Texting while Dating: A Cautionary Tale

by Molly Undercover on May 24, 2017

A great resource for any of you considering a divorce
A great resource for any of you considering a divorce
My single mom friend and blogger, information pills Emma Johnson, drug is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, approved she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina
A great resource for any of you considering a divorce
My single mom friend and blogger, information pills Emma Johnson, drug is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, approved she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina
My single mom friend and blogger, medical Emma Johnson, sickness is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, viagra 40mg she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina
A great resource for any of you considering a divorce
My single mom friend and blogger, information pills Emma Johnson, drug is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, approved she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina
My single mom friend and blogger, medical Emma Johnson, sickness is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, viagra 40mg she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, unhealthy Brené Brown says, order “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Undercover
A great resource for any of you considering a divorce
My single mom friend and blogger, information pills Emma Johnson, drug is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, approved she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina
My single mom friend and blogger, medical Emma Johnson, sickness is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, viagra 40mg she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, unhealthy Brené Brown says, order “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Undercover
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, sick version 2. A couple of years ago, ampoule I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.

XO,

Molly Undercover
A great resource for any of you considering a divorce
My single mom friend and blogger, information pills Emma Johnson, drug is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, approved she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina
My single mom friend and blogger, medical Emma Johnson, sickness is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, viagra 40mg she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, unhealthy Brené Brown says, order “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Undercover
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, sick version 2. A couple of years ago, ampoule I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.

XO,

Molly Undercover
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, help version 2. A couple of years ago, I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.
A great resource for any of you considering a divorce
My single mom friend and blogger, information pills Emma Johnson, drug is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, approved she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina
My single mom friend and blogger, medical Emma Johnson, sickness is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, viagra 40mg she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, unhealthy Brené Brown says, order “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Undercover
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, sick version 2. A couple of years ago, ampoule I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.

XO,

Molly Undercover
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, help version 2. A couple of years ago, I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.
I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, sick but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, cialis 40mg but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite to a bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his 12th birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
A great resource for any of you considering a divorce
My single mom friend and blogger, information pills Emma Johnson, drug is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, approved she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina
My single mom friend and blogger, medical Emma Johnson, sickness is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, viagra 40mg she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, unhealthy Brené Brown says, order “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Undercover
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, sick version 2. A couple of years ago, ampoule I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.

XO,

Molly Undercover
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, help version 2. A couple of years ago, I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.
I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, sick but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, cialis 40mg but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite to a bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his 12th birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, salve but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his Twelfth birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
A great resource for any of you considering a divorce
My single mom friend and blogger, information pills Emma Johnson, drug is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, approved she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina
My single mom friend and blogger, medical Emma Johnson, sickness is such an inspiration.

I met her years ago at the 2012 BlogHer conference. At the time, viagra 40mg she was just about to begin her own blog on being a single mother. Flash forward to today and she has tens of thousands of readers and is still a thriving, happy and successful single mother.

And recently she interviewed me for her awesome podcast, Like a Mother.

Listen here.

We spend about an hour talking about some of the hottest single mom topics: dating with children, moving past your ex-husband, finding happiness through acceptance.

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo,

Alaina

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, unhealthy Brené Brown says, order “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Undercover
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, sick version 2. A couple of years ago, ampoule I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.

XO,

Molly Undercover
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, help version 2. A couple of years ago, I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.
I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, sick but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, cialis 40mg but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite to a bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his 12th birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, salve but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his Twelfth birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, about it since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.

Love,

Molly Undercover
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, thumb abortion since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with cat guy, and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness a little bit longer. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, thumb abortion since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with cat guy, and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness a little bit longer. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, this Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up my son. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Undercover
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, thumb abortion since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with cat guy, and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness a little bit longer. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, this Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up my son. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Undercover
In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, viagra Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d ever be in a state to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, thumb abortion since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with cat guy, and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness a little bit longer. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, this Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up my son. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Undercover
In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, viagra Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d ever be in a state to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, view but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, medicine but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, side effects and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite to a bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his 12th birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, thumb abortion since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with cat guy, and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness a little bit longer. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, this Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up my son. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Undercover
In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, viagra Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d ever be in a state to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, view but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, medicine but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, side effects and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite to a bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his 12th birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, ampoule but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, approved but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite to a bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his 12th birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, thumb abortion since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with cat guy, and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness a little bit longer. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, this Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up my son. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Undercover
In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, viagra Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d ever be in a state to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, view but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, medicine but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, side effects and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite to a bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his 12th birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, ampoule but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, approved but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite to a bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his 12th birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
To date post divorce

