FAQs

Why are you a single mother?

I left my ex-husband when my son was only 4-months-old. Read my post on Why I am a Single Mother to find out why.

Are you advocating single motherhood?

I am an advocate of happy children. Period. By leaving my husband my son and I were able to flourish both physically, emotionally and even financially. Rather than witnessing a horrible marriage, Benjamin lives in a happy and loving environment – and always will (if I have anything to do with it). Many women find my site through the post “Should I Leave My Husband?“. I encourage everyone in an unhappy marriage to exhaust all options before ending the relationship. This should include therapy, marriage counseling and a lot of soul searching. In short, I am an advocate of happy single mothers. Most of us didn’t deliberately choose this path but here it is and we need to make the best of it.

How do I start dating again?

Dating as a single mother is incredibly challenging. Most of us are stuck in mommy or work mode and the idea of spending another ounce of our energy on a man can be overwhelming, let alone finding the time to actually go out on a date. If you think you’re ready to start dating again start here.

Where are Benjamin’s two front teeth?

My son will probably be a mountain climber one day. He’s been walking since he was 10-months-old and has absolutely no fear. Until his two-year-old balance kicked in he had quite a few falls and tumbles. In one of these falls – on Christmas morning in 2007 – he cracked one of one of his front teeth. The dentists recapped it but the cap didn’t last and they had to pull it out. Without the first front tooth to protect the other another fall killed the second one. Read more about Benjamin’s teeth and my kid’s lack of fear here.

Where is your son’s father?

Benjamin’s father lives just shy of two hours from our house. He has visitation rights and sees him once a week for 36 hours. He is originally from Quebec, Canada and I sometimes think he may go back home one day.

Recently he offered to take Benjamin for two nights a week instead of one. My theory is that it’s because Benjamin is older now and easier to take care of – he also needs his father more than ever and has been asking about him constantly. I’m just playing this day by day, keeping their bond in tact with the best interest of my son always in mind – before mine or my ex-husband’s and so far that little rule has not failed me.

How tall are you?

I’m 5’9″. Believe it or not many of you have e-mailed me with this question. Weird. But there you have it. I’m also a middle child and one of six. My astrological sign is Aries and I like sushi.

What’s the deal with that Ford Fiesta?

In March of 2009 I applied to be a Ford Fiesta agent and I was one of the 100 socially web savvy agents chosen. In exchange for the car (which I’ll have for six months) I have to complete a new mission every month. Not too shabby considering the missions are going to be awesome. Check out all of my Ford Fiesta agent action on my Fiesta Movement agent page here.

If you have any other questions, please leave a comment and I’ll get you an answer.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Toni Muller March 4, 2009 at 3:59 pm

i live in florida and am single mother of two. i have never been married and found the court system of child support and custody very difficult to navigate. Since I went through all this and had to learn the laws and such, i have had a yearning to help other single mothers do the same. I have help a total of three of my friends who needed it and everything has turned out great for them. My question would be what steps do you recommend i take to become a single mother's advocate?

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mssinglemama March 4, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Start a blog!

I think there's an incredible need for this.

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babymamadrama March 25, 2009 at 7:08 pm

Yes please!
my son is one year old and i just began the process here in puerto rico, where we live. his dad lives in california, where my son was conceived. the process isnt an easy one anywhere, no matter when you start, i am sure, but our archaic and third worldy system doesnt help matters any. i found out they found him at his new address, and sometime in the next 60 days he is supposed to receive notification of the case. then he has 30 days to submit to the paternity test. the thing is, even though he gets paid california dollars, we will receive a sum based on PR's economy (much lower wages). its frustrating to say the least. i met with a free legal adviser , which helped clarify a lot of my questions, but its still quite a confusing process and seems to have a few loopholes…

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Jess April 12, 2009 at 5:06 pm

My husband and I are just recently splitting up. I am only 23 and am terrified of dating again. I am scared no one will want me since I have a 2 year old and divorced at 23. How and when do I tell the next man all about the baggage?

