by mssinglemama on September 18, 2008
I jumped into the online dating pool again last week. And wow is it busy out there…
As a single mom, finding the time to date is hard enough as it is, not even to mention actually findingthe men to date.
So, online dating is perfect for us. We get to curl up in our pajamas, grab a glass of wine and man shop. Yes, I said man shopping.
Sue me. I like my men and yes, I like to shop for men.
When it comes to man shopping, online dating is much easier than a night out at the bars, where your judgement is incredibly clouded by a drunken haze. And while man shopping does feel a bit odd – you can actually narrow your search down to eye color – it can still be romantic. It’s a new age and online dating is now 100% acceptable, if not the norm in some places, and for dating single parents it’s incredibly efficient.
If you’re on the fence, why not just see who’s out there? So far, I’m finding quite a few tasty prospects: a few doctors, a firefighter, a lawyer, and a musician! Before I tell you the ins and outs – the politics of online dating – here’s a starter course for the beginners, if you’re more experienced move right on:
Online Dating 101 (for beginners)
1. Sign up for free and then you can surf away.
You’ll have to set up a profile with your headline, your description, all of that junk. But don’t stress out. Just write whatever flows because you can go and edit it later. And if you’re on Match or Yahoo, you can set your profile to private so no one can see you. Pretty nifty, huh? So you can search and peak at all of the guys but they won’t know. And you can even set your profile to be non-searchable, meaning you won’t turn up in any public searches. This is a huge plus if you’re worried about privacy. And it means you are completely in control. A man only sees your profile if you contact him first.
Read more on creating the perfect online dating profile here.
2. Prepare yourself for the rejection.
When I first delved into online dating, on e-Harmony, I was surprised at how much the rejection stung. Just like in real life, you throw yourself out there and then you can get slammed down. But – this too shall pass. You’ll become numb to it and you’ll feel better when you flip around and reject someone else. It just goes with the territory. Everyone is on there for the same reason and the virtual divide allows complete honesty.
3. Watch out for profile red flags.
Just like real life red flags, online profiles have them too. One picture? Red flag. Either he doesn’t know how to use a computer (not good) or he is fooling you with the one good picture he has – that, by the way, was shot five years ago. You need multiple pictures. Other red flags… “I just got out of a relationship so I’m back on the market ladies!” Yikes. Stay away from those guys. Unless he’s exceptionally hot and you’re just looking for fun. My point is this – read profiles carefully and listen to your gut.
Now you’re ready for the big time… dating online.
After my disasterous dive into e-Harmony last year, I chose Plenty of Fish this time around. Honestly, because it’s free… and it’s now the top online dating site out there. So here’s the drill, or at least my drill, while swimming with the millions of online daters. (And I’m still a newbie so correct me if I’m wrong.)
1. Surf and throw the bait.
I love Match, Plenty of Fish and Yahoo Personals because you have the power to search profiles. e-Harmony’s “matching system” is a scam, trust me I’ve tried. So, on search dating sites like Match you can narrow your criteria and search for the guy of your dreams. You can even go so far as to narrow him down by eye and hair color. Or, my favorite feature, children! Narrow your search or expand your search. Have fun with it and above all, laugh at yourself – think about it – you are man shopping! It’s funny.
2. The first contact.
You spot a catch. So what’s your first move? An e-mail. Keep it short and sweet. Say something like, “I noticed your profile, check out mine and if you’re interested let me know.” [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on May 1, 2008
I did it.
Just deleted several ex-boyfriends from my Facebook and MySpace pages. Felt wonderful! I highly recommend it. Now I can’t see them … and they can’t see me. There are a few reasons for this sudden decision, but to spare anyone’s feelings I won’t write about them.
All I can say is that … there are some guys who are earning the purple octopus label. There are others, who are fighting a valiant fight, defying the odds and making me scratch my head wondering when their purple octopus eyes will pop out.
There is hope.
In the meantime – WATCH THIS!!! A video on what Facebook or MySpace chatter would be like in real life. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on April 28, 2008
Here are some personals ads I found on Craigslist tonight. Went here on purpose knowing I would find gold! These are aboslutely, 100% authentic. My notes are in italics. Enjoy.
