by mssinglemama on July 13, 2009
Within just a few weeks of dating, John Bear had bought Benjamin a Transformer, saying “I couldn’t help it. I hope it’s okay. I just can’t believe he doesn’t have one.”
And why would he? I’m a chick, in case you hadn’t noticed, and now that Benjamin is becoming a boy I’m realizing I don’t have a clue about boy stuff. Benjamin’s father is of the French Canadian stock and I don’t know what’s up with our northern brothers in Quebec but aside from the Smurfs, I’m not sure we watched the same cartoons. In fact, I’m not sure his dad watched any cartoons or even had any mainstream toys at all but that had nothing to do with his Quebecness and almost everything to do with his mother who kept her kids from such things.
Nervous Benjamin’s head would explode at actually receiving a gift from a man, I made John Bear keep the new Transformer and its accompanying DVD hidden in his car for another few weeks. I would move the little gift bag into the back seat on date night, leaving it there and wondering just what to do with the thing. The only solution would be to just give it to him and find out. Sometimes this parenting thing is a big ball of trial and error, the only thing you can hope for is that the errors don’t permanently mess up your kid and that, as John Bear’s father says that “they come to your funeral.”
After I thought Benjamin could handle the spoilage and not associate John Bear forever more with cool robots I let John give him the present. When he opened it Benjamin squealed and then laughed hysterically when the thing transformed into a robot and he has yet to let the car out of his sight.
It goes everywhere with him. He’s learned how to do everything one handed to account for the car in the other hand and I have to transform him two or three times a day. Benjamin’s Transformer collection doubled last weekend when John Bear (who Benjamin now believes is the master of the robot universe) pulled these guys out of his mother’s basement. Two new freaky little robot guys to bring home.
Our new roommates, now I think there are six or so, have crushed Thomas the Tank and even Elmo. Even Woody and Buzz Lightyear haven’t moved. And I’ve become all too aware of the fact that apparently I’m not the only one who has been lacking a man’s attention and affection.
We had just woken up when I took that picture, so to be fair to John here’s a picture he took of me drinking out of a doggy mug. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on June 24, 2009
“We’d have some good lookin’ kids,” he says, “cute little dark haired Irish kids with blue eyes.”
Yes, we would. I’m sure of it and I can see their little faces smiling at me already. They’re definitely cute as hell.
I also have this vision of John Bear, by then fully trained in the ways of kitchen duty, juggling a baby and a spatula, flipping eggs and yelling at the dog - all at the same time.
A studly dad in the kitchen. These are the daydreams of a single mother.
“And if we do ever have kids you’ll probably have twins,” he lays this out like it’s a perk or something.
“You’re kidding, right?” [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on June 10, 2009
to know about being a dating single mom.
A few days ago, I spent hours sorting through my archives to produce a lovely table of contents to this blog. It’s funny to put your own life into categories, but I think you’ll enjoy them.
Like Chapter 11 - “The Ex Files: the Men I’ve Dated Along the Way.”
Funny.
Along the way to what?
To meeting him.
The Bear. My John Bear.
I know it’s early. Only six weeks in. But when someone says, “I’ve been waiting 30 years to meet you,” and then looks into your eyes and tells you how amazing you are and you look right back at him and feel the same way - one can’t help but wonder - could this be it? [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on June 7, 2009
On Saturday morning John Bear (he now has a first name) and I headed up north to Cleveland for his cousin’s wedding. Between meeting his entire family and the ceremony we took a drive and made a few pit stops along the way.
The first to snap a shot of this
and the second to pick up a wedding card at this place, with a giant robot outside
and tons of memories inside.
Big Fun. Check the place out if you’re ever in Cleveland.
I could have spent the entire day in there, staring at those toys and remembering what it was like to be that young, that innocent. But when I look into his eyes I do feel completely young again, new almost. Like I’m starting over on a clean white sandy beach with not a soul in sight but his and Benjamin’s.
There’s a peace in finding this kind of a connection - a peace I may have lost hope of ever finding. But now it’s here and the only thing we can do is enjoy every moment.
