Just look at this kid and try to tell me he isn’t going to be a fearless athlete.

Here he is yesterday, on our second trip out trouncing and sledding around the neighborhood.

Clearly ready to beat the snot out of any snow man that tries to ruin his day. Give Benjamin an accessory – like a sled – and he gets into position, as if he’s been doing it for years

Breaking his concentration only to shout at his Mommy slave, “run faster Mommy! FASTER!”

After a few hours of sled-walking-pulling (too scared to take him on a big hill because we are in a two-week health insurance lapse) we packed up into the car and headed to a bowling tournament for the MJB Foundation. And after one too many of Benjamin’s balls landed (and stopped) in the gutter

John Bear lent a hand, or two

And then I saw – for the first time – Benjamin’s first victory dance. Each one started like this. With Benjamin, intensely watching the ball

before spinning around

and then pumping his fist into the air with a loud and very masculine, “Yeeessssss.”

and then, all while shouting “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

he would run back to his team

and actually go airborne

before making it to their open hands for a high-fives and big hugs.

He gets the athleticism from his father, the competitive spirit from his mother and with this guy as his coach -

If anything, Benjamin is going to be a fierce bowler. But I also have dibs on bobsledding.

See more pictures of our snowy bowling weekend (including John Bear’s perfect form) here.

I took this picture of myself in my office the other day.

It felt weird.

To take my own picture, but I had to for our Sway website (currently in the works). So I set the camera on top of three books and an end table then hit the auto-timer. Somewhere in the span of 10 seconds it caught this picture.

I like it. Not only because it’s a cute shot (it is pretty cute – it’s okay that I think that, right?) but because it captures exactly how I feel right now.

When I am an old lady (hopefully I get there) lying in my bed, daydreaming about some of the best days and times in my life – this will be one of them, one of those shining years. And when I am grasping for the memory, the feeling of what it feels like to be living my life in this moment – I’ll look at this picture (assuming I can still see).

It started one year ago, last February when I went to Joshua Tree. The oasis where the past and the future meet. Remember? That place is magical. Seriously.

So, what are you going to do to set the wheels of change in motion for your life today, this week or this year? Last February (before Joshua Tree) I quit smoking. Cold turkey.

On my one year anniversary of quitting (February 16th) I am going to challenge each of you to quit something for seven days. Just seven days. You can pick it back up after. But I am hoping all of you (under the scrutiny of myself and my readers) can stick to your commitment. You can quit anything – maybe it’s quitting thinking negative thoughts about your hair or using plastic cups.  I don’t care what it is. But we all need to quit something. And if you can do it for seven days – well, that’s a start.

Little victories like that are huge in the game of life.

I hope you don’t all throw eggs at me now and boo me away for being all preachy. I don’t mean to be. What do you think? What will you quit?

P.S.

Check out even more pictures of our new space and our team on the Cement Marketing Flickr account.

Somewhere in the midst of this past week, filled with exciting client meetings, pitches, crash-course accounting, and just about no sleep I saw this picture

and gasped out loud.

“What?” Brad asked.

“Oh, nothing – just a picture of Benjamin. I miss him.”

It’s not like I haven’t seen him. Our routine is the same but there is an excitement he can sense and things have been a hair on the wild side over the past seven days.

So then I took a moment and scrolled through the rest of the pictures of my defiantly, spirited son – who never fails to impress me.

With his fierce strength

soft heart

and his sense of humor

A few minutes after we took these, Benjamin gulped down the rest of his hot chocolate and we went to his big boy hair appointment. At some point, I hope I washed his face.

I don’t remember.

What I do remember about that day – just days before I took on what feels like having a second child (my own business) – is having all of the time in the world to just be with him. And although this week has been a crazy one, things will settle down soon and I will have the freedom to be at that little man’s disposal. If I am sick. I am sick. If he is sick. I stay home. If his school is closed, he comes to work with me. Family first. Always. And without guilt.

If you have daydreams about your own escape from cubicle nation leave a comment and you’ll be entered to win a copy of Escape from Cubicle Nation by Pamela Slim.

