A line of b.s.

by mssinglemama on February 28, 2011

I have a confession.

When I am single. (And sometimes when I’m in a relationship). I check the Craigslist Personals.

I’m not sure why. I have never, ever found a listing that even remotely appeals to me. And yet, I go back. I think it’s because the Craigslist Personals terrify me and totally crack me up simultaneously. I can’t say the same for any other form of entertainment.

This weekend, I hopped on and found this ad:

Come fly with me – seeking beautiful travel companion – 63 (Far away places).

Nice looking, energetic, DWM, planning many trips over next few years while it lasts. Dubai, Brazil, Thailand, Panama, Fiji, Tahiti, South Africa among the known destinations. Where do you want to go?

I sent it to my Mom. Just because… why not? And largely because I wanted to read her response, which was simply:

Sounds like a line of bs – Mom.

My mother won’t let anyone take her photograph. You have to be sneaky with the camera if you want to capture a glimpse of her.

This weekend, Benjamin was particularly testy when I picked him up at her house. After spending a week away from home he was exhausted and discombobulated. With Benjamin whining and crying in the back seat, I slipped behind the wheel bracing myself for the ride home when my mother came bursting out of her front door. Wrapped in a blanket and with a scarf over her head for added effect she ran up along side the moving car and shouted, “I’ll race you to the top!”

The top being the top of her never ending drive way.

Nothing like a running grandma to snap a kid out of a funk.

Especially when she is headed right for you.

I know wherever my Dad is, he must be missing her like crazy.

She talks about him all of the time. Still, twelve years later. I can’t imagine her pain or pretend to imagine. But, in spite of that pain, I tell her she is lucky. Lucky because even though her love was mercifully ripped away–she did have it. I am 31 years old and I haven’t even come close to what they had. But I want. I do. I am a hopeless romantic. As evidenced by me falling time and time again for men.

I witnessed Mom and Dad’s love first hand. All five of my siblings and I had front row seats to their crazy attraction to each other and their impenetrable partnership. It could be one of the reasons why I fall so hopelessly into relationships. I have seen what’s possible and I want it… quickly. But as my Mom always reminds me, “You weren’t there during the first seven years. What you saw took years and years of work.”

That’s the part I can’t seem to understand. How do you tell when it’s too much work? John always said, “it should be this much work.” But, I disagreed with him. I felt what we had been through, what we had survived together was a testament to our relationship. I’d like to know your thoughts on relationships and work, knowing that so many of you have had the strength to call the game when you know enough was enough.

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