by mssinglemama on September 22, 2008
I followed my gut.
And my gut was right. It was marvelous.
Cabin Man (who deserves another name all together and will now be called Kennedy) knocked the wind out of me.
On my long drive through the gorgeous, albeit slightly frightening bible beating countryside, I let my mind wander and threw all of my expectations out of the window. 
We met a few miles down the road from his house. As soon as he jumped in my car he couldn’t stop looking at me and then he said, ”You are stunning. Look at you! Now, what in the world is a girl like you visiting a guy like me for?”
“I like you,” I say, “And don’t be so modest, you’re not so bad yourself.”
Suddenly I wonder just what I am doing there. He lives two and a half hours away. We come from different worlds. Me a doctor’s daughter, him the son of a steel worker. But there’s something about him. Something I felt when we met last weekend. There’s a serious spark and it’s not just physical.
We grab some pizza and then head into the woods, to his cabin - soon to be a house, the camp fire is raging and the house behind it is nothing like I’d envisioned. It’s nice, very nice. Trees he dug up by hand, now naked of their bark, line the stairs up to a loft. This one room cabin is eventually going to be the living room of his house.
The project started after he’d found out his wife had cheated on him with his best friend. “Every nail,” he explains, “Every piece of this place was built in a blurry haze of anger. I felt like I’d been shafted.” [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on September 16, 2008
This is for the guys.
The men who have fallen madly and crazy in love with a single mom need our help. Time and time again I get e-mails from men telling me devastating stories of how their single mom, the love
of their life, is still tied to her ex emotionally. They find this out when it’s too late… after they’ve fallen hard. And sometimes I’m the one to break the bad news to them after putting two and two together.
Take Jon B. for example. Many of you know him from his active commenting on this blog… and for months now he’s been sharing beautiful comments about how he fell so hard for his single mom and her son. And now he’s discovered in the aftermath of their split that she’s still pining for her ex. Read about it here.
So how can men like Jon find out if a single mom is still attached to her ex before they fall head over heals for her? What can they do to help her along the way? Is there hope that she’ll move on? [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on August 6, 2008
A friend of mine has fallen.
Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for - BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE - marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this - both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.
What is a cab light you ask?
A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.
But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment - that’s relationship suicide.
So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap? [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on July 9, 2008
Here it is..
Ignore the smudge and it’s perfect. Making this video was SO MUCH fun.
Morgan and I will be together again soon to make more … let us know what you think of this one and if there’s anything else you’d like to see us discuss or cover! Above all, we hope this video helps you to realize that single moms are absolutely beautiful and absolutely dateable. In fact, we’re some of the best women out there … enjoy!
P.S. A big thanks to Depot Dad (our camera man), couldn’t have done it without him. All three of us met on iHeartSingleParents.com, the first and the greatest single parent social network. If you liked the t-shirts in the video buy them here.
by mssinglemama on June 28, 2008
Dating as a single mom is hard to describe to anyone other than my fellow single parents. Hence this blog and my slew of single mom and dad friends. Without them and without you, I’d be lost.
So here’s another dating tip from me to you … I think if you start practicing this immediately your love life will improve.
But first … some background on how I discovered the power of dating karma - back in my wild single days I wouldn’t think twice about blowing a guy off. Never calling him back or being dishonest with him about my intentions seemed like part of the game. “All is fair in love and war,” I used to say.
I had been hurt and so I would hurt back. It seemed fair. But now I see clearly that I was a coward on many levels. I didn’t have the courage or the maturity to tell men the truth. To this day I regret the pain that my dishonesty must have caused. Because each of those men probably went out and did the same thing to a woman they were dating.
I call it dating karma.
If you are dishonest with someone, cheat on someone or lie to them - pick your poison - it eventually comes full circle. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on June 25, 2008
The first question most single parents ask when they finally get back out there on the dating scene is, “C
an I even date someone without a kid?”
The challenges to dating someone without a child can be daunting. Will they ever understand your life? And when they do - will they run away screaming in fear once they realize that parenting never ends? It can also be irritating to date childless people.
They often lack genuine empathy for your situation, talk about stuff that just seems pointless and annoy you with stories about how hard their lives are. But, as one of my friends said recently, “You can’t help who you fall in love with.”