Breakfast in Bed? (Yuck!!! – I don’t want to see ANYONE at 5:00am, let alone a stranger.)
Consider getting to know me over breakfast in bed? I know this sounds completely out of the ordinary and you probably are thinking “OK I know where this is going”, but hold on. Seriously, breakfast in bed with a stranger. We set the boundaries, determine the proper attire for our breakfast in bed date and then order the food. I love the early morning hours so would like to do this between 5:00 and 7:00 am (I suppose I have just lost most of you). I want to sit side by side, pillow behind our backs, trays on our laps, fresh brewed coffee aroma swirling through the air, toast and jelly, perhaps eggs and bacon, OJ and some giggly laughter. After breakfast we get up and head off to meet the day.
Are you adventourous enough to join me?
Ugly, but Got Money!!! (Seriously? Has to be a joke. Either way it’s hysterical.)
Just to let you know, Single WM with a good job, house and things like that. There is only one big, really big problem - I am sooooo ugly, people i know tell me that I am pretty, then add laughing, pretty ugly. What am I to do with all this money I have but no one to spend it on? Guess it just a problem, but a good problem, to have if you are really, really ugly and have lots of money!
Walk and a Movie? (This guy has never slept with a human.)
I’m looking for someone interested in going for a walk today and catching a movie. Nothing serious, but just an attempt at human interaction. I would prefer someone with nice manners, who is witty, semi-dorky and enjoys conversation.
Perhaps we could even see a movie. If you’re interested send me a photo so I may verify that you’re a real person (this city is full of spambots and weirdos) and I will do so in return.
Assignment: go to your area’s Craigslist personals section and post some funny ones in the comment field … or just tell me about your online dating adventures or mis-adventures. And if you wrote these, read my tips on writing an online personal ad.
Want more? Can’t take credit, but this is hilarious – Top 10 Most Bizarre (but REAL!) Personals Ads.
P.S. Speaking of online dating, here’s my review of e-Harmony, the biggest crock out there … (sorry but I’m still mad at them for not giving me a refund.)
by mssinglemama on April 18, 2008
In lieu of yesterday’s sarcastic and totally fake personals ad that some took seriously, I want to pass on some tips on the right way to write a personals ad for dating online.
Online Dating Profile Tips
1. Be honest with yourself. What are deal breakers? What must you have and what would you like to have? Try to express these and then you’ll be on a roll.
2. Be funny. (If you can) Don’t take yourself too seriously, but at the same time don’t go over the top with lame jokes.
3. Don’t post a picture of yourself with your shirt off. Please…oh, and drop the pics of you and your best friend Suzy snuggling up in a restraurant booth together.
4. Don’t brag about your amazing book collection and please don’t tell me how much you love to have candlelit dinners and slow walks on the beach.
5. Pick an appealing username. Don’t kill yourself with a play on words…try a play on something like your street name or your dog’s name. Be mysterious. Please, whatever you do don’t pick anything like “BigJohnForYou.”
6. BE REAL.
FYI: I refuse to do online dating again after my past experiences with eHarmony. And after all it’s Spring – there are men every where in the flesh. The coffee shop, the book store, the park …
Here’s my list on the Top Spots for Single Mamas to Meet Men. Thought it deserved another look now that spring has sprung.
What are your profile writing tips? I am definitely not an expert…I am an expert browser. So I am an authority in telling guys what not to post, as most of us women are … but guys – what do you see on the other side in profiles that turns you off?
by mssinglemama on April 8, 2008
Yes..it’s really cool. I am SO incredibly excited about this and can’t believe I stumbled across it.
Check out “I Heart Single Parents.com”, a brand new social network for single parents. Join and you can make your own page, much like MySpace and Facebook but the members are all single parents. Once you join search for Alaina and add me as a friend!
I’m pumped! Not like I needed another social network or anything online to be addicted to – but hey, never seen so many hip single parents in one spot. Very nice indeed.
Here’s a video by the creators – two single moms!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXja4sIuKFs]
