Trapped (and free shoes).

by mssinglemama on August 2, 2011

What do you think? What do you do to make sure you don’t fall into a whirlwind romance? How do you tell the difference between love and lust?
P.S. I thought a picture of James Bond (the King of Lust) would be appropriate…love Sean Connery! Should add him to my list of the World’s Most Beautiful Men.
bond.jpgHow do you tell the difference? How do you know if it’s love or lust? I think it feels different. In the case of my ex-husband it was all lust. Our whirlwind marriage ended after just two years and those two years were hell! At first, we were completely in lust. Hell, we could barely even understand each other (he is French and his English was rough – to say the least) but we got married anyway (he needed a green card).

A few months after our wedding I realized he only truly understood about 15% of what I was saying. He’d just been nodding his head all along because it was easier than stopping me – a constant chatter box. But, at the time, I was convinced it was the real deal.

Lust is a powerful, powerful feeling…but love is so much better. And when the marriage went downhill all I wanted was a husband who loved me. To hell with lust…it fades fast.

Here’s how I tell the difference…

When it’s lust:

  • I forget myself…often. Even when I’m with Benjamin. I daydream about the next time he’ll be ripping my clothes off.
  • I nod my head adoringly even when he’s spouting utter bull shit.
  • I look past his obvious flaws and tell myself that said flaws are “cute.”
  • I talk to my friends about him…all of the time because I need validation that I’m with him.
  • Things get very serious – very fast.

When it’s love:

  • I am still me.
  • I know he’s there.
  • I want him more than anything, but not because of the sex. I want to BE with him, to talk to him, to hear about his day.
  • Things are nice and slow.
  • I am still 100% focused on my son because he wouldn’t have it any other way.

What do you think? What do you do to make sure you don’t fall into a whirlwind romance? How do you tell the difference between love and lust?
P.S. I thought a picture of James Bond (the King of Lust) would be appropriate…love Sean Connery! Should add him to my list of the World’s Most Beautiful Men.
I’m in an odd limbo right now when it comes to blogging and I don’t feel worthy of you, my reader. I owe you more than this, but for many reasons–some external, I can’t write what I want to write.

I can tell you that I am happy. Incredibly happy. Content even. I don’t have a single complaint (aside from the blazing heat and my shortage of travel funds).

In lieu of a blog post, I have an incredible contest for you – the prize? Shoes!!! Read more for details.

The wonderful folks at, the source for physician recommended shoes and related orthopedic products, have offered me a pair of shoes and another pair for one of you. Ever since Benjamin’s birth I have never quite been able to pull off my four inch heels, a minor tragedy. When I do wear them out I feel it the next day. In my back and all the way down my legs into my knees and even ankles. Dare I say, it’s my “old age”. Ha. Whatever it is, comfortable shoes are mandatory for me now. offers a variety of brands, again – all physician recommended – that don’t compromise style at all. I’m choosing the Kumfs Ziera.

Aren’t they super cute?

Now you pick yours! To enter the contest:

1. Shop the women’s shoes on, (be sure to check out the super cute Kumfs and Ziera sandals. Or help yourself to Sterishoe, this cyborg-like shoe sanitizer that zaps the stink right out of your sneakers).

2. Come back and leave a comment with a link to the pair of shoes you want and your size. Be sure to leave your true e-mail in the comment so I can write you if you win.

3. That’s it! Deadline is Midnight EST on Monday August 8, 2011.

Good luck!

{ 3 trackbacks } - Shop Until You Drop
September 15, 2011 at 3:40 am
Shop Until You Drop « Online Dating « Hooking Up Online
September 29, 2011 at 8:05 pm
From the feet of babes. |
February 1, 2012 at 7:54 pm

{ 92 comments… read them below or add one }

Momma Sunshine August 2, 2011 at 10:48 am
Valerie August 2, 2011 at 10:58 am

Hmmm, I think I’d have to choose the Ziera Karmen!


Susan August 2, 2011 at 11:07 am

I like this one… Aravon Jane. It looks very stylish and just the perfect thing when one needs tennis shoe like comfort, but wants a hip urban style…

Size 9

(email is


lauren August 2, 2011 at 11:12 am

oh how i wish you could write what you want/need to. you have always been such an inspiration to me and you help me remember that it is ok to push forward and write how i really feel. i’ll be here to read when you come back to write!! πŸ™‚
if i could select any pair of shoes at all from the entire site, i would choose the New Balance 940 Women’s Running Shoes (size 7.5). i desperately need to become a bit more active! πŸ˜‰ i’d like to attempt yoga and walking/hiking on a regular basis and winning these shoes would be a nice kick-start!! *


mssinglemama August 2, 2011 at 11:30 am


Soon enough. I promise. Please don’t give up on me.


