Coming home.

by mssinglemama on June 29, 2011

Montana, will you have me? And why is this state so sparsely populated when it is quite possibly one of the most beautiful places on Earth? The Blackfeet Indians called Glacier National Park the spine of the world. The way they dot the horizon, in jagged elegance – moving you to your core at the vert sight of them. I have been daydreaming this entire time of moving here. It’s just hard to imagine not being here when you are here.

My daydream goes something like this.

I hunt on an online dating site until I find a single man in Montana. Wait, scratch that. Does a man have to be involved? Why does a man have to be there? To fight off the bears and the moose. Okay, yeah. But maybe you could learn to fight them yourself? Or maybe there wouldn’t be any – as long as you keep the trash in the garage. So, I start over. It’s just Benjamin and Me. We are out in the wilderness, in a little cabin where I can write all day and make just enough on my dial up connection to pay our bills. But, what about his school? Benjamin’s? I would have to home-school him. Or live in a city and then there’s the cost of that…

I settle in my day dream for a summer house that eventually becomes my retirement home. And then I close my eyes and then slowly open them again to take in the mountains. I am trying to hold on to them so they’ll stay with me after I leave. Or at least the indescribable feeling of being in their presence.

We will be back home and to reality tomorrow night. I promise to post pictures as soon as I can. But somewhere along the way my Macbook Pro blew a fuse – the battery mysteriously overheated and popped right out of its socket. I am using my brother’s to write this now. A stolen moment in a dark hotel room.

Something up there, it seems, wants to keep me “unplugged” for as long as possible. And I can’t say I mind much.

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  4. No place like home.
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Coming home. | LifeStyle
July 14, 2011 at 6:43 am

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

30somethingmama June 29, 2011 at 4:04 am

what a lovely post alainna. how are you now? i don’t blog as much anymore. forgot the password to my site, bummer!!

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Jenica June 29, 2011 at 8:29 am

I’d say much of Montana’s beauty is because its sparsely populated. Oh, but he celebrities keep driving up the price of land, making it harder and harder for the farmers and the ranchers to hold onto theirs.

Enjoy your time there!

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Jamie June 29, 2011 at 10:55 am

We LOVED having you here! Come back soooooon!

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Melissa June 30, 2011 at 11:50 am

I know this feeling well. I live at the base of the Sierras…about a 20 minute drive to Lake Tahoe! I never appreciated the beauty here until I moved away! Every time I would visit home, I would have elaborate daydreams about coming home too! I moved back 8 years ago, and will never take the beauty for granted again. It can be breathtaking!

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Nikki June 30, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Mmmm. :) I’m savoring it with you. I’ve been away from this ‘home’ for longer than I lived there now…but it still beckons me…draws me…calls me to its heartbeat. It is where I’m able to breathe…fresh, clean, mountain air. And no matter where you are, it seems…a river runs through it. :)

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Steph July 2, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Typical single mum, you have to workout where your child is going to go to school before you can allow yourself to relax enough to enjoy the daydream. lol

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rachael July 3, 2011 at 11:32 pm

i just got back from florida. i feel your pain.

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Sara Wenzel July 4, 2011 at 12:12 am

I say dream as much as possible and do everything you can to live each and every moment enjoying your son and all of the adventures you two have. I have been reading your site for the last year and a half and have been so encouraged my you. You honestly have become such a source of strength for me and the ability to relate to your situation has been healing as well. I have never written before but now feel compelled. On Friday my son was diagnosed with cancer and I have never been more scared in my life. I have always cherished the time with him but now it seems even more critical to live in each and every moment together. Follow whatever dreams you have for the both of you….right now nothing seems significant but the time I have with my son. Everything else can fall away but the precious moments we have. Thank you for your encouragement over this past year. Take Care.

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