Escape from Cubicle Nation is one of the only books I’ve found that absolutely inspires and rings true about what you should or should not do before quitting your day job. I’ll give you one hint – it’s not for the faint of heart and you need a plan. Don’t just jump out there without a safety net. Read her book. Plenty of answers and guidance.

The before…

Slightly frazzled but exhilarated adults, fueled by caffeine, adrenaline and the dream of finally realizing a dream

Children ready for bed

and enthralled by a secret or two

The furniture – a mish-mash of vintage Craigslist chairs and Ikea treasures, ready and waiting

to be cleaned

scrubbed

and tightened.

And then the after…

When, thanks to my Mother’s brilliance, everything

came

together

and stood the test of the morning light

more than enough to have the perfect meeting with my new and first client.

So we could relax after and unwind, but only for a moment

Because this is just the beginning of what our little meeting room will see

This small business brought to you by my Mom (the decorator and Craigslist maven), Ikea, Brad, John, Mia, you – my blog readers –  and our first client, Lifeline of Ohio. Find out more about Lifeline and Cement Marketing’s task for the organization soon. One hint – the makeover of their Website  and social media plan will make this office facelift seem like nothing.

So, what do you think of the office? We still have to bring in the plant life, the books, etc. But we love the space. And behind this meeting room is our office with three perfect desks and big, bright windows. More pictures soon – after we get settled.

I am not engaged.

John is not moving in with us.

And, I am not pregnant.

I hope that’s not incredibly disappointing. The last time I had big news, a few of you thought it was – so, so – not really worthy of such “teasing.” So here’s a snippet regarding the above — be patient because John Bear and I are definitely, absolutely and positively moving in that direction. We’re just taking our sweet time for a few reasons – the biggest being that there is no need to rush something that is meant to last a lifetime. Anti-climatic, I know. (But see #3 on the list down below for another teaser on that subject.)

Now… the news this time around.

Last spring, I left my very secure and stable day job as an ad agency’s senior interactive copywriter to break out on my own as a full-time blogger and a part-time freelancer. But it wasn’t easy – at all. I was working from home, with Benjamin in it and I had a lack of direction. When an appealing job offer landed in my lap, I bailed on the solo blogger plan and jumped at the chance for stability and certainty.

Less than one month into my new job I started feeling pangs of regret for a number of reasons. The one most disturbing was a heavy, undeniable gut feeling that I had given up too soon. The job was fine but the hours were grueling, the skill set (medical writing) was out of my realm and I was only partially focused on doing what I love – social and search marketing.

At home, John – who also lives and breathes all things interactive- and I started discussing what options we had. Working for other agencies seemed fruitless because it wasn’t our employers who were to blame for our restlessness, it was our own impatience and eagerness to do what we love – 100% of the time.

“We just have to be patient,” I told him. “The answers will surface.”

And soon after they did.

I opened an e-mail from a potential client. Their budget had cleared and they wanted to work with Cement Marketing, my freelance marketing group. Less than a week earlier John’s agency had “down-sized” his department and eliminated his position. All signs pointed toward go and so I did what every single mom shouldn’t do and I quit my job (again). I gave my employers (some really awesome guys) the resume of a friend of mine and a more than adequate replacement and then dove right into Cement Marketing.

This time, I would do a few things differently. I would need an office space, outside of my apartment and I would need to become a we. My long-time partner and best of friends, Bradley Spencer was down and now all we needed was John.

“We couldn’t work together,” he’d say.

“Why not?” I’d ask.

“I don’t know, it would just be weird.”

“Okay. Well, that’s that.” Unlike my usual self – I didn’t push him in one direction or the other, even though I thought it would be awesome. And after all, if you can’t work together – can you really raise children together? A relationship is a partnership in every sense of the word. Why not learn even more about each other and master our communication before another child or another wedding comes along?

We haven’t looked back since and in just the past 24 hours I have registered Cement Marketing as a business, started the official trademark process through my awesome and very official lawyers (we are hoping some Cement company won’t stand in our way) and today Brad, John and I found our office space.