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, information pills Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, thumb abortion since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with cat guy, and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness a little bit longer. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, this Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up my son. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Undercover
In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, viagra Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d ever be in a state to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, view but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, medicine but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, side effects and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite to a bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his 12th birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, ampoule but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, approved but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite to a bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his 12th birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
To date post divorce

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, information pills Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, for sale Brené Brown says, approved “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Superspy
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, thumb abortion since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with cat guy, and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness a little bit longer. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, this Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up my son. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Undercover
In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, viagra Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d ever be in a state to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, view but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, medicine but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, side effects and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite to a bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his 12th birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, ampoule but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, approved but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite to a bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his 12th birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
To date post divorce

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, information pills Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, for sale Brené Brown says, approved “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Superspy
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, sickness since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness a little bit longer. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, thumb abortion since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with cat guy, and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness a little bit longer. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, this Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up my son. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Undercover
In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, viagra Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d ever be in a state to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, view but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, medicine but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, side effects and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite to a bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his 12th birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
I’m navigating Tim’s birthday as a single parent for the first time. I just had such a hot mess of a phone call with his Dad about it. Background: we’re cooperative, ampoule but keep the communication to a bare minimum. I’m trying to be cool and functional and reasonable, approved but inside I’m still dealing with some strong feelings about him, and I know it shows in my voice and my decisions.

Here’s what happened: I emailed an invite to a bunch of parents about a fun party night for Tim for his 12th birthday. I’m always so last minute about these things! Right after I pressed send, I panicked; should I have consulted with my ex before unilaterally planning? Would he be angry and retaliate? Would  be hurt if his dad wasn’t there for his party like he always has been in the past? On the other hand, I’ve always handled this kind of planning, and I don’t want to interact with the ex any more than I have to. Ugh! Minefield! Without resolving my decisions for myself, I hastily decided to just call his dad and fill him in.

My voice on the phone was fake polite, anxious, and over-compensating, with an edge of passive aggressive anger. In short, loaded down with baggage. I filled in the ex about the plan I’d made, and asked what he’d been hoping to do with Tim for a birthday celebration. He asked if he could take Tim for a birthday dinner on his actual birthday. Thinking that Tim might be sad if both parents weren’t there, I countered that maybe we should do it all together and invite some other relatives. Immediately I felt myself recoil from my own suggestion. I didn’t feel up to hanging out with my ex and his whole family! I stammered something about not being sure that was the best plan and ‘let’s work it out later’ and got off the phone. What a mess! Clearly I’m in no state to have a fun birthday dinner as a reconfigured family. (Happy birthday, son! Let me turn into an emotional mess all over your birthday dinner, isn’t this fun?) What was I thinking??

Here’s what I wasn’t being honest about: I’m assuming Tim’s going to be heartbroken to have only one parent there at a time. I’m trying to keep him from experiencing any more loss and pain than he already has. But if that hurts me, maybe it’s worse for him in the end? I think these are the questions we consider over and over in the process of becoming single parents, from the decision to separate or not to the way we navigate custody and holidays.

How do you keep birthdays and holidays fun and joyful, and how to deal gracefully with your child’s other parent?
To date post divorce

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, information pills Brené Brown says, “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

To date post divorce you just have to dive in.

In her famous Ted talk on vulnerability, for sale Brené Brown says, approved “vulnerability is. . . the first date after a divorce” I couldn’t agree more. I was terrified before my first date! Three months after my husband and I separated, I wasn’t looking for someone to date yet. I felt repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship again and hopeless that I’d never be able to connect with a man again. But I was also worried that if I passed up dates, I’d calcify and never get back in the game. I did miss romance, for sure. When someone cute but not ‘my type’ asked me out, my fear of becoming a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start dating pushed me to just try it and see what happened.

And then the first post-divorce date finally happened…

Over text messages, I awkwardly informed him that he was a true rebound, meaning: I was just looking for fun and flirtation. He reassured me that we were just going to have fun together, no matter what. Putting me at ease, he stated that he’d probably be a nervous dork and super awkward at first when we met because he thought I was gorgeous! This brought on a little ease and excitement. I arranged for my son to go home with a friend so that I could meet him for a patio happy hour one afternoon.

We met on a lovely spring day at a fun neighborhood bar. I was still nervous that he might expect something I didn’t have to give at the time, like a relationship, or even sex. I just wanted to flirt. I was excited too–to show up and trying something new.

We were the only people there, which amped up the awkward feeling. But contrary to his warning, my date was actually laid back and fun, totally confident, and looked and smelled great. He put me at complete ease.

As we played giant Jenga on the patio, his confidence and masculine presence infused me with my own confidence. He was starting to get a little handsy. Brushing my wrists and finding other ways to make contact as we goofed around and talked. He was making me laugh and dammit, this was fun! At one point he leaned in for a kiss. Nervous and feeling vulnerable, I did the old ‘cheek turn’ trick and let him plant one there. It felt great, so I changed my mind, and we kissed for a little bit. I was kissing a man! I had almost forgotten how fun it felt to kiss.

