The fearless

by mssinglemama on September 29, 2011

Benjamin and his bud Bert jump out of the car. We’ve pulled up to the most exciting place on Earth.

The Eagle Creek Leadership and Challenge Center to you and I, but to Benjamin and Bertie this is where Thomas and Calvin’s grandpa lives. Thomas and Calvin are quite possibly the cutest brothers you’ll ever lay your eyes on.

And when they talk it’s even better. Smart as whips. Sweet as sugar. And the woman largely responsible for their adorable little selves is one of my best single mama friends.

Elizabeth makes this shit look easy. And she hates, hates, hates having her picture taken. Justifiably so because pictures don’t truly capture her spirit or beauty– I doubt any camera could.

Calvin and Thomas’ grandfather, Tom, prefers the nickname O.G. (stands for Old Guy). Far from an old guy, O.G. has more energy at 62 than most twenty-something men I know.

That’s Bert on the donkey. Bert’s mother makes upcycled children’s clothing by hand. You won’t believe how beautiful her pieces are and you’ll want to buy ever one of them. Back to the farm…

We start with the bunnies.

After the bunnies O.G. leads the boys into the barn where he teaches them how to properly leap from a pile of hay bales.

I find myself wishing I was a boy. Or at least a little kid again. The action drew a crowd.

After the hay, O.G. and the boys take off to the next destination. The electric cars

and motorcyle

While the boys are driving around, O.G. is busy planning the next activity. This one requires a ladder, some rope

and putting Thomas in a harness.

And then O.G. swings Thomas, around and around.

Benjamin is next.

You’d think O.G. would be running out of energy by now. But nope, next we head to the platform that leads to nowhere.

O.G. has team and leadership training sessions out here for corporations. He mentions this is how they end the day –conquering the fear of walking off a plank. The challenge? Strap yourself in and then walk off the platform to no where. You end up swinging back and forth but that initial drop feels is probably what gets you, the moment when gravity takes over.

Calvin is first. He has absolutely no hesitation. Suits up and walks off the edge. Little Thomas follows his big brother. Benjamin isn’t so quick to decide. He’s hesitating and I can completely understand why. I’m petrified just watching. But after some coaxing from O.G.

Benjamin puts one foot in front of the other

And then he jumps, swinging back and forth until the nice man at the bottom caught him.

The boys wind down with a run of O.G.’s obstacle course and then we head home.

The day has me thinking about fear and how completely freeing it is to be fearless. I mean really, what is the difference between a five year old and yourself? The experience, the hurt, the pain you’ve lived through. Imagine if you could eliminate that baggage? Could you learn to love again? Can we ever really fall in love again? Like we did before becoming single moms? I think we can.

We just have to step off that plank and trust that the rope will break our fall.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Tania September 30, 2011 at 8:23 am

I think I’m much more cautious when it comes to love now. It will be awhile before I begin to date again but when I do I think since I was so hurt before it might effect how I learn to love again.


Jen September 30, 2011 at 5:57 pm

We have a zip-lining/rope climbing place here. I organized a group of friends and we went for 3 hours. The giant swing WAS the biggest challenge for me. It was actually an exercise in turning off my brain and taking action…(allowing myself to fall off the platform sideways)…and, yes, trusting. I actually organized the day as a next step in my process of overcoming fear/stepping out of my comfort zone. Totally recommend it!


Kara October 6, 2011 at 1:44 am

Thanks for the reminder and encouragement to take a leap and let go. I have been admiring my young son’s fearless nature. I’m going to take on the challenge to do something I’m scared to. Not sure what it is yet, but will keep u posted:)


L October 13, 2011 at 9:33 pm

I LOVE the post about your parents. It is so wonderful that a relationship like that exists. It’s even better because they didn’t let the relationships around them dampen their belief and ability to love. Sometimes I’m worried that will happen to me. It is heartening to know that it doesn’t have to be that way, and that the past doesn’t determine your future.


Esther October 13, 2011 at 10:55 pm

Taking a break = GOOD IDEA. I’m going to take a break from you, too.


Lucy McBees October 14, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Hi everyone.

I am back and I like you so much. I am pretty sad that you get break, but I wish you all the best. Find your angel and spend the magic time in love.

Bye Lucy.

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Cheers Lucy


Farrell October 14, 2011 at 3:36 pm

I don’t know what happened or what people said about your “prince charming” post but I do know that misery loves company and so maybe you just have a lot of miserable readers that don’t want to see you happy, because they aren’t happy. They don’t want to see you in love, because they are not in love. They don’t want to see you trust someone because they can’t trust anyone.

In other words, people suck.

I hope things go well for you. Why would I wish otherwise? Why would anyone? I don’t even really know you, but it sounds like you’ve been through the ringer; why shouldn’t you deserve someone special? Why shouldn’t we all?


Alanna October 21, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Just wanted to say I will miss your posts. I wish I could read all about the new, exciting, in-love feelings and happenings in your life. As a newly single mom I aspire to want to put myself out there again like you have. I know I will, I’m just not ready yet. Thank you so much for sharing all you have. And good for you for wanting to have those feelings again. Enjoy it and don’t let the haters get to you!! Have fun!!!


Automotive mechanics December 18, 2011 at 12:46 am

Cheers, AS I experienced a person’s post in a good way. It’s great to determine person making a specific thing truly worth examining.


Melt your mans heart April 17, 2013 at 4:01 pm

They look like they had a great time. This is something I should do with my children


Questions for the question game April 17, 2013 at 4:32 pm

I think I’m much more cautious when it comes to love now. It will be awhile before I begin to date again but when I do I think since I was so hurt before it might effect how I learn to love again.


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