by mssinglemama on June 25, 2008
The first question most single parents ask when they finally get back out there on the dating scene is, “C
an I even date someone without a kid?”
The challenges to dating someone without a child can be daunting. Will they ever understand your life? And when they do – will they run away screaming in fear once they realize that parenting never ends? It can also be irritating to date childless people.
They often lack genuine empathy for your situation, talk about stuff that just seems pointless and annoy you with stories about how hard their lives are. But, as one of my friends said recently, “You can’t help who you fall in love with.”
When I left my ex-husband and Benjamin was just four-months-old I couldn’t imagine anyone joining our lives but they did and the relationships didn’t end because I’m a single mom, they ended because child or not we weren’t a good match.
Here are some things you can do to fan the flames of a romance with the single and childless. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on June 3, 2008
There are men, and then there are boys…
This weekend two boys (who shall remain unnamed) where sitting in my kitchen. I was hosting a mini after hours thing. So, I popped a pizza in the oven.
“I’m running outside, keep an eye on the pizza, okay?”
“What? What are we supposed to look for?” one of them asked.
I ignored it, assuming he was joking. Five minutes later I walked back inside and the oven was smoking. I flipped out. One thing about being a single mom with zero interest in boys…you don’t give a damn if they think you’re “uncool” or “bitchy” – especially if it’s late at night and you’ve had a few shots of tequila.
“What’s wrong with you guys? You seriously don’t know how to cook a frozen pizza?!!!”
Did they jump up to grab the pizza? No. They sat there defending themselves…they didn’t jump until the fire alarm went off – and even then, I had to tell them to go turn it off. Unbelievable.
These two boys are clearly far from becoming men, but that doesn’t mean they’re necessarily immature. Maturity is something that’s hard to put a finger on … and no matter what a boy or man’s age, his maturity level can run the gamut. The true measure of a man’s maturity is how he treats you, not whether or not he knows how to cook frozen pizza.
Enter Larry Bilotta’s Male Maturity Scale, he sent it to me after discovering my blog through the post, “Should I Leave My Husband?”. Usually reserved for married women trying to find out what makes their husband’s tick, Larry realized how useful this scale can be for dating single moms. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on May 29, 2008
Thomas, aka “the Dane”, started reading this blog long before his visit. And this morning, I found this in my inbox – a guest blog entry from Thomas on his experience with Benjamin and I.
For the men, this is the perfect addition to my series on How to Date a Single Mom. And for the single moms, here is proof that not all men run away screaming at the idea of dating a single mom (why? because we rock and so do our kids).
Here’s Thomas’ version of our long weekend:
Stepping out of the car in front of the house Benjamin came running towards me, “Daddy!, Daddy!”
Ed note: Benjamin calls every man “Daddy”
You can probably imagine my surprise. Being called “Daddy” by a boy you haven’t seen before – sounds actually like a nightmare. But it took a lot of pressure off of my shoulders. I didn’t have to worry about whether Benjamin would like me or not – a major concern of mine before coming. Instead I dropped my bags and started playing with him. This was followed by the warm welcome by Alaina whom I hadn’t seen in seven years. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on May 22, 2008
I would like to introduce you to a phone.
That thing with numbers. You push them. Then you talk to the person on the other end, and if it’s a girl you’re asking out for the very first time you make the call at a reasonable hour – ask her questions about herself, yada, yada – find a mutual meeting spot and set a date. You DO NOT SEND A TEXT MESSAGE.
If I were 15, it might be okay. But I’m 29! And I want to date a man, not a boy.
Remember the guy who kept texting me? I was so annoyed I texted him to call me the next time. Five days later, not phone call and then – another text. At this point the Dane had landed and the guy didn’t have shot in hell, but this is still funny.
Here’s how it ended.
Five days later … another text!
His Text: What are you doing this weekend?
My Text: Going to Athens.
His Text: Ha! See ya there.
My Text: Which festival are you going to?
No response.
And then late that night, while I’m falling asleep… my phone rings. It’s him! What??? I send it to voice mail. Then it rings again! And he leaves another voice mail. Two voice mails. The next morning I listen to them. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on May 14, 2008
Once upon a time, I was in love with my son’s father.
At the beginning, he would make me breakfast every morning. He would hold me tight and whisper sweet nothings into my ear. We couldn’t get enough of each other. The sexy french accent didn’t help either. And when he told me it was “Magic” I believed him. I still believe that. It was magic because we were supposed to make Benjamin.
My little prince charming.
Today, for the first time ever, he told me that he loves me.
“I uuvvv ooooh.”
I uv oooh too, Benjamin.
And if I could do it again. If I had to do it all over again, I would. Because you are my everything. And your toes are pretty damn cute too.
When you’ve already got one prince, can you make room for two? Did you ever believe in a Prince Charming? I know I did. I think I still do. Damn you Disney.
