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Comment on When the children wonder. by Onely

Onely — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 16:01:04 +0000

I sometimes wonder if my decision not to have kids was influenced by my fear that they’ll ask questions I can’t answer. Like, “Mommy, how to government bonds work?” Um, no idea. I don’t know how my own mom did it, in the days before Google.
Christina

Comment on When the children wonder. by coll

coll — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 13:51:48 +0000

Hi All~ I am Coll from NY recently spilt form fiance and we have a cutie 6 month old. I wanted to know if you have any information, such as a good blog to read, from the view point of a child who has gone through life as a healthy indivdual with parents who “co-parented” ~Thanks! Coll

Comment on Burning Your List by Gateway of Love « Crimson & Clover Diaries

Gateway of Love « Crimson & Clover Diaries — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 11:13:29 +0000

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Comment on From the feet of babes. by Jackie

Jackie — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 03:15:00 +0000

I am not sure if I would want to do this with my own kids. My in laws did this with my husband’s baby shoes though. He was born with club feet and had special orthopedic shoes when he was a toddler. They bronzed those special shoes which I think is nice!

Comment on When the children wonder. by Barnett

Barnett — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 01:31:57 +0000

I know this is a hard thing to deal with…

Growing up with an uninvolved father is not easy, but if it continues by the time he’s older and his father does start to want to be more involved he may likely have a numb feeling towards him like a stranger…

Thats what happened to me. I don’t hate my dad i just don’t care to know him.

Hopefully things can turn out different for your son.

Comment on I need a wife. by richard

richard — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:58:11 +0000

i need a goo-lookin woman bw the age of 18-27…i’m a little bit tall, not too dark, ant i speak english…for a serious relationship.

Comment on When the children wonder. by Lesli

Lesli — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 05:51:51 +0000

I’m not sure that there is ever an easy answer to questions from little ones. Based on the comments, I’d say that I think most of y’all are saying the right things! Kids, yours and mine, just want to know that they are loved, protected, and safe. Clearly we all have different situations but as long as you take the high-road when explaining why you and daddy aren’t together, you’ll do fine. Kids are really amazing….and while my own two tell me all the time how nice Daddy & Anna’s house is (Anna is the new wife), complete with the latest and greatest everything, they still run to me every time I pick them up from the weekend visit with their dad. If my older one tells me that he wants to go live with is dad when he turns 14 (the law here), then I’ll accept it….but I’m not counting on that happening. Stay strong, single mamas!

Comment on When the children wonder. by Lesli

Lesli — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 05:43:37 +0000

I would make a phone call to your ex immediately—because first of all, he isn’t supposed to be saying anything negative about you in the first place!! Here in GA, parents must go to a divorced-parenting class and as corny as it seemed, they actually showed a really great video–and it showed one parent saying bad / negative things about the other parent in front of or to the child—and how that was definitely a no-no. Sounds like you guys need to be on the same page….our kids are very intuitive….can’t hide much from them. Good luck.

Comment on When the children wonder. by KQ

KQ — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 02:04:23 +0000

My preschooler has now lived without her dad at home for more than half her life. The other day she was looking at a new Cinderella book and asking about stepfamilies and asked “what if you and daddy broke up?”

“We did. We are divorced. He isn’t going to live with us ever again.” I didn’t know what else to say. Because it’s true. But he joined the service, got deployed, and the last visit he had with them was in the mecca of fun and adventure down south. So, to someone small, it’s all a little surreal.

Early after the divorce my oldest told me “I want a new dad.”
“A new dad? Or your dad to come back?”
“A new dad.”
Gotta confess, that one threw me. I think I said something like “well, they don’t grow on trees.” I had to think it over and revisit that conversation later! He was old enough to hear that relationships take time and I wasn’t rushing into anything just so a man could be around. Thankfully (we are so blessed) my dad and brother live nearby and men at church (married ones, who have no sneaky ulterior motives) have pitched in to mentor and take him on “man outings” that I would never think of!

But I second an earlier comment. We should be honest and age-appropriate without being nasty or trying to bias the children. As children grow and develop their own relationship (or lack of) with the other parent, they’ll be able to reach their own conclusions. And maybe create their own kind of relationship with the other side…

Comment on When the children wonder. by Alli Steen

Alli Steen — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:36:19 +0000

My kids are still too young to ask questions about their absent father who left when I was pregnant with my youngest (18 months and 3 ) but i think about my answers all the time. My latest script is ‘yes you have a daddy but he isn’t really Part of our family, families come in all different shapes and sizes….’ and then I’ll use examples of different families in the animal kingdom. For a whole I thought I might just say ‘you just have a mummy but I can do all the things that a daddy does’ but it’s probably better to acknowledge that there is a daddy out there somewhere, in case he ever bothers to involve himself (it’s easier without him anyway)