The fated and absolutely perfect office – is directly above Wild Goose Creative – a performing arts studio, gallery and special events space.

Right now it looks like this….

Typically this wouldn’t be an issue. I would take my time setting it up but right now it’s Sunday night, going on Monday morning and our first client meeting is at 9:00 am on Tuesday morning. Pushing the meeting off is out of the question because we’re all way too excited and the project needs to kick off. And why have it somewhere else when this place can look up to snuff and absolutely fabulous by then? [And just wait until I tell you about my client. There couldn't be a more worthy or exciting non-profit. Destiny, I tell you - this entire thing.]

Tonight as I was clicking to confirm a reservation for a rental van to haul home all of the furniture we buy at Ikea tomorrow, I told John through the phone, “This should feel completely crazy, but it doesn’t. Do you feel like this is crazy?”

“No, I don’t. It actually feels really damn good.”

“I know. I’ll call you in the morning and we’ll go pick up the van.”

“Okay, Baby,” and then he added – the words practically jumping out of his mouth, “We’re gonna do this!”

Yeah, I think we are.

So, without further ado… I am proud to announce a few things:

1.  Cement Marketing. A full-service Web development firm with a focus on highly engaging social media content and search engine optimization. We operate out of Columbus, Ohio but can service any client, in any industry, the world over. Read more about Cement Marketing and our social and search marketing strategies. [P.S. Keep tabs on our blog and our Twitter because we'll be constantly buzzing. Between John, Brad and I things are going to be insanely fun and productive. Should be interesting.]

2. Sway Interactive Workshop. Coming soon… the Sway Interactive Workshop is a truly interactive, hands-on learning experience. The two-day workshops focusing on search and social marketing will be held this Spring. Attendees will receive one-on-one inspiration, instruction and training from myself, Advergirl (the amazing Leigh Householder), John Raymond and Bradley Spencer to develop and create every element they’ll need to launch their own search or social marketing campaign. More on this later.

3. (New) New Leaf Necklaces. You didn’t think I’d forget about you, did you? So John and I were at a jewelers last week. For no reason. Really. No reason at all. Nope. We were just in a jewelers. Totally normal place for a couple to hang out. Any whooooo… I had my new leaf necklace on and I asked him if they could do some magic and re-create it in pure sterling silver for me. And – guess what – they totally can. And guess what else? I am also going to have him make a new leaf charm bracelet. So, if you have more than one child you could buy extra leaf charms. (I owe the credit for the charm bracelet idea to @Jen_K_ my single mama sista and creative partner in crime. See her vision and work here.).

So how about all of them apples? Huh?

Did I disappoint again?

God, I hope not. I’m not sure if I can make up anything more exciting than this. Oh, and I will have oodles of photos. tweets, videos and Facebook updates as we make over this office space.

Stay tuned…

Definitely.

Something is definitely up.

I have been keeping it a secret from all of you for over three weeks now and I am about to explode – so excited to just get it out there. But we have to wait.

Until Monday.

A few thoughts running through my head:

Why do I do this to myself? But, then again, why not?

What if you’re all disappointed in me teasing you like this. It’s not that exciting. It is to me, to John Bear and to Benjamin – but to all of you? Humph. I’m not sure.

Those are my thoughts. Totally boring and uneventful.

While we’re waiting for Monday to get here and while I’m being boring and working my ass off  - tell me who you are.

I figure for every lurker that comes out and leaves a comment, another lurker will be entertained in reading said comment. So come out of hiding and tell me about yourself and one quick question:

Do you believe in fate? karma? both? why? why not?

Thanks and I love you. All of you. Even the psycho jerky ones of you.

xoxo

When Benjamin comes back from his father’s house he is a little monster.

And that’s putting it nicely.

When I ask him to clean his room he says, “NO. You clean it.”

When I ask him to pick something up he starts growling, something I am now convinced his father’s girlfriend’s son does. It’s awful. It’s like my son is a miniature version of someone else’s kid. Not that said other kid isn’t a sweet, darling little guy (because he is, I’ve met him) he’s just not my kid.