Kim Hammerling August 2, 2011 at 11:15 am

I think i would choose the Ziera Jade size 6


JJ August 2, 2011 at 11:16 am

New Balance 890 for me! New running shoes and I LOVE the turquoise. πŸ™‚


Allyson B August 2, 2011 at 11:23 am

I love the MBT Women’s Tunisha in 7/5.


Heather August 2, 2011 at 11:25 am

The Ziera Jade’s are fabulous!


Anna August 2, 2011 at 11:26 am
Great minds think alike. I like the Ziera Jade in Tawny, too (size 7). Time for some new back to school looks!


JillianJillian August 2, 2011 at 11:28 am

I would love these in black πŸ™‚ Size 39

Thanks so much and I’m so glad you posted. We missed ya!


Rebecca Mitchell August 2, 2011 at 11:40 am

Take it easy and don’t put pressure on yourself to write for us….there’s plenty of internet to read πŸ™‚


Janean August 2, 2011 at 11:46 am
Morgans Mom August 2, 2011 at 11:47 am

Love me some shoes these are cute!
I check back often to see if you write. Wishing you all the happiness, one little boy can give! keep it real single mama!


Carla August 2, 2011 at 12:06 pm

I’d LOVE the Ziera Jade in black.. Size 9 1/2 (Yes, I have a huge foot) I’m going on a cruise in 2 1/2 weeks and these would look awesome with one of my dresses for formal night πŸ™‚ Please let me win. Lol


Cara August 2, 2011 at 12:06 pm

I love the Ziera Karmen size 10.


Kayla August 2, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Hope things slow down for you soon enough. I’ll be here patiently waiting for the next post…however long that may be.

I love these…too cute! Thanks!!!


Lindsay August 2, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Longtime reader but I never post. Thought what the hell, why not.

New Balance 940 Women’s Running
in size 10 for my gargantuan feet πŸ™‚



Emily August 2, 2011 at 12:39 pm

NB 860 running for me, too! Green 7.5, please!

I’m not sure I’ve ever commented on your blog, but I’m a silent (ok, not anymore) fan!


Courtney August 2, 2011 at 1:04 pm

MMM….single momma training for first half marathon. Would love to try the New Balance 860 in Pink (9.5…my feet aren’t really this big, runners need room for swelling…)


Katja August 2, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Like many others–a no-longer-silent reader here. Without knowing you at all I’m delighted you’re happy (even in ways you can’t blog πŸ˜‰ ) I’m a young single mama going through what might be something quite similar…

Shoes–Aravon Maya 6.5 (So cute! Maybe I could even wear heels and chase the kid! He’s into putting shoes on my feet at the moment. Don’t worry, he’s under 2.)


Marcea August 2, 2011 at 1:14 pm

I thought Ziera Karmen (size 8.5) was very cute! Or a running stability sneakers in size 10.. I am in training for half marathon. I would have hard time to pick!

Thanks and glad to hear you are happy! πŸ™‚


Julie Cummins August 2, 2011 at 1:31 pm

I would Love Love Love, (ziera remember) size 40 (9 US), they would look so great with jeans.


Aryn@LivingOnaDimeorLess August 2, 2011 at 1:32 pm

I’m with you. . .I totally love the Ziera Jade heels! I’m a trainer and stand on my feet ALOT! I totally need these shoes if they are both stylish and easy on my feet and back. I would love them in Black and whatever is equivalent to a US size 9–I totally don’t get the European sizing!


Lauren August 2, 2011 at 1:42 pm

I like these too – very posh,


Lisa August 2, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Love the Ziera Sesame! European sizing confuses me, I always thought I was a size 38, but according to the chart I’d be a 37? I’m usually a 7 or 7.5 in US sizing.


christine August 2, 2011 at 2:04 pm

ooh, so many cute shoes! i’m torn, but i think my first pick would be the Ziera Karmen. although i’m worried that they don’t come in my size. :/

i hope you can write more freely soon. it seems like everyone who blogs gets to a point where they no longer are as open and honest as they initially were, be it because of who reads the blog or because something changes along the way and the need to find that online readership and support goes away.


Joelle August 2, 2011 at 2:38 pm

i like the shoes you picked the best, and I’m a size 9.

I really hope you are not back together with John Bear, but we will anxiously await your next post. I’m sure if you are, it’s a good thing?


Emily Patterson August 2, 2011 at 2:39 pm

I love ziera jade in black and whatever is Equivalent to a size 7.5 πŸ™‚ however, I haven’t worn heels like that in ten years!


Lori August 2, 2011 at 2:41 pm

I would love these in black……

I am a size 9.

Glad you are happy!


Candy August 2, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Love the Ziera Songbird, chocolate in size us8 1/2 /euro 39.