We enjoyed each other’s company for a little while, then I had to go and pick up [Thegn]. I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon. If you’re like I was and a little scared to try out dating, know that it can be fun!

Based on what worked well for me about this, here’s my advice for the first date after becoming a single mom:

  • Be clear with him upfront if you’re on the rebound!
  • Obviously but worth stating: have your own way there and home and let someone know where you’ll be.
  • If you’ve been in a relationship for a while: don’t turn someone down because they are not ‘your type’. Someone very different might be just the thing!
  • Plan to keep it short. Happy hour or coffee when you’ll have to pick up your child is one idea. Your time is so precious as a single mom and realistically, you may not see this person again.
  • Just be yourself.
  • Be easy on yourself. You don’t have to meet prince charming on your first time out after marriage and parenting.
  • Remind yourself to be open and not compare your date to your old relationship. They are two totally different situations for many, many reasons.

xoxo,

Ms. Single Mama II , aka Molly Superspy
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, sickness since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness a little bit longer. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, prescription since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, viagra buy and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, capsule because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness a little bit longer. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, information pills and version 2. A couple of years ago, cialis 40mg I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, order I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.

XO,

Molly Undercover
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, information pills and version 2. A couple of years ago, cialis 40mg I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, order I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.

XO,

Molly Undercover
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, pills since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, website like this and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, this because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, information pills and version 2. A couple of years ago, cialis 40mg I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, order I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.

XO,

Molly Undercover
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, pills since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, website like this and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, this because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, pilule since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, pills and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, shop because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, information pills and version 2. A couple of years ago, cialis 40mg I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, order I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.

XO,

Molly Undercover
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, pills since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, website like this and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, this because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, pilule since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, pills and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, shop because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, medicine since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, buy information pills and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.

In solidarity,

Molly Undercover
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, information pills and version 2. A couple of years ago, cialis 40mg I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, order I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.

XO,

Molly Undercover
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, pills since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, website like this and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, this because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, pilule since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, pills and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, shop because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, medicine since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, buy information pills and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.

In solidarity,

Molly Undercover
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, more about since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.

Love,

Molly Undercover
Hi! I’m Ms. Single Mama, information pills and version 2. A couple of years ago, cialis 40mg I came across Ms. Single Mama and her blog. It was exactly one day after my (then) husband first told me he wanted to move out of our house. On the day I found Ms. Single Mama, order I was sad, excited, and most of all, TOTALLY out of touch with the reality of the situation. For example, I had no idea 1) how hard it was going to be to go through the ending our 14-year marriage, and 2) how much better off, stronger, and happier I’d be once I became single. As I got to know Ms. Single Mama and got deeper into singledom myself, I’ve had plenty of time to study her ways and gone through some hilarious/awful/awesome single mama experiences that I’m dying to share with you and hear from you about.

A few more details about me: I got married young after minimal dating experience. In my youthful wisdom, I figured, what the hell? We love each other, what can go wrong? Ha, ha. It took us a year from that first time my ex revealed he wanted to leave to truly and mutually recognize our relationship was done. We have a twelve-year-old son Tim (I’ve changed his name, and I’ll be changing other names throughout my posts, for privacy). I’ve been separated from my ex for over a year. I’ve have only recently filed the divorce papers. I’m a badass, and this is hard, and I’m a hot mess sometimes! I’m not an expert; I just happen to be willing to reveal the whole experience to you hear, and eager to read your thoughts.

Moving forward, this blog is going to touch on many of the same topics it always has, but in my own voice. I’m in the middle of grieving, legally ending the marriage, getting to know myself, learning to parent single and to co-parent with Tim’s dad, and, of course, starting to date! And I want to talk with you about all of it.

XO,

Molly Undercover
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, pills since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, website like this and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, this because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, pilule since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, pills and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, shop because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, medicine since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, buy information pills and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.

In solidarity,

Molly Undercover
Sitting in an arcade for Tim’s birthday party with a bunch of twelve year olds. This is pretty much the last place I want to be right now, more about since I just had a little bit of a break up conversation with Cat Guy, and now I need to be fun and cheerful. It can hardly be called a break up, because he’s only been around for three weeks. But he had already expressed so much interest in being around longer. I had started to fall for him a little.

“I need to recalibrate,” I told him as he looked at me with his deep eyes. “I’m struggling. I’m working on divorce paperwork and feeling heartbreak, and I don’t think the state I’m in is any kind of foundation for a relationship.”

Cat Guy took this news well, like a real grown man. Just kept looking into my eyes with his deep brown ones. Then he put his head on my shoulder and cursed softly.

