This post is just a tease… read the full version of Why I am a Single Mother in Ms. Single Mama Uncensored, my 120 page eBook that brings the entire blog full circle. Buy your copy here.

The first time I thought of leaving my husband I was just 8 weeks pregnant.

He was unemployed again and spent his days parked on the couch without a care or worry.

“I’ll get a job when I need to, just stop to talk,” he would say in his thick French accent. The accent wasn’t sexy anymore. It had lost all of its luster.

Then there was also his complete unwillingness to improve our relationship. But instead of leaving him – I kicked him out. Two weeks later and two marriage counseling sessions I took him back.

I didn’t want to give up the chance, a fat chance, but still a chance that maybe he would be a better husband once the baby arrived.

Some men do change.

He wouldn’t.

It actually just got worse…

This post is just a tease… read the full version of Why I am a Single Mother in Ms. Single Mama Uncensored, my 120 page eBook that brings the entire blog full circle. Buy your copy here.

Keep Reading:

• Should I Leave My Husband?
• The Married Single Mom.

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1. Am I Single Mother By Choice?
2. Being a Single Mom With a Glass Half Full
3. Single motherhood – turns out, not so easy, but not so tough either.

It’s been two weeks now since Benjamin’s father has seen his son.

His car is broken down because he drove it without oil. Sigh.

Coincidentally Benjamin has also been sick, sick, sick. I have missed four days of work and will be missing two more. I am also broke because I’ve had to pay for an extra two days of childcare each week.

I called him today en route to the hospital today. Benjamin had a fever of 104.5 and I thought he should know about it.

“Oh,” he says, “Well, I’m in a meeting, I’ll call you back.” CLICK.

I called him tonight to vent a bit. I know, I know. Should have let it go. He’s completely out of our lives now but when I’m missing days upon days of work and he doesn’t even seem concerned or offer to take a day off from his job I get upset.

“I understand,” he says.

“No you don’t.” I snap. “You don’t understand. How could you understand? You have never, ever had to take a day off from work to take care of your son when he’s sick.”

What he says next blew my mind.

“If we were married I would. But, my boss is not going to give me a day off to take care of my ex-wife’s kid. We are not a family anymore.”

“What?!!! He’s your son. You mean he is less of a son to you because we’re not married? Your boss can’t think that unless you think that.”

I should have hung up at this point but I  didn’t. And then he drops this bomb (not the first time).

“It was your choice to leave me,” he says, “it was your choice and now you have to deal with it.”

Was it really my choice to be a single mom? Yes, in that the idea of actually still being with him, had I stayed, makes my skin crawl. Being a single mom is tough but being with a husband like him was a hell of a lot harder. He was cold, insensitive, hurtful and down right useless.

He’s now on month 9 of a relationship with another single mother. Her son is 6 and they’re now living together. Poor her. Poor kid.

If he would have had it his way, right now he would be sitting on MY couch, drinking MY beer, eating MY groceries and treating me like shit. I just wish he weren’t on another single mom’s couch right now. I wish I could warn her.

Conclusion = It was his choice to give me no choice.

Related posts:

1. Single Mom Dating Tips, Part 1
2. Being a Single Mom With a Glass Half Full
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After my last potential prince turned into a frog I looked at my best friend and said, “I just need a nice boyfriend.”

“I know,” she looked slightly concernted, “but it’s okay to be single for a while.” I realized…I have become way too desperate. It is okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it’s actually quite nice.

I used to love being single, used to relish in it and savour every moment knowing I could meet a new boyfriend any day and that these single moments would be lost. So in the past week it’s hit me – why do I really want a man? Do I even need one?

Sure, he could give me back rubs, sex, kisses, cuddles and hopefully make me laugh. But what else? Other than the fact that Benjamin will need a father, I can’t see any other reason to make room for a man in my life right now.

The reasons why I love being a single mom:

• I get to parent the way I want to parent
• I get to do whatever I want with Benjamin, whenever
• I get to focus 100% of my attention on Benjamin
• I am less stressed out
• I have more time to keep my life in order: cooking, cleaning, shopping
• I get to buy whatever I want without criticism
• I can hang out with whoever, whenever
• And the best part, I’m completely free and there’s always the chance that some day I will meet my Prince Charming.

Why do you love being a single mom?

Let’s focus on the positive for a moment, shall we? Being a single mom rocks. Really. We are pretty damn amazing. Every single mother I’ve ever met has been so strong, like a rock, fortified in her own solitude completely aware of the challenges and the rewards.

We don’t all have the answers. We don’t know why fate turned us down this path… but we go on, because we have to and in reality it’s not as hard as it sounds. At least we’re not married – that’s what really scares me. Do I need therapy? Maybe. Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I want to find someone eventually? Yes.

That will be another challenge and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I’ve got a pretty big bridge to cross. Can I cross two at once? Usually these things happen in a nice order. Love. Marriage. Baby in the baby carriage. Not baby in the baby carriage. Love and then marriage. But, doesn’t that sound like it could be, dare I say it, romantic and fun?

***UPDATE***

You might be interested in another post I wrote on loving single momminess that caused quite a stir with some angry readers. Read it here.

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