When I left my ex-husband and Benjamin was just four-months-old I couldn’t imagine anyone joining our lives but they did and the relationships didn’t end because I’m a single mom, they ended because child or not we weren’t a good match.
Here are some things you can do to fan the flames of a romance with the single and childless. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on June 3, 2008
There are men, and then there are boys…
This weekend two boys (who shall remain unnamed) where sitting in my kitchen. I was hosting a mini after hours thing. So, I popped a pizza in the oven.
“I’m running outside, keep an eye on the pizza, okay?”
“What? What are we supposed to look for?” one of them asked.
I ignored it, assuming he was joking. Five minutes later I walked back inside and the oven was smoking. I flipped out. One thing about being a single mom with zero interest in boys…you don’t give a damn if they think you’re “uncool” or “bitchy” - especially if it’s late at night and you’ve had a few shots of tequila.
“What’s wrong with you guys? You seriously don’t know how to cook a frozen pizza?!!!”
Did they jump up to grab the pizza? No. They sat there defending themselves…they didn’t jump until the fire alarm went off - and even then, I had to tell them to go turn it off. Unbelievable.
These two boys are clearly far from becoming men, but that doesn’t mean they’re necessarily immature. Maturity is something that’s hard to put a finger on … and no matter what a boy or man’s age, his maturity level can run the gamut. The true measure of a man’s maturity is how he treats you, not whether or not he knows how to cook frozen pizza.
Enter Larry Bilotta’s Male Maturity Scale, he sent it to me after discovering my blog through the post, “Should I Leave My Husband?”. Usually reserved for married women trying to find out what makes their husband’s tick, Larry realized how useful this scale can be for dating single moms. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on May 29, 2008
Thomas, aka “the Dane”, started reading this blog long before his visit. And this morning, I found this in my inbox - a guest blog entry from Thomas on his experience with Benjamin and I.
For the men, this is the perfect addition to my series on How to Date a Single Mom. And for the single moms, here is proof that not all men run away screaming at the idea of dating a single mom (why? because we rock and so do our kids).
Here’s Thomas’ version of our long weekend:
Stepping out of the car in front of the house Benjamin came running towards me, “Daddy!, Daddy!”
Ed note: Benjamin calls every man “Daddy”
You can probably imagine my surprise. Being called “Daddy” by a boy you haven’t seen before – sounds actually like a nightmare. But it took a lot of pressure off of my shoulders. I didn’t have to worry about whether Benjamin would like me or not – a major concern of mine before coming. Instead I dropped my bags and started playing with him. This was followed by the warm welcome by Alaina whom I hadn’t seen in seven years. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on May 22, 2008
I would like to introduce you to a phone.
That thing with numbers. You push them. Then you talk to the person on the other end, and if it’s a girl you’re asking out for the very first time you make the call at a reasonable hour - ask her questions about herself, yada, yada - find a mutual meeting spot and set a date. You DO NOT SEND A TEXT MESSAGE.
If I were 15, it might be okay. But I’m 29! And I want to date a man, not a boy.
Remember the guy who kept texting me? I was so annoyed I texted him to call me the next time. Five days later, not phone call and then - another text. At this point the Dane had landed and the guy didn’t have shot in hell, but this is still funny.
Here’s how it ended.
Five days later … another text!
His Text: What are you doing this weekend?
My Text: Going to Athens.
His Text: Ha! See ya there.
My Text: Which festival are you going to?
No response.
And then late that night, while I’m falling asleep… my phone rings. It’s him! What??? I send it to voice mail. Then it rings again! And he leaves another voice mail. Two voice mails. The next morning I listen to them. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on May 14, 2008
Once upon a time, I was in love with my son’s father.
At the beginning, he would make me breakfast every morning. He would hold me tight and whisper sweet nothings into my ear. We couldn’t get enough of each other. The sexy french accent didn’t help either. And when he told me it was “Magic” I believed him. I still believe that. It was magic because we were supposed to make Benjamin.
My little prince charming.
Today, for the first time ever, he told me that he loves me.
“I uuvvv ooooh.”
I uv oooh too, Benjamin.
And if I could do it again. If I had to do it all over again, I would. Because you are my everything. And your toes are pretty damn cute too.
When you’ve already got one prince, can you make room for two? Did you ever believe in a Prince Charming? I know I did. I think I still do. Damn you Disney.