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mssinglemama May 18, 2009 at 12:36 am

This depends on the guy but I typically tell them right away if I have any interest. You are much younger though and the men you date may freak easier than the guys I date – who are typically 28 and older…

Read this post for advice on when to tell him you are a single mother:

http://mssinglemama.com/2007/11/06/when-do-you-te

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sassysinglemama August 6, 2009 at 6:05 pm

OMG you think thats bad Jess I’m 22 and have two little boys who r 3 and 2 lol you wanna talk about pest control there they are. Children in my eyes have helped me look for the best men instead of the best in men! I was always the one sticking up for the boy friend then looking like a idiot but not anymore. its kinda refreshing

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Jenn Klemens November 4, 2010 at 12:42 pm

How do we change our Usernames? I don’t want my real name appearing.

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singlemamaista February 15, 2011 at 12:58 am

I just stumbled across your page the other day, and for lack of better words, am obsessed. I think the one of the greatest challenges being a single mom is finding people, a group, what-have-you, that can identify with your situation. So thank you for providing me with the knowledge that there are many women out there going through the same things I am :)

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ms.single January 5, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I am a single mom of 3 kids (between 10 and 14). I just started seriously dating again, but the person I am dating has never dated a woman with kids. He is concerned that we have been together for 8 months and while he cares about me and the kids, he’s not in love with me9nor am i with him). We have taken the relationship very slowly since I do have kids but now he feels it is a problem. Can you offer any advise as to how to work through this?

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Natasha February 26, 2012 at 11:35 am

I have just become a single mum 2 weeks ago after 7 years. I have been left distresses, angry and cheated as my husband decided after 7 years and 5 half year old twins later he had not lived his life the way he wanted to and needed to enjoy himself. He was controlling and cut me off from friends and family.
I am looking for mothers who are and have been through a similar experience to help pull me through.
Thanks

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tammy March 27, 2012 at 3:58 am

hi everybody,I’m become a single mom before 2 years ago when I’m 21 years old.too young,right?I have a pretty daughter,she’s 2 years old.I accept my life without a man because it’s a long sad story.everything it’s ok.I hopes we will a big family,I want to have lot of friends.night to meet you.

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Single mom of 3 August 23, 2012 at 8:21 pm

i have more of a question than a comment… Here’s the situation. My son is four years old, when my son was born he was giving my last name with a -then his fathers last name. It appears this way on his social sercurity card. His father and I have never been married. His father never signed his birth certificate or got a affidavate for the birth certificate to have his name put on his birth certificate. I have not yet ordered a birth certificate to have at home for my own copy. My question is are there any special steps i need to take to have the second last name droped ? I’m looking into having his dad last name droped because it is becoming confusing with things like medical redords and insurance. Cause they will use the second last name and just not put the first last on things. And his father does not pay child support he very very raley see my son now since he has a new girlfriend and him and his new girlfriend has a baby together. I am wondering would i have to have his permission to drop his last name or could i do it without evening involving him. Thank you in advance for your time, all opinions are greatly apperciated any advice would be great thank you.

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Tom Gross October 2, 2012 at 12:05 am

How do i change my password

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Tom Gross October 2, 2012 at 12:06 am

I don’t know what it currently is

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watsontl November 19, 2012 at 3:09 pm

I am a single mom of an 11 and 6 year old. I’ve been dating for the past two years since my divorce and I can’t find anyone to commit. It has been an emotional rollercoaster. Every time I get close to a man he gets scared and that’s the end. My kids are spoiled and I have a hard time controlling them despite trying my best. They are my world and yes, I want someone to help me with them. Every man I’ve dated is concerned that they don’t want to over-discipline them but I want them to help me! It is hard! I’m also struggling financially and it doesn’t seem to get any better. I have a college degree and most people think I make good money but I don’t! I have tried a second job and it was too hard. I just feel like I am falling apart sometimes. My boyfriend is not very supportive but I think he just doesn’t know what to do. He has a child but she is grown and he did not raise her. He is a good man and I think he wants a future with me but he told me we have to take it slow. I just don’t know. It is so lonely sometimes I just lay in bed and cry. I have been so depressed. I don’t see my boyfriend much and I almost want to break up with him but being alone is an even worse thought.

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