Glad you are doing well. πŸ™‚


Kona August 2, 2011 at 3:14 pm

The New Balance 940 running shoes size 10. Mine went through hell on a field run in PA last weekend, so I may need some new ones soon…


jen August 2, 2011 at 4:02 pm

i’ll admit it.. i could use SteriShoe in a Medium! hahahah.


Shira August 2, 2011 at 4:16 pm

I’m still a little apprehensive about this, since I have such difficulties finding stylish, comfortable shoes for my 85-year-old-feet-on-a-27-year-old-body, but I love the maryjane look and the short, funky heels on the black Ziera Remember (size 8.5) and I can’t resist saying so! They’ll be perfect for work and going out after!


Karen August 2, 2011 at 5:28 pm

I love the New Balance 890 Women’s Running size 6.5!

Big fan of your blog πŸ™‚


Andrea August 2, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Thank you for writing. I would love to have Ziera Jade in black size U.S. 8.5 / Europ 39.


a.k.a.mama August 2, 2011 at 5:39 pm

As much as I love the Ziera Jade-the practical teacher in me would love a pair iof the Ziera Daze-size 10. Wouldn’t that be a fun back to school treat!?


Alison August 2, 2011 at 7:31 pm

Oh, the Ziera Jade in black, in a 9 1/2 would be oh-so-cute in my closet.


Leah August 2, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Ohhh, loving the Komfs Vail. I’d take a chocolate pair size 9.5 (40.5)!


Elizabeth August 2, 2011 at 10:45 pm

I’m with you – how awesome would a pair of heels be that don’t make my whole body hurt the next day? Tina Turner – you rock! Me? Not so much. in a size 9 (39-49).

Curiosity is killing me but you have every right to stay mumm. Love your approach – when you can’t talk about it go for the shoes! Cures any girls slightest ailment. Glad for your happiness in whatever form it’s taken! Although I must say I was cheering for you to call up the New Years Eve Jacket guy. He seemed like a great guy – which, of course, you deserve.


Melissa August 2, 2011 at 10:50 pm
Kate A. August 3, 2011 at 12:08 am
j August 3, 2011 at 5:43 am
Susan M. August 3, 2011 at 6:24 am

I love the Ziera Songbird and the Kumfs Vail, size 8.5.


Anna August 3, 2011 at 8:09 am

GREAT GIVE AWAY! New Balance 860 Running in size 10.5…….now that I am a “singlemama” I need to kick it up and get back into shape! Here’s to a new start!


Kristie August 3, 2011 at 8:23 am

I like the Ziera Karmen (size 8.5) very cute!


Erin Marie August 3, 2011 at 9:35 am

I spend quite a lot of time in heels at work!!! So I like the Ziera Karmen (size 9)!! I cant help but think that your silence means you have something up your sleeve!! I cant wait to read what it is!!


Lisa August 3, 2011 at 10:08 am

I like the Ziera Karmen in size 8.5 (39).

Have a great week!


amy s (OH) August 3, 2011 at 10:16 am

I like the Ziera Jade too!
9.5 (40.5 euro) Tawny
Thanks for the giveaway!


Nicole August 3, 2011 at 10:39 am

New Balance running shoes, size 8

.. looking forward to your return!


Melissa August 3, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Loving the Ziera Halo 2! I have a thing for red heels!


Lisa August 3, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Love the Ziera Remember ( in a size 39 (whoa, that sounds big when you use European sizing!).


Heidi August 3, 2011 at 3:13 pm

I love the Ziera Karmen in a size 7. Thanks for the giveaway!


ASHLEY MAYHEW August 3, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Adore the Ziera Songbird. Perfect for summer into fall. Plus namesake of my favorite Grateful Dead song. They are a tad hippie, no?


Leigh Marotta August 3, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Well I am going for the comfortable clogs:……I’m picturing autumn with jeans, scarfs, cardigans, and clogs!!!


Leigh Marotta August 8, 2011 at 10:39 am

Oops, here is my true email:


Cierra August 3, 2011 at 5:04 pm

It’s a hundred and seven degrees with a low of 88 here in Austin Texas…..the thermometer on my jeep read 112 today!


SavoredLife August 3, 2011 at 5:08 pm

I’m with you. The tawny snakeskin pumps are kickin’! 39.5 for my peds!

I’m just happy you’re happy. πŸ˜€


Jessica August 3, 2011 at 5:35 pm
melissa B August 3, 2011 at 7:13 pm

I so badly need new running shoes in size 10! πŸ™‚


dusti August 3, 2011 at 11:27 pm

I love the ones u picked in 7.5 i buy the red bottoms that i can wear for half an hour but wld love to have some i cld wear all day πŸ™‚


Amy August 4, 2011 at 1:14 pm

I love the Ziera Daze size 8. Awesome shoe!


