Don’t let the ex-bugs bite.
Meet my comforter.
I’ve had it since 2003.
I bought it when I was single – very single. I had yet to even meet my ex-husband when I spotted it in a sale bin. The purple version of Carrie Bradshaw’s blue Calvin Klein comforter in the first few seasons of Sex and the City, I fell in love instantly. I was a broke 25-year-old, obsessed with Sex and the City, so naturally I felt like the comforter and I were destined for each other.
Six months later I met my now ex-husband. Two years later I would be giving birth to our son, shortly before leaving him… all with this comforter around.
In fact, I loved that comforter so much I couldn’t even bring myself to toss it after I left him – over two years ago now.
After all it was mine and it embodied everything that made me proud to be single, independent and free. No mind that I’d spent the last year of our marriage tugging at it to get more of the comforter on my side of the bed – trying to cover my giant freezing pregnant belly. Forget the time I had Benjamin on the bed, nestled between two pillows, while I pressed myself up against the bedroom door trying to keep my ex from barging in to yell at me harder.
I don’t tie material things to memories like some, instead I just keep using them – my logical thrifty nature winning over my psychological health. But over this past year the comforter had been losing its appeal. I needed to ditch it… but how? No time to shop. Not much money to shop.
——
When JCPenney and the BlogHer Ad Network gave me a $300.00 gift certificate to go on a mini shopping spree. My first thought was – seriously, are you kidding me? My second thought was to give it to my mom, who had just spent a week nursing me back to health after a nasty virus.
“I have a surprise for you,” I told her.
“What? What is it?” she said anxiously.
“I can’t tell you Mom that’s why it’s a surprise.”
“Well, tell me. Just tell me.” My mom hates surprises. I caved a few days later but she refused and instead ended up taking Benjamin so I could shop in peace. So there I was with $300.00 to burn and no idea what to buy.
I wandered around JC Penney and saw so many cute things.
for super cheap.
and then I had a huge idea… new bedding!
It took me about 45 minutes to settle on one set but finally I found this one by American Living (and a cute hat for me and some cute dark-wash jeans for Benjamin).
Here’s what it looks like in my room! I’m actually in it right now as I type, unable to get out of bed because it’s so incredibly comfortable. And there are no more ex-bugs in this bed… now I’m really free.
Have you made a new bed yet – literally or emotionally?
My set has since sold out online but you can find many more American Living styles here- most are on sale.
Good night my lovelies, sleep tight. Don’t let the ex-bugs bite.
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I know just what you mean…but I didn’t just ditch the bedding…I bought a brand new mattress to boot!
And your bedding looks lovely, by the way!
Love the new bedding! And I know what you mean. When the ex was finally out of the picture. I ditched the WHOLE BED and upgraded to a king size (gotta love IKEA). Now the little leopards and I can snuggle up in there without any riff raff!
That bed is so inviting! How about the jewelry leftovers? Those are the items associated with my ex-husbands … mine were given to friends. I just couldn’t stand to see the tokens.
Don’t let the ex-bugs bite … LOL!
Beautiful, beautiful. The bedroom is a sanctuary. Adn you have one!
I actually did change my bedding when I moved to DC. I’d had sort of a rough patch in my life and decided I needed to change something in a positive way, at least.
So, I too went to JCP and bought a set that’s all organic. That wasn’t the main reason I bought them (I thought they looked nice), but it’s nice.
I also sort of lost some man points that day. Yes I, a man, bought shams. *hangs head in shame*
This is so timely….when I left my husband 2.5 years ago, I went out and bought a pink sofa and chair….it represented my “freedom” and new life as a single woman. I was so happy about the pink furniture that I joked about having a housewarming party hosted by me and the pink furniture. The pink furniture has been great….but now as I pack up my life here in Athens and move to the “big city” (though an anonymous reader chided me for thinking ATL was “big”…whatever…it’s big to me), I decided a few weeks ago that it was time to part with the pink furniture. I knew one of my girlfriends, Nikki, would love it and I offered to sell it to her. While I was in the mood, I also decided I would buy a new bed–I took the one from my marriage and a few guys have slept in it–but it’s time to let go of that as well. I love the bed itself so it will now live in the guest room of my new house along with the dresser that belonged to my granny. Some of my friends have been shocked that I’m parting with the pink furniture–but it feels like the right time. What it once represented to me, no longer seems to be what I want to be reminded of–that I’m single. Like really single with no boyfriend. So goodbye pink furniture….I will always miss you.
