Texas calling.

by mssinglemama on March 15, 2011

I didn’t take enough pictures. And I didn’t network enough, or attend enough panels and I didn’t rest enough.

But enough with everything I didn’t do.

I did meet a new friend. A friend I have had virtually through Twitter for years. And, as always, it never ceases to amaze me at how absolutely beautiful, stunning and wickedly smart my readers are.

Over lunch we discussed our lives, our jobs, our sons and the stress that it all brings. The fine balance we are walking every day.

“What if I broke a leg? What if he did? What if someone in our family was sick?” And the real kicker, “How do we work and raise our kids without losing our minds in the process or f—- them up?”

We have no answers for each other and we can’t come up with a solution because like all of the modern working mothers in America, we are too busy to represent ourselves, to demand affordable and quality child care, to re-balance our work schedules to mirror the needs of our children–the future leaders of this country.

There is no one speaking for us because we are all too busy keeping our heads and our children’s above water.

And while we have equality at work, things are still unbalanced at home. Many of us are still doing just as much as we were. And that’s assuming we even have a partner at home.

When I started Cement Marketing, I had John. And I can’t say I would have done so, or come this far without his help, without knowing he would be there to help in the future. Now, I am here with the business, with Benjamin and completely alone. This wasn’t in the plan and I’m having a very hard time diffusing and de-stressing in order to manage the work load and to be the best possible Mom I can be.

All of this and more I tell Sunny and she knows because she’s been reading for so long, so she knows me as well as anyone.

We decide to escape from the world after lunch, and to take some time for ourselves, together. Mommy rebels.

First a stop for manicures.  And then boot shopping for Sunny.

Throughout the store you could just hear women gasping, “Oh my God! Oh my God!” Because of boots like these

And these

Sunny chooses a lovely pair from Ariat.

She’ll have them for years, I say. And once you try Cowboy boots you’ll never go back.  Back on the street again we stop for a few pictures.

I wish I could just be one of these guys for a day.

A few minutes later Mai Le, a fashion blogger, stops me on the street to take my picture. I had bought the dress that morning and changed in the shop because the Texas heat caught me off guard. So did the wind, couldn’t keep the dress down.

You can check out Mai’s fashion blog, but she didn’t end up publishing my picture. Must have had something to do with my eyes squinting into her camera. But Sunny caught some shots. Including this one.

I’m such a dork. Posing or modeling… can’t do it without making fun of myself.

Later we headed to a bar for some dancing and guy meeting.

I’m dipping my toe in the water and have been trying to get back out there, but it’s not easy. I feel so weighted. Sunny says I’m mourning and not ready yet. But, mourning or not, we still have an awesome night. After all, we are in Texas and there are men and music and tequila everywhere. My three favorite things, even if I can’t have them all.

The next day I’m on a plane and plotting another trip this summer. But this time I’m taking my little man with me… to Jackson Hole for a stop to visit his Uncle Ezra and (hopefully, Sunny and her little man) before we head up to Glaciar National Park. No Internet. No work. Just mountains and this beautiful, beautiful country of ours…

Am I boring you?

I’m sorry if you all thought this blog would become more exciting with me being single and all. I’m afraid there’s not much to report during my fantastically boring re-adjustment phase.

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