice), but it’s nice.

I also sort of lost some man points that day. Yes I, a man, bought shams. *hangs head in shame*

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LTP December 14, 2008 at 6:19 pm

This is so timely….when I left my husband 2.5 years ago, I went out and bought a pink sofa and chair….it represented my “freedom” and new life as a single woman. I was so happy about the pink furniture that I joked about having a housewarming party hosted by me and the pink furniture. The pink furniture has been great….but now as I pack up my life here in Athens and move to the “big city” (though an anonymous reader chided me for thinking ATL was “big”…whatever…it’s big to me), I decided a few weeks ago that it was time to part with the pink furniture. I knew one of my girlfriends, Nikki, would love it and I offered to sell it to her. While I was in the mood, I also decided I would buy a new bed–I took the one from my marriage and a few guys have slept in it–but it’s time to let go of that as well. I love the bed itself so it will now live in the guest room of my new house along with the dresser that belonged to my granny. Some of my friends have been shocked that I’m parting with the pink furniture–but it feels like the right time. What it once represented to me, no longer seems to be what I want to be reminded of–that I’m single. Like really single with no boyfriend. So goodbye pink furniture….I will always miss you.

(don’t be surprised if you click over to my blog and see a piece about this….I had been wanting to write about it anyhow)

Love the bedding, Alaina…..a comfy bed is a wonderful thing. : )

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Laura December 14, 2008 at 8:32 pm

I love bed linen and bought NOTHING with me when I left Mr Ex!

So my mom bought me the prettiest pink one with butterflies on – Mr Ex would have hated it – so it was PERFECT!!!

And she has just made me another one!!

Your new set is very pretty!!

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yvonne December 14, 2008 at 8:40 pm

It looks so comfy.

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mssinglemama December 14, 2008 at 9:08 pm

XOXO to all of you… seriously, I am so relieved you can all relate to this and that (most of you) approve of my comforter pick.

Thanks for the comments!!!

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Dawn December 14, 2008 at 9:43 pm

Matt T. — Shams make the bed a work of art. There is no shame … a lot of panting and vibrating, but no shame.

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Lex December 15, 2008 at 12:35 am

This is next on my list!

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Zoeyjane December 15, 2008 at 12:36 am

Nice timing! I’d just decided that my exmas present to myself was going to be new bed sheets and a duvet cover and soft, gloriously cozy pillows!

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solo mama December 15, 2008 at 7:12 am

Maybe a new mattress is in order instead of a Mac! Thanks for the Apply-tips last week! Beautiful comforter by the way!

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Wyliekat December 15, 2008 at 7:18 am

You know, I went out and bought new bedding immediately, too. I justified it because I was selling our old house and needed to “stage” the place. But in reality, I needed to sleep in something that had no memories whatsoever. And belonged solely to me.

I totally get this.

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littlemansmom December 15, 2008 at 7:29 am

Absolutley BEAUTIFUL!!!!

When I left my x, not only did I leave my bedding behind, I also left my bed! NO WAY did I want anything to do with that! For the first few months I slept in a mattress on the floor, and then, when I saved up a bit I went out and bought myself a new bed, sheet and duvet…..one of the best cleansing exercises I ever did….;)

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Erin December 15, 2008 at 9:21 am

I love your bedding! What a haven! I did the same thing, I got rid of the bedding that we used as a couple. I too had used it as a single woman before. I still have the bed (can’t afford a new one) but eventually would like to get a new one. I know for me that the most cleansing thing I did was move. I didn’t realize how oppressive the home we rented together was until the lease was up and I left. That place was full of ghosts!

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Ms. Single Mama December 15, 2008 at 11:14 am

Erin – that’s a really, really good point… I think finding a new place is absolutely a given.

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movin' down the road December 15, 2008 at 6:25 pm

that’s awesome. When I moved out, I left everything behind except sentimentals and clothes and things of the kids’. Which means, I left my couch, bed, bedding, you name it, behind, with him. I dont miss it. It was a good way to clean out immediately!

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Treemama December 15, 2008 at 7:39 pm

when i first moved i wanted to throw away all the things we had from our home together. didn’t want to see them at all, towels, comforters, etc.

financially though i couldn’t do it.

i have a print that i bought for him, but that i really loved that we had in our bedroom. i really want to get rid of it. bad, bad feelings, but i spent $200 to have it frames, yeah, before kids.

it’s sitting in my new bedroom, not hung.

i’m not there yet.

glad you are.

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elisabeth December 15, 2008 at 7:41 pm

I got new bedding immediately that I knew ex would hate and I ended up hating it. It just yelled “you are still letting him control your life, just the other end of the pendulum.”

So I bought a new set. Redid my whole bedroom and bathroom in pink. (well antique rose and olive green) But now I love it. It just screams, yes I got the colors I wanted!

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Jen December 16, 2008 at 5:19 pm

All of my stuff is in storage — my dad is letting me live at his place while I accumulate enough money to buy a home. I plan to get a new mattress and bedspread, but I see my bedroom furniture as a trophy — My ex gave it to me when we had a fight. : )

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Serenadragon January 19, 2009 at 7:28 am

I finally went out this weekend and bought new bedding – I’ve been promising it to myself for a LONG while now (Divorce was final in Sept, but separated 11months ago) It’s pink, well the packaging says ‘Dark Berry’ but who are they kidding!
I love it, couldn’t wait to snuggle into the newly made up bed last night, & had the best nights sleep I’ve had in ages. So much so that I overslept this morning!
I would like to get a new mattress, but as some of the other commenters have mentioned, money is an issue but I’ll get there!

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bed covers November 23, 2013 at 7:26 pm

At this moment I am going away to do my breakfast,
after having my breakfast coming again to read further news.

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