(don’t be surprised if you click over to my blog and see a piece about this….I had been wanting to write about it anyhow)
Love the bedding, Alaina…..a comfy bed is a wonderful thing. : )
I love bed linen and bought NOTHING with me when I left Mr Ex!
So my mom bought me the prettiest pink one with butterflies on – Mr Ex would have hated it – so it was PERFECT!!!
And she has just made me another one!!
Your new set is very pretty!!
It looks so comfy.
XOXO to all of you… seriously, I am so relieved you can all relate to this and that (most of you) approve of my comforter pick.
Thanks for the comments!!!
Matt T. — Shams make the bed a work of art. There is no shame … a lot of panting and vibrating, but no shame.
This is next on my list!
Nice timing! I’d just decided that my exmas present to myself was going to be new bed sheets and a duvet cover and soft, gloriously cozy pillows!
Maybe a new mattress is in order instead of a Mac! Thanks for the Apply-tips last week! Beautiful comforter by the way!
You know, I went out and bought new bedding immediately, too. I justified it because I was selling our old house and needed to “stage” the place. But in reality, I needed to sleep in something that had no memories whatsoever. And belonged solely to me.
I totally get this.
Absolutley BEAUTIFUL!!!!
When I left my x, not only did I leave my bedding behind, I also left my bed! NO WAY did I want anything to do with that! For the first few months I slept in a mattress on the floor, and then, when I saved up a bit I went out and bought myself a new bed, sheet and duvet…..one of the best cleansing exercises I ever did….;)
I love your bedding! What a haven! I did the same thing, I got rid of the bedding that we used as a couple. I too had used it as a single woman before. I still have the bed (can’t afford a new one) but eventually would like to get a new one. I know for me that the most cleansing thing I did was move. I didn’t realize how oppressive the home we rented together was until the lease was up and I left. That place was full of ghosts!
Erin – that’s a really, really good point… I think finding a new place is absolutely a given.
that’s awesome. When I moved out, I left everything behind except sentimentals and clothes and things of the kids’. Which means, I left my couch, bed, bedding, you name it, behind, with him. I dont miss it. It was a good way to clean out immediately!
when i first moved i wanted to throw away all the things we had from our home together. didn’t want to see them at all, towels, comforters, etc.
financially though i couldn’t do it.
i have a print that i bought for him, but that i really loved that we had in our bedroom. i really want to get rid of it. bad, bad feelings, but i spent $200 to have it frames, yeah, before kids.
it’s sitting in my new bedroom, not hung.
i’m not there yet.
glad you are.
I got new bedding immediately that I knew ex would hate and I ended up hating it. It just yelled “you are still letting him control your life, just the other end of the pendulum.”
So I bought a new set. Redid my whole bedroom and bathroom in pink. (well antique rose and olive green) But now I love it. It just screams, yes I got the colors I wanted!
All of my stuff is in storage — my dad is letting me live at his place while I accumulate enough money to buy a home. I plan to get a new mattress and bedspread, but I see my bedroom furniture as a trophy — My ex gave it to me when we had a fight. : )
I finally went out this weekend and bought new bedding – I’ve been promising it to myself for a LONG while now (Divorce was final in Sept, but separated 11months ago) It’s pink, well the packaging says ‘Dark Berry’ but who are they kidding!
I love it, couldn’t wait to snuggle into the newly made up bed last night, & had the best nights sleep I’ve had in ages. So much so that I overslept this morning!
I would like to get a new mattress, but as some of the other commenters have mentioned, money is an issue but I’ll get there!