After wishing we were 8 again, we headed to the reception pre-party at John Bear’s uncle Mark’s. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on June 4, 2009
A few weeks ago the Bear and I were on a date.
I still can’t believe how much he spoils me. Dates galore, dinners, drinks, whatever I want and it’s lovely. We were talking about something or another in regards to this site and some issue I’ve been having and then he said, “Let me check out the code.”
The code, meaning the actual code or HTML or gobbly gook that runs everything.
My heart skipped a beat, my pulse raced and I actually blushed. And then I realized that talking code makes me hot. Yes, it’s come to that.
So what happens when you take two dorky web geeks and put them in a suit shop?
One wanders around a bit lost while the other grabs her camera to document the pure hilarity of the situation.
[click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on June 1, 2009
Larry is in his seventies but his eyes are young.
He had a major hand in creating the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway, a thriving tourist destination for Athens County and his energy seems to be endless. He’ll never acknowledge his age with words or by his actions and I find this amazing and inspiring.
We’ve just wrapped up a meeting and now we’re saying our good byes in the doorway to the Athens County Visitors Bureau. The Bureau is my refuge and my savior. My home town, I feel, is cradling me - rocking me back to health and in turn I am enlightening thousands of tourists to pay us a visit.
Larry is lingering.
“So have you found a nice guy yet?” he asks.
Every time I meet a WWII vet like Larry I immediately conjure up images of men like Gregory Peck and Spencer Tracy on battle lines or at fancy dinner tables puffing on cigarettes, he is no exception.
“No, not yet. There aren’t any around or something, or maybe I just don’t know where to look or maybe I’m not ready,” my voice cracks a bit.
The tears have been coming easily lately.
It’s been nine months of single motherhood and I have yet to see a glimmer of hope, even though I’ve been dating not one man has shown promise of being something.
I want to hear words of wisdom from Larry, so I stop, look down at my shuffling feet and then I listen. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on May 28, 2009
by mssinglemama on May 27, 2009
A few weeks ago, or was it months? my ex offered, or did I ask? to take Benjamin two nights a week instead of one.
For several weeks he upheld his new commitment, enjoying every extra moment with his son until on week four he told me he was tired. I understood. It’s hard. This kid thing, this three-year-old thing.
But while adjusting to two nights a week with your son after three years of one is tough, adjusting to two nights of freedom, I found, is much easier.
I have been using the extra nights to catch up with long neglected friends and to make appointments for long neglected things, like my teeth.
Last night I got a text, “I will bring Benjamin back tomorrow, I have a meeting on Thursday.”
This morning another text comes, “I need to be done by 5:30. No later. I have my Wednesday night order to fill at work.”
“I have a dentist appointment but it should be done by then,” I tell him later on the phone.
The dentist’s office is remarkable.
They’ve squeezed me in on short notice knowing my insurance expires on Friday.
Just after the needles and just before the numbness creeps into my mouth I start chatting with the assistant. She tells me she was a single mom once too - for three years - and now she’s happily re-married. You can see it in her face - she is happy, completely content.
“It’s funny, isn’t it? How much easier it is to find a good man when you already have the child,” I tell her. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on May 23, 2009
Meet Murphy.
Or Murph, the slobbery yet totally cute wonder pup who can tackle me in one pounce.
He belongs to the Bear.
Meet Benjamin.
He belongs to me (for now). [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on May 19, 2009
Continued from the Beginning.
We picked a pizza and wine shop for our networking dinner. Or was it a date?
I wasn’t sure. Our e-mails had been borderline flirtatious all week and there was definitely some initial chemistry when we met. Those eyes of his…
We had originally planned on having lunch after meeting at my presentation but I decided, having so much in common professionally, that we would need more than an hour.
“How about dinner and drinks instead?” I e-mailed him.
“Sure, when and where?”
“There’s a pizza and wine shop just down the street from my place. Sound good?”
“Perfect I live just around the corner.”
We were neighbors. Awesome.
I ran straight from work directly to my “maybe it’s a date.” [click to continue…]