Ugh! Why does this have to feel so hard? Cat guy wasn’t my boyfriend yet, but he is the first person to come even close to being a boyfriend, and he would be a ‘good’ one, at least on paper. He plans ahead to hang out, but he’s open to spontaneous fun, too. He has no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but he has shown nothing but enthusiasm to meet Tim. I get the feeling that he would do all that he can to integrate into our lives and seems attracted to me and Tim as a package. These are all things that are important to me if I ever get into a relationship again. Not only that, but he’s attractive. It SUCKS to be passing up on a relationship with this guy. But my gut says I’m just not ready, and that I need to protect my singleness fiercely. Listening to my gut again is one of my single mama superpowers, and I can’t abandon it no matter how much I want a boyfriend.

So, here I am, handling a sleepover party alone. I forgot orange juice and bacon for the morning. If I had a man around, we could divide forces; he could play with the kids while I run to the store. It’s little things like this, not to mention the desire for love and companionship, that make me want a man around, at least sometimes.

Runs to the store and companionship aren’t enough to lure me into a relationship right this moment. Like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria!” And, I’ve got friends and neighbors who will pick stuff up from the store for me. I will soldier on, single, and keep going in this growth process a little longer, without cat guy.

Love,

Molly Undercover

Some typos can’t be deleted.

Introducing Wild Animal Man. I’ll explain plenty more about him in future posts. All you need to know for the purpose of this tale is, treat we first met when we randomly ran into each other twice in two weeks, adiposity and then we had one great date. Also, page his name might seem like an insult, but I mean it in the very best of ways! He’s wild and lovely. More on that later.

On one fateful Friday, I knew I wanted to see Wild Animal Man again, so I texted to ask him for just that.

Me: how’s it going?
Wild Man: Pretty good, Molly.
Me: I’d like to see you again. Can we make that happen?
Wild Man: Soon! I’ve just been so busy working this week. . . I need to get some free time soon so we can hang out!

There were some emojis, an illustrated laundry list of his work, and some flirty words included. So far so good, right? But unfortunately, this was one of those annoying texting situations where it was hard to tell what the real meaning was. Had he really been working hard, or was that just an excuse? Was this an awesome message? Or a terrible one?

As one does in these situations, I enlisted a trusted friend.

(Oh the joy of having wise women around you to interpret the cryptic man-text!)

MSM: Hey! What’s going on with Wild Man?
Me: I’m texting with him right now! I don’t even know if he likes me.
MSM: Send the text! I’ll analyze.

I rapidly took a screen grab of my exchange with him, and promptly sent the picture to. . .

You guessed it. . .

Wild Animal Man.

“No. no no no No NO!!!! HOW do I undo this???” I thought in a panic as the ‘sending’ bar traveled relentlessly across the screen. In a ridiculous attempt at damage control, I texted him again, playing dumb:

Me: Oh! that’s how a screenshot works on the iPhone!

***LONG PAUSE***

Wild Man: Thanks for the admiration ;-)

So. Embarrassing. Since the above incident, I’ve attempted to retain some tiny shred of my dignity by not mentioning this to Wild Animal Man ever, EVER again. I’m guessing from his response at the end there that he figured out exactly what happened, and my little attempt at cleanup only made it worse, a la Bridget Jones. Gah!

My critical errors: 1) not picking up the phone and just calling him. Remember phone calls? 2)These two conversations, the one with Ms. Single Mama and the one with Wild Animal Man, were basically simultaneous. 3)Moving too fast.

Want to minimize damage potential when texting with a date? Here’s some advice:

  • Keep texts brief, for in-the-moment facts, not feelings.
  • Call him on the phone. Or, even better, hang out in person!
  • Avoid texting more than one person at a time and avoid texting too fast. It only takes one slip of a finger to make a big mess!
  • Consider NOT broadcasting his messages to others in the first place! And, men, fair warning: We do share from time to time.
  • Your children may know how to get into your phone. If that’s likely in your case, keep it Disney!

On the positive side, my little gaff may have accidentally shown a little of the truth, which is that I think this guy’s the bee’s knees! And, it didn’t seem to bother him too much, because he has turned up a few times since then. Hey, somebody’s gotta get egg on their face and show they like the other person at some point, right? Might as well be now.

It’s never been easier to find and communicate with the objects of our admiration–and to make dumb mistakes at a rapid pace, too! Do you have a super embarrassing digital-age blooper under your dating belt? Make me feel better! Leave it in the comments.

With Love,

Molly Undercover

Related posts:

  1. A fairy tale ending?
  2. The muddy single mom, a fairy tale.
  3. The dating front
  4. Dating Single Parents: Can it Work?
  5. Single Mom Dating Tips, Part 2

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