Typically, I would imagine, creating a co-parenting relationship to work out these kinks would be entirely possible. But not with my ex. Unfortunately trying to change Benjamin’s father, or even communicate with him, is virtually impossible. He just doesn’t listen. I should know – I tried for two years. And while he loves Benjamin, he pampers him. Couple that with Benjamin emulating his pseudo step-brother and you can imagine the outcome.

Or is it just that Benjamin is nearing four and turning into a full-fledged little boy with an attitude.

I can’t tell but I’m hanging on for the ride and practicing my yoga breathing moves so as not to completely go crazy on his little ass.

How do you handle the decompression time after a visit at Dad’s? Benjamin is there every other weekend, but it seems as he’s getting older – it’s taking longer to correct his behavior, get him back on a sleep schedule and down from his sugar highs of the weekend.

Any advice would be appreciated.

When I met Sheila we were at a single moms play date in Los Angeles.

She was soft-spoken, understanding and gentle.

I had no idea she had it in her to leave her unrewarding and negative work environment to break out on her own. To blog about beauty, to create her own jewelry and to pave her own path.

But she did.

She took a leap of faith and as we speak she is looking for that faith to kick in.

If you need a blog writer, a photographer or a social media consultant – contact Sheila. See her work here. Or, if you want to support her do one even better and buy a piece of her jewelry on Etsy (each piece ranges between the $10.00 and $20.00 range).

As a thank you, if you e-mail me a copy of the receipt for your purchase on Sheila’s Etsy site I will send you a free copy of my eBook, Ms. Single Mama Uncensored.

Because us single mamas have to stick together… without each other, where would we be?

John and Benjamin had a bit of a falling out over our Christmas vacation. And if you think a three-year-old and a thirty-year-old can’t be at odds, than I’m about to enlighten you.

In October, I gave John permission to take Benjamin into time outs when he witnessed bad behavior, or when John found himself on the receiving end of the bad behavior. For example, if Benjamin took a swing at John while yelling something like “you butt picker” John had my blessing to take him into his bedroom for a chat and a time out. Then, in November, John took his discipline approach up a notch and started intervening when Benjamin was throwing a fit directed toward me, his one and only precious mama.

Soon our plan back fired and Benjamin started acting out toward John – not only on occasion, but very often. He began saying things to John like “don’t talk to me” and started crying at the idea of John watching him. It wasn’t pretty.

After a particularly bad night over the holidays we all sat down and then I channeled Mrs. Brady and started off our first “family” discussion with, “John can you tell Benjamin why you are upset.”

“Benjamin, tonight when you told me not to talk to you at dinner – you hurt my feelings.”

“Now, it’s your turn Benjamin. What do you say? Can you say I’m sorry?”

“No! Because John Bear hurt my feelings, too.”

“Why Benjamin? How did John Bear hurt your feelings?” I asked.

“Because. He did.”

“Well, John Bear can you say ‘I’m sorry for hurting Benjamin’s feelings?’” John looked at me like I was crazy because technically, he hadn’t hurt Benjamin’s feelings and I was talking like a way too chipper psycho mom. But I kept pushing and after they both apologized to each other everyone went to bed, for better or worse.

The next day John and I re-assessed our discipline strategy.

“It’s just not working, or I’m not ready for you to discipline him, or Benjamin isn’t ready. Whatever the reason – you have to stop now and just enjoy him. Get in with him first. Earn his love and then you’ll have the respect you need to carry out any kind of fatherly discipline.”

John was silent, just listening and taking it all in or, my paranoid relationship saboteur-self thought, deciding he had had enough of me and us.

“You’re not his father yet. You’re still my boyfriend. And we shouldn’t rush this part of the equation. And when you’re over at my place, you can’t pay so much attention to me – you have to be completely focused on Benjamin because in his world, everyone is there to see him, to be with him. He shouldn’t have to fight for attention.”

“Okay,” he said, “I’ll do it. I’ll try my best.”

“And I’m not worried about how you’ll be as a father, John. You are going to be magnificent. It’s just too much for us all to take on. For you, for me and for Benjamin. Let’s just relax. And besides, I have three years of practice on you.”

