by mssinglemama on September 29, 2009
I had an amazing day yesterday… not because I am all in love and stuff (although that made it nice too) but because I got to see two of my best single and childless girlfriends. And now I’m wondering what or who I would be without them in my life.
First, there’s Alison…
(who is going to fricking kill me for publishing this picture of her chewing and half smiling).
Long before John Bear came along Alison and I would spend hours upon hours relaying the horrors of our dating errors and ways. Since we’ve met she’s blossomed from accepting what she can get from men to expecting only the best and she’s become one of the strongest and most beautiful single women I know. But she still has that precious optimism of a young twenty something that I drink in while we’re together, pretending like I’m back there with her for a moment. Then she tells me to “shut up” because I’m “not that old.”
I met Alison for lunch yesterday and then, after hearing the scoop on the amazing new man she’s met we stopped into Anthropologie to try on hats and coats we couldn’t afford.
And because I know Alison is going to kill me for publishing these pictures I am going to publish this one of myself. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on September 10, 2009
I would never compare men to dogs. Never.
Nope.
It’s just not my style.
I love my men.
Before I found John Bear many of you called me a man-hater. But now I’m a walking talking dog and man loving machine. Yesterday, inspired by your adventure stories, we hopped in the car and went to the dog park. Being a dog virgin I had no idea what to expect.
There were a lot of dogs. A lot of dogs. Running and jumping and slobbering everywhere.
But to my surprise there were also a lot of men.
I couldn’t be sure about the dogs but the men, based on their ring fingers, all appeared to be single. And for the first time, in a really, really long time, I didn’t even think about dating a one of them. I’m so taken, it’s ridiculous. Instead I picked up the phone and called Mia, “You’ve got to get to the dog park – there are single men EVERY WHERE.” [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on August 13, 2009
When I meet a single and childless girl I feel an urge to sit her down and have a talk – like a grandmother would.
No, honey, not that one. I don’t care how cute he is or how much money he makes. No, that doesn’t matter. He may be whispering in your ear and promising to change. But he shouldn’t have to change, he should have already changed. Believe me, the last thing you want to worry about when you have kids is changing a man or persuading him to clean up his act or get that job.
The measure of a man, the kind of man you’ll want when you’re married and a mother, isn’t in the car he drives, the clothes he wears or even in the sweet nothings he whispers in your ear. The measure of the man you want is in the way he reacts when you’re both lost on a dark pine shrouded road in the middle of the night. In the way he gives you a back rub. Does he ask how it feels? Is he truly trying to take your pain away or giving up too quickly? At first he may not completely wipe away the knots but if he’s willing to listen and learn, eventually, he will. Actions speak louder than words and how he uses those words, how he listens – that is an action, called communicating.
But he has to be at least six feet tall. At least, she would insist, and blue eyes – those too.
At this point I would bite my tongue, walk away and hope against all hopes that she checks that list against logic and her heart of hearts – the mother in every girl wants a good man, one who would kill for you or, more realistically, love seeing your smile more than anything else on this Earth.
And he might look something like this guy…
Oh, you have no idea how badly I want to tell you about the last seven days of my life.
More on our grand adventure soon… I am not teasing you on purpose, I swear. I am just extremely busy trying to play catch up. Loading these pictures takes forever. Find another round of clues about where our adventure took us in the photo gallery.
P.S. I mailed the first round of silver necklaces out today. Only 20 of those left… they are gorgeous.
by mssinglemama on July 29, 2009
My Secrets are Out…
Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love is here. But first a few words from my delirious haze. I am hoping they make sense…
Before I started writing this blog the whispers in my head, the words of strength from outside of myself were hard to come by. I only knew one or two fellow single moms and living at my mother’s for one year did a number on my social life. I was alone, utterly alone and it was uncomfortable.
I tried to find inspiration in other single mom books and while they were insightful on many levels, all fell short for me. I craved real, honest advice about dating and love. I didn’t know it then but I would soon fill that void myself and also become a voice for single mothers everywhere by shouting from the my little mountaintop: we are beautiful, we are strong and we are sexy as hell. And while this shit ain’t easy we don’t need a man to rescue us, we need to rescue ourselves.
I am not sure where those words came from. They started, I believe, as whispers in my own head or more like echoes. And then you all showed up. Your words and your thoughts inspired me to keep writing, to keep sharing my stories and your words, in turn, became the whispers in my head. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on July 28, 2009