Kasey August 4, 2011 at 1:33 pm

I’d love a new pair of running shoes.
Size 8


Marney August 4, 2011 at 2:49 pm

The ziera jade in tawny size 38/7.5 are really sweet.

Love your blog.


ErinV August 4, 2011 at 3:28 pm

NewBalance 940’s in a 7.5. I am a nurse and am on my feet ALL the time…then I come home to a 1.5 year old!! This is a great website!
Erin V


Denise August 5, 2011 at 12:26 pm

The NB 825 Cross training in a size 6 would be wonderful.

I need to get in shape! Love your blog!


shannon thompson August 5, 2011 at 1:54 pm

MBT Women’s Tunisha

size 7



Heather August 5, 2011 at 3:13 pm

I love your blog. I am a soon-to-be single mama and I’m jazzed about this contest. I live in Phx but I am originally from OH. I work in a professional environment where the women are expected to wear suits and heals even in 100+ degree weather. I am 7 months pregnant and my foot has grown from a size 10 to an 11. Yikes!! The ziera jade in tawny is perfect and they even have a size 11. Yay!!


Karyn August 5, 2011 at 3:40 pm

I would pick the Ziera Jade in black in a 8.5. I have a crazy addiction to black shoes! πŸ™‚


Kerry Bosworth August 5, 2011 at 6:27 pm

I’d choose these, even though they aren’t the cutest pair. in a size 9, either color.I actually just had bunion surgery yesterday so I’m currently sitting in my bed with my foot propped up looking at shoes! We’re also moving to Hawaii in November and everyone there wears “slippahs.” These would be great to keep with island life but also to support my flat feet! Even if I don’t win, thanks for introducing me to this website!


PB and Jazz August 5, 2011 at 6:45 pm

I think you chose the cutest pair so I am agreeing with you and I chose


PB and Jazz August 5, 2011 at 6:46 pm

OOPS! Size 9! 1 entry for me! Sorry about that!


Lauran August 5, 2011 at 10:16 pm

Nothing better than a good pair of sandals!


Nancy August 5, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Zeira Karmen
I have to wear heels everyday to work and my feet always hurt!!


Shawn August 6, 2011 at 12:09 am

Very interesting discussion and yes I love turquoise, they are wonderful.


Puddlejumpermama August 6, 2011 at 1:19 am

I love the Ziera Karmen! In size 10! Thank you!

P.s. I can’t figure out what to write, either: I have so much going on, I don’t know where to start.


Jen August 6, 2011 at 9:08 am

I probably should be all sensible and get the shoe sanitizer thing for my adolescent boys’ stinky feet…but free & fun is hard to resist! I’m going for the same one as you, Mama! These in a size 7.5 or 8:

Haven’t worn heels in so long!


Irene August 6, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Love the Ziera Jade too! In tawny size 9.5 (40.5 euro). I don’t own any heels bc they are so uncomfortable so I would love to try these sexy heels!


Brittany August 6, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Same! in a 39.

Thanks, and best wishes with what you’re going through.


Jameelah August 6, 2011 at 7:32 pm

Your blog is fab. I know your in a blog-block, but you have enough material over the years to last me for while πŸ™‚ Are you using wordpress? I long for the day my blog can look as cool and interactive as yours.


mssinglemama August 7, 2011 at 9:03 am

Yes, I use WordPress! You should try new themes, or poke around custom themes like this one – the Thesis theme.


Shel August 6, 2011 at 9:17 pm

New Balance 890 Size 9 Teal

Thanks for the contest!


P.Louise August 6, 2011 at 9:36 pm

I like New Balance 846 size 9.5 B.

Thanks for the fun contest!


Julie Rickert August 8, 2011 at 10:11 am

I would love the Ziera Jade in black–size 42. Being a teacher on my feel all day–I would love a good looking pair of shoes that do not kill my feet. πŸ™‚


Maria August 8, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Hi, I would love these in black size 41! Thanks!


Katie August 8, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Melina August 8, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Ziera Jade for sure!! Size 6.5! πŸ™‚


Cmommy August 8, 2011 at 9:16 pm

My tennis shoes wore clean through the bottom last weekend so I would love a pair of these. size 8.5


tania crompton August 17, 2011 at 3:14 am

I really like the Zierra sandles called indigo, they are great (size 9 ) I have arthritis and find Ziera shoes so wonderful, thankyou


sarah August 23, 2011 at 2:58 pm

I am glad i came cross this blog. I love shoes and all types of them: runners, flats, pumps and high heals. What is about shoes that makes women and some men so excited? I can’t think of a time where when i walked into a shoe store and i was not feeling excited when i left, Even if i did not buy a pair.


anton August 6, 2012 at 4:39 pm

I really love this one..Looking for partners? Why don’t you try this site?


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