I must have gone on for 10 minutes straight. Just talking openly and honestly about all of these things and realizing that I wasn’t ready, quite yet, to co-parent.

The next time they hung out John immersed himself in having fun with Benjamin. [Remember the scrambled eggs? Same thing.]

And just like that, some kind of light bulb went off and Benjamin decided he was madly in love with John Bear.

Over the past few weeks John has had very little reason to discipline Benjamin because there hasn’t been a reason. And for me, as a single mom, this kind of scene is the stuff dreams are made of… this is my fairy tale.

And may I always retain my ability to channel Mrs. Brady when necessary.

I am not sure working like this is entirely healthy for anyone, let alone a single mom. My back and shoulders are a tight, tangled mess of nerves and poor posture induced kinks. My face keeps breaking out and my bedroom is constantly messy, always a sign of being too busy to breathe.

I need to buy one of those jacuzzi tubs or enslave a personal massage therapist. Between work, the house and Benjamin I rarely find a moment to myself – in the peace and quiet of the nothing to do.

How can us professional parents keep up with the childless who can devote 100% of their energy to their work? And isn’t there something wrong with this picture? Overworked workers, unemployment lines growing, parents who are left with no time to raise their children and young people who know having a child would spell disaster for their career.

Are we all just being taken for a ride? A ride that ends at the last and final stop when we wake up (too late) to realize we have worked our lives away. Shouldn’t we all slow down a bit? Seems like we’re all getting a bit carried away. Or maybe it has always been like this and I am just the mother of a three year old lost in the Land of the Toddler standing her gaping at the Land of Employment During a Recession.

The future scares me (just a little bit). Nothing to panic about.

It’s my neurotic paranoia setting in as the months fly by and I wonder when they will turn into years flying by. The end. I hate thinking about the end and I don’t want it to get here (not yet).

Not like this.

Life has to slow down first so I can enjoy the moments, or at, the very least, take a damn bath. One year ago I wrote this post for WeTV asking the real mothers to please stand up and I explored Gloria Steinem’s thought that the women’s rights movement isn’t over – that true success is not doing it all. I wondered out loud how we mothers could be held up to such impossible standards:

The pressure of motherhood in today’s world, if you think about it, is unbelievable — and it comes at us from every direction, every day, in every hour and in every minute. If we’re doing one thing, we’re often thinking about another. If we’re working, we wish we could be home with the kids. If we’re staying at home, we wonder what it would be like to have that career. But while raising a human is arguably the most important job on this planet, there are no exceptional clauses to protect mothers in the work place….

Today with the advent of blogs and all other forms of online communication, millions of moms are rewriting the definition of success by telling their own stories – re-writing the definition of success one word at a time. The real stories from the trenches of motherhood have emerged.

As a result, advertisers, politicians, employers and the media are no longer telling us how to think, or what we should feel but asking us for a seat at the table. As for whether or not it will work, we’ll see but at least it’s a start.

If you’re like me (crazed about making it work with so little time and searching for clarity) read Seth Godin’s free and new eBook, What Matters Now. Absolutely awesome. I read a new page every morning, savoring them before they run out.

What are your thoughts? Do you think the US should follow suit of European countries, like Germany, and give mothers many more freedoms to stay home with their little ones if they choose? Should we take a step back and demand mothers’ rights in the workplace?

Personally, I have an exceptional job and am treated very well at work – but the hours are naturally demanding and I have to keep up with people who don’t have children, so that’s tough personally because as much as I would like to slow down, I want to do it all. I want to be everything to everyone.

I am not unhappy or depressed. The rushed feeling is just killing me. Share your thoughts. Really curious about what you all think.

—–

The above is why it has taken me so long to announce the winner to my New Year New Leaf contest.

It was a tough call but I thought her post nailed the mission.

Each and every one of you who entered should have received your free copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored by now. If you haven’t, e-mail me and I’ll get you one right away.

You all inspire me beyond belief. Every single day. You tell me I inspire you, but – believe me – it’s the other way around.