From the category archives:

Breaking up

On healing a broken heart.

December 11, 2011

The auditorium is full. We have all been called here for a special event, an hour assembly featuring a guest speaker. A woman walked onto the stage with a man. The two were here to tell us about sex, or I should say – to tell us why we shouldn’t have sex. After the man [...]

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The end (again)

June 15, 2011

Trust must come before love and love can’t survive without trust. I felt absolutely certain I could love him again. I tried to forget. I felt that I could conquer the past. But I couldn’t. And something was missing. The trust? The original love we had? I wasn’t sure, but being so unsure, standing on [...]

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A line of b.s.

February 28, 2011

I have a confession. When I am single. (And sometimes when I’m in a relationship). I check the Craigslist Personals. I’m not sure why. I have never, ever found a listing that even remotely appeals to me. And yet, I go back. I think it’s because the Craigslist Personals terrify me and totally crack me [...]

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Free time.

February 23, 2011

My mother kidnapped Benjamin on Monday. There’s no telling when she will bring him back. When it started snowing at her house, which is on the most beautiful piece of land in Athens County, Benjamin said, “That’s it. I think I have to stay here forever.” It is always sporadic and unplanned, his mini-vacations to [...]

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The best rebound I’ve ever had.

February 19, 2011

I have found myself – in the past two months -  back to 100% single motherhood. In addition to the absence of John Bear, Benjamin is no longer spending one weekend a month at his father’s. I can’t get into details but can say that the decision (mine) was definitely as a last resort and [...]

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A new room.

February 3, 2011

Just days after he left, I completely re-arranged my room. I had to. It’s a thing I have. Visibly wiping away the evidence, the memories. This is the result. My Mom found the lamp at a thrift store, along with the poster. We’re not finished yet. I still have some stencils from West Elm waiting [...]

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Your domain

January 31, 2011

The house is just ours now. So, we’ve had to fill some missing holes. While I have been just trying to make it through each day without dropping a ball, my mother has been around. She’s been helping me to transition the house to just Benjamin and I’s. So, armed with my debit card, I [...]

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Keeping busy.

January 27, 2011

Busy is good when your life has changed so dramatically. I feel numb now. The shock has worn off and Benjamin and I are trucking along like we were before John came into our lives. I have found that taking out the trash alone, warming up the car in the morning and even sleeping in [...]

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A Man Moratorium

January 13, 2011

Something odd is happening. This break up is like none I have ever experienced before. I am sad. Sure. But I’m not broken. In the past I felt ripped apart, wide open and I wanted to fill it–as quickly as possible–with someone or something else. But not this time. And here’s the really weird part, [...]

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A very good question.

January 10, 2011

Had to pull out this fantastic comment from Sara to my last post. “Does it bother you that John is probably reading all this right now? That’s the first thing I thought of when I read your post about the break up. Do you sometimes find yourself writing things in these past few posts for [...]

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