by mssinglemama on December 4, 2008
Shopping with Benjamin is like pulling teeth.
Shopping without Benjamin, as a nearly full-time single mom, is nearly impossible.
Stores in general just scare the living shit out of me. If you don’t believe me, read this.
So I’m doing 100% of my Christmas shopping online this year (I’m at least going to try my hardest).
Besides, now that he’s 2.9, sneaking things into the cart past Benjamin’s watchful little eyes is a lot tougher. On Monday night I hopped online to dive right into my Christmas shopping and check out what I found for Benjamin – a Melissa and Doug easel for $34.99 on Amazon, normally priced at $59.99.
I also bought the paper and paint kit for $20.58. The shipping was free and all of it landed on my doorstep on Wednesday afternoon!
Have I told you how much I love the internet lately?
Well, I do. Can’t imagine living without it. And have you discovered Etsy.com yet? All hand-made stuff, largely from mothers who stay at home. Unbelievable. I can not stop surfing that site.
Here’s a set of four mini tins for $10.00 from Magenta Designs. Aren’t these adorable? You could put cute, heartfelt notes inside and give them to your best friends. She also has the sweetest little magnets.
Have you found anything awesome online yet this season? Share the sites you love and the treasures you’ve found, it will save me some browsing.
by mssinglemama on November 5, 2008
Stress or maybe just too much to do – constantly running myself in a million directions – has weakened my immune system. Now I have some kind of nasty, nasty virus.
So here I am, flat on my back, unable to walk across a room without severe pain from this nasty whatever it is. My mother is here, along with her boyfriend, Larry, and Mr. Man. They all came up last night for our big election night out, long planned ahead of time – me knowing it would be the greatest night of our lives, one we would never forget.
We went – I sat – barely moving, watching them all enjoying themselves through a foggy haze and watching our now President-Elect Obama sweep state after state. We came home early and I curled up in bed with Mr. Man to watch his victory speech on my tiny laptop.
Now I’m still here in bed, still barely moving, while all three of them buzz around me. Mom cleaning, Mr. Man fixing my dryer and Larry doing who knows what to my yard. Benjamin is on his way back from his father’s this afternoon. Mr. Man will be gone by then but Mom will stay, she’ll stay she says – until I get back on my feet.
Usually I resist help, refuse it all together or deny that I need it – but today, unable to muster the energy to get out of my bed – I can’t stop them. It’s just so hard to believe my quiet house is filled with voices – adult voices – help.
by mssinglemama on October 23, 2008
He shows up every Tuesday morning to pick up Benjamin.
I gave up asking him about the massive credit card debt of his I had to assume or asking him to help out 
with Benjamin’s medical bills long ago. Instead I just brief him on Benjamin’s little happenings of the week – he doesn’t know because he never calls. Then I leave for work… a few hours later they take off for my ex’s town, my hometown, about an hour and a half from here. Less than 24 hours later, when I’m at work on Wednesday he brings him back and they spend the afternoon here in my (Benjamin and I’s) house.
Every Wednesday night I take stock of the damage.
Kitchen. Trashed. Living room. Even worse. I don’t even walk up to Benjamin’s room, I always save this for later so as not to send my body and mind into complete convulsions. But it’s just as bad. I’m not completely innocent here – much of the mess in my place is definitely mine. But every Wednesday night instead of coming home to a few dishes put away or maybe a swept floor, I come home with my mess on top of his.
There’s something you should know about me… I’m not a paranoid person. I don’t care that he’s here. I have nothing to hide. In fact, I like it, because I know my son is safe and sound in his home where he belongs. I don’t even mind that my ex helps himself to my coffee and my food. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on October 11, 2008
…for my column at SingleMindedWomen.com.
And if you missed the Single Mom 10 Commandment’s, Part 1 here they are. Thanks again for helping me put these together with all of your comments to my post the Single Mom Rules to Live By.
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Benjamin and I are going to have our first photo shoot tomorrow!
A fantastic photographer I met a few weeks ago offered to snap some pictures of the two of us together. Can you believe that? I can’t. I’ve been scrambling to pick out a few outfits all day. Conservative, sexy or in between? I can’t decide. There’s a good chance the results will be plastered all over this website so… nerve wracking and incredibly exciting at the same time.
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Someone asked me if my blog was my boyfriend yesterday.
I said – “Yes!” without hesitation. This blog is my boyfriend. Not literally. I don’t make out with my blog. My blog doesn’t keep me warm at night and whisper sweet nothings into my ear. But my blog keeps me happy, occupied, makes me laugh and sometimes talks back. And the time I spend on this blog is equatable to the time one would spend on a relationship. So, yes, in that sense, this blog is my relationship. And I am completely fine with that. For the first time in a long time my life has been completely focused on the right things and this is one of them.
Is that nuts? I’m not sure… I’ve always been an extremely driven workaholic and writing has always been my passion. So it makes sense that blogging would naturally be such a fit for me. I think every single mom should have a hobby like this by the way – something that fills that void where a man could be… not that they should be there. More on this later, I’m sure…
by mssinglemama on October 8, 2008
Or will it be next month?
Feels like it’s only a matter of time.
My little sister called me from the bar she works at in Virginia. Dave Matthews pops up every once in a while, it’s a hot spot.
“No one is here. It’s weird.” She says, her voice echoing amidst the empty tables and chairs. She and her husband are going to Iceland for a vacation next week. A country that is on the brink of filing for bankruptcy.
“I know.” I’ve got nothing to say that will make her feel better, “It’s happening isn’t it?” We can’t make it here anymore.
People aren’t shopping, aren’t eating out – freezing all spending. The government and us.
I went to a concert tonight. Death Cab for Cutie. Amazing.The band and the crowd. Everyone happy and satisfied. Places to sleep, jobs, food, beer. I’m hoping I’m wrong. That they’re wrong. But what if they’re not? No one really knows. And as a single mother, whose child support amounts to four percent of her income, I’m feeling very primal about dating right now.
Do I need a man?
Maybe.
Do I want a man?
Maybe.
I may need a man to punch some son-of-the-bitch in his face if he tries to steal my son’s food but I may want a man to tell me everything is going to be okay.
Anyone else feeling this way?
P.S.
This does not mean I’m going to hunt a man down just to serve up these requests – believe me – I’m not sold on the whole husband or man idea by any means. We’ll just have to make a commune of single parents. Anyone own an island? Let’s start plotting.
In the meantime, I’m going to take a karate class or something.
Back up reading (to keep you up at night) Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood.
